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30 People Online Answer “What Are Some Of The ‘Guy Code’ And ‘Girl Code’ Unwritten Rules That You Always Follow?”
In social situations, we follow plenty of unwritten rules. However, it can be smart to look up other cultures' customs for tourists or just check in to what is expected of you as a friend or a guest in certain situations. Unwritten rules of how people look out for close friends or strangers of the same sex are popularly referred to as girl code and boy code. There is plenty of comedy that pokes fun at those that take same-sex loyalty to the extremes.
u/bakedbutnotburnt asked Reddit "what are some of the 'guy code' and 'girl code' unwritten rules that you always follow?" The question was upvoted 42.9k times. Bored Panda selected responses people tended to agree more with, take a look:
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#1
If I offer someone a beer or other alcoholic beverage and they turn it down, I never push it. Sometimes I don't want to drink and I hate being pressured. Never pressure a drink on someone.
funkybluegirl 3 years ago
Yes! This is huge. I never understood why some people feel the need to push alcohol and/or drugs on others.
Answers about guy code seemed to focus on uplifting other men, helping a friend flirt or fight, how to treat women, friends' romantic partners, and who pays in what situation. However, the girl code was mostly focused on appearance, periods, including sharing menstrual products and when and how to tell someone about a leak, and safety, especially from men. Both addressed topics of cheating in a committed relationship. Some people responded universally for any sex.
RELATED:
#2
As a guy that lifts weights and has brought some of his other male (and two female friends) into the fold - you never, EVER, slander another person's weight on any lift. If your friend is 250 pounds and only benches 135, but is trying his a** off - then you never make a sound other than howling intense encouragement at them.
The rule in my basement is - everything is heavy to SOMEBODY. As long as you're giving it your full-a**, then the number is irrelevant.
#3
Brocode: If a girl passes out at a party, you're not allowed to touch her. Make sure one of her lady friends knows ASAP, preferable a relatively sober one.
#4
If your friends help you move, you are expected to a) be packed already... And b) provide pizza and beer.
One person responded to the thread with "As a lady with autism, this has to be one of the most useful threads I have ever read. All these unwritten rules about how to treat others socially don't naturally occur to me. I feel like I have gained new powers! Thank you thank you thank you."
#5
Girl code: if something is fixable within five minutes (make-up, something stuck in teeth, small things on appearance) you tell her and help her if needed, if it isn't fixable on the spot, you keep your mouth shut and ESPECIALLY don't point it out to others.
Softball05 3 years ago
Yes!! One time I had a girl shout at me about a particularly bad breakout across the classroom, and the entire room went silent. Don't do this. It feels horrible- they're already aware of it
#6
Female here.
If you see another girl crying in the bathroom of the bar/club/venue you're at, you ask what's wrong and try to help.
If you have a tampon or pad to spare and someone needs it, even if it's someone you hate, offer it to them.
If a girl looks distressed or uncomfortable with the guy who is hitting on her at the bar/club/venue you're at, she's now going to be a new member of your crew! This one is a little tricky, but it's usually pretty obvious when someone needs an out but can't manage it or is frozen or intimidated. If you see it happening, try to catch her eye because she'll be looking around. Once you make eye contact it's pretty easy to figure out if she needs an out, then swoop in and do the whole "Hey girl! Where the crap have you been, we're all waiting over at the table for you!" And then you hook your elbow through hers and walk her back to your table of friends.
If you see a KNOW that a friend's boyfriend/fiance/husband doing shady, skeezy sh**, you tell that friend right away.
Pablo Ramos 3 years ago
Drunk girl at a club's restroom: "I'm gonna call my ex". Her friend and unknown girls in three stalls: "DON'T CALL YOUR EX!!"
Many autistic people use masking as a strategy to thrive and survive in social settings. According to Healthline, masking is mimicking behaviors of neurotypical people, like forcing eye contact, developing a repertoire of rehearsed responses to questions, ignoring sensory discomfort, and practicing body language.
#8
Bros before ho*s, but not before wives. Sure it’s sucks when a buddy has to stay home for a weekend camping trip, but if his wife’s sick and they have a 3 month old, it’s probably best that he keeps his family’s interests above your own haha
#9
In his home, you always call another man's dog a good boy
#10
Should a bro die in a weight lifting related accident, a bro will add atleast 100 lbs to the bar before reporting the incident
Masking is often used when it is not clear that neurodiversity would be accepted, or clear that it won't. However, Healthline describes the practice as costly since multiple studies found heightened stress and depression in those who do it; there is also a risk of delay of autism identification. Instead, Healthline recommends accepting neurodivergent people as they are.
