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You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn’t like comedy! Luckily for us, the internet is chock-full of comedians—amateur and veteran alike—who light up social media with their quips and funny insights.
Today, our team at Bored Panda is featuring some of the most hilarious posts and comments, as shared by the women of X (formerly Twitter). Scroll down to check them out! These should brighten your day. And we hope you have a notepad handy because if you’re looking for humor-related inspiration, this is digital gold!
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#3
Kiem Gallagher 4 months ago
I just always press whatever number the "I want to pay" option is and it will immediately take me to a human and then I break it to them that I'm not trying to pay, I'm trying to complain so please transfer me to customer service.
The BBC reports that it’s not just human beings that enjoy a good laugh. Some species of animals are into humor as well! Not only that but they might also use it to strengthen the bonds between them.
A study from the University of California Los Angeles looked at great apes’ daily routines. Our closest living relatives, including orangutans, chimpanzees, bonobos, and gorillas, were found to tease each other.
#6
VikingAbroad 4 months ago
I really thought there was something wrong with my new washing machine. The 30 minute programme is actually a 40 minute programme. Just, why? And why do I forget this fact from one day to the next?
LizzieBoredom 4 months ago
The extra 10 minutes are out looking for your sock.
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Vincent Bevort 4 months ago
Just look at it starting the next time. It will do nothing for the first few minutes, thinking about what the hell it is supposed to do. Then, between every cycle, it is thinking again and again and … . All these minutes of thinking are not counted for the duration of the complete cycle.
Michael Largey 4 months ago
My washer and dryer measure time in two completely different ways. I suspect one is using imperial while the other is metric.
Aerial (Any pronouns/Canadian/Jewish) 4 months ago
Wait the numbers on a washing machine are supposed to be time? I thought they were like, honestly I don't know what I thought they were.
Carrie Laughs 4 months ago
My old machine it didn't tell me anything, my new one does. It also has sensors that test what it's doing and sometimes it will add time if it decides its not done. Bossy.
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Carilyn Beverly 4 months ago
Seriously... I go to check: 10 minutes left... 10 minutes later... 17 minutes left, then after 15 minutes... 20 minutes left... and before 2 minutes have gone by... DONE/FINISHED
Doozle bug 4 months ago
2 Washing Machine minutes is an eternity compared to running for the bus 2 Minutes
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 4 months ago
The machines in my building are of the basic, older model type machines. Even though the dryer is fairly new, supposedly, as I watched it get replaced a few months ago. The machines don't give you any idea of how much time each particular setting takes to complete. So you just kinda have to guesstimate. I unfortunately/fortunately share a wall with the laundry room so I can hear the machines, for when they stop. It's roughly about 30 minutes for the washer and about 45 minutes for the dryer.
Huddo's sister 4 months ago
I don't see why they bother with the 'minutes' since they don't actually tell you how much time is left.
Ruth F 3 months ago
It's because it estimates how long based on the options you choose. Then a few minutes after it starts, and continuously throughout the wash, it senses the state of your washing load, mostly the size of it, and adjusts the amount of water needed, how much agitation, and so on. It's the same with a modern dryer. It has a sensor to tell it how dry your load is. If it's a tiny load, the sensor won't be touched enough and you will have to repeat, or put on timed dry, but otherwise it will know to keep going until your load is dry. If they're cotton towels it will take longer than thin synthetics.
Jude Laskowski 3 months ago
Each washing machine in my apartment complex works on a different time zone.
Janice Seagraves 3 months ago
I had a washer that took four hours to finish a load. I had to call a tech twice to get it fixed and by that point the only thing to do was replace the machine.
somnomania (she/her, queer) 4 months ago
washing machines use (american) football minutes. two minutes left in the game, and an hour later you might see the end of the game.
Gordon Hall 4 months ago
Computers do that too. My best is "a few moments" that takes at least five minutes.
Jacquie Carr 4 months ago
Literally saw yesterday in tiny print in my washer manual that the programme timings given may be inaccurate by upto 1.5 hours. 1.5 hours!! It's just blatant lying in their sales info
Ovata Acronicta 4 months ago
My washing machine is totally accurate, but the dryer's suggested time is never right.
The Shark 4 months ago
My washing machine timer is never even remotely accurate... 9 minutes somehow stays at 9 minutes for about 20, and sometimes 35 minutes has magically become 20. 🤷🏼♀️ I guess my washing machine grew up wanting to be a calculator, but it's lack of number sense relegated it to do humans' dirty work.
Shelby Richeson 4 months ago
WAIT, THANK YOU?? I have a timer oh my phone to check the wash and it's NEVER CORRECT on the machine?!
Brian Droste 4 months ago
My washing machine is in real minutes. My previous washing machine was off by ten minutes though.
Laura ballam 4 months ago
washing machine in my building will say 1h05 and sometimes its 55 minutes somethings 1h20... always different. I think its because washing machines can tell how heavy the load is and adapts accordingly
Cathy 4 months ago (edited)
Ok but y'all know it is because the machine has a sensor to check if the laundry clean, and the dirtier your clothes are the longer it takes..
CBolt 4 months ago
The service person who does annual maintenance check on our W & D said not to use fabric softeners or dryer sheets. They leave a film on the heat sensors in both machines & result in the running time being off. (Once mentioned this to my MIL & she said, "You can always buy a new washer & dryer but your clothes have to smell good & be soft. Uh .........)
