When you are growing up, it can be pretty easy to forget that, in reality, most families are not alike and your circumstances can be massively different depending on all sorts of factors. Unfortunately, if this bubble doesn't burst early, people end up making some embarrassing realizations, or, worse, statements later in life.
Someone asked “People who grew up rich, when did you realize you were living in a bubble and not like everyone else?” and netizens shared their personal experiences. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to add your own thoughts and stories in the comments below.
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Rich is relative. I grew up in a trailer park, so definitely not well off. Made a new friend one day and invited him over for dinner.
Kid was blown away by the size of the hamburgers we were eating. And you could have another one if you wanted. Just typical 1/3lb or so patties.
We were poor, but they were "rationing serving sizes" poor. We had HVAC, they didn't even have window units. We didn't have holes in our floors/ceilings, it rained inside and out at their place.
Edit: Thank you all for the replies. This sort of blew up while I was finishing up my day.
That kid was always welcome at our house, as was the next neighbor kid that moved into the same place a couple years later and any other friends I made. Stay for dinner or stay the night. My folks were good people, and presumably far more aware than I was at the time of how different our little life was compared to that of our neighbors. And that's really the thing... it wasn't like we lived in a better part of town, went to different schools or anything like that. The difference *was* my parents. I had two of them, and the both pulled 40+ hour weeks. That was it. They could afford to buy a new trailer and just rent the lot. They paid for daycare in the summer so they could put in the hours. My friends had stay-at-home moms or single parent homes, not bad people (save for a few), just spread too thin. We had two reliable cars, they were lucky to have one that ran. We were "poor" due to the cost of living... they were Poor due to the cost of *life*.
I'm thankful for the experience. I never thought of life as being hard growing up. I was always surrounded by those who had it harder, and they were always welcome in our home.
This isn’t a great response because I didn’t grow up rich, but rather very poor. I feel like I should share though. I met my first best friend in grade six, when she brought me to her home I was flabbergasted. They had a vacuum that plugged into their walls, they could even vacuum downstairs with it. She had a trampoline and Xbox- I begged each time to play with both. She had a small alcove with a mini fridge that was full with ICE pop and different sodas, that was cool. I remember thinking I should take more than one because I wouldn’t get another chance. When they invited me over for dinner her mom always made me take extra because I was nervous to ask for seconds. I couldn’t believe the amount of food in the house, and we all would have a huge glass of milk with dinner. Milk was always a treat and being able to drink as much as I wanted was so overwhelming. I just remember being astounded by everything- and three years later they adopted me.
I'm not super rich, but things really hit home when I was with a friend and his mother started to panic because she couldn't afford milk for her toddler son (my friends little brother). I was just walking around with $40 in my pocket for no real reason so I gave her $20. She was embarrassed to be taking money from a 13 year old, but swallowed her pride for the sake of her children.
I knew my friend wasn't as well off, but it never fully hit me what that meant before then. To me, being poor just meant someone couldn't afford nice things. What it meant to struggle with basic necessities like milk never really struck me before then.
Not rich - but in high school, there was this one kid who wore the same shoes from sophomore to senior year. I kept telling him to buy a new pair, but he would claim that they were broken in and he didn't want to waste money on uncomfortable ones.
I decided to do that thing where the class would surprise him with a new pair of Vans for his birthday. But when I asked our classmates to chip in, they all said they didn't have any money to spare. That didn't make sense because most of them had after-school jobs - that's when I found out I was the only kid in class who wasn't working to help support their own family.
EDIT: I ended up getting him the shoes on my own.
I was 8 or 9 and we were on a family trip for one of my sisters tournaments. We were driving through a somewhat run down neighborhood of multi family homes and trash in the streets. I remember distinctly my sister and her friend saying how gross everything was and laughing about it. My dad, the sweetest most soft spoken mid western country boy ever, piped up and almost yelled “Hey! This is how most people live. You need to understand what you have!” Everyone in the car just sat there in silence and he drove on. We grew up upper middle class. I am a pediatric dentist now and will always accept Medicaid largely because of this moment when I was a kid.
