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Man Refuses To Share His SSN, Girlfriend Insists It’s Non-Negotiable, Silence Follows
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Man Refuses To Share His SSN, Girlfriend Insists It’s Non-Negotiable, Silence Follows

Man Refuses To Share His SSN, Girlfriend Insists It’s Non-Negotiable, Silence FollowsMan Doesn’t Let GF Guilt-Trip Him Into Giving Her His SSN So She Would Feel SafeWoman Tries To Guilt BF Into Sharing His Social Security Number, Relationship Drama Reaches Boiling Point“Absolutely Not”: Man Refuses To Hand Over His SSN So Paranoid GF Can Do A Background CheckGF Wants BF’s Social Security Number For ‘Safety Reasons,’ He Refuses, Internet Questions Her Motives“It’s About Safety”: Woman Demands BF’s Social Security Number For Background Check, Cue DramaGF Tries To Manipulate Her BF Into Giving Her His SSN Because Of Her Past Relationship TraumaWoman Wants BF’s Social Security Number For “Background Check,” Internet Is Suspicious“She's Offended”: Man Walks Out After GF Insists On Having His SSN Over Safety Concerns“She Called Me Insensitive”: Red Flags Raised After Woman Demands BF’s Social Security Number
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In a world where crime is rife, we do need to be vigilant about who we allow into our lives. And it goes without saying that this extends to who we date, live with or marry. Some people check up on potential partners by having a peek at their social media accounts. Some fish for information from mutual friends. And others follow their instincts when it comes to trusting a new flame.

One man shared how his girlfriend took it quite a few leaps further. They’d been dating for a year when she suddenly demanded his social security number, claiming a friend was going to do a “background check” on him for her safety. When the guy refused to share his SSN, his girlfriend accused him of being insensitive. She hasn’t spoken to him since. Now, he’s wondering if he was right to be suspicious.

RELATED:

    The woman claimed she’d previously dated an abusive man who turned out to be a criminal leading a double life

    Image credits: varyapigu (not the actual photo)

    While he understood her need to feel safe, her current boyfriend didn’t believe she needed his SSN to do so

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    Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Alarmed_Sorbet8101

    Identity theft is on the rise, with consumers losing more than $10 billion to fraud in 2023 alone

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    Disclosing your social security number to anyone increases your risk of becoming the target of identity theft and fraud. Shady criminals and syndicates can use your SSN to gain access to bank accounts, credit cards, driving records, tax and employment histories, and other personal information.

    The Federal Trade Commission is the government body tasked with protecting American consumers. The FTC sounded the alarm last year when it released data that showed fraud losses had reached an all-time high of 10 billion dollars in 2023.

    Consumers fell victim to investment scams, with more than $4.6 billion of their money handed over unknowingly. It was a 21% increase from the year before. “The second highest reported loss amount came from imposter scams, with losses of nearly $2.7 billion reported,” noted the FTC in a press release. It added that in 2023, consumers lost more money to bank transfers and cryptocurrency than all other methods combined.

    The FTC said one in four people reported losing money to scams. And it put the median loss at around $500 per person. Email was the top method of contact for scammers in 2023, with many shady characters pretending to be a business or government agency in order to steal money.

    One of the best ways to protect yourself and your identity is to guard your SSN closely. “For better or worse, you are the gatekeeper,” warns Adam Levin, chairman and founder of CyberScout. “The person most responsible for shielding your Social Security Number is you. Therefore, your mission is to limit, as best you can, the universe of those who gain access to it.”

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    Levin says you should never hand over your SSN blindly. But rather, do the following if anyone ever asks for that information…

    Pause and think about whether there is a legitimate need for the SSN. Some places or people ask for it without actually needing it. But there are certain government departments that really do require the confidential information. For example, the IRS, the Department of Motor Vehicles, or the military.

    Levin also suggests negotiating with the person who asked. You could instead offer your driver’s license or account number as a form of identification.

    Finally, if you do decide to share your SSN, get the assurance that there are strict security measures in place to protect your personal information.

    Image credits: DC_Studio (not the actual photo)

    “Change your locks and password and never look back”: concerned netizens warned the man to watch out

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    “It literally costs you nothing”: others didn’t see the consequences of the man dishing out his SSN

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    Robyn Smith

    Robyn Smith

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    Robyn Smith

    Robyn Smith

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Robyn is an award-winning journalist who has produced work for several international media outlets. Made in Africa and exported to the world, she is obsessed with travel and the allure of new places. A lover of words and visuals, Robyn is part of the Bored Panda writing team. This Panda has two bamboo tattoos: A map of Africa & the words "Be Like The Bamboo... Bend Never Break."

