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There is something fundamentally human about making a variety of mistakes, big and small, while dating. That's probably why most of our romantic endeavors aren't actually success stories. (I mean, if they were, we would have no trouble finding someone to spend the rest of our lives with, right?) So if we judged even the slightest slip-ups our matches made, I think we'd end up alone, with only our sour memories to keep us company.
The tricky part is finding the balance between the words and behaviors we can turn a blind eye to and the ones we should not tolerate. Luckily, there's a Reddit post that might give us a better idea of locating that line.
Created by user HorizontalInterrupt, it asked "Women who gave the 'creep' a chance, how did it go?" The post's comment section is full of personal experiences, listing the many red flags you might want to take notice of.
However, I also feel like it's important to point out that this publication doesn't mean that all men are evil and you should avoid going out with them. All people have the capacity to do good but, sadly, all are capable of bad things as well. The best we can hope for is that our moral compass will eventually lead us to those we can at least trust.
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#1
There was a guy that came into my work (restaurant) a few times a week for lunch. He did this for a little over a month so he became a regular. He had asked me out every time I brought his bill. He always asked in a lighthearted way and never seemed upset or anything when I turned him down. I assumed that after the first few asks, he maybe thought of it as more of an inside joke at that point. Like he was just asking now to make light of the previous rejections and to make it less awkward or something. He always gave me weird vibes but seemed nice enough so I thought I might have just been making assumptions because of his appearance and wasn't being fair.
One time that he asked, I decided randomly to agree and give him a shot. *"why not"* I thought. He was always super kind and I had gotten rather used to the awkwardness I felt being around him. He seemed so excited and I asked him to leave his number on the receipt and I would call/text him when I wasn't busy to set something up. So it wasn't really much of a joke to keep asking me out, I mostly figured that though tbh. A few days later I hadn't text him yet to set anything up or even give him my number and I get a text only a few min after walking into my house after I got home from work. It said, "hey! It's ***** from ***** ******. I know it's a long shot but I'm free tonight and bored, wanna hang out? If you're free that is!"
I asked him how he got my number. He said I gave it to him the night I agreed. I absolutely know I didn't. I got really creeped out but decided not to confront him about it and just play like I'm a ditz and believed that "I must have done that, I just didn't remember because it was busy." I told him that I wasn't free to hang out that night, that I was going to be working later to help cover a shift and then would be pretty pooped by the time I was off (I only ever saw him come in for lunch not ever dinner shifts). A few minutes passed before he responded. He said, "why are you lying to me?". I just responded with "what? Lol". He said, "I know you are home. If you didn't want to hang out tonight you could have just said so." Alarm bells rang in my head. I thought, *there's no way he's outside my house. He is just trying to call my bluff. Creepy but not a full blown stalker.* But I felt exposed. I felt the crawling on my skin that only burns into you when someone is staring at you. The vulnerable pulses that are felt only by prey.
I looked out through the blinds of my bedroom and he was parked right outside my house. I could see his face lit up by the phone screen. He was so close. I texted him and said, "ahaha you caught me! How did you know I was bluffing? I'm sorry. I do want to hang out soon I'm just not feeling up to it tonight." And called 911. The police showed up and went up to his car and talked to him for a bit. He drove away a few minutes later and then the officers came to my door. They told me that they acted like a random neighbor complained about a strange car. They didn't implicate anyone but made it seem like it was an older person, so probably not me. They took his plate information but asked him politely to move so he didn't upset anyone in the neighborhood and he complied. I went to my friends house that night and filed a restraining order the next morning.
I later found out that he most likely got my number from the shift sheet behind the hostess counter, because several co workers had seen him (at different times) snooping back there and kindly stopped him. He, I guess, grabbed a roll of silverware claiming that the server hadn't left him any and he didn't want to bother anyone because he knew they were busy so just grabbed it himself. This stopped anyone from suspecting him of anything odd. And that his car had been parked at my house almost every night (neighbors security camera). I don't know how he got my address but I assume he must have followed me. He must have been full on stalking me for a while. He did come into my work a day or two later for lunch acting like everything was normal. I immediately went and got my manager and she informed him that he had a restraining order against him preventing him from eating there because he would be in violation of it. I had already changed my phone number so I don't know if he tried to text me and I didn't sleep at my house for weeks, but I never saw him again after that.
And I often find myself thinking back to that time and wondering how much more did he do and for how long that I don't know about. Like, maybe he stalked me long before he started coming into the restaurant, and only started coming in there because he felt "more brave" than before to interact with me. How much of my private moments throughout my life were actually not private? Also, I have never once stopped feeling scared that he might have still stalked me and knows where I am even now, but is keeping himself hidden. I doubt it, but the fear is still there. I have never felt comfortable being alone. Ever.
Most of this would have still probably happened even if I didn't agree to give him a chance. But if he hadn't slipped up about having my phone number when he shouldn't, I would have gone out somewhere with him and who knows how badly that could have ended.
