Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
Girlfriend Tweets Weird Things Her Boyfriend Says During His Sleep, And It Will Make You Die From Laughter
When your partner tells you you've been sleep talking, it's as scary as it is intriguing. Did you reveal any secrets? Maybe you came up with the recipe for the elixir of immortality? One guy in Wichita, Kansas is talking so much and so amusingly in his sleep that his girlfriend eventually decided to start tweeting his phrases, and our funny bones can't thank her enough.
From asking a penguin for his pancakes to revealing that he's Jon Snow in disguise, this guy says so many ridiculously hilarious things, he deserves his own talk show. The Twitter account his girlfriend uses (@Sleep_Sayings) has racked up over 14,000 followers, and it deserves every single one of them. Scroll down to read some of the funniest things his unconscious mind had to say and vote for your favorites!
This post may include affiliate links.
RELATED:
#3
#5
silem arod 7 years ago
Either he hates Steve Jobs or he refers to the forbidden apple. Or just the apple hahahahahahaha
#6
Jet Nijkamp 7 years ago
Did you know the Dutch word for grafting (a tree) is 'enten'?
Load More Replies...
Robert Morson 7 years ago
As I did stand my watch upon the hill, I looked toward Birnam, and anon methought The wood began to move.
Vexor Shadewing 7 years ago
Heads up, it's likely he's consorting with three bearded hags in his spare time.
#22
#26
7 years ago
THEY ARENT ACTUALLY FRENCH FRIES THEYRE FROM BELGIUM...that's a thing you now know
#28
7 years ago
Things i now know about him 1. He love Teenage mutant ninja turtles 2. He probably got a dog 3. He don't like burritos(?) 4. Lots of imagination :P
#30
#37
#38
#40
Thundor Fox 7 years ago
Honestly, how could you fall asleep in the middle of my lecture on rabbits?
#44
Anne Glare 7 years ago
Does that mean you're the princess of s**t or just not a very good princess?
#50
#53
#59
#63
#72
Marnee DeRider 7 years ago
What on earth is this guy seeing? His girlfriend should plug into his head and display the dreams in video.
#80
#96
Kirk Ruocco 7 years ago
even clubs cant stop him..... i have seen death an its a guy talking in his sleep
#104
#110
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Megan 7 years ago
My mother once told me that i said “ Tonight is the night.... I’ll get the bird u get the dog , we’ll kill EVERYONE!!!!! and then i decided to scream “ Spaghetti!!!! Spaghetti!!!! Spaghetti!!!!!!
Socially Awkward 7 years ago
My dad talked in his sleep once: Dad: It's a fish. Mom: What's a fish? Dad: IT'S A FISH! IT SAYS IT RIGHT HERE IN THE RULE BOOK!
SJ_Panda_love 7 years ago
One of my friend who was a sleep walker and talker both, got up at 3 AM, called 911 and told operator, "I buried all of them in my backyard". Well rest you can imagine. P.S. There were no bodies, nothing!
Zori the degu 7 years ago
My sister a few moments after she woke up: " Zori, it's your cat toilet. Me(eyeing her with confusion): ....... My sister: "Zori, it's your cat toilet!" Me: "Yana, you alright(in Bulgarian language, with the appropriate intonation, this simple phrase can freely be used in the meaning of "Do you have your brains in place?")? My sister(with a wide smile and proud voice): "No." Again my sister but this time soundly asleep yells: "Zori, where's the cloud machine?". I laughed so hard I literally woke her up. This time my friend's story: Her father, trying to wake her up: Ani, you must go to school..." Ani(suddenly punching the air and her father's face with her fist):"Chanterelle!" I bet that living with someone who constantly says such weird things while sleeping is never boring.
Long Joan Silver 7 years ago
LOL! I talk in my sleep too, only if someone tries to talk to me whilst I'm asleep. Once, after getting home pretty late on a school night after a school dance competition; my mother tried to wake me up to go to school. Mum: are you going to school today? Me: no, the girls did that LOL!
Load More Replies... 