When I started talking in school about the pros and cons of Disney World vs Disney Land, and people were like "YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION?! LUCKYY".
When my dad bought me a house to live in rent free, no mortgage. And realising that most people dont holiday in the algarve twice a year.
My house is now a hostel/safe space for anyone I'm friends with/close to who needs a place to stay.
Conversely, I remember a summer where me and my mom lived in a car and I thought it was the coolest thing.
Turns out we were just homeless.
Meanwhile in university there was a guy who didn’t understand why we didn’t all have our own condos right by the school. He also never understood why we didn’t have money to go to Mexico on reading break and would just tell us to ask for a bigger allowance from our trust.
He learnt to just stop talking after someone fed him a left hook when he made a comment about how stupid we are for taking out student loans and not just paying tuition upfront.
A bit off topic but OP thinking how cool it was to live in the car, a close friend told me about his dad taking him on a spontaneous road trip when he was young and how awesome it was, turns out he'd been kidnapped from his mum's custody and driven to the north of the country, 3000km away. Far out.
When I realized Americans don’t have health care coverage through taxes. I was like “bling bling I’m rich b***h”.
The first time I went to my best friend's house. His circumstances were the exact opposite. His parents tried their best, but his dad often didn't have much work during the winter, and his mom didn't work outside of the home. They had 6 kids, and usually had things like pancakes for dinner. I'm in an upper class part of DC, with every toy and electronic imaginable, and he had none. It was a good lesson for me to learn, but it was a shame that it was at the expense of a person I loved so very much.
Two times come to mind. I didn't grow up stupid rich but definitely well off. My grandpa is a successful doctor and was able to build his "empire" and live a very good life. As I've gotten older and things have changed my lifestyle has certainly shifted towards myself being more self reliant. I was dating this girl and we drove past my grandpas giant house he used to own (still in the family but he's moved) and she asks me to slow down. She was in love with this house and told me she'd always dreamed of living there as a kid and her parents telling her she'd never be able to live in a house like that.
Another time was when my best friend tripped into the whole "I f*****g love you guys" rant one time when he was drunk. He slowly worked his way through our friend group talking about why we were important to him and when he got to me he mentioned how when we were younger he'd try to not be home around dinner time so that his mom wouldn't have to worry about feeding both him and his sister and that my family and I always took care of him and made him feel at home. This is something that never crossed my mind in the 20 something years we've been friends from him practically living at my home for an entire summer or the weeks he'd stay over during the school years when we were in high school. I never gave it any second thought and just wanted my friend to be around whenever he could be.
Contrast that with having to ask your friend who was hanging around everyday to leave because your parents told you they cant afford to feed them every night and they didn't have a clue they needed to leave just assumed we could feed them
In terms of raw cash flow, my parents were never rich, they were just teachers. However, they were international teachers so I got to see and do things many people have on their bucket list by the time I was 18. I definitely had a very privileged upbringing, if not a rich one. I was kinda aware of it, but it never really hit home till my first year living back in the States, where people just... didn't know about so much of the world.
I wouldn't call my family rich by US standards, but upper middle class, so rich by world population standards. My dad grew up super poor though, so he made sure we understood how lucky we were. But to be honest I didn't REALLY understand until my teenage years when he took me to Costa Rica to visit where my older brother had lived for a couple years. We didn't go to the beach or touristy spots, and I got a much better idea of what poverty can look like. It made me really appreciate the luck I had being born into the family I was born into. I try to keep it in mind as I go through life, and hope my kids learn not to take their luck for granted either. It's a pet peeve of mine when people are born into wealth and act like their own wealth is 100% from their hard work. Sure they may work hard, but never discount how much easier they had it than others born into poverty. I worked to pay for my undergraduate degree, but if I hadn't been able to one semester, my parents could have bailed me out. I don't know if they would have, but knowing they could have made it substantially less stressful.