**IF YOUR GUT FEELING TELLS YOU HE'S A CREEP THEN HE IS MOST DEFINITELY A CREEP! DON'T LET THE "NICE GUYS" GUILT TRIP AND GASLIGHT YOU INTO DOUBTING YOUR OWN INTUITION WITH THEIR NARRATIVE!**
RELATED:
#2
A few years ago, I went to a brewery to meet a guy on a date for the first time. The waiter began a conversation and asked me if I was expecting anyone else. I told him I was on a blind date and hadn't met the guy before.
The waiter asked me if I wanted to set up a code word. Since they didn't serve milk stouts, if I ordered one from him, he would know something is up and would call me back to have me sign the receipt instead. The waiter kept checking on me frequently...
Eventually, I did order a milk stout... when it came time for the bill, I asked for it to be split. My date put his drinks on my bill.
When the waiter came back, he told me he had the drinks removed; it was on the house. When my date asked me what that was all about, I told him the waiter had told me there was something wrong with my card, so I needed to go to bar with him.
I waited awhile and then left for my car. The date was still there. He made a comment about how he was waiting for a good bye hug. I told him, no thank you and that my car was in the opposite direction.
Moments later, he sent me horrendous text messages.
..and thank you, John. You may have saved my life that day.
#3
On our first date I ordered a beer. It came to the table super frothy. I was distracted for a moment but when I looked at it again there were very clear “drip” marks in the foam like something had been dropped in it. I made up some excuse about not feeling well and got out of there.
Oops! Can’t leave. My dumb**s drove and my car was valeted. I, VERY uncomfortably, got the car from valet and we both got in. He asked me to stop at a gas station so he could buy smokes on the way. Thank god because I knew going to his house was not a good idea. As soon as he got out at the station I peeled out and left him there. I never should have let him in my car, but I panicked. I didn’t know what he was capable of.
This was 15+ years ago. I’m now happily married to the best thing that ever happened to me.
#4
He showed up to my house without telling me beforehand and demanded a kiss before he left. He kissed with his eyes open and had cold, dead eyes. He was also a self proclaimed nazi and told me “I don’t like black people, but you’re okay.”
This was in high school so luckily I learned fast to trust my gut when it came to guys.
#5
Went on a first date for just drinks with a guy, and red flags were immediate. Didn’t look anything like his profile, and got handsy almost as soon as we sat down. I wasn’t into him at all, but we had a shared interest in horror novels, so I decided to extend the date into dinner. During dinner, he drank several Old Fashions while I nursed a single beer. He then told me he thought we were soulmates, and he thought we were going to fall in love. He also told me his ex-girlfriend was going to get an abortion the next day.
At the end of the date, his portion of the bill was significantly more than my portion because of all his drinks, but he asked me to pay half, which I did. On top of that, he gave me s**t for driving to the date even though it was only a mile from my house (I didn’t want to walk in hot weather in my nice date dress and I had twisted my ankle earlier that week). But even after giving me s**t for driving, he asked me to give him a lift home. Which I did.
Once we were in front of his place, he refused to get out of my car unless I went inside with him for a night cap. I said absolutely not. He begged me to just enjoy a drink on his front porch. I said no. I told him to get out of my car. He finally did.
The next day, he texted me telling me that was the best date he’d ever had and he couldn’t wait to see me again. I told him no thank you, and walked away with one lesson learned: I need to just say no from the beginning.
#6
At the end of a weird and terrible date, he asked me for a hug as I was turning to leave. I thought, "whatever gets this over with." As I was pulling away, he forcibly grabbed the back of my head and shoved his tongue in my mouth before I was able to break free. The next morning I had a three page email in my inbox telling me all the things that are wrong with me and why he is not interested in a second date.
#7
After a few dates he started to get way too serious. I told him calmly and honestly that I wasn't ready for a serious relationship and he deserved to be with someone who was. He completely flipped s**t and after a bit of name calling I stood up and started to leave the bar. He then said "you should watch yourself in the future. Especially when getting into your car..."
I was extremely paranoid for months after. Would check my backseat and under my vehicle. Never saw him again so just an empty threat, but not a fun time. That was like 15 years ago. Yeah he's still single.
#8
The dude in the flat across from mine started off as a really nice guy. Introduced himself, offered meals when he'd cooked too much. Just a great guy all round.
Within a few weeks, it was made clear that he was an alcoholic.
I have a recovering brother, so I really sympathised with him. I went out of my way to sit with him, and eventually called him an ambulance when he fitted from withdrawals (UK, so calling an ambulance is free). This carried on for a little while, with me sitting with him two or three times a week, waiting for an ambulance.
One night after he started fitting, he kept grabbing my breasts. I was already on the phone to the ambulance service, but the woman heard me telling him to stop and sent police as well.
He was carted off, and just like usual, I grabbed his keys and told him to knock for them the next morning.
Well, the nrxt time I looked after him, the groping got worse. And then slowly so did my life.
