Man Refuses To Share His SSN, Girlfriend Insists It’s Non-Negotiable, Silence Follows
In a world where crime is rife, we do need to be vigilant about who we allow into our lives. And it goes without saying that this extends to who we date, live with or marry. Some people check up on potential partners by having a peek at their social media accounts. Some fish for information from mutual friends. And others follow their instincts when it comes to trusting a new flame.
One man shared how his girlfriend took it quite a few leaps further. They’d been dating for a year when she suddenly demanded his social security number, claiming a friend was going to do a “background check” on him for her safety. When the guy refused to share his SSN, his girlfriend accused him of being insensitive. She hasn’t spoken to him since. Now, he’s wondering if he was right to be suspicious.
The woman claimed she’d previously dated an abusive man who turned out to be a criminal leading a double life
Image credits: varyapigu (not the actual photo)
While he understood her need to feel safe, her current boyfriend didn’t believe she needed his SSN to do so
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alarmed_Sorbet8101
Identity theft is on the rise, with consumers losing more than $10 billion to fraud in 2023 alone
Disclosing your social security number to anyone increases your risk of becoming the target of identity theft and fraud. Shady criminals and syndicates can use your SSN to gain access to bank accounts, credit cards, driving records, tax and employment histories, and other personal information.
The Federal Trade Commission is the government body tasked with protecting American consumers. The FTC sounded the alarm last year when it released data that showed fraud losses had reached an all-time high of 10 billion dollars in 2023.
Consumers fell victim to investment scams, with more than $4.6 billion of their money handed over unknowingly. It was a 21% increase from the year before. “The second highest reported loss amount came from imposter scams, with losses of nearly $2.7 billion reported,” noted the FTC in a press release. It added that in 2023, consumers lost more money to bank transfers and cryptocurrency than all other methods combined.
The FTC said one in four people reported losing money to scams. And it put the median loss at around $500 per person. Email was the top method of contact for scammers in 2023, with many shady characters pretending to be a business or government agency in order to steal money.
One of the best ways to protect yourself and your identity is to guard your SSN closely. “For better or worse, you are the gatekeeper,” warns Adam Levin, chairman and founder of CyberScout. “The person most responsible for shielding your Social Security Number is you. Therefore, your mission is to limit, as best you can, the universe of those who gain access to it.”
Levin says you should never hand over your SSN blindly. But rather, do the following if anyone ever asks for that information…
Pause and think about whether there is a legitimate need for the SSN. Some places or people ask for it without actually needing it. But there are certain government departments that really do require the confidential information. For example, the IRS, the Department of Motor Vehicles, or the military.
Levin also suggests negotiating with the person who asked. You could instead offer your driver’s license or account number as a form of identification.
Finally, if you do decide to share your SSN, get the assurance that there are strict security measures in place to protect your personal information.
Image credits: DC_Studio (not the actual photo)
“Change your locks and password and never look back”: concerned netizens warned the man to watch out
“It literally costs you nothing”: others didn’t see the consequences of the man dishing out his SSN
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He posted an update. He offered to pay for a professional background check and to give her the results. She refused saying her "friend" was the only person she'd trust. Case closed. There is no friend. This was a simple financial fraud scheme.
If I were OP, I'd take the money he was willing to spend on a background check of him and run one on her.
Load More Replies...As usual, YTAs are insane. If this is NOT an attempt to take out a loan/credit card by her (which I think it is), it's a major abuse of power by a government employee and they should be sacked. Certainly anyone in local government or the Civil Service in the UK could well serve a prison sentence for accessing private data, dont know about the US.
It's a Federal felony in the US for anybody to use their access to government data for personal reasons. They don't even have to give it out. Just looking it up is a crime.
Load More Replies...Ask her SSN first, because you have had very sad, abusive experiences with women. And do not give yours to her.
I'm not an expert on how things work in the US, but based on what I've learned from stories like this it always amazed me how easy it seems to commit identity fraud there, taking out loans, credit cards etc in someone else's name, and how complicated if not impossible it was for the victim to fix the damage. Where I'm from there is no one number you can use to do such things. You cannot open accounts on behalf of someone else without their physical presence etc. To do it you would need to actually forge identity papers etc, not just learn a number. Not to mention I can just walk into any post office and request a polie check certificate on myself, no need to give any reason (usually done for certain jobs), and for a small fee I will have a piece of official paper that lists any criminal past offences I've been involved with, and it's perfectly legal, not requiring me to give any sensitive info to the person who needs the check, be it a domestic partner or a future employer.
Fella, RUN! And take all your passwords and sensitive info with you. As for you YTA fuggnuts, far be it from me to wish bad luck upon people but if you got scammed because you handed out PnC info because of "trust", you absolutely deserve it. Who in the ever-loving hex would ask, much less demand these sort of sensitive info from others in the name of "trust". Sorry not sorry, but RUN!!! NOW!!! -_-
Those YTA idiots are once again missing the point by a landmass. This is not about a "woman's need for safety". This is about committing a felony and very possibly planning a con. 1.) You do NOT need a SSN to do a background check. 2.) Worrying about "feeling safe" one year into a relationship is ridiculous and a blatant lie. 3.) SHE is not feeling "safe" with him, but is trying to talk him into being an accomplice to a felony?!! Yeah no.
