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Woman Decides She’ll Spend Italian Vacation With BF Being Hit On By Locals, He Thinks Otherwise
Interview With Expert
![“AITA For Refusing To Do Anything With My GF In Italy [As] She Said Something That Disgusted Me?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/girlfriend-flirting-italy-fb48-png__700.jpg)
Have you ever heard somebody say that going on vacation with your partner is the biggest test of whether you are ‘suitable’ for each other? Especially the first vacation together. Well, it applies not only to relationships – traveling with friends may also uncover some unseen sides of them and let you understand whether you want to have that friend as your travel buddy.
However, coming back to traveling with your significant other, while it may bring you closer together, it may also make you consider ending your relationship. For example, one Reddit user recently took his girlfriend to Rome only to find her trying to see if Italian men would flirt with her as she had heard.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Traveling with your partner may create many beautiful moments together, but also can end in heartbreak
Image credits: ira dulger (not the actual photo)
Man shares that he and his girlfriend went to Rome on their vacation, but he noticed that she spent quite a lot of time getting ready, which was unusual for her
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
He noted that while he didn’t think much about it, during their walk through the city, she kept wandering off from him
Image credits: Griffin Wooldridge (not the actual photo)
Well, after her disappearance again, he found his girlfriend talking to some local guy when he finally had enough and insisted she tell him what was going on with her
Image credits: u/Alarming_Play_7896
Apparently, she heard that Italian guys would hit on tourists and wanted to see it for herself, which led to them spending almost no time together for the rest of the trip
A few days ago, one Reddit user took his story online seeking to hear community members’ opinions about his recent vacation. He and his girlfriend went to Italy together; however, she kept wandering off to see if Italian guys would hit on her. The whole situation left him furious and being called a jerk. The post received a lot of attention, collecting over 16K upvotes.
The original poster (OP) starts his story by explaining that about 6 months ago, he and his girlfriend started planning a vacation – he wanted to visit Japan, but she insisted on going to Italy, which they did. On the first day of their trip, she was getting ready for quite a while, which he noted was a bit odd, but didn’t think much of it. However, as they walked through Rome, she kept wandering off from him.
OP added that he kept asking what was wrong with her, to which the response was always ‘nothing’. However, that was when he found her talking to some local guy and insisted she tell him what was going on with her. Apparently, she heard that Italian men would hit on tourists and wanted to see it for herself. Obviously, this made OP livid, to say the least.
For the next week, they didn’t really spend time together – he spent his time however he wanted, while she could spend it however she wanted. After coming back home, his girlfriend confronted him, telling him he was a jerk to get mad over such a little thing.
The community members scolded OP, but for not the same reason as his girlfriend – for not breaking up with her as soon as they came back. “NTA. She used you for a free trip. Go find someone who really wants to be with you,” one user wrote. “Just break up with her dude. You’re 24, you’ll find someone else. This isn’t a complicated situation,” another added.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
“To some extent, it is normal to want validation and acceptance from others. We live in a world where lots of us post photos and comments on social media to receive some form of recognition,” shared Laura Jane, a trained life and solutions coach who has spent six years reading and researching relationships, who Bored Panda contacted for an interview.
However, she added that seeking attention can also stem from issues such as low self-esteem, insecurity and feeling lonely. “In this case, the girlfriend may have dressed up and flirted as a cry for help. Maybe she wanted to test her partner to see if he cared about her talking to other men. Or perhaps she hadn’t felt desired for a long time and wanted to feel attractive again.”
Now, speaking about attention. We asked Laura Jane if seeking attention from others is considered a normal behavior in relationships, or if it often signals underlying issues – “Attention is difficult to define because we have different ideas of what is acceptable,” she started. “Getting back to social media as an example, some people believe posting selfies is attention-seeking while others say it’s a sign of confidence.”
