Aunt Becomes Defensive And Nasty After Niece Confronts Her Over Stealing Late Mom’s Family Silver
Inheritance is a touchy subject and can sometimes cause conflicts between even the closest family members. Somehow, the division of money, property, and other assets seems to just bring out the worst in people.
That’s what one woman found out after an aunt that she really liked went behind her back and pilfered her late mom’s silver collection. This led to lots of hurt and confusion, as well as the loss of a really valued relationship between them.
More info: Mumsnet
Sometimes, people care more about their inheritance than preserving the precious connections they have with loved ones
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that her mom passed away 10 years ago, but before that, she had inherited her parents’ wedding silver, which her children then used during events
Image credits: Eugenia Remark / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author’s aunt, whom she had a good relationship with, seemed to have her eye on the silver collection and mentioned quite a few times that it belonged to her
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One day, the woman found out that her aunt had sneakily taken the wedding silver, and when she was confronted about it, she started getting defensive and nasty
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author felt extremely betrayed and heartbroken by her aunt’s actions, but eventually, she decided to let the woman have the silver collection
Image credits: Pixabay / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Even though the aunt had previously been extremely kind and helpful, her sneaky actions showed what kind of person she actually was
Image credits: Noihin
The aunt’s greediness caused a huge rift between her and her niece, and that loss of trust would probably not be easy to get back
The poster explained that after her grandparents passed away, their belongings were divided among their five children. The OP’s mom received their wedding silver which her kids then used at events. It was something that the family found a lot of joy in using and it became a sort of tradition for them.
Unfortunately, not everyone was happy with this arrangement and the poster’s aunt kept trying to get the silver collection for herself. She didn’t respect her nieces and nephews wish to have it for themselves. Somehow she felt that it was owed to her.
Although it might seem like this kind of demand stems from greed, estate planning experts say that it might actually be coming from people looking to feel loved and important. When family members fight over assets, it doesn’t always have to be about the money. Sometimes, it’s about what those possessions symbolize, like a sense of connection, love, and memories.
Unfortunately, even if the other person has the best intentions behind their actions, studies show that nearly 70% of families lose portions of their inheritance over such fights. Precious heirlooms and larger assets end up being contested in big battles between previously close family members.
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Until the aunt stole her mom’s silver, the OP had quite a good relationship with her. Her aunt would help out by babysitting, lending her car, and just being a constant presence in her life. That’s why it hit the poster so much harder when the woman pilfered the silver, especially because she did it in such a sneaky way.
According to experts figuring out one’s inheritance can be a tricky subject. Even though you might be hurt if a person tries to claim your assets, it’s important to understand that loved ones may also be distressed about the situation. They might struggle to let certain possessions go, especially if it meant a lot to the deceased person.
In this case, if the OP’s mom had not mentioned who the silver goes to in her will, it makes it more difficult to know what to do with the collection. The woman’s aunt must have expected to own it after her sister’s death. The only problem is that the way she went about acquiring it was definitely not nice.
The OP felt that her bond with her aunt was broken because of her actions, especially because the set might not have been worth more than £200-300. Unfortunately, it’s property like this that has strong emotional value that can sometimes spur the biggest fights between loved ones.
That’s why it’s so important to discuss such matters with family members while they’re still alive. Or make sure they add it to their will, which will save a lot of hassle later.
How would you have handled this situation if you were in the OP’s shoes?
Netizens sympathized with the poster and told her that inheritance matters definitely seem to bring out the worst side of people
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
I'd find a way to steal it back. "I dunno what happened to it, are you sure you put it in the hutch?'
Load More Replies...My mother died when I was 16 - the only thing she left me (my father was a lawyer, and wrote the wills) was a smackarooni of a diamond ring, left to her by her mother. 3 weeks after her death, my father met this 'wonderful' lady, and after 6 weeks wanted to get enegaged....and used the ring that my mother left me as 'I won't need it for years due to being so young'.
I'm so sorry. It's horrible having heirlooms snatched away by someone who should have had your back.
Load More Replies...My sister's pull the same c**p after my mom died. There were only two things I wanted. My dad said he was fine with me having both items. The oldest said she'd just learned mom wanted her to have one of the items...give it to me!! So I did. The other was an ornate piece of religious jewelry. The other sister stomps in and says, I'm the only religious person here. Give me the jewelry. I did. After both confrontations on the same day. I left and haven't really seen either since. IMO they're both greedy vultures. Mom passed 44 years ago.
I'm normally a "it is just stuff, let it go, move on but never trust this woman again" kind of person. But somethings about this feels particularly offensive. I think I would go to her home and demand the silver be returned, and still blow it up to the family. They deserve to know how she has behaved.