#11
If someone offers to pay, you should ask them if they are sure. If they are, then it is rude to further reject what is supposed to be a kindness on their part.
"I got the bill."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, don't worry about it."
"Thank you."
Immortal Emperor Paradox 3 years ago
It depends. Some of my relatives are big misers. Getting money out of them is like winning the world cup.
#12
The person who buys the shots, makes the toast
Too many times I've seen someone buy a round of shots, and someone else jumps in with a toast
If you want to make a toast, buy a round!
#13
Dude if there’s like 8 open urinals DON’T TAKE THE ONE NEXT TO ME
MTV had a reality show called Guy Code. Their episodes ranged from "Manscaping, Sexting, Bottle Service and Camping." to "Friends with benefits, rejection, shopping and freshman year." Later it got a spin-off, Girl Code, with episodes like "Curing Boredom, Hobbies, Sexual Pressure." Singers, comedians like Pete Davidson, and other celebrities often appeared on the show.
#14
I will wingman any man. I don't even have to know you. Hell, I'll wingman any woman too. If you are trying to make an impression on someone you think you'll hit it off with, call me. I love love and am always willing to help make it happen.
#15
Guy Code -If your drunk bro is about to cheat on his girlfriend, you must follow through with one intervention. If he says he doesn't care, you did your part and are free from any responsibility.
Mimi M 3 years ago
No - if it's a good friend, you drag them away and save them from themselves. If they aren't drunk, then the above may apply.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
My policy is to mind my own business. People must make their own stupid decisions.
Load More Replies... Immortal Emperor Paradox 3 years ago
Alchohol does not change your morals, so that's one shitty friend I'd like to keep my distance from.
Vanta Black 3 years ago
I did this. Dude went for it anyway, came clean to his girlfriend, and she dumped him. Dumbass was in that relationship for 6 days, and she was a keeper.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
I think the normal understanding is it depends on whether you are "more" friends with one or the other. So you try help out the person you are "more" friends with.
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PandaGirl85 3 years ago
Yess! If nothing else, try to put some sense through their thick skull
snipergun 3 years ago
You forgot you tell the girlfriend. I can't count how many times guy cheats on girlfriend / wife and his friends despite having family like contact with their spouse tell her nothing. I literally never saw guy friend telling that, like who the hell deserves to live being cheated, all his friends know, they come for lunch in weekend or game nights, and noone tells you. Unbelievable.
Ebony Rose 2 years ago
If I was the gf being cheated on, I'd want to know. If a person close to you is cheating, I think you have a moral obligation to tell their partner. You could literally be protecting her from an STD, keeping her from defending a man to her social circle who (unbeknownst to her) has evidence against him (which would be humiliating for her), or at least helping her to get her affairs in order so she isn't caught in a really vulnerable situation.
#16
If you see another girl in an uncomfortable situation, you try to get her out of there or at least let her know that you got her back. I've done it for everyone, from my sister, to my friends to my friends moms. One time at a school event, my best friend's mom somehow ended getting an unsolicited massage from another parent with boundary issues and I quickly made an excuse up that I needed help at the concession stand. No one is too old or too young to do this!
On the more lighthearted side, in my experience, when you hug another girl, you always try to slot the boobs by going slightly to the side so that you don't just mash your chests together and hurt someone.
Sometimes American comedy points out the obsessive rigidity some people follow guy and girl codes with. In the sitcom How I Met Your Mother, the character Barney, who has a well-paying job and flirting skills that land him plenty of one-night stands, making him a stereotype of a man who other men want to be, keeps referring to the rules of the Bro Code. Later the Bro Code book was published inspired by the show.
#17
Be generous with your closest friends.
Buy them an occasional beer or their favorite soft drink without "keeping score" of whose turn it is to pay.
#19
You can make fun of your own kid all you want with your buddies if he isnt around, but you NEVER make fun of your bros kid, no matter what.
Lord Mysticlaw 3 years ago
I think this goes very generally for all family members. I can say my kid is a brat, you can't. I can say my mom is a maniac, you can't. For the same reason, if my friends says her husband is an asshole, I don't agree very enthusiastically, I tread very very carefully.
