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There are times when words hurt more than actions do. Especially so if they come from the mouth of someone you thought you were close with. Bonus points if the addressee doesn't quite * get * why their words were hurtful. Mix these three things—hurtful words coming from your loved one without them being aware of being an a-hole—and you get the perfect combination to mess with someone's self-esteem.
When one young woman asked people on Twitter "what are things a guy has said to you that he has no idea severely hurt your feelings?" dozens of people delivered. While we're not saying that only guys say offensive things, this list is precisely about that—30 people sharing the times that a man has hurt their feelings without being aware of it. So scroll down to see the full list and tell us in the comments below whether * you * have ever been offended by a guy who thought he was just being honest!
More info: Twitter
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#5
Ryo Bakura 4 years ago
"Baby, talking to you is like taking out the trash. Or cutting the grass. Or cleaning my dirty plates."
#9
Ryo Bakura 4 years ago
I hope you burned the bridge that was between you. Along with the rest of his stuff.
#10
#11
#14
Blarrg 4 years ago
I mean, I guess it's all opinion, but in my view unless you've got vampire problems, there is definitely such a thing as too much garlic.
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Beth Rappeport 4 years ago
That happened to a chef friend of mine. She made him a pasta dish from scratch, I think she had to buy a special attachment for her pasta machine for the style of pasta, and his reaction was "Why couldn't you just make a box of mac and cheese?"
CrunChewy McSandybutt 4 years ago
My husband does this. He thinks I want his input. I. Do. Not.
Mark Serbian 4 years ago
Had a GF once who commented that I treated garlic "like a vegetable". which was OK. She was Italian and loved to cook with it!
Carlota Ocón 4 years ago
first of all there's no such thing as 'too much garlic' second, not minimal at all what an idiot
Vivek Mhatre 4 years ago
ProTip: When you think the food is bad. Appreciate it, then lovingly feed it to her as well. She would now know how it is and will point out the faults herself.
Suzanne Haigh 3 years ago
I know I once cooked someone their dinner, he did not say much but was fussy. I never cooked anyone another until I was married, he is still living.
Joyce Deering 4 years ago
That's when you pick up his dish, scrape it into the trash, open the door and say "Goodbye". Exactly in that order. No frills. No drama. Chalk it up to experience & move on.
Kimberly Drieu 4 years ago
I've always been a really good cook, and I can't believe I was married for 19 years to a man whose first words at every meal were whatever nitpicky thing he didn't like about it. My husband now totally appreciates everything I cook and bake, especially because his ex was a horrible cook. It's one of a million reasons I'm married to this man and not my ex.
Isabel Care 4 years ago
Checked with my ex if he liked the ingredients, if he wanted them separate or mixed together and with mayo mixed in or on the side. Did what he wanted..."I'm not eating that slop". Great, I'll have it cold tomorrow and you'll have to be hungry as you walk home in the rain.
Elijah Snow 4 years ago
Did you want to know whether he was a vampire or something? For your information, garlic allergy is a thing. The stench of garlic is nasty as f**k, and why would use put so much of it in a meal, in full knowledge that it is salty as hell? I would probably have answered the same thing.
Sinkvenice 4 years ago
Considering you were teaching yourself how to cook which, one assumes, is something you'd tell him, had you asked him to tell you what he thought, or asked him to critique it in some way? If so, that's quite an important detail to leave out, so this doesn't count. If not, that's beyond rude and I hope you swiftly showed him the exit!
#20
Daniel da Silva 4 years ago
Point to his penis and say "you're a large? really? are you... sure?"
#21
#23
Ryo Bakura 4 years ago
What's wrong with both? Having a scholar for a girlfriend would be awesome. Sitting by the fire, drinking cognac, discussing why Freud made everything about Penis Envy, and how much acid Piet Mondrian must have dropped when he started with his grid-based paintings.
#25
Ryo Bakura 4 years ago
That guy was one of those things that women are getting unsolicited pics of.
#27
Felicia Dale 4 years ago
This is why it's important to know people's "love languages." He may not be ok with telling you you're pretty but if he's expressing his love for you in other ways (being faithful, telling the truth kindly, buying you treats, doing chores, etc.) then he may still love you very, very much. But people can learn to express themselves in new ways when they need to, or if they want to.
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What do you think ?