I agree. The aunt is grabby, pushy and an idiot. Silver, unless particularly fine, is not in vogue and so is currently mainly selling at scrap value. I would kick up a stink, primarily to ensure that she and the rest of of the family know why she is never to be permitted in your parents' house again. Secondly, for the price of whatever the set is, whether or not it's returned, she's forfeited many years worth of family visits and help during her years of infirmity. The set probably will pay for two hours of care, if she's lucky.
Load More Replies...My two eldest sisters cleared my mum's flat out of everything of value before anyone else could get a look. They took her jewellery and sold it then told the rest of us that it wasn't at the flat in the first place and that my brother must have stolen it before mum died. The last time I saw any of my 5 remaining siblings was at mum's funeral in 2014, I haven't spoken to any of them since 2015.
As the surviving spouse, it was the widower's right to give them away. It was his stuff.
Is he interested to know why this is so important to the aunt? Is this something she wanted but couldn't get when they split up the inheritance and has special meaning to her too, or is it just the monetary value? Regardless, why not petty and every time she has a birthday or Christmas give her something to do with the silver. Cleaning paste, storage bin, whatever. Ask her if she's bringing it to dinner? Totally rub it in on every occasion.
She didn't "borrow her" the car, she lent it, the other person borrowed it; nor is she loosing her, she is losing her. Obviously when parent passes something to a child, it's no longer the parent's property; it's therefore down to the wishes of the child as to what happens. As the child was married, in the absence of a will, it automatically becomes the property of the husband, and thereafter is disposed of in accordance with his will or wishes - if he wanted to give it to her, that is up to him, but he can very easily say no. Another issue that isn't even a question.
I'd find a way to steal it back. "I dunno what happened to it, are you sure you put it in the hutch?'
Load More Replies...My mother died when I was 16 - the only thing she left me (my father was a lawyer, and wrote the wills) was a smackarooni of a diamond ring, left to her by her mother. 3 weeks after her death, my father met this 'wonderful' lady, and after 6 weeks wanted to get enegaged....and used the ring that my mother left me as 'I won't need it for years due to being so young'.
I'm so sorry. It's horrible having heirlooms snatched away by someone who should have had your back.
Load More Replies...My sister's pull the same c**p after my mom died. There were only two things I wanted. My dad said he was fine with me having both items. The oldest said she'd just learned mom wanted her to have one of the items...give it to me!! So I did. The other was an ornate piece of religious jewelry. The other sister stomps in and says, I'm the only religious person here. Give me the jewelry. I did. After both confrontations on the same day. I left and haven't really seen either since. IMO they're both greedy vultures. Mom passed 44 years ago.
I'm normally a "it is just stuff, let it go, move on but never trust this woman again" kind of person. But somethings about this feels particularly offensive. I think I would go to her home and demand the silver be returned, and still blow it up to the family. They deserve to know how she has behaved.
I agree. The aunt is grabby, pushy and an idiot. Silver, unless particularly fine, is not in vogue and so is currently mainly selling at scrap value. I would kick up a stink, primarily to ensure that she and the rest of of the family know why she is never to be permitted in your parents' house again. Secondly, for the price of whatever the set is, whether or not it's returned, she's forfeited many years worth of family visits and help during her years of infirmity. The set probably will pay for two hours of care, if she's lucky.
Load More Replies...My two eldest sisters cleared my mum's flat out of everything of value before anyone else could get a look. They took her jewellery and sold it then told the rest of us that it wasn't at the flat in the first place and that my brother must have stolen it before mum died. The last time I saw any of my 5 remaining siblings was at mum's funeral in 2014, I haven't spoken to any of them since 2015.
As the surviving spouse, it was the widower's right to give them away. It was his stuff.
Is he interested to know why this is so important to the aunt? Is this something she wanted but couldn't get when they split up the inheritance and has special meaning to her too, or is it just the monetary value? Regardless, why not petty and every time she has a birthday or Christmas give her something to do with the silver. Cleaning paste, storage bin, whatever. Ask her if she's bringing it to dinner? Totally rub it in on every occasion.
She didn't "borrow her" the car, she lent it, the other person borrowed it; nor is she loosing her, she is losing her. Obviously when parent passes something to a child, it's no longer the parent's property; it's therefore down to the wishes of the child as to what happens. As the child was married, in the absence of a will, it automatically becomes the property of the husband, and thereafter is disposed of in accordance with his will or wishes - if he wanted to give it to her, that is up to him, but he can very easily say no. Another issue that isn't even a question.
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