What are some of the unwritten girl code or guy code rules you follow? Does it make sense that they are different for women and men? Which ones do you agree with?
#20
I only had one chance to exercise this girl code rule, but once i was passing a girl in the lobby of a building and she told me that she had just gotten a straight perm and was waiting for the rain to pass before she went outside so I let her share my umbrella for 4-5 blocks while we walked to a bus stop together.
I would do that for any woman if it happened again.
(perms are $200+, can take up to 3 hours and are ruined if you get them wet within 48 hours of having the procedure done)
#21
When your best friends dies, you have to delete his internet history. Common courtesy.
ShriSha Kamboj 3 years ago
when they die.......u enact that thing out that ur best friend wanted
#22
My personal thing is that if I ask someone to come on a trip with me, no matter the distance or how much gas it'll take, I don't ask for gas money. I asked them to come on the trip with me, their company is payment enough. I don't like when people ask me for gas money when they insisted or asked me f I wanted to come along for something. I come on this trip with them, for all I know they could just be using me for gas money.
Also, who pays for who on a date I believe should be totally contingent on who took the initiative to ask. If I ask Her out, I will offer to pay but I won't Insist, if she'd like to pay for herself.
ShriSha Kamboj 3 years ago
by default, it must be 50-50.....but i one insists please don't insist back
#23
When guys fight, we never hit the groin.
It's against the Geneva Convention /s.
ShriSha Kamboj 3 years ago (edited)
depends on the fight ig...what if they are trying to kill u?
#24
Guy code: when greeting someone and you're not sure if they're a hugger, always shake their hand first... it allows them to throw up the other arm for a hug if they're down for it.
#25
when a girl says "i won't tell anyone" what she really means is "i won't tell anyone except my best friend"
#26
If I hear a girl say she needs a hair tie I will immediately hand one over, even if I’ll only have one left for myself.
ShriSha Kamboj 3 years ago
lmao yeah......but just don't expect it to be returned back......good if it is.....but if it's not then not a big deal
#27
Treat your friend's girl as if she's a guy
Doctor Strange 3 years ago
How about treat your friend's girl as if she is a person who deserves respect in her own right, not just because she is dating your friend?
#29
If their bedroom door open, be careful to sound your approach before popping in. Never know what he's up to.
#30
I hear this a lot in casual conversation: A: You know __? B: no? A: Wait, you don’t know __?!
My boss speaks English as a second language and he pointed out how common this type of interaction is & said it is off-putting. I really try to be mindful of it now!
What do you think ?
Troux 3 years ago
The most common themes seem to be, Girl code: How to take care of others; Guy code: How to get girls
Jacob Nunez 2 years ago
No not really some is common curtsey and privacy and another is respecting another’s girl or helping someone get a girl. I understand what ur coming from. But it’s not the majority.
Load More Replies...
Kitty Jordan 3 years ago
When I smoked, the code was that you always give a cigarette to someone who needs to bum one, but you never take someone's last cigarette. (And you are universally hated if you're one of those people who "don't smoke" or are "trying to quit" by not buying cigarettes and just bumming them off the people not lying to themselves.)
Grayson Wrigley 3 years ago
Yes! Someone needs cigarette, unless they're a minor, you hand one over no questions asked. Give them a light too, if they need it. A related pet peeves though: people who bum a smoke, then stand there, finish less than half of the cigarette, and then put it out in a way that destroys the rest of it. Those things cost money!
Load More Replies...
Mimi M 3 years ago
Here's Girl Code: When my friend (when I was a teenager) expressed any interest in a guy, he was totally off limits until or unless she changed her mind.
Kuato 3 years ago
Also for guys. If your buddy is into a girl, even if she starts flirting with you, you do not engage. (Damn you Thomas. I would have done that for you. You didn't even care about her. You just wanted to get laid.)
Load More Replies... John Dilligaf 3 years ago
The bro code: If I'm interested in dating your sister, I run it past you first
John Dilligaf 3 years ago
The Code: Those secrets you learned in grade school and "crossed your heart and hope to die" swore you'd never tell? I don't care how old you get, You take that sh*t to the grave
Kyndal T 3 years ago
I grew up with one girl code I always thought was childish. You never date a friend's ex. As an adult, I agree. To an extent. If your friend was in a serious relationship with that person, don't go there. If it was minor, talk to them first. Other important codes? Never leave a friend at a party you invited them to unless they know someone else there as well as they know you. Never push someone to drink if they say no. People do this to me all the time and I don't drink. Haven't in 5 years and it's just a personal decision and doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic ffs. If you just suspect someone is cheating on your friend (or anyone really) then you better have a reason before telling them. Have a safe word/phrase with friends when you go out too. Creepy dudes abound where women hang out. Sometimes, telling someone that their emailed test results came back positive is all it takes. Embarrassing but easy.