Alira 7 years ago
he'll give up his psychology degree because of this guy.
Load More Replies...
ADHORTATOR 7 years ago
my daughter talked in her sleep very often...she continued arguing with her brother " DONT' T EAT MY HAIR!!!"
Rachael Clawson 7 years ago
All the joking aside, if a person constantly talks in their sleep on a consistent/nightly basis, that usually means they're not sleeping deeply enough. The chances they have sleep apnea are very high. If ya'll haven't done so, I implore you to have a sleep study done for your loved one. It might be funny, but not being able to sleep properly can significantly shorten a person's life and cause many nasty diseases and conditions.
Just Curious 7 years ago
I hate to sound like a jerk but, as funny as these things sound, why should we believe they are real and not just made up to attract twitter "followers"?
well 7 years ago
yeah, it seems to happen too often to believe it, that he says fun s**t in his sleep.. Though, it's funny to read the comments about what really did happen to others:)
Load More Replies... Full Name 7 years ago
I'm straight but I would absolutely sleep with this guy just to hear the insanity.
Madeline Tuohey 7 years ago
Did anyone else notice they were all posted at like, 4:00 am? Poor Caitlyn.
Sivi 7 years ago
Lets see what I have done in my sleep; -Mom stopped me from using the bathtub as a toilet, I said ok and went back to bed with my pants down. -My friend woke up from getting it with something. She sees me sitting in bed with ALL of my pokemon figures in my lap. she asks what the hell I was doing and I said "Go pikachu!" threw a pikachu figure at her, laughed and fell back on my pillow. I was very confused when I woke up with a bed full of pokemon figures and looking at a unhappy friend. -my classmates told me that I once yelled "I AM A PRINCESS ON A PINK FLUFFY CLOUD!" in my sleep.
Deniz Aygün 7 years ago
My bf once said when he was asleep, "2 toasts and a football field got married" well, well..
Potatohead 7 years ago
one time (according to my mom) she came up to kiss me goodnight. i sat straight up in bed and screamed at the top of my lungs "AHOY THERE MATEY" then promptly flopped back down
Long Joan Silver 7 years ago
HAHAHAHAHA! That would probably be something that I would do!
Load More Replies...
CelSlade 7 years ago
Two of my sisters shared a room I had to walk through to get to mine. They would have huge, rambling, nonsensical arguments with each other while I stood there giggling my a**e off. Sometimes they would seem to almost make sense and I wouldn't be sure if they were awake, so I'd check my younger sister's pose - she always half sat up with one arm in the air when she was sleeptalking. Great times :P
moli.2 7 years ago
They told me once that I was sleep walking around the room and repeating: "What time is it? What time is it?" They told me that it is 3 o'clock and then I went back to sleep. Next day I met my boyfriend who I am with for 7 years. It was first and last time I was sleep walking (at least I hope)
Sean Klapperich 7 years ago
I had a girlfriend once do this. Held an entire conversation with her once while she was asleep, in which I was both threatened that I'd kick my own a*s, and criticized for coming home so late. Despite the fact that I was in the room the entire time.
Rebecca Willingham 7 years ago
They all seem to focus around food,animals,body parts and sex mostly I would love to see what his dreams are actually like to him
Chooky Leanne 7 years ago
I got told I sat up in bed and said "Space Time Continium" Think I been watching too much Star Trek lol
makenzie stephenson 7 years ago
Once i was told that in my sleep i started screaming, GET OUT OF MY ROOM LILY!!!!! Lily(my sister said back) why this is both of our rooms. I apparently answered LOOK WHAT HAPPEN WEINBERICK LILY GOT MAD AT ME SEE I TOLD YOU IT WAS A BAD IDEA TI TELL HER SHE DOESNT BELONG
Sydni William 7 years ago
This seems fake, your husband seems to dream about a variety of "classically funny" and typical animals a lot.
PsychoPrincess 7 years ago
Apparently I think that if you scream in the middle of the night you need to yell every number is random except for 7 because you know 7 is the only number that cannot be read
PsychoPrincess 7 years ago
That's because he's asleep and has no filter. And when she responds it's slowly interrupting his sleep cycle which might be making him irritable while he's unconscious. And at that point he doesn't realize it's his partner or anybody specific he's just reacting instinctively
Load More Replies...