Suddenly I had fires set outside my windows, and mutilated rat corpses left on my door step.
The police were called after every incident, and I got to know one policeman who was put on my case really well. He suggested I put up cameras, so I did.
There was footage of the neighbour standing outside in the yard at 3am, just staring into my window, multiple nights in a row. Terrifying, but not illegal.
Well, two weeks after that, my neighbour snapped. There were builders in the garden next to ours, and they apparently woke him up at 4pm. He ran out with a kitchen knife and stabbed two of the builders and the neighbour's dog (everyone survived). He also slashed a whole bunch of tyres on our street.
When the police came to search the dude's flat, my policeman friend told me (off the books) that the neighbour had been faking being an alcoholic the entire time. He'd get in the ambulance, ride to,the hospital, and then check himself out and walk home.
Also, they found half a dozen decomposing rats in his bathtub
They'd been mutilated. They later found a bloody hammer under his bed.
You'd think him being arrested would be the end of it, but noooo. He put my name, picture, address, and telephone number on a prostitution site. I had men aggressively hounding me for sex multiple times an hour for two entire weeks before I just cut all ties and fled the city.
Last I heard, he was in jail for the GBH, but that was a few years ago now.
Yeah. Never gonna make the same mistake again.
Qibli of the SandWings 2 years ago (edited)
He stabbed two people. I’d say he is one 😬 (at least he attempted to be one)
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BasedWang12 2 years ago
thank you for this... I was thinkin she mispelled GHB
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Carol Emory 2 years ago
The problem with this situation too, it turns women into introverts. Even if they move somewhere else, they won't trust neighbors or strangers and will have a hard time trusting anyone. And men wonder why women won't give them a chance? Get these a**holes under control. You see them treating a woman like this, step in and do something!
Jp@nda 2 years ago
I'm sorry but how TF is staring into your windows in the middle of the night not a crime?
KatieCoxie 2 years ago
It is. It's harassment if it's causing her alarm and distress. And if he kept doing it he would have been nicked.
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Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Being a peeping Tom is not illegal in the UK? That’s generally a jumping off point to worse crimes, like rape and abduction. Cripes.
BasedWang12 2 years ago
if the person is on public property like a sidewalk or something then there isn't much you can do.
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Katinka Min 2 years ago
You didn't do a mistake, you were just unlucky and the victim of a psychopath. Helping a neighbour is a good thing, although it is important to avoid co-dependency. And kudos also to the emergency sercie for picking up on the seriousness of the situation.
Cory Tollman 2 years ago
Coming at builders with a knife...a good way to get some lumber or a metal tool upside the head. Are nail guns legal in the UK?
LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago
This just gets worse the more you read it. What is wrong with people.
#9
I bought him a coffee one time and we chatted about our music tastes. Three days later, I was sitting in my dorm and I got a text from him that was just a selfie. I sent one back and the conversation got really boring so I sent him a snap of a black screen. He responded, “are you in a dark place?” And I said “yeah lol”. His response was “well you’ll have to leave soon because you have class in (insert building with insert professor) at 6:00.”
I literally never told him anything about my classes so he just f*****g stalked me until he learned my entire schedule. It turns out he was a serial creep preying on freshman girls.
#10
He tried negging me all night and when he asked me how many siblings I have, I told him and included the info that one passed away a few years prior. He asked me if I had killed my sibling.
If they give you the creeps, they're not worth a chance. Sorry, not sorry.
#11
He had terrible hygiene. I was 16, he was old enough to buy beer for my friends. He had a friend who had some sort of made up gang, who threatened to kill me if I ever left him. I stayed with him longer than I should have. He would follow me to school on the city bus and then walk around leering at women and pinching his nipples. I tried to break up with him and he bought me Looney Tunes jewelry and insisted we were engaged.
He finally had to go out of town for some family stuff and stayed gone for months, so I considered us broken up and I moved on. When he came back, he acted crazy. He would go to my job and follow me around and try to corner me in the bathroom.
His dad was the chief of police at a university and knew I was 16. My parents also knew about the relationship, I feel like some parent should have intervened to keep me from feeling trapped in that relationship.
#12
This guy was handsome but way too into me for knowing nothing about me. It wasn’t like when we spoke I was an open book or felt a strong connection that would lead me to want to share info with him. This was not a “I feel like I’ve known this man forever” connection. I just thought this was normal dating but had a gut feeling something was off…he talked to me like I’d been his girlfriend for months. We went on 3 dates…never even had sex. After 3rd date I had made my decision based on our short time getting to know one another and let him know I had no interest in continuing to date and that I didn’t see us being compatible long term. He then locked me in his car, proceeded to ask if I wanted to move to California with him (wtf), and started crying/begging me to “work this out.” I tried to be very nice but it got to the point I was scared and wasn’t sure how this was going to go since he was virtually a STRANGER, so I hit his dashboard and said if he didn’t let me out of the car immediately I was calling the police. Then he threatened to kill himself if I didn’t spend the night with him at his house…I’d never even been to this man’s house. He finally let me out after like an hour or two but stayed in the parking lot of my apartment almost the entire night and called me non-stop…about a month later he texted me out of the blue a reaaaaaaally long paragraph apologizing profusely and saying if I ever change my mind to call him. I just said thanks for the apology and wished him well. Hope he’s doing okay but I wanted no part of that.
