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Becoming a parent is a special moment that many people can’t wait for. But for some, such a moment comes as more of a surprise than for others.
For this 19-year-old, the idea of him becoming a father was introduced by a girl he had a crush on. Having fallen pregnant with someone else’s child, she wanted him to be the father of her yet unborn baby; as did her parents, who pressured him, telling him to “be a man” and “step up”. Scroll down to find the full story in the young man’s own words below.
RELATED:
Starting a family is a decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
This 19-year-old was pressured to agree to father another man’s baby
Image credits: Joel Rivera-Camacho / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: BassPsychological293
While many people can’t wait to become parents, some choose to remain child-free
Needless to say, raising a child is a huge responsibility; one that people should think long and hard about before trying to wave down a stork carrying a bundle of joy. And while some are ready to bear said responsibility and face any challenges—and joys—that parenthood brings, some people are simply not willing to undergo all that it entails.
Consequently, many people nowadays choose to remain child-free. A Pew Research Center survey carried out earlier this year found that out of child-free adults aged 50 and over, roughly a third said that the reason they didn’t have offspring was simply because they never wanted to. (A similar number of respondents said they didn’t find the right partner to have kids with and roughly 40% shared that it “just never happened” for them.)
Close to 40% of respondents reported that they did want to have kids at one point in their lives, and roughly a quarter admitted that they were never sure about it.
Many children in the US live in single-parent households
Image credits: Tanaphong Toochinda / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
While some people plan on becoming parents and others don’t, unexpected things in life happen all the time, and they can make one change any plans they had fairly quickly. Some change in life entails individuals with kids becoming single parents, and that is in no way a rare scenario nowadays.
According to Pew Research Center’s data from 2019, the US had the world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households. Close to a quarter (23%) of kids in the US under the age of 18 lived with one parent and no other adults, which is more than three times the share of kids around the world who live in one-parent households (7%).
According to Statista, more children in single-parent households live with their mother only; last year, the number of such kids was roughly 15,000, while those living with a single dad only added up to just over 3,000 kids. Some sources suggest that moms aged 16 to 19 comprise less than 1% of single parents.
Judging from the fact that she wanted the OP to father her child, it looks like the expectant mom he had a crush on did not want to be a single parent. And while the redditor didn’t cover much ground regarding the baby’s father, the woman chose the OP instead of him when it came to who would get to raise the little one.
But the OP wasn’t interested in being a father figure to her child. And it’s safe to assume that the pressure he faced from the woman’s parents didn’t make him doubt his decision. In addition to that, his own father was pretty clear about what he thought was best for his son and many people in the comments seconded his opinion; they believed that refusing to father the woman’s child in no way made the OP a jerk in the situation.
The young man shared more details in the comments
Fellow netizens didn’t hold back their opinions on the situation and the probable motives of the soon-to-be-mom
Some people, jokingly, suggested that the OP was being a jerk
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What do you think ?
Livingwithcfs 3 days ago
If they try to put his name of the birth certificate, demand a paternity test
arthbach 3 days ago
Livingwithcfs, can people name anyone as the father on the birth certificate where you live? In my country, in a male/female relationship, if the parents are married, either parent can register the birth, and have their names on the birth certificate. If the parents are unmarried, they can register the birth together, or one parent can register by providing a legal document declaring the parents. - - - It's trickier when it comes to same sex parents. They can both be on the birth certificate, but certain circumstances need to be met. - - - However, the only way for a man to be added to the birth certificate without his presence or written permission is if he is married to the mother at the time of birth.
Load More Replies... 
Kristen Woehlke 3 days ago
OMFG!! The YTA trolls are extremely f*****g stupid! "Man up and take care of a kid that isn't yours"???!?!?!? F*** that noise! " A real man would take care of a baby that isn't his"?!?!!!!?? "You're a loser, sissy for not doing so"??? HELL NO! That is not his circus, not his monkey! What is wrong with you idiots? That was the dumbest thing I've ever read!
Apatheist Account2 3 days ago
In my book, "being a man" is doing what you want to do because you believe it's right, not doing what others think you should be doing. Why aren't her parents onto the baby's father to step up? Unhinged.
Tyranamar Suess 1 day ago
Why did he need a full on restraining order? Couldn’t he just block them?
Mark Childers 2 days ago
WTF? She should have used birth control at a bare minimum, both her and the loser who got her pregnant, and if she lives in a state where abortion is still legal, she had a choice. Now she's going to be stuck with a kid and no education. No wonder she's desperate. I'm glad this guy wants nothing to do with that mess. Poor kid. It will suffer for the stupidity of its mother. I have no patience or sympathy for people who are so nonchalant about bringing a child into this world.