How Terribly Unfortunate 4 years ago
Most of these "accidental" ones are honestly just toxic relationships.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
What's the point of this? It's just a collection of guys saying hurtfull or insulting things. I'm sure if I'd asked on Twitter "Guys, what's the meanest thing a woman ever said or done to you? "' I'd get a similar collection of women doing or saying hurtfull or insulting things. This is just another bashing of men because "Men BAD!!!" SMH.
Marnie 4 years ago
Yeah. I don't understand why it wasn't just asking about anyone accidentally hurting feelings. Why single out guys? I see a few guys responded anyway with their stories, which made me happy.
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Samantha Melnychuk 3 years ago
I know I offend my husband on occasion by accident, but the stuff that comes out of his mouth on a weekly basis by 'accident'? Omg
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Cold Contagious 4 years ago
Guys and girls, if your relationship doesn't make you feel good about yourselves, or it's not in your dating partner's personality to ever encourage you or compliment you in any way, but they have no problem being critical of something about you, then it's a good indication that you are not in a good relationship. While I realize there are many reasons that people choose to stay in these relationships, you are much better off without people that don't make you feel good about yourselves. It's also important to say that it's no one else's duty to make someone else feel good, but if you're in a good relationship, it will happen naturally. I do know how it feels to think you can't be without these people, but you absolutely can. Sometimes you will be so much better and happier for it also. Take time to love yourself and treat yourself and most of all be kind to yourself! If someone else isn't doing that very basic of all things in a relationship, being kind, then that's absolutely not a relationship for you. This applies to men or women either one, you both deserve to be happy in your relationships. Enjoy life and be kind to those who are kind to you.
Geoffrey Holland 4 years ago
The very first one that apparently started this idea is ridiculous. If someone I'm dating texts me to say that some other guy told them they had gorgeous eyes I wouldn't know what to say first and second I certainly wouldn't agree. I'd probably be preparing for being dumped. That's not something you should share with the person you're dating.
Teodora L. Kostadinova 4 years ago
Soooo, I wrote an instrumental piece for my bf... he liked it very much.So I asked him "Did you notice how it sounds unlike anything I play in general?" And he goes: "Yeah, this one is very good". I got a good chuckle out of it, he was mortified once he realised how that sounded.
Annemarie Mattheyse 4 years ago
The new CMO at our company, who is a branding and marketing superstar, after working with me for a few weeks, asked me to join his team as head of brand. My background is in translation and technical communication, but I had been dabbling a lot in writing copy and coming up with messaging while our marketing department got up to speed. This represented a major promotion and (for me) an exciting career change. My husband's reaction? "But you don't know anything about Marketing!" It only occurred to him months later that this was probably something we should celebrate.
Cold Contagious 4 years ago
Idk why this gets downvoted, yes that's a thoughtless thing to say, but I do hope that you did or will acknowledge to him that you were hoping to celebrate the occasion and would have love to have support and encouragement going forward. If you focus on what you hope for and need instead of being accusatory, as much as we all feel like we need to sometimes, it will usually take the pressure off the other person and hopefully they will receive your message better.
Load More Replies...
Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago
I know I'm not great, but at least reading these makes me understand that there are a lot worse people than me.
Little Wonder 4 years ago
"The trouble with you is you're a rusty VW beetle at a car show, you need to stop hanging around with attractive women because you can never compete with them". Thanks bro.
Edo Alva 4 years ago
Great. Now make those instances when girls hurt boys. Cause "fairness and equality", right? Just see the comments, mostly females being salty for each pictures but here for the article just males who are acting logically. My point is, we should realize that we do hurt each other. Our society is the one that is broken. This kind of posting just divides people from different groups / gender even more. In a bad way.
Signe Manat Hansen 4 years ago
You just called women "females" and basically called them hysterical. Please don't shoot up any theaters.
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lazy panda 4 years ago
I've been told by 4 different guys that I'm "pretty enough to sleep with, but not pretty enough to date." This started when I was 14 years old...
E Menendez 4 years ago
I don't understand when anyone gets offended or upset by being told they are too smart or seem to have a high intelligence
Irina Ionascu 4 years ago
I don’t think they were offended by that, rather than by the fact that the other person somehow made it out to be a bad thing
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KoalaLa 4 years ago
So, when I started my new job, a icky coworker asked me out, I said no because of various reasons. He kept on asking, I still said no... He then called me a whore and told everyone we slept togheter... Months later, another male coworker told me "well, it's kinda your own fault, you're on tinder, you were asking for it" . Still don't know who of the two I want to set on fire the most...