My daughter always knows that if she or the grandkids are in trouble, The Bank of Dad will always be her backstop.
I grew up middle-class. When I was in 5th grade I spent the night with a girlfriend. In the morning I remember asking what was for breakfast, and I remember seeing my friends face. I then realized the kitchen was literally empty. The dad came in and gave us a small package of those small white donuts from the gas station- 4 in the package. I felt so embarrassed that I asked. We had a great day hanging out, but I learned what poverty was that day.
The first time I met other kids who didn't have domestic household staff. I remember not understanding why they didn't have people to maintain their household.
Conversely, I went to a friend's house that had a housekeeper. I was in my 20s but it was my first time encountering domestic staff. I remember being intensely uncomfortable that she wanted to wait on me, bring me seconds, and clear my plate. I actually offended the poor woman when I told her I could do it myself.
I did not grow up rich. But my husband did.
His sister once said "I didn't know everyone didn't live in big houses until I went off to college." Apparently she led a VERY sheltered life.
I imagine that's due to television as much as anything. Even " poor" families have big and comparatively fancy houses. Oh, and nice clothes! Even the "scruffy" clothing hangs and drapes nicely.
I was talking to a friend about going to the town's public beach and they were saying how horribly crowded it gets in summer, and I suddenly realized (I was well into my 20s) that I had never had to go to a public beach because I always had at least two private family beaches to go to, one with cabanas, outdoor showers and space for cooking. I always had taken it for granted.
So this happened young. My dad worked in IT. International company, bunch of business trips to like every major country in the world and every major developing country.
He got fired/company filed for bankruptcy.
This happened whilst I was 8. Suddenly the only income we had was from my mum, working in the public sector for the state, helping mentally ill people. We went from expensive toys, Nutella for breakfast and expensive lunch items to buying birthday presents at basically dollar stores and hoping for hand me downs so that I could get clothes that fit me. Whenever we had a school trip, we had to save up 2 years in advance and ask relatives for help paying for those school trips, maybe not see relatives that lived far away for birthdays and other important things.
My dad only got a job after 9 years of looking.
My teen years consisted of hand me down clothes, worrying about social events and lunch. I still haven't grown out of the mentality despite my dad having a well paying job now. It's crazy what the 2008 crisis did.
Edit: I also realise that my comment is affected by me not having things I loved available, which is why I mentioned food and toys. We also lost a things my parents cared about, house, car etc, but I didn't care about that. I cared about not being able to get baby bell cheese with me for lunch, so.
Also, I live in Denmark, so some of these things might not seem expensive to Americans, but they're luxury in Denmark and usually not affordable to working class. Just to put things into perspective.
I remember as a kid having nothing in the fridge and nada in the Kitchen to eat. Doorbell rang and opened it, no one was there but a bag of groceries someone left for us. That was the moment I realized we were poor. Not rich story, but it hit me regardless.
More upper-middle class. Since I started using Reddit, especially reading askreddit posts, I've been realising more and more every day how fortunate I am.
Most people who think that they're "upper middle class" are actually wealthy. Upper Middle class" means in the top 40th to top 20th income percentile, which is a family income of roughly $100,000 to $170,000 a year for a family of four. Most people who believe that they're "upper middle class" are from families that make $250,000-$400,000 a year (top 20% to top 5%). A family that has two SUVs or full-size sedans that are less than 5 years old, a home worth more than $500,000, family vacations that require air travel, summer experiences that are paid for, etc, are wealthy, not "upper middle class".
I grew up upper middle class. Not private jet rich, but definitely was able to enjoy life's luxuries (nice vacations, newer products, etc.).
Honestly? I think it was the small things that were a lot bigger for other people. I never really cared much about the price of a meal. I simply ordered based on whatever sounded the best. Add on some sides? Sure, why not!