Alusair Alustriel 7 years ago
While my better half doesn't talk, I had to scold him after yet another time when I woke up in the middle of the night seeing him hovering above me and eagerly embracing me to carry me out of bed, cause we had to run. Sweet, but man, leave me alone, the house ain't burning! Other times he walks around for a bit, then sits, then goes to sleep. He's a ligth sleepwalker ;)
Martin Fitzpatrick 7 years ago
This is funny. I've woke myself up a few times talking s**t and even managed to listen to myself a few times Has this guy been in the forces as it could be he's seen some s**t? I've not been in the military myself I'm just saying
Hari Onago 7 years ago
In which asian country do you live? Because it's totally normal in Japan, at least.
Load More Replies...
Megan 7 years ago
My mother once told me that i said “ Tonight is the night.... I’ll get the bird u get the dog , we’ll kill EVERYONE!!!!! and then i decided to scream “ Spaghetti!!!! Spaghetti!!!! Spaghetti!!!!!!
Socially Awkward 7 years ago
My dad talked in his sleep once: Dad: It's a fish. Mom: What's a fish? Dad: IT'S A FISH! IT SAYS IT RIGHT HERE IN THE RULE BOOK!
SJ_Panda_love 7 years ago
One of my friend who was a sleep walker and talker both, got up at 3 AM, called 911 and told operator, "I buried all of them in my backyard". Well rest you can imagine. P.S. There were no bodies, nothing!
Zori the degu 7 years ago
My sister a few moments after she woke up: " Zori, it's your cat toilet. Me(eyeing her with confusion): ....... My sister: "Zori, it's your cat toilet!" Me: "Yana, you alright(in Bulgarian language, with the appropriate intonation, this simple phrase can freely be used in the meaning of "Do you have your brains in place?")? My sister(with a wide smile and proud voice): "No." Again my sister but this time soundly asleep yells: "Zori, where's the cloud machine?". I laughed so hard I literally woke her up. This time my friend's story: Her father, trying to wake her up: Ani, you must go to school..." Ani(suddenly punching the air and her father's face with her fist):"Chanterelle!" I bet that living with someone who constantly says such weird things while sleeping is never boring.
Long Joan Silver 7 years ago
LOL! I talk in my sleep too, only if someone tries to talk to me whilst I'm asleep. Once, after getting home pretty late on a school night after a school dance competition; my mother tried to wake me up to go to school. Mum: are you going to school today? Me: no, the girls did that LOL!
Load More Replies... Alira 7 years ago
he'll give up his psychology degree because of this guy.
Load More Replies... ADHORTATOR 7 years ago
my daughter talked in her sleep very often...she continued arguing with her brother " DONT' T EAT MY HAIR!!!"
Rachael Clawson 7 years ago
All the joking aside, if a person constantly talks in their sleep on a consistent/nightly basis, that usually means they're not sleeping deeply enough. The chances they have sleep apnea are very high. If ya'll haven't done so, I implore you to have a sleep study done for your loved one. It might be funny, but not being able to sleep properly can significantly shorten a person's life and cause many nasty diseases and conditions.
Just Curious 7 years ago
I hate to sound like a jerk but, as funny as these things sound, why should we believe they are real and not just made up to attract twitter "followers"?
well 7 years ago
yeah, it seems to happen too often to believe it, that he says fun s**t in his sleep.. Though, it's funny to read the comments about what really did happen to others:)
Load More Replies... Full Name 7 years ago
I'm straight but I would absolutely sleep with this guy just to hear the insanity.
Madeline Tuohey 7 years ago
Did anyone else notice they were all posted at like, 4:00 am? Poor Caitlyn.
