Depends on why she hasn't been over, right? Like, my sister living about 15min away has only been over twice in 4 years, but she is very busy, and she has a house we can ALL come to for celebrations, while we have a 3-bedroom apartment with up to 3 children and a cat. It's just more comfortable for us to come there than the other way around. But my brother in law, living an hour away, hasn't visited his grandma once in the same time span, because she takes his uncle's side in bullying his mother (my mother in law). So he's not seeing her because SHE'S not nice enough for his standard. So, without additional info, I'd really NOT call the mother an A for not visiting.

There are no absolutes in a family. People are different, and so are their motives and patterns. It’s no automatic bad thing, it depends completely on context.

That's even more perplexing then. Who spends tons of money trying to get pregnant with NO ability to pay for the child after?

BTW, she is 29 NOW, so she decided to get pregnant at 20 and didn't stop to think and grow up for once in those 9 years! Like, I absolutely get the child wish, but you have to be your own person and provider before you bring another person into the mix, right?!? It's one thing to get pregnant young and handle things, it's another to just decide you have to have a baby before all else!