Love the question aita and everybody says yes yta and then argue with everyone in the comment section. If you cant handle the answer don't post the question.

Chili oil is not Siracha. He tried the food and wanted to add sth that would improve it to him. Taste is personal and food always changes with time. I mean come on... italians use tomatoes which are rather new to their country if you take a look at the last thousand years. Let people eat what they want.

YTA. Nobody stands between me and my sriracha. Chili oil isn't even an appropriate substitute for a hot sauce - you want your food spicier, not greasier.

Lol. OPs a f*****g tool. Fair enough the guy could have just asked for the hot sauce without suggesting it's "missing something" (if he did in fact even say that). But OP has an overinflated ego and needs a good verbal slap. I'm of Scottish ancestry but I don't force people to eat haggis. And if I did cook it and someone asked for some whatever sauce I'd be like, have at it. And that comment about mayo on vindaloo... Guilty lol.

I'd said ESH until he started the replies. He's an AH that makes 'food culture ' into an affair that's much bigger than it is while most likely never having eaten the truly authentic thing in Italy himself. You can't cook a truly authentic meal out of the country for one simple reason: you can't get the fresh ingredients! As someone who travelled in her youth, it's not just how you cook the dish and which ingredients you use, the ingredients itself taste vastly different depending where they've been grown. Even meat tastes vastly different depending on the breed of the cattle, what it was fed and the climate it was raised in as well as the way it was butchered. And don't even get me started on fruit, flour and eggs. So this whole 'food culture' shebang is nothing but pretentious nonsense. Let people eat their food as they want it. And the way he replied insisting on his way or the highway tells me he might have driven that guy to the extreme measures he has taken to fight this idiot.

I'm Italian. I wouldn't mind in the slightest.

This honestly just sounds like they are in competition, the brother and boyfriend, though means of cooking. I don't think it has anything to do with hotsauce or Italian cuisine at all.

kind of a silly reason to post an aita imo

The guy asked if he was TA and then argued with everyone about it. Gross. What an a**e. Plus- what was the other guy to do?? He was being forced to eat something he didn’t want to eat. I’d leave too.

If i was that said sister’s boyfriend and someone forbade me from putting hot sauce on my food (i hate bland food), i’d use the opportunity to go for a walk too if i’m honest, just to prevent myself from kicking off

OP sounds like he just wants to show off his cooking skills rather than making his guests enjoy the food. YTA.

I think they're all a******s and deserve each other. So many issues on all sides. I have a meal prep business and cook for friends and coworkers often. Idc what they add to their food. I mix cuisines all the time myself...they're called mashups and how do you think new genres are created? I have no less than 7 hot sauces by my stove and, yes, I add Louisiana Hot Sauce or Sriracha to every pasta dish I eat because it just tastes better. I say they're ALL a******s and deserve each other.

If I were a boyfriend of three months, I would have politely asked for hot sauce, accepted what was offered to me, and if the food was still "missing something" (which is rude to say out loud), eat what you can and complain on the ride home. Missing dinner to buy your own hot sauce for the appetizers is a weird power play. He's a bad guest. The OP is also a bad host. Someone wants Sirracha after you offer chilli flakes--provide it. It's not like he wanted to season everyone's food. This sounds more like some kind of territorial contest.

Honestly this is just a bizarre control freak s**t show scene. Why someone would care what someone else add’s to their own food is beyond me. If he doesn’t want to eat it as is then that’s his loss. All you can do is put in the effort and appreciate the people that appreciate it and let the ones who don’t miss out. You can’t force someone to appreciate art just cause you dragged them to a museum. 🤷🏼‍♀️

"I take my food very seriously" and I'm already like YTA, and a pretentious gatekeeping one.

What an AH!!! He thinks his food is wonderful….maybe it is, but his Guest wanted more spice. Who cares!!!! Good Lord is this man’s identity tied up in his “cultural “ food ?? Grow up and get a life. The childish overreaction by the 22 yr old was bad enough but geez, this man is 35!!! Just hand him the bottle. Apparently the guest tried the food and thought it needed something. I like more salt than a lot if people, I guess I would have offended him too if I asked for the salt shaker!