Sivi 7 years ago
Lets see what I have done in my sleep; -Mom stopped me from using the bathtub as a toilet, I said ok and went back to bed with my pants down. -My friend woke up from getting it with something. She sees me sitting in bed with ALL of my pokemon figures in my lap. she asks what the hell I was doing and I said "Go pikachu!" threw a pikachu figure at her, laughed and fell back on my pillow. I was very confused when I woke up with a bed full of pokemon figures and looking at a unhappy friend. -my classmates told me that I once yelled "I AM A PRINCESS ON A PINK FLUFFY CLOUD!" in my sleep.
Deniz Aygün 7 years ago
My bf once said when he was asleep, "2 toasts and a football field got married" well, well..
Potatohead 7 years ago
one time (according to my mom) she came up to kiss me goodnight. i sat straight up in bed and screamed at the top of my lungs "AHOY THERE MATEY" then promptly flopped back down
Long Joan Silver 7 years ago
HAHAHAHAHA! That would probably be something that I would do!
Load More Replies... CelSlade 7 years ago
Two of my sisters shared a room I had to walk through to get to mine. They would have huge, rambling, nonsensical arguments with each other while I stood there giggling my a**e off. Sometimes they would seem to almost make sense and I wouldn't be sure if they were awake, so I'd check my younger sister's pose - she always half sat up with one arm in the air when she was sleeptalking. Great times :P
moli.2 7 years ago
They told me once that I was sleep walking around the room and repeating: "What time is it? What time is it?" They told me that it is 3 o'clock and then I went back to sleep. Next day I met my boyfriend who I am with for 7 years. It was first and last time I was sleep walking (at least I hope)
Sean Klapperich 7 years ago
I had a girlfriend once do this. Held an entire conversation with her once while she was asleep, in which I was both threatened that I'd kick my own a*s, and criticized for coming home so late. Despite the fact that I was in the room the entire time.
Rebecca Willingham 7 years ago
They all seem to focus around food,animals,body parts and sex mostly I would love to see what his dreams are actually like to him
Chooky Leanne 7 years ago
I got told I sat up in bed and said "Space Time Continium" Think I been watching too much Star Trek lol
makenzie stephenson 7 years ago
Once i was told that in my sleep i started screaming, GET OUT OF MY ROOM LILY!!!!! Lily(my sister said back) why this is both of our rooms. I apparently answered LOOK WHAT HAPPEN WEINBERICK LILY GOT MAD AT ME SEE I TOLD YOU IT WAS A BAD IDEA TI TELL HER SHE DOESNT BELONG
Sydni William 7 years ago
This seems fake, your husband seems to dream about a variety of "classically funny" and typical animals a lot.
PsychoPrincess 7 years ago
Apparently I think that if you scream in the middle of the night you need to yell every number is random except for 7 because you know 7 is the only number that cannot be read
PsychoPrincess 7 years ago
That's because he's asleep and has no filter. And when she responds it's slowly interrupting his sleep cycle which might be making him irritable while he's unconscious. And at that point he doesn't realize it's his partner or anybody specific he's just reacting instinctively
Load More Replies... Alusair Alustriel 7 years ago
While my better half doesn't talk, I had to scold him after yet another time when I woke up in the middle of the night seeing him hovering above me and eagerly embracing me to carry me out of bed, cause we had to run. Sweet, but man, leave me alone, the house ain't burning! Other times he walks around for a bit, then sits, then goes to sleep. He's a ligth sleepwalker ;)
Martin Fitzpatrick 7 years ago
This is funny. I've woke myself up a few times talking s**t and even managed to listen to myself a few times Has this guy been in the forces as it could be he's seen some s**t? I've not been in the military myself I'm just saying
Hari Onago 7 years ago
In which asian country do you live? Because it's totally normal in Japan, at least.
Load More Replies... You May Like 50 Painfully Funny Posts From People Who Wish Adulting Was Just A Phase “Die In A Minute”: 40 Times Autocorrect Made A Mess From A Normal Text 50 Times Great Works Of Art Were The Perfect Canvas For The Funniest Memes (New Pics)
Donata Ruzgaitė
Ilona Baliūnaitė
Greta Jaruševičiūtė
Related on Bored Panda