#13
When I broke up with him, he took a giant s**t on the hood of my car a week later.....
Edit- please for the love of God stop with the amber heard jokes
#14
I got bad vibes from a guy. On our second date I had to cancel because my dog was sick and had to go to the vet. I told him I was sorry. He asked to meet me at the vet, I told him no but we could reschedule because I was really stressed out. He showed up anyway which was really weird but I didn’t think much of it even though I hadn’t told him which vet it was, but I was so focused on my dog I didn’t really register it beyond a fleeting thought. I didn’t want him there but he was and he tried to be supportive but I was panicking and I barely knew him and it was weird. I kind of ghosted him after because of the vibes. I don’t like to ghost but he sketched me out and guys like that don’t always take overt rejection well.
A short while later he asked to go on another date, I told him no thanks and that I wasn’t interested. He said he was coming over to my house (he had picked me up for our first date. I know, I know). I told him I had moved, which was true. He said he was coming anyway, I was like wtf? No. How? I told him he was scaring me and not to bother.
A few mins later I got a picture of my car. And my house. And my window. He had found my new house.
Apparently Snapchat had a feature where it just… SHOWED people your EXACT location?? And he was just watching my movements over town? What an awful feature from an equally awful app. I told him that was weird and scary and I slept with a knife for weeks. F**k Snapchat.
#15
It’s been over a decade now and he’s still harassing me on every online platform he can find me on. He sends me incel memes about being rejected. Luckily we are not in the same city anymore (that I know of)
#16
I walked in on him peeing in my washing machine after letting him in my home for some reason
#17
He got very obsessed with me, I had to be straight up rude to get him to leave me alone because he wouldn't understand when I asked nicely.
He later self harmed on his own wrists and went around telling people to ask me why he did that
Edit : might be relevant, but I was 17 and he was 26
#18
He invited me to dinner with his friends. Well, his friends happened to be his entire family and they were already halfway through their meal when I arrived (on time).
Then, when I tried to excuse myself to leave, he insisted on following me out to the parking lot and physically would not let me get into my car. As I reached for the handle, he grabbed me by the face and stuck his tongue in my mouth.
This was easily 10 years ago and I still shudder thinking about it.
Dan Padgett 2 years ago
This is when you bite down and he finds out that doing c**p like that isn't ok.
#19
He was super touchy from the beginning and insisted on coming back to my dorm room on the first date even after I said I wasn’t comfortable with it. He was very controlling and demanded that I tell him what I was doing and who I was with even though I had only been on two dates with him. He constantly pushed my boundaries and on the third date he sexually assaulted me.
I blocked him on all social media and his phone number. He looked up my class schedule and would wait outside my dorm entrance at 7:45am on the days he knew I had class in the morning, just to try and convince me to sleep with him.
Thinking about it makes me sick. The red flags were blatant and I ignored them. I wish I could go back in time but alas I can’t. I’ve spent the last year and a half picking up the pieces from that night.
Long story short is trust your gut- it’s always right.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
I am so sorry you were assaulted. I wish I could’ve been there to go all medieval on him for you.
#20
I had a bad vibe but my friend told me he was a “good guy.” So we went on a date and he asked to drive my car. He curbed my rims and talked about how he was fired unfairly from his job. The next weekend I avoided his calls and instead went out to dinner with friends. While I was gone, he broke into my apartment. My neighbors and the cops were waiting outside when I got home. I spent the night at my moms, he showed up at 0300 when the my let him out and was trying to get in a window. Wonderful officer spent the rest of the night in the driveway. Fast forward a couple weeks and he shows up at my work, mopes over to me and hands me folded papers.
It was 8-10 handwritten front and back notebook papers where he alternated between telling me I was the love of his life to why he hated me and wished I would die. I was terrified, security escorted him away.
Never saw him again but found out later he did the same thing to some girl in Spokane but he was able to actually get in, beat her and landed her in the hospital.
EDIT: The friend was dating my best-friend and the “good guy” was his cousin. I think he really wanted us to hit it off so the 4 of us could all hang out together or something?? He was shocked by the actions of his cousin but did tell me later that he had “thought he changed.” They’re not longer dating and haven’t talked to him in years and years! This happened 20 years ago in the PNW.
#21
I was 18ish. I was modeling at the time and volunteered for a date auction for charity, and some guy like ten years older that I sorta knew ... 'bought me.' We went on our date a few weeks later (dinner and mini golf or something) and the date was kinda awkward but fine, and afterwards I said, 'Okay, that was was nice. Time to take me home.' Instead, he drove me to his house and insisted I join him for a nightcap. I refused and he locked the doors and wouldn’t let me out. This was in the days of pre-cellphones, so I couldn’t even call 911."