On the topic of not mixing cuisines: if you want to cook really (and I mean really) authentic Italian cuisine you might want to avoid all of this last millenia tomato nonsense and try some ancient roman recipes. Unfortunately quite a lot of them use garum which was a Roman sauce that is no longer available. You are in luck however since it can be replaced with a modern day closest approximation - fish sauce. Asian fish sauce. So, in order to cook authentic Italian cuisine (tm) you need Asian cuisine. Sarcasm and hyperbole obviously but all technically true)))

I was living with a woman several years ago. I spent a whole day preparing a Thanksgiving feast with turkey and all the fixings. Her mother was coming for dinner and I was meeting her for the first time. I right away noticed that she was a very strange and negative person. I did my best to keep quiet and not get into any conflicts with her. When we finally sat down for dinner she loaded up her plate with everything and kept complimenting me on how everything looked and smelled. Just as we were about to dig in, she got up and went to the fridge and pulled out a large jar of dill pickles. She took the lid off and poured about 4-6 ounces of juice all over her meal. So much that all her food was floating. I was totally grossed out and insulted. BUT...l didn't say anything. I just never invited her for dinner again.

Yep. Let the man enjoy his meal the way he wants.

I keep ground up Carolina Reaper in a key ring i have.. maybe bf should do that too, as the host seems like a policing jerk. Its JUST carbonara... Its not a wagyu steak that he ask d you to prepare well done.. 😅 get over yourself

OP sounds like a food snob, and they're always TA.

Most food is a mixture of different cuisines. Most of the really good stuff in the world is a mixture of different people's stuff coming together.

Just going to throw this out there. That sticker mule hot sauce they show at the top is banging!

This dude is such a c*nt. Like seriously. His whining and defensive b*tching just makes him look more like an AH. Arrogance is a disease y'all.

The brother is placing a higher priority on the food than the gathering of family. Performative acts of being "authentically Italian" in front of grandma are clearly more important to him than welcoming the boyfriend into the family and helping him feel welcome. Absolutely pathetic given that he's 10 years older yet acting with the maturity of an overly competitive 16-year-old. You can even see in his responses to comments that he's incapable of seeing past his own ego.

Yes ur the A hole.. I love hot sauce and use many different kinds including Italian hot sauce. I would just get up and leave if u didnt let me put it on my food. It enhances the flavor. I dont tell others what they can eat.

OP sounds insufferable. And don't ask questions whose answer you can't accept.

That's almost the dumbest thing I've ever heard. The entire idea of cooking and serving a meal in this manner is to spend time with friends/family and the sharing of food is supposed to be a gesture of love. You don't just invite people to dinner to show off your cooking skills, but also bc you want them to enjoy themselves. The meal is a gift. You don't give someone a gift with the expectation that they will only use it exactly how you believe they should. You give it to them in the hopes that they will enjoy it. Period. If they chose to put hot sauce on their gift, that's not your business nor is it your place to tell them they can't do that. The "condiment police" is not a thing and you haven't been called to uphold the sanctity of carbonara and the cultural accuracy of its consumption. It's managed to survive this long without your intervention. Besides, fusion restaurants are popular for a reason... sometimes mixing things that aren't traditionally eaten together can be delicious.

This I don't consider rude. He was adding stuff to his own plate. Saying it's missing something isn't rude either? It's personal preference? I'm told that sometimes with my dishes and I just shrug it off because it is personal preference. He didn't say "this sucks and I'm not eating it," he was just voicing his own want. And as for food "sacrilege," you can try arguing that us mixing meats, spices, liquids, and other things together is sacrilege from what we did when we first started cooking anything. The whole thing about melding of cultures and everyone coming together is to mix food tastes. Not to the whole pot, but let people do what they want to it. This guy took this way too personally.

I feel the sister's bf, honestly. If someone was so insistent on their ways that they'd seriously prefer I go buy my own hot sauce than god forbid put some on the dish I'm going to eat I'd go buy my own too. At this point he probably wasn't even thinking about politeness anymore, he must just have been hella angry. Also, if your familiarity with your own culture is so weak that you have to adhere to tradition to that point, you are no different from a cliché valley girl saying she's 5% italian. Culture permeates through your way of living. You do not need effort, and you certainly don't need others to make efforts for you to "feel" italian.

Sriracha and Italian food are a beautiful pairing. It pairs with red based sauces, white cream based sauces. It is quite a lovely flavor combo. The cook may want to try it sometime to broaden their horizons. A black and white world is so rigid and boring.

Guy is a piece of work, I would skip those dinners entirely. Any time I host people, I give them whatever makes them happy, feel welcome and cared for. If they want to put Tabasco on my lemon cake, go for it if that what makes you happy. Not for me to judge. Yes I put a lot of time and effort into the food, but it's the company of the people I invited to dine with is far more valuable than a dish where someone wants to add some hot sauce. Time with ones family and friends is the real reason to get together, food is secondary. At least that's how I see it.

Both suck for me. Italians are known to be the biggest gatekeepers of their food, but the siracha dude doesn't respect that, and start a fight with his girlfriend's family. That's a red flag. If i dine in italian family's house and the food they're so proud of turns out suck, I'll just eat it silently and curse on the way home. There's no need to start a fight with your gf's family.