    Justinas Keturka

    Justinas Keturka

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    Justinas Keturka

    Justinas Keturka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

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    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He posted an update. He offered to pay for a professional background check and to give her the results. She refused saying her "friend" was the only person she'd trust. Case closed. There is no friend. This was a simple financial fraud scheme.

    G A
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As usual, YTAs are insane. If this is NOT an attempt to take out a loan/credit card by her (which I think it is), it's a major abuse of power by a government employee and they should be sacked. Certainly anyone in local government or the Civil Service in the UK could well serve a prison sentence for accessing private data, dont know about the US.

    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a Federal felony in the US for anybody to use their access to government data for personal reasons. They don't even have to give it out. Just looking it up is a crime.

    Load More Replies...
    Arabiata Arabiata
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ask her SSN first, because you have had very sad, abusive experiences with women. And do not give yours to her.

    Lousha
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not an expert on how things work in the US, but based on what I've learned from stories like this it always amazed me how easy it seems to commit identity fraud there, taking out loans, credit cards etc in someone else's name, and how complicated if not impossible it was for the victim to fix the damage. Where I'm from there is no one number you can use to do such things. You cannot open accounts on behalf of someone else without their physical presence etc. To do it you would need to actually forge identity papers etc, not just learn a number. Not to mention I can just walk into any post office and request a polie check certificate on myself, no need to give any reason (usually done for certain jobs), and for a small fee I will have a piece of official paper that lists any criminal past offences I've been involved with, and it's perfectly legal, not requiring me to give any sensitive info to the person who needs the check, be it a domestic partner or a future employer.

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fella, RUN! And take all your passwords and sensitive info with you. As for you YTA fuggnuts, far be it from me to wish bad luck upon people but if you got scammed because you handed out PnC info because of "trust", you absolutely deserve it. Who in the ever-loving hex would ask, much less demand these sort of sensitive info from others in the name of "trust". Sorry not sorry, but RUN!!! NOW!!! -_-

    R Dennis
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YTAs are scammer accounts... only thing that makes sense. "I make poor choices and am bad at judging people. Give me your private information so I can give it to someone you don't know." Run fast, run far.

    B
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just an FYI IT IS ILLEGAL for her " friend" to run random background checks. It is all logged in a data base & they would be fired for this.

    xolitaire
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those YTA idiots are once again missing the point by a landmass. This is not about a "woman's need for safety". This is about committing a felony and very possibly planning a con. 1.) You do NOT need a SSN to do a background check. 2.) Worrying about "feeling safe" one year into a relationship is ridiculous and a blatant lie. 3.) SHE is not feeling "safe" with him, but is trying to talk him into being an accomplice to a felony?!! Yeah no.

    martin734
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What I find really scary is the comments on there saying you only need a person's name and DoB to run a background check on them. Have you guys never heard of privacy or data protection? Do you not have laws that protect personal information?

    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not only do we not have privacy laws, when cops or Federal investigators want personal information that would normally require a warrant, they just step around the Constitution and buy it from data brokers. And there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

    Load More Replies...
    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been background checked numerous times when I worked as a nanny. Not once did I need to provide my SSN. She's 100% nuts. He should be glad he found out before he wasted time living with her!

    Schmebulock
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Give her the SS# for that guy from Lifelock and then run away laughing!

    GalPalAl
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't believe two people posted YTA. Do they work for the onion and these are joke responses to his dilema? For those people who feel differently about sharing you ssn with someone, then share yours with the rest of us. Costs you nothing.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can - she found this sub and her friend joined, possibly? There's always some fool who doesn't understand the situation or gets triggered and responds as YTA because they have their own past trauma and therefore go straight to the "victim's" side. Or they're bored and trollling

    Load More Replies...
    Mr. Jones
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never give anyone your social security number. The YTAs are probably stupid people who give out their personal information to anyone.

    Michael MacKinnon
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she was genuinely concerned about safety, he could go to the local police station and ask for a background check (just like he would do if he was going to volunteer with Boy Scouts or a similar youth group), and provide her with the results.

    Orysha
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Run, bro, run. Chek with her ex if you can who was the real criminal in their relationship (if he exists at all).

