Eating disorders may not be something you often think of as common, but according to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (or ANAD), they affect at least 9% of the population worldwide. They are also extremely dangerous, as they are one of the deadliest mental illnesses, second only to opioid overdose. But eating disorders and the people who have them come in all shapes and sizes. No group of people is immune to developing them, and they should always be taken seriously, regardless of a person’s age, weight or gender.

One soon-to-be groom recently shared on Reddit that he made the decision not to invite his brother to his wedding because he was concerned that his eating disorder, pica, would cause a disturbance. Below, you’ll find the full story explaining why this groom doesn’t want his brother attending, the drama it has caused with his parents and some of the comments that concerned readers have left on his post. Keep reading to also find an interview with Anthony Freire, MA, LMHC, NCC, CCMHC, Clinical Director and Board Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor of The Soho Center for Mental Health Counseling.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments as well, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article highlighting how eating disorders can affect anyone and everyone, look no further than right here. 

This groom has decided not to invite his brother to his wedding because his eating disorder may cause a disturbance

Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Almada Studio (not the actual photo)

Image credits: L’amourART (not the actual photo)

Image credits: thowawaynoawaythrow2

As the groom explained in his post, pica is an eating disorder “that involves eating items that are not typically thought of as food and that do not contain significant nutritional value, such as hair, dirt, and paint chips”. But this particular eating disorder is not very commonly talked about, so we wanted to reach out to an expert on the topic to gain insight into the individuals struggling with pica. We reached out to Anthony Freire, MA, LMHC, NCC, CCMHC, Clinical Director, Board Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor and founder of The Soho Center for Mental Health Counseling in New York.

When it comes to how common pica is, Anthony told Bored Panda that it is extremely rare for people to develop it as adults. “It’s hard to estimate its prevalence since many children put things in their mouths and eat them without us even being aware because they’re unsupervised many times,” he added. “If the child is old enough, they may understand it’s not ‘normal’ and hide their desire to eat inedible objects from their families. But it’s estimated that 10% to as high as 30% of children suffer from pica. Adult onset pica is even more rare. It is, however, associated with developmental delays. And there is increasingly available data that suggests it is a form of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).”

Anthony also explained that it would not necessarily be dangerous for this brother to attend the wedding, with all of the possible decorations he might eat, but it’s never healthy to be consuming inedible objects. “And any object eaten that is not edible can be dangerous to your digestive tract,” he told Bored Panda. But if you or a loved one are struggling with pica, don’t hesitate to seek help. Anthony explained that treatment with a psychotherapist, preferably one that deals with OCD and developmental issues, or with a pica specialist would be extremely helpful. “Constant supervision during an event, or wedding, would limit the possibility of anything being ingested. But that’s obviously a temporary fix for something like attending a wedding,” he added.

“While it can be extremely frustrating and anxiety producing for loved ones to have to deal with someone who has pica, my advice to be to dig deep and tap into their compassion,” Anthony says. “If given the choice, people would not choose to have pica. It is extremely stressful to them as well. Also, getting into their own therapy to deal with their emotions would also be helpful, not only for themselves but their loved one who has pica.”

Anthony also noted that in this particular situation on Reddit, the groom might be upset about more than just the pica. “Pica may just be a good reason for him to use not to invite his brother to the wedding or make his parents feel some sort of way. Plenty of people with pica have attended weddings. I would say rather than not invite his brother to the wedding, he should spend some time in family therapy trying to resolve some of these issues. If his parents want their other son to be at the wedding, rather than suggest changes to the wedding décor, they could offer to provide round the clock supervision during the wedding so that he doesn’t eat the bride’s bouquet!”

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At the end of the day, this groom and his bride deserve to have the wedding of their dreams and be free of any worries that someone may be eating the decorations or the soil in the plant pots. Weddings are joyous occasions, and it is unfortunate that the entire family cannot be there to celebrate. Hopefully, the brother will agree to seek treatment, or the entire family will agree to begin therapy, and they can all attend the next family event without any issues.

Let us know what you think about this situation in the comments below. Do you have any experience with pica yourself or helping a loved one handle it? Feel free to share your thoughts with your fellow pandas, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article about eating disorder awareness, you can find that right here. And if you would like to learn more about Anthony Freire or The Soho Center for Mental Health Counseling, be sure to visit their website right here.

Many readers expressed their sympathy for the groom, with some even sharing their personal experiences with pica

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