"Eventually after over an hour of him telling me how I 'owe' him some more company because he paid so much for me, I got nearly hysterical and told him that if he didn’t take me home this instant I would kick his window out and scream for someone to call the cops. He did take me home and was all surly about it and I couldn’t get out of that car fast enough
#22
Met him when I worked as a cashier in a small downtown shop. Wasn't my type and seemed a little off, but I was young and had zero real dating experience. Agreed to grab coffee as a friend and made it clear I didn't have a romantic interest. He became convinced he was Gatsby and I was his Daisy (the Great Gatsby film had just come out that year). Started stalking me and endlessly sending letters and gifts to me at work describing how we were fated to be together. When I confronted him to stop, he started having his friends follow me at work or drop by to "check in" on me. Prowled outside on nights I had to close shop alone. I ended up quitting that job and things fizzled. Seven months later I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. It was the same dude -- he just got released from a short prison sentence and was letting me know he thought of me every day and was going to find me so we could finally be together. I made up a story that I was travelling abroad for college and would be gone indefinitely. Changed my number and luckily haven't heard from him again!
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Why are so many guys targeting waitresses? Just because they are nice to you when they are serving you, doesn't mean they think any more about you.
#23
I met a guy during a chemistry contest in another city. We were on the same team so I was friendly. He found my address in the registration docs somehow and showed up in front of my building next week at 10 p.m. at night. He was hysterical on the phone and told me 'you will have to go out at some point and I will be waiting to take you with me.' Luckily, my dad and uncle scared him away. He texted me one to two times after that to insult me, but that was it
Anna Nowak 2 years ago
She didn't give him a chance. He gave himself one by violating her private information.
#24
Back in High School several of my female friends and I (also female) had an off period before lunch, so we were all sitting around a table chatting. One of the female security guards came up to us and told me that there was a new exchange student from Amsterdam that thought I was cute, but he was too nervous to come over and introduce himself. I have zero interest in men, but I figured there wasn't any harm in letting the guy come sit with us and helping him feel more comfortable at our school.
So he comes over, sits down with us, and chats a bit. He seemed rather shy, and he had about a dozen piercings going up each arm that he kept fiddling with (and a bunch of facial piercings). Then class lets out and people, including a bunch of my male friends, start showing up for lunch. First male friend sits down and introduces himself. New guy doesn't not respond AT ALL, doesn't even look at friend. Weird. Maybe just shy? Second male friend comes and sits down. Same thing. Slightly unsettling now. We kept trying to include him over lunch but he would ONLY respond to the women. Wouldn't even acknowledge the other guys at the table.
I never talked to him again after that lunch period and two weeks later he got expelled for slamming a girl against a locker and choking her to the point she nearly passed out.
#25
On our first date, he told me he loved me and that he would let me pick out the color of our house. The rest of the evening was super awkward. I never talked to him again.
#26
We got married, three children later and I’ve never been more miserable
ILivedlikethat 2 years ago
Please, seek help and leave him for a better life or at leats a chance of it!
#27
Did one video chat with him during which he asked if he could (video) call me again later in the day. When I told him “no I’ll be busy” I started getting random text messages throughout my day that said “are you okay? Just let me know you’re okay”. The first I responded to, I said “hey — yeah, I’m fine. I just hung up with you 30 minutes ago bud.” He took that as a sign that I wanted to talk more so he attempted another video call. When I didn’t respond, he started again with the texts. Didn’t even bother responding to the rest. Up to 20 unread messages later before I was able to block him while leaving him on read.
#28
Knew he was weird before the first date. I was sad and thought maybe he’d be different in person. Showed up to the date and he walked with a crazy limp, told me he was into pee stuff, wouldn’t pay for dinner, tried to kiss me 3 times. When I got home that night he sent me a full body nude completely out of the blue. I never saw him again. He texted me 3 months later to tell me I was the worst human and most selfish person he’s ever met. And then he blocked me.
#29
He stalked me for almost 8 months, and I still do not want to know how he got my address.
I was 19, he was 31.
​
God, I was so naïve.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago (edited)
We need to give our teens and pre-teens far better tools for managing the abusive adults around them. It's not enough to just go "Don't date older guys" or "That older guy/woman isn't your friend." They need scripts and tools and practice turning down these dudes and deflecting them. When you are 16, you want to believe that 25-40 year old guy is just really a good friend and is helping you by buying you beer/weed. You want to believe that you are mature, special, attractive, nice, desirable, especially if your home and/or school life sucks. You want to believe that this older person sees your struggles and just cares about you, because you're young, or in a bad home situation, or are queer. But they don't. It's grooming.
#30
He stalked me. He made videos of himself crying because I “broke his heart” after him knowing me for a month. He told everyone I was just a fat wh*re who used men (I didn’t take anything from him or have sex with him.) I gave him a whole month and every time I would hang out he would keep me up until 3am crying that I didn’t love him.
