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“Am I wrong for asking my brother not to bring his boyfriend to my wedding?”
8.8K

“Am I wrong for asking my brother not to bring his boyfriend to my wedding?”

Groom Wants To Know If He’s Wrong For Not Letting His Secretly Gay Brother To Come Out To The Family At His Wedding“Am I wrong for asking my brother not to bring his boyfriend to my wedding?”Groom Asks If He's Wrong For Asking His Gay Brother Not To Bring A Date So It Wouldn't Ruin The WeddingGroom Wants To Know If He's Wrong For Not Letting His Secretly Gay Brother To Come Out To The Family At His WeddingGroom Tells Closeted Gay Brother To Not Bring His Date To The Wedding, Asks If He's WrongGroom Doesn't Let His Gay Brother Come Out During His Wedding, Wants To Know If He's The Bad Guy HereGuy's Gay Brother Wants To Come Out During His Wedding, Groom Asks Him Not ToGroom Doesn't Let His Secretly Gay Brother Bring His Boyfriend To The Wedding, Wants To Know If He's In The WrongGuy Feels Bad For Asking Gay Brother Not To Bring His Date To The Wedding, Asks If He Did The Right ThingGay Man Wants To Come Out At His Brother's Wedding, But His Brother Doesn't Let Him
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The subreddit ‘Am I The A**hole‘ describes itself as a “catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that’s been bothering you.” With 1.2 million followers it has become an active and fascinating place for discussing ethical dilemmas of all kinds, as we continue the ancient human tradition of trying to figure out the morality of wrong and right.

This particular scenario is a difficult one. It forces a well-meaning guy to choose between hurting his beloved brother’s feelings, or potentially ruining his own wedding day – something that means the world to his fiancee.

Image credits: DragonImages (not the actual photo)

The OP seems to want only the best for all concerned and is trying to avoid hurting anybody. In the end, he made his moral choice based on what would cause the least damage – but he’s still unsure if he did the right thing. In an attempt to assuage his guilt, he asked the moral arbiters of the community what they thought:

“Am I the a**hole here?”

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A tough one indeed! However, it appears that there is a strong consensus that the OP did the right thing here, and there are definitely more appropriate times for brother to make his coming out of the closet announcement.

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What do you think? Did OP do the right thing here? Scroll down to read the discussion below and let us know your thoughts in the comments!

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    Here’s how people reacted to the dilemma

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    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    Read less »
    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    James Caunt

    James Caunt

    Writer, Community member

    Read more »

    James is a Bored Panda reporter who graduated with a BA in Peace And Conflict Studies and an MA in African Affairs. Before Bored Panda, he was an English teacher and also travelled a lot, doing odd jobs from beer-slinging to brickie's labourer and freelance journalism along the way. James loves covering stories about social and environmental issues and prefers to highlight the positive things that unite us, rather than petty internet squabbles about fictional characters. James is the grumpy, contradictory one who thinks that Bored Panda, due to its large audience, has a social responsibility to inspire and inform its readers with interesting issues and entertaining, well-researched stories. Let's do our bit to make our little corner of the internet a smarter, more truthful and less angry place!

    Read less »

    James Caunt

    James Caunt

    Writer, Community member

    James is a Bored Panda reporter who graduated with a BA in Peace And Conflict Studies and an MA in African Affairs. Before Bored Panda, he was an English teacher and also travelled a lot, doing odd jobs from beer-slinging to brickie's labourer and freelance journalism along the way. James loves covering stories about social and environmental issues and prefers to highlight the positive things that unite us, rather than petty internet squabbles about fictional characters. James is the grumpy, contradictory one who thinks that Bored Panda, due to its large audience, has a social responsibility to inspire and inform its readers with interesting issues and entertaining, well-researched stories. Let's do our bit to make our little corner of the internet a smarter, more truthful and less angry place!

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    Ale_Vidal23
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    in my opinion the groom is in full right. it's not the right moment to come out with that kind of an info. his gay brother should accept that, if not he is acting very selfish and just loves to stand in the spotlight. so the groom doesn't have to feel bad for deciding in favor of HIS most important day

    Antihero
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    "That kind of an info" Why he needs to explain anything at all? There is no need before the wedding, not at the wedding or afterwards. Let him and his boyfriend have an amazing day and celebrate together. I don't get why he didn't invite the boyfriend from the beginning and asked his brother if he wants to bring his boyfriend.

    Load More Replies...
    Mewton’s Third Paw
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This site should be called Best of Reddit. Not much need for comments here because comments we all agree with are posted within the article.

    Billy Storm
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    do you mean - only 'good' or "upvoted" comments are posted within the article? if so, that's not the least bit fair.

    Load More Replies...
    Mikey
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a gay man that has been in a somewhat similar situation, if my sister had asked me NOT to bring my boyfriend to her wedding for fear of the ensuing drama I'd respect that. It's not my day, it's hers. I can be a queen any ol' day.

    Load More Comments
    Ale_Vidal23
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    in my opinion the groom is in full right. it's not the right moment to come out with that kind of an info. his gay brother should accept that, if not he is acting very selfish and just loves to stand in the spotlight. so the groom doesn't have to feel bad for deciding in favor of HIS most important day

    Antihero
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    "That kind of an info" Why he needs to explain anything at all? There is no need before the wedding, not at the wedding or afterwards. Let him and his boyfriend have an amazing day and celebrate together. I don't get why he didn't invite the boyfriend from the beginning and asked his brother if he wants to bring his boyfriend.

    Load More Replies...
    Mewton’s Third Paw
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This site should be called Best of Reddit. Not much need for comments here because comments we all agree with are posted within the article.

    Billy Storm
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    do you mean - only 'good' or "upvoted" comments are posted within the article? if so, that's not the least bit fair.

    Load More Replies...
    Mikey
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a gay man that has been in a somewhat similar situation, if my sister had asked me NOT to bring my boyfriend to her wedding for fear of the ensuing drama I'd respect that. It's not my day, it's hers. I can be a queen any ol' day.

    Load More Comments
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