She emphasized that if one partner seems to be seeking attention excessively, whether through flirting or other means, it may indicate a lack of emotional fulfillment in the relationship or issues with self-esteem. “You are not responsible for your partner’s esteem. However, you can encourage them to seek professional support and provide a safe and secure space to talk.”
Finally, Laura Jane explained that every couple should set clear boundaries on what is and isn’t acceptable. “If a partner knowingly steps over these boundaries, this could be a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Another warning sign is if the attention-seeking affects your emotional health.”
The expert also pointed out that disagreements on these types of issues can suggest that your values are not aligned. It is useful to pay attention to themes or patterns as opposed to isolated incidents. “One random occasion of putting more effort into their appearance or being unavailable is unlikely to be anything serious. But a sudden shift in behavior like a consistent change in appearance could suggest infidelity.”
So, guys, don’t forget to check out The Style of Laura Jane, where you can find dating, relationship, self-love and intimacy tips, as well as her Instagram page! And coming back to the story – what do you think about it? Share your insights in the comments below!
Redditors were surprised that the man didn’t break up with his girlfriend
What do you think ?
FreeTheUnicorn 7 months ago
My experience as a tourist in Rome is that flirting is a euphemism for cat calling, grab assing and older men saying gross things. It's constant and it's scary. It isn't young handsome Italians chatting with you at the market. I don't think this post is real, or I think Italy was chosen due to it's reputation, this happened probably at home.
UpupaEpops 7 months ago
Currently, there's an Instagram trend about how you need to go to Italy because the guys are ridiculously hot. Given the ages, it might be the GF bought into it. Granted, there are a lot of hot men in Italy, but you can find hot guys virtually everywhere. My experience in Florence was great. It was mostly my age group and a respectful "ciao bella". But then I was constantly mistaken for a local.
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Zull&Panda 7 months ago
As italian and as a person who lived in Rome for a great portion of her life: she saw the reels. Romans don't care about flirting with tourists. Yeah, if you're being flirty with a waiter or a guy in general, they'll probably flirt back. Romans are smart, funny and always know what to say. That said, as I was saying, 100% this brainless girl saw the reels about hot waiters and hot cops in Italy. So, as italian, this is my advice: AMERICAN GIRLS DO NOT FLIRT WITH ITALIAN COPS. They are NOT to be trusted. And for the love of god, when you go drinking or dancing, be f*****g careful. The kind of places you go to in Rome are often filled with s****y italian guys (normal people don't go where tourists go), so don't be naive and don't romanticize Italy and always assume you're not street smart enough to compete with creepy guys.
FreeTheUnicorn 7 months ago
My experience as a tourist in Rome is that flirting is a euphemism for cat calling, grab assing and older men saying gross things. It's constant and it's scary. It isn't young handsome Italians chatting with you at the market. I don't think this post is real, or I think Italy was chosen due to it's reputation, this happened probably at home.
UpupaEpops 7 months ago
Currently, there's an Instagram trend about how you need to go to Italy because the guys are ridiculously hot. Given the ages, it might be the GF bought into it. Granted, there are a lot of hot men in Italy, but you can find hot guys virtually everywhere. My experience in Florence was great. It was mostly my age group and a respectful "ciao bella". But then I was constantly mistaken for a local.
Load More Replies... Zull&Panda 7 months ago
As italian and as a person who lived in Rome for a great portion of her life: she saw the reels. Romans don't care about flirting with tourists. Yeah, if you're being flirty with a waiter or a guy in general, they'll probably flirt back. Romans are smart, funny and always know what to say. That said, as I was saying, 100% this brainless girl saw the reels about hot waiters and hot cops in Italy. So, as italian, this is my advice: AMERICAN GIRLS DO NOT FLIRT WITH ITALIAN COPS. They are NOT to be trusted. And for the love of god, when you go drinking or dancing, be f*****g careful. The kind of places you go to in Rome are often filled with s****y italian guys (normal people don't go where tourists go), so don't be naive and don't romanticize Italy and always assume you're not street smart enough to compete with creepy guys.
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