NTA. If somebody claims a toaster was too complicated you know he's full of s**t. I think OP did way too much, to accommodate her lazy BF. Buying all the groceries for him for a week now? come on

I bet his outdated gender roles don't extend to her giving up her job and him being the sole provider, plus doing all the DIY/garden chores. Just leave him, let him starve if he is too stubborn to even shop for foods he likes.

The dude is a man child. MAYBE she could have mentioned she didn't buy his frozen meals for him, but if the guy is too useless to even go out to the store to buy his own pre made packaged s**t for dinner, then screw him. His "this is too complicated" nonsense is just that, nonsense. I learned how to cook. I didn't learn it from parents. My father was one of these "that's a woman's job," ninnies, my Mother was always screaming "GTF out of the kitchen!" any time i would try to see how she did what she was doing while making meals. I learned it on my own. I am not special for doing so.

"Gender Norms"? My father grew up in the 20s and 30s, guess who knew how to cook. His mother and father raised a man who could take care of himself.

If nothing else, you can cook rice and salmon in a microwave. You can cook a potato in a microwave. You can cook steamed vegetables in a microwave. I suggest that the next time he approaches her with that attitude, she should inform him that all complaints will be handled by Ms. Helen Waite. If he won't make anything but frozen meals, and expects her to make edible food, he can go to Helen Waite.

A few years back, I read about a guy who had a very "traditional" marriage--she did all the cooking and cleaning, he worked outside the home. At one point, she needed to have surgery for a medical issue, and they told her she'd be in the hospital for three weeks. Even though she was feeling miserable, she went to the effort of making and freezing three weeks worth of meals so that he'd have something for dinner while she was gone. As it turned out, she had complications and needed to stay in the hospital an extra week. Rather than being sympathetic to her, he was angry! "I'm about to run out of meals, what am I gonna do if she stays in the hospital for anothr week?! You have to let her out so she can cook for me again!" That behavior was apparently enough for her to snap out of it--after she got out of the hospital (she *did* stay an extra week), she divorced him.

I cook meals at home and do dishes, my partner does not. But when I'm away on holidays he never complains and does it for himself. Last time I was gone he said he ordered once, and rest of the time.managed to cook. When I return he has new admiration and appreciation that I do it. He moved in with me with zero skills, he learned happily. Why are you living with a man that has zero respect towards you or himself. It would never occur to me to blame my partner for my own inability to cook. Send him back home. And please refrain from having children until this one is grown up. Life can throw obstacles where the wife may not be able to do any housework or cook, what then? What happens if you get sick, pregnant, difficult birth, newborn baby? I was on bedrest for 9mth, couldn't carry more than 3kg. You're not in a relationship living with a man. You're alone living with an entitled male roommate who has found himself a maid. Why are you together?

All these AITA posts make me lose faith in humanity. She needs to drop this potato sack. Cooking isn't rocket science. Boiling an egg isn't brain surgery. He's just refusing to do these things. Why people stay with these mouth breathers is beyond me.

He got fast fod, but could get his own frozen meals from the supermarket? Duh

I hope OP leaves this lazy abusive whiny overgrown toddler. She would be the AT if she stays with him.

Hes a narcissistic manipulator. End of.

Jacqueline Pie Francis

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What a big baby. She should dump him. That is RIDICULOUS. My family is Italian and everyone cooks—the men and the women. The great chefs of the world include men and women. It is not a woman’s job to coddle men. There is no excuse for this guy to not be able to make a piece of toast.

if a toaster is too complicated for him, he should move back home with mom and dad.

This is completely ridiculous. My fourteen year old brother knows how to cook a few things and is really capable of fending for himself. When I was growing up we learned all of these simple tasks early because we knew we would need to. We started washing the dishes and our clothes at eleven years old. I knew how a coffee maker and toaster worked long before that. Like several other people said this weaponized incompetence and you don't have to put up with it. You need to leave him and find someone that is not stuck in the toddler phase.

She's not his girlfriend...she's his babysitter. Dump his a*s, and let him fend for himself...or find some other sugarmama to cater to his every whim.

My daughter (25) asked her dad (51) if I could make her a grilled herself sandwich because she doesn't know how to cook one with all the different cheeses in it. He said "Darlin! I know what your I.Q. is, you can make a grilled cheese sandwich!" "Yeah, but it never tastes as good as Mom's" So they made grilled cheese for me. Real Parmesan almost burnt into real butter on sour dough bread with whatever other kinds of cheese hiding in fridge.