Trillian 3 days ago
Yeah sure her patents want a meal ticket for her. If he was the father of course he would need to step up (although I don't think he should have to take care of the mother, she is an adult herself). If he wanted to date her and accepted the baby, fine. But this situation is utterly ridiculous and his dad is spot on: Tell them to go f**k themselves.
Nils Skirnir 3 days ago
Avoid the military right now. At least until you see what direction US is going. Lots of talk about invading Mexico, annexing Greenland, etc. Also know quite a few folks who’re in the Navy and they’re very unhappy so don’t listen to those who try to get you to do that
David 2 days ago
I doubt the US is going to invade anyone, including Mexico. One of the things Trump did his first term was no new Troop deployments and pullled back US troops from overseas. Trump is very much for US troops on our border with Mexico to stop illegals from coming over. Trump is very much against US direct troop deployments, and his choice for Defense, Hegseth is an isolationist.
Load More Replies...
DC 3 days ago
Red flags like a commie party event. On May, 1st, in Moscow pre 1990, attempting to make the Chinese jealous. NTA. And ... never cave in such cases. Whatever you didn't do, can't be on you. The knock-up-loser ... he around? Him, she could somewhat rightfully harass, but let's guess a bit here - "I'm taking the pill, don't bother, I don't exactly love how rubber feels, ..." - and he's totally unaware. Does she even know who he is?
Mike F 2 days ago
It reads like the girl's parents know and don't care for the "baby daddy" (my take on it) and want the OP as a son-in-law because he's a stand up dude.
Load More Replies... Livingwithcfs 3 days ago
If they try to put his name of the birth certificate, demand a paternity test
arthbach 3 days ago
Livingwithcfs, can people name anyone as the father on the birth certificate where you live? In my country, in a male/female relationship, if the parents are married, either parent can register the birth, and have their names on the birth certificate. If the parents are unmarried, they can register the birth together, or one parent can register by providing a legal document declaring the parents. - - - It's trickier when it comes to same sex parents. They can both be on the birth certificate, but certain circumstances need to be met. - - - However, the only way for a man to be added to the birth certificate without his presence or written permission is if he is married to the mother at the time of birth.
Load More Replies... Kristen Woehlke 3 days ago
OMFG!! The YTA trolls are extremely f*****g stupid! "Man up and take care of a kid that isn't yours"???!?!?!? F*** that noise! " A real man would take care of a baby that isn't his"?!?!!!!?? "You're a loser, sissy for not doing so"??? HELL NO! That is not his circus, not his monkey! What is wrong with you idiots? That was the dumbest thing I've ever read!
Apatheist Account2 3 days ago
In my book, "being a man" is doing what you want to do because you believe it's right, not doing what others think you should be doing. Why aren't her parents onto the baby's father to step up? Unhinged.
Tyranamar Suess 1 day ago
Why did he need a full on restraining order? Couldn’t he just block them?
Mark Childers 2 days ago
WTF? She should have used birth control at a bare minimum, both her and the loser who got her pregnant, and if she lives in a state where abortion is still legal, she had a choice. Now she's going to be stuck with a kid and no education. No wonder she's desperate. I'm glad this guy wants nothing to do with that mess. Poor kid. It will suffer for the stupidity of its mother. I have no patience or sympathy for people who are so nonchalant about bringing a child into this world.
Trillian 3 days ago
Yeah sure her patents want a meal ticket for her. If he was the father of course he would need to step up (although I don't think he should have to take care of the mother, she is an adult herself). If he wanted to date her and accepted the baby, fine. But this situation is utterly ridiculous and his dad is spot on: Tell them to go f**k themselves.
Nils Skirnir 3 days ago
Avoid the military right now. At least until you see what direction US is going. Lots of talk about invading Mexico, annexing Greenland, etc. Also know quite a few folks who’re in the Navy and they’re very unhappy so don’t listen to those who try to get you to do that
David 2 days ago
I doubt the US is going to invade anyone, including Mexico. One of the things Trump did his first term was no new Troop deployments and pullled back US troops from overseas. Trump is very much for US troops on our border with Mexico to stop illegals from coming over. Trump is very much against US direct troop deployments, and his choice for Defense, Hegseth is an isolationist.
Load More Replies... DC 3 days ago
Red flags like a commie party event. On May, 1st, in Moscow pre 1990, attempting to make the Chinese jealous. NTA. And ... never cave in such cases. Whatever you didn't do, can't be on you. The knock-up-loser ... he around? Him, she could somewhat rightfully harass, but let's guess a bit here - "I'm taking the pill, don't bother, I don't exactly love how rubber feels, ..." - and he's totally unaware. Does she even know who he is?
Mike F 2 days ago
It reads like the girl's parents know and don't care for the "baby daddy" (my take on it) and want the OP as a son-in-law because he's a stand up dude.
Load More Replies...
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