It was bad
Agent 8433599 2 years ago
Sounds super desperate and self centered. Also, 3 whole months?! That's way too long!
#31
I ignored my gut feeling about him, overlooked his strange tendencies & tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. We were together for almost two years. The entire relationship, he added girls he didn't even know on Snapchat & would say rather inappropriate things to them. Being that you know nothing about strangers on that app, I'm now aware that one of the girls was a minor (he was 26). On my 22nd birthday he had invited my best friend to sleep in our bed with us, & the first time he met my SISTER he gave her the same invitation. He gave both of those invitations right in front of my face. When we were out together & he saw someone attractive he wouldn't just glance, he stared. He regularly talked s**t on my family, & is just generally an awful person. I was his first real girlfriend & he was/is extremely self centered & mentally abusive. That ended almost a year ago & he still goes to our regular hang outs & asks about me, when I come in, where I'm living, who I'm seeing, etc. My takeaway from that whole situation is, always trust your gut feeling about people.
#32
Hoooo boy! My first ever date from an app he had me take transit an hour and a half to a mall he worked at cause he had to drop something off, we got food and he INSISTED I take home a piece of pie despite not wanting it, ate my leftovers despite actually wanting it, took me to his house and forced me to meet his mother (had no idea he lived with her), cried on me, and told me that he had a 9 inch d**k. One date, never messaged him again.
A month later, I get a long a*s text telling me he’s moved on and met someone so much better than me. Hope she enjoyed your 9 incher.
#33
Badly - we hung out NOT as a date once. I left because he wanted to hug me and give me a back massage and I barely knew him. He basically ended up stalking me...
Fedoras and trench coats are red flags ladies. Particularly, if he litigates that the hat is not actually a fedora.
#34
I gave the creepy guy a chance. I was 21 he was 30. He had me living w him in his moms basement where he sold weed. It was awful and abusive.
#35
Badly... He became very stalkerish, was very insecure about other men, and tried to isolate me from friends.
What do you think ?
Little Wonder 2 years ago
This is why I hate the "he really likes you, you should give him a chance!" type of comment when a woman says she's not interested in a man. We don't have to give anyone a chance, *especially* not the creeps.
Nathaniel 2 years ago
These guys make me feel ashamed to be a man. Seriously? How can some of us act like this? They are first class, prime examples of dingleberries.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
yep, also want to apologise on behalf of my gender here. Sorry. Pity there are that many creeps. "Not all men", yeah, .... kinda a lot of them though. I can really only think of a handful who do NOT aggressively pursue a woman they are interested in.
Load More Replies...
Jiminy 2 years ago (edited)
He wasn't outright creepy, nothing I could put my finger on. He just gave me the creeps when we met the first time IRL, but I thought he deserved a chance. He professed his deep feelings and his want for a relationship the second evening. I said I wasn't ready. He wooed me for weeks, I kinda gave in until I was so stressed by him and his neediness that I broke it off. He proceeded to threaten me with suicide and I called the cops, but never answered him directly. He tried to manipulate me with every possible angle and low profile stalked me for two or three weeks after leaving the psychiatric clinic, but ultimately I got off easy.
Nemo 2 years ago
He is the reason why I'll never have a public social media account. Why I hate getting my picture taken and even giving my name feels unsafe. It's been years since I last saw him but I'll never know for sure if he stopped watching me
MimSorensson 2 years ago (edited)
And this is why I’d die before posting anything about anybody without their clear and expressed blessing. I don’t post pictures of strangers either these days without blurring their faces completely. You never know. You may have an idea, but you don’t KNOW. No posting people unless they know about it and green lights it.
Load More Replies... lenka 2 years ago
He wasn't an outright creep but struck me as socially awkward and trying too hard to fit in. Seemed nice enough that I thought I should at least get to know him better. We went on two dates. After the second I told him that I didn't have romantic feelings for him. He seemed to take it well. A few days later he called me 6pm saying his car was broken down. I lived near a very popular local pub and he was there. He asked if I could do him a favor and come take him home because he wasn't able to get hold of his mates. Weird. Should have said no but I was heading out to meet some friends anyway... no harm no foul. I get there. He is with his friends. He introduced me to them as his girlfriend. When I said that was not true and got upset at him for lying he started accusing me a cheating on him. I tried to leave and he held my wrist. I yanked it away and he stood in my path. Security kicked him out and escorted me to my car. Lucky he didn't know where I lived.
Mad McQueen 2 years ago
My ex was crazy. Met While both working diff places in a mall. I went into his store to try on a dress an caught in peeking over the top of the door. I yelled at him but he laughed it off to a co worker. I was half into an outfit so changed back an came out of the dressing room an left. ( if this gets too long go to the replies I'll continue there ). He showed up a day later at my job and gave me a leather motorcycle jacket (s**t this was in '90 An I still have it. Mostly cuz it was expensive an black) well we dated a few times. Then he would leave me locked in his house with no way out. Several towns away. I kept trying to leave him. I met a better guy an moved to another city. Had a friend in another state mail post cards I wrote from there that I moved to that state. He called cops and reported me missing. Cops went to my moms an said they found a body matching me. She had to call an see if I was still alive. Hated him for that. Would steal my mail too. More but it won't fit.