He's not the potential accomplice to the felony, he's the target.
Load More Replies...What I find really scary is the comments on there saying you only need a person's name and DoB to run a background check on them. Have you guys never heard of privacy or data protection? Do you not have laws that protect personal information?
Not only do we not have privacy laws, when cops or Federal investigators want personal information that would normally require a warrant, they just step around the Constitution and buy it from data brokers. And there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.
Load More Replies...I've been background checked numerous times when I worked as a nanny. Not once did I need to provide my SSN. She's 100% nuts. He should be glad he found out before he wasted time living with her!
Give her the SS# for that guy from Lifelock and then run away laughing!
I can't believe two people posted YTA. Do they work for the onion and these are joke responses to his dilema? For those people who feel differently about sharing you ssn with someone, then share yours with the rest of us. Costs you nothing.
I can - she found this sub and her friend joined, possibly? There's always some fool who doesn't understand the situation or gets triggered and responds as YTA because they have their own past trauma and therefore go straight to the "victim's" side. Or they're bored and trollling
Load More Replies...If she was genuinely concerned about safety, he could go to the local police station and ask for a background check (just like he would do if he was going to volunteer with Boy Scouts or a similar youth group), and provide her with the results.
He posted an update. He offered to pay for a professional background check and to give her the results. She refused saying her "friend" was the only person she'd trust. Case closed. There is no friend. This was a simple financial fraud scheme.
If I were OP, I'd take the money he was willing to spend on a background check of him and run one on her.
Load More Replies...As usual, YTAs are insane. If this is NOT an attempt to take out a loan/credit card by her (which I think it is), it's a major abuse of power by a government employee and they should be sacked. Certainly anyone in local government or the Civil Service in the UK could well serve a prison sentence for accessing private data, dont know about the US.
It's a Federal felony in the US for anybody to use their access to government data for personal reasons. They don't even have to give it out. Just looking it up is a crime.
Load More Replies...Ask her SSN first, because you have had very sad, abusive experiences with women. And do not give yours to her.
I'm not an expert on how things work in the US, but based on what I've learned from stories like this it always amazed me how easy it seems to commit identity fraud there, taking out loans, credit cards etc in someone else's name, and how complicated if not impossible it was for the victim to fix the damage. Where I'm from there is no one number you can use to do such things. You cannot open accounts on behalf of someone else without their physical presence etc. To do it you would need to actually forge identity papers etc, not just learn a number. Not to mention I can just walk into any post office and request a polie check certificate on myself, no need to give any reason (usually done for certain jobs), and for a small fee I will have a piece of official paper that lists any criminal past offences I've been involved with, and it's perfectly legal, not requiring me to give any sensitive info to the person who needs the check, be it a domestic partner or a future employer.
Fella, RUN! And take all your passwords and sensitive info with you. As for you YTA fuggnuts, far be it from me to wish bad luck upon people but if you got scammed because you handed out PnC info because of "trust", you absolutely deserve it. Who in the ever-loving hex would ask, much less demand these sort of sensitive info from others in the name of "trust". Sorry not sorry, but RUN!!! NOW!!! -_-
Those YTA idiots are once again missing the point by a landmass. This is not about a "woman's need for safety". This is about committing a felony and very possibly planning a con. 1.) You do NOT need a SSN to do a background check. 2.) Worrying about "feeling safe" one year into a relationship is ridiculous and a blatant lie. 3.) SHE is not feeling "safe" with him, but is trying to talk him into being an accomplice to a felony?!! Yeah no.
He's not the potential accomplice to the felony, he's the target.
Load More Replies...What I find really scary is the comments on there saying you only need a person's name and DoB to run a background check on them. Have you guys never heard of privacy or data protection? Do you not have laws that protect personal information?
Not only do we not have privacy laws, when cops or Federal investigators want personal information that would normally require a warrant, they just step around the Constitution and buy it from data brokers. And there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.
Load More Replies...I've been background checked numerous times when I worked as a nanny. Not once did I need to provide my SSN. She's 100% nuts. He should be glad he found out before he wasted time living with her!
Give her the SS# for that guy from Lifelock and then run away laughing!
I can't believe two people posted YTA. Do they work for the onion and these are joke responses to his dilema? For those people who feel differently about sharing you ssn with someone, then share yours with the rest of us. Costs you nothing.
I can - she found this sub and her friend joined, possibly? There's always some fool who doesn't understand the situation or gets triggered and responds as YTA because they have their own past trauma and therefore go straight to the "victim's" side. Or they're bored and trollling
Load More Replies...If she was genuinely concerned about safety, he could go to the local police station and ask for a background check (just like he would do if he was going to volunteer with Boy Scouts or a similar youth group), and provide her with the results.
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