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Money’s Tight, So This Guy Skips Throwing $600 On Cooking For 27 People And Potlucks It, Some Guests Get Offended
It is almost universally agreed that the holidays are all about family and friends, generosity, forgiveness, and all that is holy and good—a certain kind of cherry on top for the year that preceded it to leave it on a positive note, no matter how it went up to that point.
Incidentally, the stereotype that Thanksgiving must traditionally include a family feud does feel like it’s there by design as you get all of your negative emotions out, and then it’s all nice on the home stretch leading all the way up to the holidays. At least that’s how it happens, right?
Well, usually. There are still occasions, whether rightful or not, where people wish to end the year as if a hermit crab had pinched them on the rear. One Redditor shared how entitled some of his dinner guests were after years of hosting a holiday dinner, all at his own initiative with the Mrs., but this year he decided to change it up a bit.
More Info: Reddit
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The holidays are supposed to be a time of positivity and love and all that jazz, especially since everyone already let out their negative energy during Thanksgiving feuds
Image credits: gardener41 (not the actual photo)
Reddit user u/Clarifying-Chocolate and his wife have this tradition of hosting a holiday party each year. As he explained, it’s a soiree-type gathering for family, friends, and coworkers, of which there are usually around 20 to 25.
Up until now, the two would take care of all the food prep for all 25-something people. The financial burden also lay with them, which translated to $500 to $600 in groceries. However, as you might have guessed, the past year was not easy for anyone, and thus the holidays are no different.
But in this Redditor’s case, it continued as some of his holiday party guests were anything but happy about the idea of having to chip in when they never had to before
Image credits: Clarifying-Chocolate
To mitigate the situation, OP and his wife came up with a potluck kind of solution. They sent out invites to everyone saying that if they want to take part in this year’s festivities, they will be required to bring a dish. While a list was provided of potential dishes, folks were left with the option to prepare their own creations if they wanted to. And if they aren’t the dish-making type, no worries, you folks can just chip in with a $20 bill to offset the costs.
Seems reasonable, right? Not to everyone. This year, 27 people were invited. Of that number, 6 people questioned this decision. And by question, it looks more like a burst of entitlement, for a lack of a better word.
In light of always having to spend up to $600 of his own money, OP suggested guests bring their own dishes or $20 to offset the cost, but that led to 6 people saying no
Image credits: Clarifying-Chocolate
Image credits: Douglas Muth (no the actual photo)
After reaching out to these six people, asking why they ended up not RSVPing, they explained that expecting folks to bring dishes is selfish, inconsiderate and the like. All things considered, it seemed to OP that turning to r/AITA would only provide more perspective to the issue.
Folks mostly said NTA, but with constructive feedback on how the author of the post could’ve handled it a bit differently
And while it seemed like a no-brainer conclusion for OP based on their “quick post, just trying to get opinions” remark in the introduction, the vast majority of Redditors declared that OP is not wrong in his position. Many thought it was reasonable to ask people to chip in, especially considering that, as OP states in one of his responses, they are providing main entrees, hoping the guests will fill the gaps with appetizers and snacks. But there was a catch.
Image credits: Jim Reynolds (not the actual photo)
The only main concern commenters pointed out that might be a bit jerkish is how OP worded the invitation and the whole $20 deal, turning a potluck into some sort of rude transaction that is not necessary for a fun holiday party. In other words, the whole thing needed a little bit more polish in its execution, but nothing wrong with what is effectively a potluck.
You can check out the post right here, but don’t go just yet. Voice your opinion and verdict in the comment section below!
What do you think ?
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Nothing wrong with a pot luck dinner! That way, all the cooks can show off their favorite sides or main courses or baked goods. But, instead of charging those who don’t cook, tell them that bringing something from the bakery or deli (or something) is great too. That way you’re not shaming people who aren’t great cooks or simply don’t have the time to whip up a casserole or pie to bring.
sturmwesen 2 years ago
Our friends and us celebrate the 25 every year - we bring dessert or similar AND put some money in their piggy bank without being asked. I think either the wording was problematic or the guests. If you wont cook you can always buy drinks or a cake.
Candace Guidry 2 years ago
Yeah the $20 was a tad bit much. Asking for everyone to bring a dish is perfectly fine.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Nothing wrong with a pot luck dinner! That way, all the cooks can show off their favorite sides or main courses or baked goods. But, instead of charging those who don’t cook, tell them that bringing something from the bakery or deli (or something) is great too. That way you’re not shaming people who aren’t great cooks or simply don’t have the time to whip up a casserole or pie to bring.
sturmwesen 2 years ago
Our friends and us celebrate the 25 every year - we bring dessert or similar AND put some money in their piggy bank without being asked. I think either the wording was problematic or the guests. If you wont cook you can always buy drinks or a cake.
Candace Guidry 2 years ago
Yeah the $20 was a tad bit much. Asking for everyone to bring a dish is perfectly fine.
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