    Lexi
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP needs to get away from that person, never give your SSN to anybody. I like many others say run, and those yta are d!cks that are clearly dumb enough to fall for I.D fraud

    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He posted an update. He offered to pay for a professional background check and to give her the results. She refused saying her "friend" was the only person she'd trust. Case closed. There is no friend. This was a simple financial fraud scheme.

    G A
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As usual, YTAs are insane. If this is NOT an attempt to take out a loan/credit card by her (which I think it is), it's a major abuse of power by a government employee and they should be sacked. Certainly anyone in local government or the Civil Service in the UK could well serve a prison sentence for accessing private data, dont know about the US.

    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a Federal felony in the US for anybody to use their access to government data for personal reasons. They don't even have to give it out. Just looking it up is a crime.

    Load More Replies...
    Arabiata Arabiata
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ask her SSN first, because you have had very sad, abusive experiences with women. And do not give yours to her.

    Lousha
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not an expert on how things work in the US, but based on what I've learned from stories like this it always amazed me how easy it seems to commit identity fraud there, taking out loans, credit cards etc in someone else's name, and how complicated if not impossible it was for the victim to fix the damage. Where I'm from there is no one number you can use to do such things. You cannot open accounts on behalf of someone else without their physical presence etc. To do it you would need to actually forge identity papers etc, not just learn a number. Not to mention I can just walk into any post office and request a polie check certificate on myself, no need to give any reason (usually done for certain jobs), and for a small fee I will have a piece of official paper that lists any criminal past offences I've been involved with, and it's perfectly legal, not requiring me to give any sensitive info to the person who needs the check, be it a domestic partner or a future employer.

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fella, RUN! And take all your passwords and sensitive info with you. As for you YTA fuggnuts, far be it from me to wish bad luck upon people but if you got scammed because you handed out PnC info because of "trust", you absolutely deserve it. Who in the ever-loving hex would ask, much less demand these sort of sensitive info from others in the name of "trust". Sorry not sorry, but RUN!!! NOW!!! -_-

    R Dennis
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YTAs are scammer accounts... only thing that makes sense. "I make poor choices and am bad at judging people. Give me your private information so I can give it to someone you don't know." Run fast, run far.

    B
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just an FYI IT IS ILLEGAL for her " friend" to run random background checks. It is all logged in a data base & they would be fired for this.

    xolitaire
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those YTA idiots are once again missing the point by a landmass. This is not about a "woman's need for safety". This is about committing a felony and very possibly planning a con. 1.) You do NOT need a SSN to do a background check. 2.) Worrying about "feeling safe" one year into a relationship is ridiculous and a blatant lie. 3.) SHE is not feeling "safe" with him, but is trying to talk him into being an accomplice to a felony?!! Yeah no.

    martin734
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What I find really scary is the comments on there saying you only need a person's name and DoB to run a background check on them. Have you guys never heard of privacy or data protection? Do you not have laws that protect personal information?

    Sand Ers
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not only do we not have privacy laws, when cops or Federal investigators want personal information that would normally require a warrant, they just step around the Constitution and buy it from data brokers. And there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

    Load More Replies...
    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been background checked numerous times when I worked as a nanny. Not once did I need to provide my SSN. She's 100% nuts. He should be glad he found out before he wasted time living with her!

    Schmebulock
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Give her the SS# for that guy from Lifelock and then run away laughing!

    GalPalAl
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't believe two people posted YTA. Do they work for the onion and these are joke responses to his dilema? For those people who feel differently about sharing you ssn with someone, then share yours with the rest of us. Costs you nothing.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can - she found this sub and her friend joined, possibly? There's always some fool who doesn't understand the situation or gets triggered and responds as YTA because they have their own past trauma and therefore go straight to the "victim's" side. Or they're bored and trollling

    Load More Replies...
    Mr. Jones
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never give anyone your social security number. The YTAs are probably stupid people who give out their personal information to anyone.

    Michael MacKinnon
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she was genuinely concerned about safety, he could go to the local police station and ask for a background check (just like he would do if he was going to volunteer with Boy Scouts or a similar youth group), and provide her with the results.

    Orysha
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Run, bro, run. Chek with her ex if you can who was the real criminal in their relationship (if he exists at all).

    Lexi
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP needs to get away from that person, never give your SSN to anybody. I like many others say run, and those yta are d!cks that are clearly dumb enough to fall for I.D fraud

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