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Man Thinks Brother’s Girlfriend Is Into Him, Learns The Hard Way She Isn’t: “You Need Therapy”

Man Thinks Brother’s Girlfriend Is Into Him, Learns The Hard Way She Isn’t: “You Need Therapy”

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There’s a certain type of man women can’t stand—the kind who mistakes friendliness for flirting. And this Redditor just so happens to be that guy.

After meeting and spending time with his brother’s girlfriend, he started to catch feelings. She was smart, funny, and kind, and in his mind, way too good for his brother. But it didn’t stop there. He became convinced she was sending him signals, sure that her kindness was more than just being polite.

Despite Reddit warning him not to stir up trouble, he decided to confess his feelings anyway. What he didn’t expect, though, was for it to backfire spectacularly—becoming one of the worst decisions he’s ever made.

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    After spending time with his brother’s girlfriend, the man developed feelings and became convinced she felt the same

    However, the signals he thought he was getting were all in his head

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    Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: throwawayfriendo11

    Why do men think women are flirting with them when they’re not?

    Image credits: romeo22 / freepik (not the actual photo)

    There are several different and concerning red flags in this story, but it does bring up a frustratingly common issue—some men often mistake politeness for romantic interest. Why does this happen?

    Mons Bendixen, a psychologist from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology, explored this in a study published in Evolutionary Psychology. He identified two main theories behind the misunderstanding.

    Error-management theory suggests men evolved to overinterpret signals from women, fearing they might miss a chance to reproduce. At best, they pass on their genes; at worst, they get rejected and move on. Women, however, may have evolved to be more cautious, as misjudging interest could result in pregnancy without support or losing better opportunities.

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    Social-roles theory, on the other hand, suggests these misunderstandings stem from societal norms. In cultures with less gender equality, men are more likely to misread signals. But in more gender-equal societies, the gap narrows.

    To test this, Bendixen replicated a 2003 U.S. study on sexual misperception in Norway, a country known for its gender equality. He explained, “Norway is very sexually liberal compared to the USA. A Norwegian woman can play a more active and proactive part in the dating game than an American one without being subject to the same degree of derogation.”

    The results were striking: 88% of women reported having their friendliness mistaken for romantic interest, averaging 3.5 times in the past year. Men experienced this too, but at a lower rate of 70.6%, supporting the error-management theory.

    Unfortunately, some men still misread signals—but with self-awareness, they can learn to interpret behavior better. Or, at the very least, handle rejection with respect. Unlike OP.

    Readers unanimously called the author a creep

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    Image credits: stockking / freepik (not the actual photo)

    Against the readers’ advice, he confessed his feelings

    Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

    Image credits: throwawayfriendo11

    All they had left to say was, “We told you so”

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    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Oleksandra is an experienced copywriter from Ukraine with a master’s degree in International Communication. Having covered everything from education, finance, and marketing to art, pop culture, and memes, she now brings her storytelling skills to Bored Panda. For the past five years, she’s been living and working in Vilnius, Lithuania.

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    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Oleksandra is an experienced copywriter from Ukraine with a master’s degree in International Communication. Having covered everything from education, finance, and marketing to art, pop culture, and memes, she now brings her storytelling skills to Bored Panda. For the past five years, she’s been living and working in Vilnius, Lithuania.

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

    What do you think ?
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    POST
    Robin Roper
    Community Member
    9 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many men think women being nice to them, engaging in natural communication that could include reaching out and touching an arm, opening and closing one's eyes (as described by OP as "batting" her eyes,) you know, being a normal and decent person means they are hitting on them. OP is a super creep and has, though his delusion, ruined any chance of a relationship with his brother and this or future GF's or wife the brother may have. He needs to get in to therapy; he's delusional and not connected to reality.

    Trillian
    Community Member
    2 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This. Plus she probably thought he was safe in that way, you know being her BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER. Also it is one thing to feel attracted to someone (you can't really help that), but the way he felt entitled to her ist really off.

    Load More Replies...
    Bowtechie
    Community Member
    10 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pretty sure this was just a ragebait post, but I do appreciate the comeuppance update :)

    PeepPeep the duck
    Community Member
    6 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was silly but reminded me of my first partner when I dated, I’m a retired model now and at 17 I had a 300kg bf (not muscle) and he was considered ugly by everyone I met, which was lame. And the amount of people who would do stuff like this because “you should be with someone better looking because you’re hot” became so insulting. And it made my then bf very depressed. (But I wasn’t always pretty, I was fat and awkward and had 0friends in school was super bullied, I just got hot somehow overnight and slimmer, but I still had the same personality ).

    Load More Replies...
    DoubleDoubleTiredAndTuckered
    Community Member
    10 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. Just wow. I think OP is a little brain dead. The amount of mental hurdles one would need to go through to, A, think that his brother doesn’t deserve a girlfriend, B, his brother’s girlfriend is giving him “signs”, and C, that everything would be fine and dandy with the brother and girlfriend after ALL OF REDDIT tried to tell him just how screwed up his situation is, is insane! OP is super creepy and dumb.

    Load More Comments
    Robin Roper
    Community Member
    9 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many men think women being nice to them, engaging in natural communication that could include reaching out and touching an arm, opening and closing one's eyes (as described by OP as "batting" her eyes,) you know, being a normal and decent person means they are hitting on them. OP is a super creep and has, though his delusion, ruined any chance of a relationship with his brother and this or future GF's or wife the brother may have. He needs to get in to therapy; he's delusional and not connected to reality.

    Trillian
    Community Member
    2 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This. Plus she probably thought he was safe in that way, you know being her BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER. Also it is one thing to feel attracted to someone (you can't really help that), but the way he felt entitled to her ist really off.

    Load More Replies...
    Bowtechie
    Community Member
    10 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pretty sure this was just a ragebait post, but I do appreciate the comeuppance update :)

    PeepPeep the duck
    Community Member
    6 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was silly but reminded me of my first partner when I dated, I’m a retired model now and at 17 I had a 300kg bf (not muscle) and he was considered ugly by everyone I met, which was lame. And the amount of people who would do stuff like this because “you should be with someone better looking because you’re hot” became so insulting. And it made my then bf very depressed. (But I wasn’t always pretty, I was fat and awkward and had 0friends in school was super bullied, I just got hot somehow overnight and slimmer, but I still had the same personality ).

    Load More Replies...
    DoubleDoubleTiredAndTuckered
    Community Member
    10 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. Just wow. I think OP is a little brain dead. The amount of mental hurdles one would need to go through to, A, think that his brother doesn’t deserve a girlfriend, B, his brother’s girlfriend is giving him “signs”, and C, that everything would be fine and dandy with the brother and girlfriend after ALL OF REDDIT tried to tell him just how screwed up his situation is, is insane! OP is super creepy and dumb.

    Load More Comments
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