Perpetual Peripheral Persons 4 years ago
It's so easy to Break the Mouth-Brain Filter. I wish I had a Redo Option for any Conversation... :D
CincyReds 4 years ago
I had just got in a car accident and was in the hospital, I broke my neck and surgery was the next day, my x-husband who was just siting n the room. I said " you should have brought some cards we can play gin" His response " You should have not wrecked the car". I told him to just leave, and I started crying
Christine M Quigley 4 years ago
I sent my ex balloons and cookies to his office (he owned the business) for his 40th birthday, and he got pissed off at me- said he was embarrassed in front of his employees..Yes, I ended up divorcing the dummy, and he's regretted his behavior ever since..
Neurotic_Octopus 4 years ago
I like the vengeful comment strings on this, lol. But I also like how this gives me confidence in my current relationship. Told my BF about a previous rejection that gave me a major insecurity, and he circled back to it an hour later by saying "I'm sorry, but WTF was wrong with that guy?!?" ...I think I'll keep this one ^.^
Elizabeth 4 years ago
I have a good one, a former boyfriend (whom I was dating at the time) said I have "nice child bearing hips" he meant it as a compliment and was truly dumbfounded when I didn't take it well. This did not instigate the breakup but it was eye opening as to the vastly different ways we were raised.
Trash Panda 4 years ago
This goes back 30 years ago, I was 21. I worked in a busy restaurant w/a party atmosphere & our crew was pretty tight. We all hung out after work & some relationships borne out of that. One girl who was so artistically talented, smart, & funny. She was a little overweight but that had nothing to do with whether or not she was attractive. She was. All those things mentioned and the fact she was physically cute all made her attractive. She showed interest in me & we had a fling (I hid that from our coworkers) but, because I was a shallow a*****e at the time, I told another coworker that she'd be great if she lost about 15 lbs. She heard those words. She was crushed. I tried to mend the friendship but it didn't really happen. I'd like to think I've grown since and, in the age of social media, we've been able to reconnect. She's a successful artist and has an awesome family. I've made clear how much I appreciate her friendship but haven't expressed how much I regret being the jerk I was.
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
Level up, ladies. These are just low value men, behaving like low value men. There are men who will treat you well, and not play head games. Love yourself and treat yourself with respect, and you'll never tolerate anyone treating you like garbage again. When a crappy dude who shows you who he is, leave him and find someone worthy of your love and attention. They're out there.
Sandra Lent 4 years ago
Women need more self confidence and less sensitivity about their bodies. Also, when a man truly loves you, he loves you, you'll feel it. Huge difference between someone you connect with and something you're trying to make work.
Milan 4 years ago
Lets be honest. Some of post just showing, how can some of girls just overreact or showing toxic relationships. In a healthy relationship should be no issue make funny points without any greater depht... Me and my wife making sarcastic or funny points all the time and being together almost 15 years ;)
Jo Choto 4 years ago
The issue is caring more what someone else thinks about you than how you feel about yourself. A lot of these comments are just total throw-aways and shouldn't be a big deal. You just write it off to someone being thoughtless or an a*****e, rather than letting it affect the way you feel about yourself. Being young is hard.
Dwayne Dixon 4 years ago
No one wants to hear the truth on either side, and forget about expressing an opinion. Much easier to just bite your tongue so the trolls don't get yah.
Aunt Messy 4 years ago
Ladies (and the guy on the last one), there's only one correct answer to any of these - to be delivered as you walk out the door. "Go f**k yourself, loser."
Pseudo Puppy 4 years ago
personally, I believe this entire post is ridiculous. Not all guys are arses. Not all chicks take everything to heart. This is just the author's attempt to incite arguments for the sake of "clicks" and advertising dollars. It's actually kinda pathetic, wouldn't you agree?
Load More Replies... Ryo Bakura 4 years ago
You might want to go back to your bridge. Those billy goats are going to cross it if you're not there to stop them.
Load More Replies...
Incel Slayer 4 years ago
I can't possibly imagine why you don't get laid much.
