You are wise. You offered yourself, she said it wasn't good enough, that you should do better, you declined the challenge. Your intuition should stand you in good stead through your life. Good luck in your adventures to come and your eventual partnership with someone who isn't a rude entitled child.

Planning a wedding with her would have been a nightmare. Bridezilla to the max, then decorating a baby nursery, picking a house... yeah, OP dodged a bullet

My husband proposed to me almost 11 years ago the day/night after Christmas. I never had expectations of a proposal so I never knew when to expect it. I had picked him up from the airport (long-distanced). We drove by an area where we had our first date. He said let's get out and go to it. We danced in the same place we danced after a movie to a Norah Jones song. It was FREEZING. It was about midnight outside in winter. I was SHAKING. At some point, he said 'maybe let's come back tomorrow' but I had a feeling what was happening so I said "No, I'm really f-f-f-fine!" LOL Point is, I didn't care if I was becoming hypothermic. I just wanted to say yes. That's all it should be about. Yes, we have our preferences and daydreams but life doesn't go to plan! And you should learn to be happy when it doesn't!

She wanted the social media attention for a glam proposal. She didn't want him. Glad he left! He sounds like a great guy, I'm sure he deserves so much better.

The dream should be the person and the decision, not the way it happens. Nobody that loves honestly cares about the "how" or "how much the ring cost" etc.

Sounds like one of those "in love with the idea of marriage, not the person" kind of deals.

After reading the entire thing, I sincerely hope that this matures her. It sounds like the therapist was making some headway. Wait until you are older to marry.

It's good she's getting therapy and learning, it's a shame that this relationship will be a learning experience and not a happy ending. But people can change and it sounds like she's making an effort. I think in the future we'll have actual medical names for the things social media did to our psyches, and in hindsight people will look at her with sympathy, but for now she's just keeping up with the Joneses.

It's amazing how people can be so unintentionally polite. How often is someone this clear that you will be wasting your life on them?

You're doing exactly the right thing. I have NEVER heard of anybody telling the significant other how the proposal MUST be done - unbelievable! She doesn't want a proposal - she wants a Broadway production with sets, costumes, props, appropriate lighting, dialogue, rehearsals (& her dog). No, it'd have to be a film so if anybody flubs a line or the dog runs off, filming could be stopped & another take begun - until it's RIGHT. (+ She needs it filmed so it can be put on social media.) Not only is she young (& self-centered, demanding, rude, & hurtful), she's immature. All those things like writing in the sand, rose petals, etc, are so cliche - just as are handing the "proposee" a "single, perfect rose" as you propose (she'd specify the color), or proposing at dinner in a restaurant (oh, brother), your having arranged with the waiter to deliver a glass of champagne with the ring in the glass (& hope she doesn't swallow it) or having it put in the chocolate soufflé dessert - IF you're suthat's something she'd want to eat (& hope she doesn't break a tooth on it). All that's been done a million times, both on "reality" shows & on social media. But she wants that rather than something intimate, personal, & meaningful to your relationship. A wedding would be this orchestrated proposal X 100 - & if you (& everybody else) didn't strictly toe the line, down to the finest detail, (like maybe having to get your eyebrows waxed) to make it "the perfect wedding; the wedding I've dreamed about since I was a little girl; the most important day of my life" (uh, so it's all downhill from this one day?) - well, you probably can't even imagine the screaming, the tears, the tantrums - & who's laying out the $75,000 for this extravaganza (which would probably have details as trite as the ones for the proposal)? So let her go to find someone who's at her same emotional level & you can be free to do the same. (Just curious - has she ever wanted to talk about actual MARRIAGE? Children, finances, employment, # of bedrooms the house must have? All the boring stuff that comes after the wedding? OMG! I forgot abt the honeymoon!) You deserve somebody you can actually share real, adult life with.

