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Man Draws The Line At Girlfriend’s Insane Rent Request: “She Says I’m Just Making Excuses”

Man Draws The Line At Girlfriend’s Insane Rent Request: “She Says I’m Just Making Excuses”

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Moving in together is like unlocking a new level in a relationship—it’s fun, it’s exciting, but it comes with a unique set of challenges. Last week, Reddit user Throwawayl4081 made a post on r/AITAH about a dilemma he’s facing with his girlfriend.

The woman owns a house and wants him to move in, but she’s uncomfortable adding him to the mortgage. While he said he understood, she asked for “rent” that’s double what he currently pays, and they got into a standoff where neither is willing to budge, and the man is growing increasingly unsure if he’s being unreasonable or if she wants too much.

A couple should progress through their relationship when both feel like taking the next step

Image credits: Monstera Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)

So after this man got into a disagreement with his girlfriend about moving in together, it cast a shadow over their entire future

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Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: throwawayl4081

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Image credits: Kampus Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)

A “landlord/tenant” arrangement could work in this situation

On paper, the solution proposed by the girlfriend doesn’t sound bad.

“Approaching this arrangement from a landlord/tenant perspective may seem cold, but it is objective, straightforward, and meets the interests of both parties,” said Sarah Asebedo, the president of the Financial Therapy Association and a professor at Texas Tech University.

The bottom line is that if the girlfriend owns the house, she bears all of the associated risks. These include a decline in the property’s value, any expenses associated with its future sale, as well as the required maintenance and upkeep. If a dog-walker happens to slip and fall in the icy driveway, she’s the one who is liable. But that means the guy shouldn’t be paying for a snowplow service, either.

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In return for shouldering these risks and expenses, the girlfriend would build equity and perhaps one day sell the house for more than what she bought. But for the time being, that doesn’t really concern the author of the post. “It’s not fair to expect to receive these returns if you are not bearing any of the risks,” Asebedo explained. “To justify asking for part of those returns, then you would need to become a joint owner and borrower of the property.”

However, since the woman said she doesn’t want to add him to her mortgage, that option is out of the window.

Asebedo said another possibility is to become a “tenant-in-common,” which would give him a percentage stake in the property, but again, that seems like more trouble than they want.

The tricky part is deciding how much to pay the girlfriend for his “rent.”

It’s reasonable to think that a 50-50 split of the mortgage payment would be fair, but according to Asebedo, the situation is more nuanced.

As an owner, his girlfriend should cover the costs associated with ownership — property improvements, repairs, insurance — like any landlord would. To determine the monthly payments, the couple could check out current rental rates for similar properties nearby. “Either pay half the mortgage or a fair rental rate for a similar property, whichever is less,” she suggested. Then, of course, you can divide the rest of your living expenses — utilities, groceries, etc. — the same way you would if you were both renting together.

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Some context is missing from this particular case, but if what the guy said in the comments is true and his girlfriend is demanding he pays the price for what an entire proper would go for, that sounds unreasonable.

The reactions to the story are mixed—some people said the man is being perfectly reasonable

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While others believe both the man and woman could approach the argument with more empathy

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A few also said the man is the one who is in the wrong

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

Should the boyfriend move in under the current rent conditions proposed by his girlfriend?
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Nina
Community Member
21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Based on the info, NTA. It would be berserk to pay a rent that covers the whole house. If she wanted that type of rent to be paid, she should move out en become a landlord of the place. It's fair to split the cost so they both contribute evenly to the cost of living there. It's not okay to let your partner pay a rent as if they're renting the whole place without a roommate.

Donna Peluda
Community Member
20 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Carefull mate, while you are paying rent she is building equity. Even splitting the cost 50/50 is not fair because you get nothing out of it. You should move in and cover utilities and buy a place a rent it so that way when break up you'll have somewhere to live. Think 10, 15 years ahead. I've never asked my GF to cover my mortgage, just expenses.

Sedona
Community Member
21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's info missing so its hard, but I think the dude is a little mad she didn't want to put him down as owner of the house.

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Nina
Community Member
21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Based on the info, NTA. It would be berserk to pay a rent that covers the whole house. If she wanted that type of rent to be paid, she should move out en become a landlord of the place. It's fair to split the cost so they both contribute evenly to the cost of living there. It's not okay to let your partner pay a rent as if they're renting the whole place without a roommate.

Donna Peluda
Community Member
20 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Carefull mate, while you are paying rent she is building equity. Even splitting the cost 50/50 is not fair because you get nothing out of it. You should move in and cover utilities and buy a place a rent it so that way when break up you'll have somewhere to live. Think 10, 15 years ahead. I've never asked my GF to cover my mortgage, just expenses.

Sedona
Community Member
21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's info missing so its hard, but I think the dude is a little mad she didn't want to put him down as owner of the house.

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