Mad McQueen 2 years ago
If you want more stories ask. He was such a stalker, manipulative douche. I took him to get knee surgery an after while in recovery kept saying his ex's name. Who he used me to make her jealous because she dumped him. He took me to the gym she worked out at an I didn't even know that was the reason. Sent me post cards he drew on the front of decapitated doodles of headless girl bodies from a diff state but addressed to my moms house. I knew his writing. God so many stories.
Load More Replies...
It's me!!!! 2 years ago (edited)
I really thought I loved my ex boyfriend. He was a great guy... at first. He started becoming obsessive. If I would try to leave his house because I had work the next day he would start crying and block my car door begging me to stay for like an hour or longer This happened multiple times. Then he noticed I was disturbed he started accusing me that I was gonna leave him and never come back. At that point it set in that I actually was gonna break up with him. He blocked my car door for a few hours. And I finally got through and broke up with him via text message cause I knew it would be impossible in person. He called and texted me a million times demanding to know what he did wrong. I had to change my number and drop his things off where his mom worked and she asked me what happened and said I fell out of love with him. The end. Bye creepy Dan!
Janet C 2 years ago
And men wonder why #yesallmen is a thing. I have no doubt every single one of these men would say they were a good guy. I'm sure they all looked like perfectly nice men.
MimSorensson 2 years ago (edited)
Yeah, that’s the thing - it doesn’t show. You can’t tell. They don’t all have obvious red flags. Many of the worst don’t. The most twisted ones are often the best at hiding it. Women have no other choice than to assume ‘all men’ - not because *all* men are monsters, but because *any* man could be. And if that is the case, it’s quite possible that they won’t know until it’s too late.
Load More Replies... Insignificant pisces 2 years ago
Took him home and made the mistake of sleeping with him as intended one night stand. Then he refuses to leave my house till I agree to go out with him, I felt pressured to say yes. Fast forward almost three years, I'm working with him (obviously so he can keep an eye on me), I'm not allowed to see my friends, wear make up, drive. Managed to get away and luckily now married to someone who treats me well.
Cory Tollman 2 years ago
Well, I clicked on this in hopes that it at least had some instances where things weren't as they seemed and everything worked out. I was wrong. So wrong.
Frannie Kaplan 2 years ago
These men are not rare. Stop complaining about women complaining about sexism
Quinn Alexander 2 years ago
Tried moving to the same city as my ex right after we broke up. Yeah...really sucks to wake up and realize "Oh wait, I was really f*****g creepy." Therapy helps.
Seabeast 2 years ago (edited)
I'm so glad I came of age before cell phones and social media, or even personal computers. It was much harder to stalk someone back then, and I met a guy at a dance who almost certainly would have. I danced with him exactly *once* and he followed me around the rest of the evening, waiting outside the ladie's washroom door for me, even following me out to the parking lot as I was leaving. I wasn't "nice", I got progressively more blunt to try to shake him off, but he still wouldn't go away.
madbakes 2 years ago
Who the hell downvotes this? It's so frustrating for us Android users
Load More Replies...
NicNor5560 2 years ago
These are all about men but there women out there that are just as bad as these stories show.
Little Wonder 2 years ago
This is why I hate the "he really likes you, you should give him a chance!" type of comment when a woman says she's not interested in a man. We don't have to give anyone a chance, *especially* not the creeps.
Nathaniel 2 years ago
These guys make me feel ashamed to be a man. Seriously? How can some of us act like this? They are first class, prime examples of dingleberries.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
yep, also want to apologise on behalf of my gender here. Sorry. Pity there are that many creeps. "Not all men", yeah, .... kinda a lot of them though. I can really only think of a handful who do NOT aggressively pursue a woman they are interested in.
Load More Replies... Jiminy 2 years ago (edited)
He wasn't outright creepy, nothing I could put my finger on. He just gave me the creeps when we met the first time IRL, but I thought he deserved a chance. He professed his deep feelings and his want for a relationship the second evening. I said I wasn't ready. He wooed me for weeks, I kinda gave in until I was so stressed by him and his neediness that I broke it off. He proceeded to threaten me with suicide and I called the cops, but never answered him directly. He tried to manipulate me with every possible angle and low profile stalked me for two or three weeks after leaving the psychiatric clinic, but ultimately I got off easy.
Nemo 2 years ago
He is the reason why I'll never have a public social media account. Why I hate getting my picture taken and even giving my name feels unsafe. It's been years since I last saw him but I'll never know for sure if he stopped watching me
MimSorensson 2 years ago (edited)
And this is why I’d die before posting anything about anybody without their clear and expressed blessing. I don’t post pictures of strangers either these days without blurring their faces completely. You never know. You may have an idea, but you don’t KNOW. No posting people unless they know about it and green lights it.
