El Dee did not say all white people are racist, they said a lot of white people don't see racism. And that's true. As a white person who went to a mainly white school, I was surrounded by people who didn't think that racism was really a thing anymore, despite the evidence to the contrary. People often don't see what they don't experience. Again, that isn't an accusation toward you personally, it's a true statement. It's not their fault you feel attacked by it.

I am sorry. I think that ElDee didn’t mean that but you are right. A lot of “antidiscrimination” people (anti racism, anti homophobia...) become as discriminatory as the people they are fighting. They assume that x person must be racist or homophobic or rich and privileged just for their skin colour, their sexuality etc. I always defended people against bullying (for being gay, not white, a woman etc). I am tired to be told that I am a bigot just for being white and straight. I am also tired of them telling me how privileged I am. Yes, in those aspects I am. But I am also a woman, a non gender conforming person, disabled and a migrant. I am in no way a privileged person and it hurts.

--and I hope our world can learn and understand that everyone is different and that stereotypes are just a huge waste of our time and that we are killing ourselves by believing them. Good day to you, Ma'am. (PT 2)

Nobody ASSUMES you're racist, sight unseen, but if you're already trotting out the black friends......It's a racist country. It's going to be invisible to the people it benefits, while it's inescapable to the people who it's inflicted on. Seventy per cent of the population is white, 10% black. Black people effectively can't escape it because it's all around them. White people don't see it because there's a lot fewer black people around. Plus, Prager U is crap.

Because our world is so incredibly stupid and believe in stereotypes that lead to people like George Floyd being killed. I am sorry that you have to endure that pressure of being an anti-racist white woman, but still people think you are racist because of your skin color. It works both ways in our world. If you are black, the stereotype of being a criminal and poor and unwelcome is common, but now we have the stereotype where if you are white, you are automatically racist because of our ancestors. When I say that I find it incredibly hard for me to be bi-racial, I mean it. I am both black and white and that makes me stand out, and unable to fit in. So I understand how you feel entirely. It does not help your case when now there are videos of "Karens" going crazy. The fact that 99% of them are, white, feminine, most of the time Trump supporters, homophobic, and racist doesn't help your case what so ever. So again, Ma'am, I apologize sincerely for the treatment that you get-- (PT 1)

After being told by a black man that he is fed up white men like me prejudging him I came to the conculsion that us white women need to ally better with black folks. We are so divided that no one can see who is actually on the same team as them

"many white people" doesn't mean "Carol Emory is a racist", but whoa nelly you're on the defence there huh?

I want to commended you on how effortlessly you were able to turn yourself into a victim in this conversation. I just can't...

That's nice. And I know men who rage that women with more education and experience shouldn't get that b/c .... well, essentially, b/c the man is "better" at the job. He hasn't held it, of course, but he is positive he'd be better at it. ........

That's the beauty of science, evidence, and research. It goes far beyond anything that you - or anyone else - "personally knows".

And---‽ Yeah, let's pick the rando online versus decades of science.

I know women who are still told excuses for why they are paid less: you aren't responsible for a family, you might get pregnant, that sort of thing. We may still be in the 1960's in some companies.

are you working on an award wage, or a contract? it's been shown that when negotiating contracts, women undervalue themselves. Push for a raise. but be ready to show why you deserve it, just like a man would have to do in the same boat

I'm not sure what your laws are where you live (Are you in the UK? USA?) but if you have proof that he makes more, even though you do the same job, you can use that as fodder to get equal pay. THAT SAID - often times pay is more like a "band" rather than a singular amount. This accounts for performance, time at the position and, yes, asking for raises. So a single job may have like a 10k band where you could sit anywhere in there and still be considered an "appropriate pay". If you think you're being paid unfairly, the best thing you can do is get support from this male colleague and take it to management (or HR) because that's a lawsuit waiting to happen for them. Tbh it would be cheaper for them in the long run to pay you more than deal with whatever lawsuit fallout could come from you suing for inequality.

It's more about childcare commitments influencing the choice of job women take, not "you need childcare, so I'll pay you less". The jobs that tend to be more flexible, or have hours that can accommodate leaving to collect children from school or nursery tend not to be the high flying career ones. It's also (and this is changing in a lot of EU countries, but the UK tends to favour the US model) slightly frowned on for a man to leave to collect his children if they're sick - it can even be detrimental to his career if he makes that choice. I don't know why you're paid less than your colleague - in Europe that would be illegal, and your childless state wouldn't be a factor (also illegal to be taken into consideration).

(I accidentally hit 'Post') My boss told me I "didn't need the money because I was single and had no children to support."