Load More Replies... How Terribly Unfortunate 4 years ago
Most of these "accidental" ones are honestly just toxic relationships.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
What's the point of this? It's just a collection of guys saying hurtfull or insulting things. I'm sure if I'd asked on Twitter "Guys, what's the meanest thing a woman ever said or done to you? "' I'd get a similar collection of women doing or saying hurtfull or insulting things. This is just another bashing of men because "Men BAD!!!" SMH.
Marnie 4 years ago
Yeah. I don't understand why it wasn't just asking about anyone accidentally hurting feelings. Why single out guys? I see a few guys responded anyway with their stories, which made me happy.
Load More Replies... Samantha Melnychuk 3 years ago
I know I offend my husband on occasion by accident, but the stuff that comes out of his mouth on a weekly basis by 'accident'? Omg
Load More Replies... Cold Contagious 4 years ago
Guys and girls, if your relationship doesn't make you feel good about yourselves, or it's not in your dating partner's personality to ever encourage you or compliment you in any way, but they have no problem being critical of something about you, then it's a good indication that you are not in a good relationship. While I realize there are many reasons that people choose to stay in these relationships, you are much better off without people that don't make you feel good about yourselves. It's also important to say that it's no one else's duty to make someone else feel good, but if you're in a good relationship, it will happen naturally. I do know how it feels to think you can't be without these people, but you absolutely can. Sometimes you will be so much better and happier for it also. Take time to love yourself and treat yourself and most of all be kind to yourself! If someone else isn't doing that very basic of all things in a relationship, being kind, then that's absolutely not a relationship for you. This applies to men or women either one, you both deserve to be happy in your relationships. Enjoy life and be kind to those who are kind to you.
Geoffrey Holland 4 years ago
The very first one that apparently started this idea is ridiculous. If someone I'm dating texts me to say that some other guy told them they had gorgeous eyes I wouldn't know what to say first and second I certainly wouldn't agree. I'd probably be preparing for being dumped. That's not something you should share with the person you're dating.
Teodora L. Kostadinova 4 years ago
Soooo, I wrote an instrumental piece for my bf... he liked it very much.So I asked him "Did you notice how it sounds unlike anything I play in general?" And he goes: "Yeah, this one is very good". I got a good chuckle out of it, he was mortified once he realised how that sounded.
Annemarie Mattheyse 4 years ago
The new CMO at our company, who is a branding and marketing superstar, after working with me for a few weeks, asked me to join his team as head of brand. My background is in translation and technical communication, but I had been dabbling a lot in writing copy and coming up with messaging while our marketing department got up to speed. This represented a major promotion and (for me) an exciting career change. My husband's reaction? "But you don't know anything about Marketing!" It only occurred to him months later that this was probably something we should celebrate.
Cold Contagious 4 years ago
Idk why this gets downvoted, yes that's a thoughtless thing to say, but I do hope that you did or will acknowledge to him that you were hoping to celebrate the occasion and would have love to have support and encouragement going forward. If you focus on what you hope for and need instead of being accusatory, as much as we all feel like we need to sometimes, it will usually take the pressure off the other person and hopefully they will receive your message better.
Load More Replies... Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago
I know I'm not great, but at least reading these makes me understand that there are a lot worse people than me.
Little Wonder 4 years ago
"The trouble with you is you're a rusty VW beetle at a car show, you need to stop hanging around with attractive women because you can never compete with them". Thanks bro.
Edo Alva 4 years ago
Great. Now make those instances when girls hurt boys. Cause "fairness and equality", right? Just see the comments, mostly females being salty for each pictures but here for the article just males who are acting logically. My point is, we should realize that we do hurt each other. Our society is the one that is broken. This kind of posting just divides people from different groups / gender even more. In a bad way.
Signe Manat Hansen 4 years ago
You just called women "females" and basically called them hysterical. Please don't shoot up any theaters.
Load More Replies... lazy panda 4 years ago
I've been told by 4 different guys that I'm "pretty enough to sleep with, but not pretty enough to date." This started when I was 14 years old...
E Menendez 4 years ago
I don't understand when anyone gets offended or upset by being told they are too smart or seem to have a high intelligence
Irina Ionascu 4 years ago
I don’t think they were offended by that, rather than by the fact that the other person somehow made it out to be a bad thing
Load More Replies... KoalaLa 4 years ago
So, when I started my new job, a icky coworker asked me out, I said no because of various reasons. He kept on asking, I still said no... He then called me a whore and told everyone we slept togheter... Months later, another male coworker told me "well, it's kinda your own fault, you're on tinder, you were asking for it" . Still don't know who of the two I want to set on fire the most...