El muerto 3 years ago
this is a list for kids right? i mean, no sensible adult would take any of these seriously...what girls do, what boys do...perhaps people just need to expand their horizons a bit. you know, like hung out with other people that are not the same gender age and skin color than you maybe?
Robert Thompson 3 years ago
I treat everyone the same. Girls think I am flirting, guys think I am weird. Truth, I am some where in the middle. I Just like having friends. And I don't mind being nice to people.
Allen Lavine 3 years ago
Guy code: if a man is barbecuing all other men must be by the grill same as working on a car
Alexei Arntzen 3 years ago
They really were tho. It's like they collected a bunch of people, let them be raised by wolves, then gave them access to reddit
Load More Replies...
Linda Milly 3 years ago
My sister charged me $8 petrol to drive me to a city hospital to check if I had breast cancer.
Troux 3 years ago
The most common themes seem to be, Girl code: How to take care of others; Guy code: How to get girls
Jacob Nunez 2 years ago
No not really some is common curtsey and privacy and another is respecting another’s girl or helping someone get a girl. I understand what ur coming from. But it’s not the majority.
Load More Replies... Kitty Jordan 3 years ago
When I smoked, the code was that you always give a cigarette to someone who needs to bum one, but you never take someone's last cigarette. (And you are universally hated if you're one of those people who "don't smoke" or are "trying to quit" by not buying cigarettes and just bumming them off the people not lying to themselves.)
Grayson Wrigley 3 years ago
Yes! Someone needs cigarette, unless they're a minor, you hand one over no questions asked. Give them a light too, if they need it. A related pet peeves though: people who bum a smoke, then stand there, finish less than half of the cigarette, and then put it out in a way that destroys the rest of it. Those things cost money!
Load More Replies... Mimi M 3 years ago
Here's Girl Code: When my friend (when I was a teenager) expressed any interest in a guy, he was totally off limits until or unless she changed her mind.
Kuato 3 years ago
Also for guys. If your buddy is into a girl, even if she starts flirting with you, you do not engage. (Damn you Thomas. I would have done that for you. You didn't even care about her. You just wanted to get laid.)
Load More Replies... John Dilligaf 3 years ago
The bro code: If I'm interested in dating your sister, I run it past you first
John Dilligaf 3 years ago
The Code: Those secrets you learned in grade school and "crossed your heart and hope to die" swore you'd never tell? I don't care how old you get, You take that sh*t to the grave
Kyndal T 3 years ago
I grew up with one girl code I always thought was childish. You never date a friend's ex. As an adult, I agree. To an extent. If your friend was in a serious relationship with that person, don't go there. If it was minor, talk to them first. Other important codes? Never leave a friend at a party you invited them to unless they know someone else there as well as they know you. Never push someone to drink if they say no. People do this to me all the time and I don't drink. Haven't in 5 years and it's just a personal decision and doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic ffs. If you just suspect someone is cheating on your friend (or anyone really) then you better have a reason before telling them. Have a safe word/phrase with friends when you go out too. Creepy dudes abound where women hang out. Sometimes, telling someone that their emailed test results came back positive is all it takes. Embarrassing but easy.
El muerto 3 years ago
this is a list for kids right? i mean, no sensible adult would take any of these seriously...what girls do, what boys do...perhaps people just need to expand their horizons a bit. you know, like hung out with other people that are not the same gender age and skin color than you maybe?
Robert Thompson 3 years ago
I treat everyone the same. Girls think I am flirting, guys think I am weird. Truth, I am some where in the middle. I Just like having friends. And I don't mind being nice to people.
Allen Lavine 3 years ago
Guy code: if a man is barbecuing all other men must be by the grill same as working on a car
Alexei Arntzen 3 years ago
They really were tho. It's like they collected a bunch of people, let them be raised by wolves, then gave them access to reddit
Load More Replies... Linda Milly 3 years ago
My sister charged me $8 petrol to drive me to a city hospital to check if I had breast cancer.
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