You are fundamentally a decent human. By refusing to be transphobic, you inadvertently outed your abuser and freed yourself. Good for you!

I liked one line in particular: Alex is Alex

omg i'm trying not to cry. what a goddamn wholesome guy. i hope he finds someone who appreciates him. people like him give me hope for humanity.

Good job dude. Faith restored in humanity, at least temporarily

Team OP and Alex!! Let's give Alex a shoutout. Think about it. When OP is telling Alex about gf's crazy, what is Alex concerned with? He asked about OP's wellbeing, if he was abused, and offered his therapist. Alex is the kind of friend everyone would be lucky to have.

Confession: I'm a boomer. Also, I love this generation. Y'all give the rational amongst us hope.

Finding a roommate who's quiet, cleans up after themselves, and pays their portion of the rent on time is the trifecta. And as time goes by, if Alex feels comfortable to share, he'll share.

Girlfriend is a toxic bigot who sounds dangerous, as in have made trouble for Alex once she'd had confirmation. OP did the right thing, seems to have found a good friend as well as roommate, & is moving forward with better info about identifying & defending himself from abuse.

It ended up strangely wholesome. The OP accepted Alex, and protected him when he could, and then Alex ends up helping the OP deal with his own demons. I think that both Alex and the OP have found the perfect housemates.

I'm glad OP and Alex have a better friendship, I wonder what the statute of limitations is for him to press charges against the ex for grooming and predation? She isn't just an abuser, she's a gd predator.

A whole lot to unpack but kudos to OP to have his priorities straight and recognizing that the relationship was indeed abusive. It is not always easy from the inside and it seems that mum carries a bit of the guilt. I hope he will be allright and admire him for his attitude despite the circumstances.

Wow! This turned out good in so many ways - good roommates are now friends, concerned with each other's welfare (after OP explained some abt what was going on with XGF, Alex's 1st reaction was to ask if OP was ok since that relationship was abusive - an eye-opener for OP); OP has learned a lot abt trans people & the way they're so often treated & has taken steps to ensure Alex's safety where they live. A couple of nice guys, helping & looking out for each other. As for XGF, another "Wow!" What a outrageous, over-the-top reaction to something she suspected & decided was the truth. She turned out to be right abt Alex being trans but how ignorant she is: She accused OP of living with a woman - no, he's living with a trans man. Yes, Alex's birth certificate says he was female at birth but he's transitioning to male - has had the top surgery but not the bottom. Does she even know where the term "trans" comes from? She's way beyond transphobic - she's whatever the word is that means she hates trans people, & she's possibly dangerous. OP was brave to break up with her after so many years (the controlling/abuse probably started because she was so much older & experienced when she & OP got together) & he had made it clear that he would not stand for ultimatums. So, XGF can head back to her hateful, judgmental world while OP & Alex have a friendship that's beneficial to them both. Go, guys!

Alex, what a great person you are. The world needs more Alexes. You’ll meet a beautiful, caring lady that shares your values

OP threw away a long-term relationship in favor of his roommate. Considering that his ex-girlfriend is 28, and he's still an immature 22, she's much better off without him.