Load More Replies... lenka 2 years ago
He wasn't an outright creep but struck me as socially awkward and trying too hard to fit in. Seemed nice enough that I thought I should at least get to know him better. We went on two dates. After the second I told him that I didn't have romantic feelings for him. He seemed to take it well. A few days later he called me 6pm saying his car was broken down. I lived near a very popular local pub and he was there. He asked if I could do him a favor and come take him home because he wasn't able to get hold of his mates. Weird. Should have said no but I was heading out to meet some friends anyway... no harm no foul. I get there. He is with his friends. He introduced me to them as his girlfriend. When I said that was not true and got upset at him for lying he started accusing me a cheating on him. I tried to leave and he held my wrist. I yanked it away and he stood in my path. Security kicked him out and escorted me to my car. Lucky he didn't know where I lived.
Mad McQueen 2 years ago
My ex was crazy. Met While both working diff places in a mall. I went into his store to try on a dress an caught in peeking over the top of the door. I yelled at him but he laughed it off to a co worker. I was half into an outfit so changed back an came out of the dressing room an left. ( if this gets too long go to the replies I'll continue there ). He showed up a day later at my job and gave me a leather motorcycle jacket (s**t this was in '90 An I still have it. Mostly cuz it was expensive an black) well we dated a few times. Then he would leave me locked in his house with no way out. Several towns away. I kept trying to leave him. I met a better guy an moved to another city. Had a friend in another state mail post cards I wrote from there that I moved to that state. He called cops and reported me missing. Cops went to my moms an said they found a body matching me. She had to call an see if I was still alive. Hated him for that. Would steal my mail too. More but it won't fit.
Mad McQueen 2 years ago
If you want more stories ask. He was such a stalker, manipulative douche. I took him to get knee surgery an after while in recovery kept saying his ex's name. Who he used me to make her jealous because she dumped him. He took me to the gym she worked out at an I didn't even know that was the reason. Sent me post cards he drew on the front of decapitated doodles of headless girl bodies from a diff state but addressed to my moms house. I knew his writing. God so many stories.
Load More Replies... It's me!!!! 2 years ago (edited)
I really thought I loved my ex boyfriend. He was a great guy... at first. He started becoming obsessive. If I would try to leave his house because I had work the next day he would start crying and block my car door begging me to stay for like an hour or longer This happened multiple times. Then he noticed I was disturbed he started accusing me that I was gonna leave him and never come back. At that point it set in that I actually was gonna break up with him. He blocked my car door for a few hours. And I finally got through and broke up with him via text message cause I knew it would be impossible in person. He called and texted me a million times demanding to know what he did wrong. I had to change my number and drop his things off where his mom worked and she asked me what happened and said I fell out of love with him. The end. Bye creepy Dan!
Janet C 2 years ago
And men wonder why #yesallmen is a thing. I have no doubt every single one of these men would say they were a good guy. I'm sure they all looked like perfectly nice men.
MimSorensson 2 years ago (edited)
Yeah, that’s the thing - it doesn’t show. You can’t tell. They don’t all have obvious red flags. Many of the worst don’t. The most twisted ones are often the best at hiding it. Women have no other choice than to assume ‘all men’ - not because *all* men are monsters, but because *any* man could be. And if that is the case, it’s quite possible that they won’t know until it’s too late.
Load More Replies... Insignificant pisces 2 years ago
Took him home and made the mistake of sleeping with him as intended one night stand. Then he refuses to leave my house till I agree to go out with him, I felt pressured to say yes. Fast forward almost three years, I'm working with him (obviously so he can keep an eye on me), I'm not allowed to see my friends, wear make up, drive. Managed to get away and luckily now married to someone who treats me well.
Cory Tollman 2 years ago
Well, I clicked on this in hopes that it at least had some instances where things weren't as they seemed and everything worked out. I was wrong. So wrong.
Frannie Kaplan 2 years ago
These men are not rare. Stop complaining about women complaining about sexism
Quinn Alexander 2 years ago
Tried moving to the same city as my ex right after we broke up. Yeah...really sucks to wake up and realize "Oh wait, I was really f*****g creepy." Therapy helps.
Seabeast 2 years ago (edited)
I'm so glad I came of age before cell phones and social media, or even personal computers. It was much harder to stalk someone back then, and I met a guy at a dance who almost certainly would have. I danced with him exactly *once* and he followed me around the rest of the evening, waiting outside the ladie's washroom door for me, even following me out to the parking lot as I was leaving. I wasn't "nice", I got progressively more blunt to try to shake him off, but he still wouldn't go away.
madbakes 2 years ago
Who the hell downvotes this? It's so frustrating for us Android users
Load More Replies... NicNor5560 2 years ago
These are all about men but there women out there that are just as bad as these stories show.
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