Moving in together is a big step in a relationship. It can both tie the couple closer together and challenge their bond, so it’s important how they go about it.

By the looks of it, the guy who made this Reddit post and his girlfriend aren’t really on the best course.

Using a now-deleted account, he explained that the two of them can’t agree on most things when it comes to this decision, and have been fighting over their finances.

Stuck in the argument, he asked the famous ‘Am I the [Jerk]’ community to at least help him understand who is to blame here. Continue scrolling to read what he wrote.

This guy is on his way to becoming a pathologist, and wants to live near the hospital he does his residency in

Image credits: Andrew Neel (not the actual photo)

However, he can’t really afford it and wants his girlfriend to pay most of the rent

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)

Image credits: anon

“Don’t contemplate a move-in because you want to save on some bills, or get rid of your roommate; moving in together should be a natural next step to a solid relationship and shared life goals,” dating coach Hayley Quinn told Bored Panda. “Before you have the ‘should we move in?’ chat make sure that you check out that your expectations are aligned. Do you see this as ‘the next step’ towards a future together? Or just something convenient that works right now?”

Quinn, who also gave an excellent TED talk called ‘Searching for love to escape ourselves‘, believes that a couple should tackle practical issues. “Your shared finances may not sound that romantic, but getting on the same page is an important step in building your partnership. Moving in together is a good time to come clean about your financial situation and do some planning together. Have an idea of how you’ll be dividing the bills, and chores, or mortgage ahead of time,” she said.

And the dating coach is right. 48% of Americans who are married or living with a partner say they argue with the person over money, according to a survey by The Cashlorette. Most of those fights are about spending habits: 60% said that one person spends too much or the other is too cheap.

These conflicts can have serious consequences. In many cases, they are the number one predictor of whether or not you’ll end up divorced, according to a study of more than 4,500 couples.

“Financial disagreements did predict divorce more strongly than other common problem areas like disagreements over household tasks or spending time together,” the authors of the study concluded.

“Whilst it might feel taboo to talk about money, it’s important to focus on transparency,” Quinn added. “In the long run, your relationship will expand beyond fun dates, and great sex, into the practical, and the mundane. This is okay. You may even find with a shared spreadsheet to hand that your love and trust for one another only deepens.”

There is some truth to what the man is saying in the post. Experts at the National Bank of Canada agree that the 50/50 split works when both people are making more or less the same. If, however, there is a significant salary gap between them, the distribution of expenses is more balanced if each contributes proportionally to their income.

The equation is quite simple: all you have to do is calculate what percentage of total household income is earned by each person and then apply this percentage to the total monthly budget.

Let’s take this hypothetical situation as an example: one of the spouses earns $75,000 per year and the other $25,000. The monthly household budget is $5,000. How do they allocate the expenses? The spouse who earns $75,000 transfers $3,750 to the joint account (or 75% of $5,000) and the other transfers the remaining $1,250 (25% of $5,000). Thus, each partner is contributing to shared expenses in relation to their financial capacity.

However, we don’t know all the details about this particular relationship and have heard only one side of the story. At least these folks seem to be talking about it.

Most people thought he’s acting like a jerk

With a few saying he’s not or that they’re both to blame

Games

View all games

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!