Same thing with driving. I always volunteered to be the driver on long trips because I never really thought much about swiping my card for gas. Just fill up and go, no need to check my account.
I definitely realized in college that a lot of people didn't have that privilege.
And still people will try to tell us money doesn't buy happiness. It certainly eliminates worry and that's close enough for me.
I was about 12, I think. When friends would come over they would go on and on about how big the house was and how I had more games and computers and s**t than them (they especially seemed freaked out about the maid) and I just started to realize that I didn’t have the same circumstances as most. They wouldn’t all say it if it weren’t true, I assume. I did have other friends with money, especially when I started attending private school, but I didn’t realize they were well off either.
My uncle was in a famous rock band. We didn't have a ton growing up, but whenever I went to my uncle's it was always super fun with all the toys and snacks he'd get me. He wasn't crazy with his money (his favorite restaurant was the waffle house) but his home was on the beach, nice cars, etc. so I recognized the wealth. It wasn't until I was like 8 years old that I realized not everyone was related to a celebrity.
He died a couple years ago and my heart still hurts.
I grew up in an extremely privileged family (multimillion dollar house, country club, multiple cars, etc.). There were a few times I can think of where I realized just how unique my upbringing was.
First and foremost, before my father started his business, he grew up extremely poor as one of six children in a one bedroom house. From a very early age, he always taught my brother and I just how good we had it compared to what he had as a child. This helped broaden my perspective, but because we lived in a very affluent area, it was difficult to actually see until I moved away.
I attended a small college in a rural area, and to be honest, I had a massive culture shock. Most of the people I met were struggling to survive on student loans, working multiple jobs, and had little to no financial help from their families as they tried to get through school. I had never been around so many people going through financial hardship and it really made me appreciate how lucky I was to grow up in an affluent household. Aside from realizing how lucky I was, I also had a strong feeling of guilt, especially because in addition to being more than able to pay for school, I was on a full ride scholarship for athletics. I couldn’t stop thinking about how hard many of my friends were trying just to make ends meet, and how unfair it was. From that point on, I always try to be considerate of those who are less fortunate, and help them in anyway I can. The people I met at college are still some of my best friends to this day and without a doubt the nicest individuals I have ever met in my life. I’m grateful for the lessons they taught me including, that while money may be a facilitator of happiness, it does not automatically lead to a happy life.
TLDR: Went to college and met amazing people less fortunate than myself. Got exposed to many new perspectives and life lessons.
I could have written this myself almost word for word. A lot of the people who I grew up with got culture shocks when we went away to college. Best thing that could have happened to me.
When I went to college and had friends who were complaining about student loans.
My privileged self just assumed everyone's parents were 1) willing and 2) able to pay for college. Luckily, I had a good poker face when I met my roommate--who was up to her neck in student loans and had 2 part time jobs. Pretty sure she would have decked me if I'd asked "what do you mean you have to pay your way?"
Reading ask reddit threads where people talk about the things they ate or went without as a kid.
It was always foreign to me that Ramen was an actual meal for some people and not just a quick unhealthy snack.
Ohh La La! Ramen with hotdogs! That's extra fancy, unlike us poors with just ramen!
I have a family member that grew up with a private jet. The first time she flew commercial she turned to her family and asked “who are all these people on our plane.” On flying- I’m no way rich but I was reading that the majority of the worlds population, over 90% didn’t take one flight last year. I’m not sure if that’s true, I’ll look for the post, but that hit me pretty hard how fortunate I am to fly to see family sometimes.
Wasn’t rich per say, but my step dad was a OBGYN and made tons of money from it so I came from a very wealthy family but I realized I was living in a bubble the day I moved out and went to college when I was 18. My buddy and I got an apartment and I got my first job to help pay for it. I soon realized what it’s like to be living paycheck to paycheck and that not everyone has just excessive amounts of cash they can throw around lol.
I love how the lead with wasn't rich per se, but, made tons of money and came from a very wealthy family...so which is it?
Grad school.
