“This Is Dysfunctional, Right?”: BF Considers Ending Relationship Over GF’s Obsession With One Song
Interview With ExpertEveryone has at least one playlist that they can listen to over and over again. It probably has the perfect mix of songs to make you feel the entire range of emotions. Despite that, there’s definitely a limit to how much you can hear the same music on repeat till you crave something new.
It turns out that everyone doesn’t operate like that. Some people, like the poster’s girlfriend, fixate on one specific song and ignore literally everything else. But this weird habit of hers almost ended her relationship.
More info: Reddit
34-year-old woman has an obsession with one song, her concerned boyfriend reaches his breaking point after 2 years and asks people for advice
Image credits: stockking (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that he had been dating his girlfriend for 2 years, and during that time, she only listened to 70 versions of the same ‘Simple and Clean’ song
Image credits: Square Enix (not the actual photo)
Whenever he questioned her about her music choice, she told him that it’s just something she likes doing, he worried how he’d explain such a “dysfunctional” thing to their future kids
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
When he asked people for advice, many suggested that his girlfriend might have autism, but when he questioned her about it, she just said, “lol maybe”
Image credits: u/D**k_Corea
The poster felt that it would be silly to break up over such a minor issue, which is why he had even previously tried introducing her to his music
Nobody would ever expect that an obsession with a song could almost end a stable relationship. Based on what the boyfriend shared, his partner could not bear to listen to anything other than the Kingdom Hearts song she loved. He even told commenters that they do try taking turns listening to each other’s music when they are together, but he feels that she gets resentful of him during those moments.
Bored Panda reached out to a musical expert to understand this complicated situation. We contacted Aaditya Surve, a music producer and sound designer working in the ad industry. His 8 years of experience creating music, operating under the alias Iridescent Grapevine, and performing with multiple bands makes him the perfect person to weigh in on this situation.
We asked him if he ever came across anyone who was extremely obsessed with a song or a playlist and why something like that could happen. He said, “Yes, but not to this extent. I know of people who get obsessed with a song for a while and just listen to that. And even I can be like that at times if I really like a track. To me personally, it’s based on how or what it makes me feel when listening, and to sort of enjoy that feeling over and over again is quite fun.”
“Of course, as a musician exposed to a wide range of music, after a short while, I’ll be listening to different music. To have a stronger connection to one or a few songs is totally normal. But to have no connection to other music is unfathomable for me,” Aaditya explained. It does seem like the woman’s love for this track went way beyond the norm. She had only listened to different versions of it for the entire two years of their relationship.
Many netizens suggested that this could be an autistic trait, with some even stating that it sounded very much like auditory stimming. This is one of the behaviors that might occur in people with autism, where they repeatedly make the same movements or sounds to self-stimulate. In this case, it might have extended to hearing the same song over and over again as a source of comfort.
The poster wasn’t sure if his partner was neurodivergent and stated that she had never performed any other repetitive behaviors. The problem is it’s way harder to diagnose autism in women than in men. Some women only receive a diagnosis when they reach adulthood because their symptoms look so different from what is considered the norm.
Image credits: ansiia (not the actual photo)
It’s hard to understand how someone could listen to 70 versions of the same song repeatedly and not get bored of it. We decided to ask Aaditya why someone would become obsessed with a track. He said: “I think definitely nostalgia, memories, and connection for me. I’m not sure how everyone else connects with their music since it’s very subjective and personal. Music can make a listener feel, move, think, or [even] heal them.”
“Good music makes people feel something that they might subconsciously want to feel more of. It may be the safety and comfort of nostalgia, the joy of wanting to move your body and dance, or the idea of feeling connected to others. Perhaps the song that someone is obsessed with makes them feel and express or explore just that. So they want to return to it until they feel satisfied with it to move to another song,” he added.
As some commenters pointed out, it may get tiresome to hear one’s partner play the same music on repeat. The poster agreed and explained that he had tried to introduce her to his music, but she only preferred her ‘Simple and Clean’ song. Musical expert Aaditya shared a valuable tip to help someone like the poster’s girlfriend explore new songs.
He explained that one could do it by “finding artists similar in style to the one they already like and exploring their songs. Then searching for other artists similar to these new ones, and so on. Kind of like a tree sprouting from a seed.” This might slowly help the woman branch out from her obsession and find more tracks that make her feel good.
Psychologists studying the field of music say that it has a connection to the body’s limbic system and the brain’s pleasure and reward center. That’s why people are able to connect songs to memories or feel chills down their spine when they hear a track they love. Since it has such a powerful impact on people, it’s no wonder that the woman formed her own special relationship with this specific track.
Have you ever loved a song so much that you couldn’t stop listening to it? Share it with us in the comments.
People were amused by the poster’s story, and many said that his post prompted them to listen to the track
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
I laughed at the idea of how this person might explain mammy only liking one song, and listening to it over and over again. How I remember the days of singing the same song over and over, or reading the same book 15 times in one day!
But how long did those episodes last? this is two years... I don't have that much patience.
Load More Replies...I wouldn't call that disordered or anything like that, just some silly quirk she has. If she doesn't drive him insane with the Kingdom Hearts track, he should just let her be. It does sound like something autism based, I've got Asperger's and as a kid, I never understood why my mother would get fed up listening to the same song for 8 hours on repeat whereas I didn't have any problems at all. I did eventually grow a broader music taste that I can listen to on repeat tho.
I'm sorry to say it would drive me nuts to hear the same "noise" over and over for hours, let alone weeks, months and YEARS. I might rise from a coma to mute a song/ad jingle/sound like that. It's hard for me to hear something and *not* listen to it - I can't just switch off my attention.
Load More Replies...I laughed at the idea of how this person might explain mammy only liking one song, and listening to it over and over again. How I remember the days of singing the same song over and over, or reading the same book 15 times in one day!
But how long did those episodes last? this is two years... I don't have that much patience.
Load More Replies...I wouldn't call that disordered or anything like that, just some silly quirk she has. If she doesn't drive him insane with the Kingdom Hearts track, he should just let her be. It does sound like something autism based, I've got Asperger's and as a kid, I never understood why my mother would get fed up listening to the same song for 8 hours on repeat whereas I didn't have any problems at all. I did eventually grow a broader music taste that I can listen to on repeat tho.
I'm sorry to say it would drive me nuts to hear the same "noise" over and over for hours, let alone weeks, months and YEARS. I might rise from a coma to mute a song/ad jingle/sound like that. It's hard for me to hear something and *not* listen to it - I can't just switch off my attention.
Load More Replies...
17
32