Sweetie, you're 21. I know this is the oldest you've ever been but, to many of us, you're just a kid. And we've been there. We've been 21. We've been dating someone since high school, we thought we knew how our lives were going to be we thought that person was "the one." Most of us found it didn't happen. You said yourself you know your girlfriend is self-centered, and has to be in therapy just to be able to consider the feelings of others. I know that a 6-year investment in a relationship seems like the end of the world to end, but it isn't. It's actually the beginning. It's the beginning of a whole new world for you. Because you are mature, and she is still a high school student mentally. Don't worry about it. You didn't do anything wrong. The rest of your lives were never going to be "perfect moments" anyway, expecting that the proposal, the wedding, the honeymoon, and everything else is going to be a "perfect moment", is unrealistic and just setting you up for lifetime of unhappy

She's all about the presentation, not the person. I think that she isn't mature enough to know who she is as an independent adult, let alone get married.

What an incredibly selfish brat! I'll bet she also demanded to be "treated like a princess" at least once, or was planning to. Honey, if you want that, be prepared to be married off to your 60 year old cousin to secure the alliance with Hungary.

my husband's proposal to me: "well, why don't we just get married?" in the car, at a stoplight. 24 years strong now.

Adding my recommendation to RUN! Imagine how this child of a girl- NOT A WOMAN, will react when she has to cope with real life? Real life will present some serious challenges. Your life partner is a critical piece, if not THE critical piece to how you manage them. Picture her response if one of you loses your job? What about when one of you gets seriously ill? What if one of you has a job that requires commitents that she doesn't like such as requiring travel, long nights, odd shifts, or weekends? How would she cope it one of you was a victim of an accident, or a crime? Now think of all these things and apply them to family? Siblings, Parents, maybe someday children? These people will also affect your life and when it's children the stakes are REALLY high. Talk with your partner about these kinds of things and be sure you are satisfied with the answers BEFORE you get engaged. (married 28 years with an amazing partner and it's still really hard)

Trends are for followers. You should always thrive to be the leader in your life.

"I don't know how long they [her therapy sessions] last, what days they are or what they talk about. I do know that she has become an entirely different person." Yeah, she's f**king someone else.

Far too young and she sounds like a nightmare. Just as well they broke up.

Run! This is madness, nothing will ever be good enough. Hawaii, on the beach, wtf is wrong with that moron?? You are so much better off without her.

The guy deserves so much better than this. I hate to say this but there are other fish in the sea. He'll find a wonderful woman who will accept the most simple of proposals as the best thing in the world.

My husband was 38 (his second engagement/ marriage and my first) and he got down on one knee after I had been violently ill all day with tears in his eyes with a well-meaning speech that went to hell and sounded more like he was telling me he was dying and glad I was the person that was there for him in his time of need. I say all of this to say that in my mind it couldn't have been more perfect because I love him, and of course I said yes. If she was mature enough to care about the marriage instead of the engagement and wedding, she would say yes no matter the proposal.

You got lucky ....get out while you can.. A proposal is whatever and being slightly spontaneous is perfect as you had both discussed marriage. If she is a diva over this then the wedding will be a nightmare and cost the earth.

You nailed it with your statement : "she's always been a bit self centred ". People like that never change.

Red flags there OP. Get out now, you're still young and she's immature.

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There's way more going wrong in this relationship. Sure, girlfriend is crazy shallow, we all know that. But OP spent a LONG time explaining that he knew exactly what his grilfriend had clearly laid out that she wanted, but that he did NONE of it because...well, not for any real reason. He says over and over that he knew they would both enjoy his version better, he knew his version was better, he knew her preferences were dumb and trends that would age badly, he thought the reasons she gave were wrong etc etc. It's just a whole long list of "my girlfriend told me exactly waht she wants, and why. But I think it's stupid. I think she's wrong. She SHOULD like this thing I like instead. She should immediately be convinced by my far superior reasons and love what I decided she should want." And like, he's kind of right that his reasoning is more sounds...but he's completely forgotten she's a person. He seems to have resented her and downright disliked her for a long time.