I wasn't really even aware of how wealthy my dad was until recently, but he did a pretty good job of raising me with a middle class outlook. My high school ran from pretty poor to upper middle class, so I never stood out. College, I lived pretty normally, and I was on a major scholarship, so loans weren't an issue anyway.
When I started my PhD program and he bought a f*****g house for me to live in, it was an eye opener.
The other people in my program are generally renting, sharing a place with other grad students, and trying to get by on a stipend that means they can scrape by if they're frugal. I don't have any expenses for housing and own my car outright, and that means my stipend feels pretty damn generous.
I have a rich friend and he "found out he was rich" when I asked him why he buys a new car like every two months (slightly exaggerated).
Him: Engine light was on.
Me: And they couldn't fix it?
Him: Fix it? I thought that meant it's broken. I just got a new one.
I had to explain to him that normally, people get their car checked out first when something's wrong and only buy a new one when the repair costs more than the car.
When, compared to other people in my class and country, I'm not as rich as them. Compared to other people in the world, I realize I'm very rich. I always have food in my table, I have a home and health services when I need them. I always felt jealous when I was younger because my friends always had stuff that I couldn't have. Now, I realize how lucky I am.
That's me. I'm not rich. Low income job, living from pay to pay, overbudgeting expenses incase one bill is higher than expected. But by world standards I am, I have a home, bought it when I turned 50, so I'll pay it off by my 80th birthday.....renting costs more than buying where i am.Three meals a day, able to see a doctor when needed. Have electricity water gas...can't afford to use the heater in winter though. But a statistic I heard 15 years ago always stayed with me. Only 3¹percent of the world's population have access to a car, only 2 percent own one. I'm in the 3 percent, a friend is letting me use a car they weren't....35 years old, but it gets me from A-B, and back home. I'm wealthy buy world standards...blessed.
When I stopped being well off. We were upper middle class and had a very very large nice house in a fancy part of town. Had a pool and all that. We took regular trips to Cancun or Jamaica etc. I had every toy I ever asked for for the most part and nice clothes. I was very spoiled as an only child.
My parents divorced and their money got split in half and so we no longer had the money to live in that neighborhood or have a house that big or fancy. My mom could not afford to buy me designer or name brand clothing anymore. Money got tighter.
I started getting made fun of by my former friends for not having nice clothes or things or living near them. Former friends dumped me. Turned me from Regina George into a loser I guess.
It was a hard fall.
Reading most of the comments made me feel poorer.
Reading most of these made feel more wealthy, and more grateful. Not only can I afford to put ground beef in my hamburger helper now, I'm so well off I can choose to never ever eat it again. One of many small blessings.
I didn’t understand that not everyone had a parent that was a doctor - because I had two.
While at Stanford I lived in the African-American theme house (dorm). We would watch the Cosby show in the lounge and several of the residents would argue that the Huxtables WERE a typical black family because THEIR parents were doctors and lawyers.
I learnt at 21 that people have water metres, some people actually put money into the side of the box and get water and electricity like pay as you go.
I'm not rich by any means, but I realised how privileged I was that day and I haven't taken anything for granted since. 👍🏻.
More upper-middle-class than "rich" but we've always been quite comfortable.
I really respect that my parents always made it *very* clear that we were incredibly lucky and that a lot of hardworking people out there don't always have much to show for it. One of my first childhood friends was from a pretty crappy part of town and had a single mom with 3 jobs.
I didn't appreciate it at the time (this was kindergarten-ish) but I eventually realized just how different our lives were. It must have freaked my folks out to have me going over to his house in the hood during the crack epidemic but they felt strongly that I understand how differently people's reality can be and that effort has little to do with it. It makes me sad now but it was an important lesson.
I wish I hadn't lost contact with him, I'd like to know how he is.