This person has a job? He's allowed to drive a car? He has a bank account? Or does he need an assisted living facility?

"It''s not manly to cook", he says while whining and crying that a woman didnt feed him like a literal infant. These are the same morons who think liberals are cucks and Trump, who spends all him whining on social media, is an alpha

Learned helplessness to force someone else to do the work. You don't have a boyfriend; you have a man-child.

The AITA question is moot, I feel; this woman needs to get the fùck out quick. That extreme level of weaponized incompetence is a red flag so big you could cover the country with it - she needs to leave now, before she’s the permanent substitute mommy to a whiny little man child.

Why can't he buy his own damn frozen meals

I knew a woman who was annoyed that her teenage son said he couldn't manage the washing machine to do his own laundry. I said that if he wanted driving lessons, she should say that if he can't manage a washing machine, he can't manage a car. Amazing how many 'men' know how to manage a large, fast-moving machine,, but can't figure out how to use a machine in the kitchen.

Jesus MF Christ. *palm face* COMPLETE NTA

Wait… He can’t even buy the frozen meals? Definitely, she’s NTA, and she should get another boy friend.

My toddler loves mixing the eggs in the bowl and then watches while I cook. To say this man is a toddler does toddlers a disservice. This man is an infant and unwilling to grow up. Weaponized incompetence at it's finest. He needs to go if he's not going to grow.

For exactly this reason I’ve left someone before. Because his mommy was doing everything, he was used to it so much that made him completely incapable to take care of himself. Breaking point for me was when I was doing uni project through the night trying to chase time and finish before sunrise (still with a hope to get few hours of sleep). He was hanging out at my place, and interrupting me with constant questions “how to?”. Now I understand, maybe guy sincerely wants to learn, just it’s a bad timing for me. Then he comes “you need to boil an egg for me, because I don’t know how”. It was like “glass shattering“ in my brain, and it was over… I finally understood, dude wanted an attention and didn’t give a s**t about my needs and goals. Seriously f u, I was tired being a mother to 22 yo. Great decision to finish this nonsense, never looked back, it’s like ton of weight left my shoulders 👍🏼

Good lord!! My husband was brought up by June F*****g Cleaver and he can still take care of and feed himself!! He doesn't make the gourmet meals I do because I love to cook, but he would never complain if I went out of town. He knows how to make plenty of healthy, simple meals for himself and our kids if I'm not here!!

Sorry, honey, you already lost me at "he doesn't mind helping with dishes". Do you also have to tuck him in at night because his blanky is too heavy? Just return him safely to his mommy, and before you start living with somebody else do some soul searching about enabling unwanted behaviour...

No ma'am, he is not a man, he is a child. A complete child. There's nothing man about him. You are his mother, he is your son. No grown man that is competent enough, should have to be taught how to use a toaster or boil eggs! You literally put them in the water forget about them, remember them, and voila! Perfect boiled eggs! How hard is that?

So you thought you got a boyfriend and soon realized, he is a child... no, a spoiled teenager... in a mans body. Did you ever heard the phrase: He would do it, if he wanted to.? He really mastered "womanized incompetence". You should either have a serious word with him, about how he can't act like a child anymore.. or think about, if you want to be in a relationship with a man - child

Are people really that starved for companionship that they purposely put themselves in relationships like this? Is being single really worse than being someone's free maid?

Send him back to his mother. She failed at raising an independent adult.

"I'm so manly I can't even look after myself"

"Your wife/girlfriend is your partner, not your mom" *clapclap* "Your wife/girlfriend is your partner, not your mom..."

I feel sorry for this woman that she's not sure or not if she is an a*****e doing this.

Leave NOW

Personally I love to cook but I'm afraid of fire. Even when I see other people cooking I tend to panic over them being too close to fire as feel really threatened by it and also feel afraid for those I love. And even still I do everything else, cutting, seasoning, making dough for baking, washing and stay at a safe distance telling my mom or bf the steps to cook my odd-a*s recipes. I've been living with my bf for a week now and I'm really happy he liked some of the recipes I taught him despite not even getting close to the fire myself. Can't wait to make him homemade pasta which is one of few things I'm not afraid of cooking (it's real quick, not much time close to the fire).

My adult son has Down Syndrome and can make his own meals. This guy is a child. Dump him. NTA

I mean... my 5 year old can use a toaster.

Is this real?

Send him back to momma for some higher level training.

I don't think this is real. She was gone for a week, returns, and he's angry. Did they not text once during that time? I'm calling BS.

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I'm a 36 year old female and I can't measure things out in cups either... it's a stupid system.