Going on a trip with a close friend can be the highlight of your year: sipping drinks on the beach, exploring art museums together and bonding over new, shared experiences. But planning a holiday can be stressful, especially when your co-traveler refuses to keep you updated on the details of the trip.

Below, you’ll find a story that one woman recently shared on the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit, detailing how she pulled out of a “girls trip” at the last minute after her friend revealed that she had invited someone unexpected to tag along.

This woman was thrilled to go on a girls trip with one of her childhood friends

Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)

But after finding out more details from her friend at the last minute, she decided to skip the vacation altogether

Image credits: Ivan Samkov (not the actual photo)

Image credits: spupper11

The woman later responded to a few comments and provided additional information

Traveling with friends can be a wonderful experience when done right

As someone who absolutely loves traveling in general, I think there’s nothing better than going on a trip with my loved ones. There are pros and cons to all sorts of traveling, but going on a trip with friends can be so much more fun that going all alone. You might feel more adventurous when with your pals, as you can go to a bar in the evening or an event without feeling lonely or worrying about your safety. And it’s great to be able to share things like delicious meals and beautiful sights with your loved ones. When it comes to how lovely a girls trips in particular can be, Jessica Camerata at An Indigo Day says, “A girls trip usually means two things if you ask me. On one end there’s late nights gabbing away in pjs and on the other, going out for champagne and maybe some dancing!”

Jessica recommends taking a girls trip with friends to reconnect with gals you haven’t had as much time for recently, to release stress, to check something off your bucket list, to get inspired, to take a vacation from life, and to gain confidence. “No matter when you travel, there’s always a sense of self, accomplishment and confidence that comes along with it,” she writes. “You’ve mastered a new city, you’ve gathered amazing memories and have more amazing things to chat about … And doing it alongside friends makes all of it so much easier. Plus, getting together with GOOD friends who lift one another up always helps to build my confidence. But let me tell you something, if you’re going on trips with friends who are negative, bring you down and don’t allow you to feel uplifted, GET NEW FRIENDS. Coming home from trips always gives me a little life high and there’s nothing else that can replicate that feeling.”

Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)

But the stress of traveling can sometimes damage relationships too

Of course, there is always the risk when traveling with friends or family members that your relationships will be damaged. Just like how some people choose not to live with their closest friends, as to not destroy their friendships, some people choose to avoid going on vacation with their best friends as well. Flash Pack published an article detailing why some people actually should not travel with their friends, noting that going somewhere you’ve never been before should be full of brand new experiences, including the people you meet and interact with. In fact, meeting new people can be beneficial for our mental health and performance, so it might be wise to avoid calling up your best friends when you decide to take a holiday.

There’s also the issue of having to agree on plans and coordinate with your friends. One person might be set on visiting every art museum in the city, while another person might be determined to go on a hike in the local nature. It can be tricky trying to navigate conversations about what’s important for you to see with friends, as you don’t want to step on their toes or offend them, so you may end up missing out on the attractions you were most excited about. Spending too much time with friends can always lead to running out of things to talk about as well. They’ve heard all of your old stories and jokes, and spending every waking moment together for a week can be exhausting. It’s best to quit when you’re ahead rather than getting sick of you friends through your travels.

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

And unexpectedly going on a trip with strangers can lead to safety concerns

In this particular case on Reddit, the woman was upset because her friend did not inform her that the trip would not actually be a girls trip after all, until the very last minute. But traveling with people you don’t know can not only be frustrating, it can also be a safety issue. How was this woman supposed to know that she could trust a random man who she had never met before who has suddenly taken her spot in the hotel and in their travels? It’s always important to be aware of your surroundings when going on a trip, but it’s much harder to fully enjoy the moment and the new environment when you can’t be 100% comfortable around your traveling companions. 

Not only was it inconsiderate for this woman to not inform her friend about the changes to travel plans until the last minute, it took away the opportunity for these women to bond during the trip. They’re long-time friends who likely don’t get to see each other often, due to living a few hours away from one another, so this was an exciting opportunity to spend some quality time together. Perhaps she was right for following her gut instinct to bail on the trip. After all, “Studies show that pairing gut feelings with analytical thinking helps you make better, faster, and more accurate decisions and gives you more confidence in your choices than relying on intellect alone,” Melody Wilding writes for Harvard Business Review. We would love to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comments below, pandas. Would you have skipped the trip too? Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article featuring friends whose trip did not go as planned, look no further than right here.   

Readers overwhelmingly agreed that the woman had done nothing wrong, assuring her that her friend messed up

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