It blows my mind that some of these say "not rich, but upper middle class." To me, that's rich. I didn't grow up in "no food in the fridge" poverty, but we were toeing the line pretty closely. I'm now a single mom of 2 and although my job pays several dollars over minimum wage in my area, if it wasn't for Medicaid and SNAP, my kids and I would definitely be at that level.
It’s embarrassing looking back but I was in sixth grade. A girl in my class had a shattered screen on her phone. I asked her why she didn’t just upgrade it to the latest iPhone. She explained that she didn’t have money. I asked why she didn’t ask her parents to help. She explained they didn’t have money to buy her a new one. I reached into my pocket, handed her 25$ and bought her an ice cream from the cafeteria. Her jaw dropped and asked why I was being so generous. I was confused and said “it’s only one week of allowance”. They whole class was staring at me, stunned. It was that day I learned most kids don’t grow up with their parents 170K annual jobs.
Define "Growing up rich". My dad didn't start making real money until I was at least 10 or 11. We were comfortably middle class before that.
I guess it started when we moved to a new city and people in my school would openly ask/tease me about being rich. I think the first thing I started noticing was that we took a big annual family vacation, usually on a plane, while many of my friends have never flown before.
I know some people like this where they think they are out of the bubble, but never ate ramen noodles for three months to survive.
I don’t think they will ever realize what it’s like to live without a blanket of financial security.
I lived off ramen and celery with cheese whiz all the way through university because it was the cheapest, fastest, "balanced" diet I could find. When you can get ramen 5 for $1, a bunch of celery for a buck or two and cheese whiz for a few dollars more, it can feed you for a week. I couldn't afford meat or fruit and was too embarrassed to tell anyone why I ate the way I did. I was just that weirdo who ate the same thing all the time. But I was lucky enough to have a friend whose Mum seemed to know what was going on. Every time I went there for dinner she sent me home with a huge bag of leftovers. I'm still grateful Mrs. Singleton.
When I started learning about globalization. People living in poverty in the US are still rich when compared to other countries throughout the world. If that’s not a bubble, I don’t know what is.
That is true but when you live in so-called developed world things are so much more expensive so it is still harder for people to live. I would be rich compared to a underdeveloped world but I am doing OK here in the US.
I grew up in a town where everyone looked like me (white, two parents, upper middle class). When I was 12 or 13 my parents put me in a different, more diverse school. Years later, Mom told me she and Dad made that choice because my little friends and I were starting to sound like racist a******s and my folks realized they needed to expand my horizons ASAP.
I knew a guy who thought he wasn't rich because the other mansions in his neighborhood had stables for their horses but his didn't.
My grandfather was a commercial airline pilot and owned his own plane. It wasn't a private jet, instead a twin-engine propeller aircraft called a Cessna Super Skymaster. He used to take me up in it on weekends, and would take my friends too if they came to visit with me. This was my normal. I didn't realize how expensive a hobby this was or that other people's grandparents didn't also own airplanes. I was a rather sheltered child.
I don't consider myself rich. But I'm able to live comfortably in retirement and still plan on my daughter having an inheritance over seven figures. Sometimes it's just enough to be plain lucky!
I grew up in a town where everyone looked like me (white, two parents, upper middle class). When I was 12 or 13 my parents put me in a different, more diverse school. Years later, Mom told me she and Dad made that choice because my little friends and I were starting to sound like racist a******s and my folks realized they needed to expand my horizons ASAP.
I knew a guy who thought he wasn't rich because the other mansions in his neighborhood had stables for their horses but his didn't.
My grandfather was a commercial airline pilot and owned his own plane. It wasn't a private jet, instead a twin-engine propeller aircraft called a Cessna Super Skymaster. He used to take me up in it on weekends, and would take my friends too if they came to visit with me. This was my normal. I didn't realize how expensive a hobby this was or that other people's grandparents didn't also own airplanes. I was a rather sheltered child.
I don't consider myself rich. But I'm able to live comfortably in retirement and still plan on my daughter having an inheritance over seven figures. Sometimes it's just enough to be plain lucky!