Perpetual Peripheral Persons 4 years ago
It's so easy to Break the Mouth-Brain Filter. I wish I had a Redo Option for any Conversation... :D
CincyReds 4 years ago
I had just got in a car accident and was in the hospital, I broke my neck and surgery was the next day, my x-husband who was just siting n the room. I said " you should have brought some cards we can play gin" His response " You should have not wrecked the car". I told him to just leave, and I started crying
Christine M Quigley 4 years ago
I sent my ex balloons and cookies to his office (he owned the business) for his 40th birthday, and he got pissed off at me- said he was embarrassed in front of his employees..Yes, I ended up divorcing the dummy, and he's regretted his behavior ever since..
Neurotic_Octopus 4 years ago
I like the vengeful comment strings on this, lol. But I also like how this gives me confidence in my current relationship. Told my BF about a previous rejection that gave me a major insecurity, and he circled back to it an hour later by saying "I'm sorry, but WTF was wrong with that guy?!?" ...I think I'll keep this one ^.^
Elizabeth 4 years ago
I have a good one, a former boyfriend (whom I was dating at the time) said I have "nice child bearing hips" he meant it as a compliment and was truly dumbfounded when I didn't take it well. This did not instigate the breakup but it was eye opening as to the vastly different ways we were raised.
Trash Panda 4 years ago
This goes back 30 years ago, I was 21. I worked in a busy restaurant w/a party atmosphere & our crew was pretty tight. We all hung out after work & some relationships borne out of that. One girl who was so artistically talented, smart, & funny. She was a little overweight but that had nothing to do with whether or not she was attractive. She was. All those things mentioned and the fact she was physically cute all made her attractive. She showed interest in me & we had a fling (I hid that from our coworkers) but, because I was a shallow a*****e at the time, I told another coworker that she'd be great if she lost about 15 lbs. She heard those words. She was crushed. I tried to mend the friendship but it didn't really happen. I'd like to think I've grown since and, in the age of social media, we've been able to reconnect. She's a successful artist and has an awesome family. I've made clear how much I appreciate her friendship but haven't expressed how much I regret being the jerk I was.
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
Level up, ladies. These are just low value men, behaving like low value men. There are men who will treat you well, and not play head games. Love yourself and treat yourself with respect, and you'll never tolerate anyone treating you like garbage again. When a crappy dude who shows you who he is, leave him and find someone worthy of your love and attention. They're out there.
Sandra Lent 4 years ago
Women need more self confidence and less sensitivity about their bodies. Also, when a man truly loves you, he loves you, you'll feel it. Huge difference between someone you connect with and something you're trying to make work.
Milan 4 years ago
Lets be honest. Some of post just showing, how can some of girls just overreact or showing toxic relationships. In a healthy relationship should be no issue make funny points without any greater depht... Me and my wife making sarcastic or funny points all the time and being together almost 15 years ;)
Jo Choto 4 years ago
The issue is caring more what someone else thinks about you than how you feel about yourself. A lot of these comments are just total throw-aways and shouldn't be a big deal. You just write it off to someone being thoughtless or an a*****e, rather than letting it affect the way you feel about yourself. Being young is hard.
Dwayne Dixon 4 years ago
No one wants to hear the truth on either side, and forget about expressing an opinion. Much easier to just bite your tongue so the trolls don't get yah.
Aunt Messy 4 years ago
Ladies (and the guy on the last one), there's only one correct answer to any of these - to be delivered as you walk out the door. "Go f**k yourself, loser."
Pseudo Puppy 4 years ago
personally, I believe this entire post is ridiculous. Not all guys are arses. Not all chicks take everything to heart. This is just the author's attempt to incite arguments for the sake of "clicks" and advertising dollars. It's actually kinda pathetic, wouldn't you agree?
Load More Replies... Ryo Bakura 4 years ago
You might want to go back to your bridge. Those billy goats are going to cross it if you're not there to stop them.
Load More Replies... Incel Slayer 4 years ago
I can't possibly imagine why you don't get laid much.
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