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“What we saw often was that a juvenile would sneak up behind an adult that was busy grooming another ape, and proceed to poke them or hit them on the back, sometimes even surprising them,” Isabelle Laumer, one of the researchers of the study, told the BBC.
#7
Huddo's sister 4 months ago
The thing is, they are addictive to those who don't need them, not those prescribed. It's crazy how many hoops you have to jump through, when addicts are just getting them on the street anyway. I don't know anyone with ADHD who would give up their meds for cash, since they are the only things that make them feel 'normal'.
“They'd then wait and watch for the adult's response. Usually, the target would just ignore them, and so they'd persist in their teasing, making the behavior more and more elaborate and difficult to ignore, until they sometimes ended up slamming the adult with their entire body.”
This sort of behavior is akin to human beings sticking their tongues out at someone else and then running away.
Other species of animal are likely to have a sense of humor, too. Other species of animals are likely to have a sense of humor, too. Dogs, foxes, wild coyotes, and wild wolves also tease each other, as researched by Marc Bekoff from the University of Colorado, Boulder.
The ecology and evolutionary biology expert added that he’s also heard stories of some species acting like stand-up comedians and jokesters. Among these animals are horses, Asian black bears, and the scarlet macaw.
Meanwhile, the BBC also reports that rats are ticklish while dogs and chimps can actually laugh.
It’s hard to argue about comedy because each of us has a unique sense of humor. What you find funny can be subtly different from what makes your family and friends giggle. Meanwhile, a coworker or passing acquaintance of yours might not even smile at the things that make you wheeze with laughter.
The same holds true for social media posts: a lot depends on your personal taste and what humorous content you grew up with. Some internet users are huge fans of dark humor with an edge. Some prefer cheesy and silly dad jokes. Others might enjoy more subtle, nuanced, and layered jokes that really make you think.
#16
Johnny McFearless 4 months ago
For God's sakes woman, it was you from the future who invented the time machine, did betting on all the correct results she knew, and wanted to win money in the past so that you could have fun!
At the end of the day, no comedian is going to satisfy their entire audience. Not everyone will laugh. However, that’s the way of the world.
You can’t make everyone happy, no matter what. But if enough people are giggling and guffawing at your content, you can add your joke or quip to your list of successes.
#20
Pan Narrans 4 months ago
I'm early and park in the same spot for years. When I have a new car people are astonished when they see me. 'I thought you had a day off.' Sometimes I'm late and that spot is taken. When I walk in a college saw me 'oh, I thought you had a day off, sorry'. I've never claimed that spot.. humans are creatures of habit.
#21
However, if your skits and posts don’t make much of a splash, whether in person or online, you may want to consider changing things up. You should also consider the feedback you get. There will always be folks who hate what you do, no matter how high you rise.
So, you need to look at what criticism is valid and helpful and what’s simply people venting because they’re in a bad mood. If you take every negative comment to heart, you’ll soon lose any and all motivation that you had.
#22
Chihuahua Mama 4 months ago (edited)
Yeah, why though? A fridge is a very normal appliance to have in your home.... edit: in US and Canada appliances are usually not hidden. The dishwasher, fridge and stove are all very much visible except in the wealthiest of homes
Like Bruce Lee once said, “Absorb what is useful. Discard what is not. Add what is uniquely your own.” Finetune your comedy until you’re making more and more people laugh. Of course, that’s easier said than done. It requires a ton of patience, lots of passion, and the willingness to experiment until you get things right.
Truly successful comedians iterate and polish their quips over time. They have a growth-oriented mindset and see failure as a lesson in the making, not as the mark of something ‘bad.’
When you stop avoiding failure and set your ego aside, you can grow incredibly quickly. It also helps if you can quickly get to grips with what your audience likes. You wouldn’t try to amuse a crowd full of cheesy joke-lovers with edgy humor, and vice versa.
Which of these tweets made you chuckle the most, dear Pandas? Were there any that genuinely got you laughing out loud? What kind of comedy do you prefer in person, and what quips do you enjoy the most on social media? What’s the best joke you’ve recently seen pop up on your social media feed?
We’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts in the comments.
#33
Red PANda (she/they/he/ze) 4 months ago
Bahahaha I feel this! When my social battery runs out it’s time to just follow my friend around like a shadow for the rest of the party
#37
Pandamonium 4 months ago (edited)
Mine is a bit dramatic. It used to send me alerts saying it was stuck on a cliff and then I would find it dangling over the edge of the stairs
#39
𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦-𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 4 months ago
Just a thought.... that's when you pop a small rodent in your mouth, chew it like gum for the blood, and spit out the leftovers into a napkin. Just sayin....
#44
PeepPeep the duck 4 months ago
Waiter IRL ‘ sorry we don’t actually have watering cans at this restaurant’ In the waiters head ‘why the fùçķ would we have a watering can at work’ (we generally water plants at work with a beer jug 😂).
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What do you think ?
Trillian 4 months ago
No but I also can't tell you what like 30% of them even meant?
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Lesbitarian Lady 3 months ago
SHOW THEM ALL BP ! These are all great, superb and hilarious. Why do you rob us of laughs when the entire world needs them. I'm in the US and if orange felon wins, there'll be no reason to laugh at all come Nov 6. Keep all of the laughter coming, please
Jude Laskowski 3 months ago
If the former president wins, hopefully we'll go back to 2.7% mortgage interest rate, lower grocery prices and $2.50/gal gasoline, instead of the $4.89/gal we have now in San Francisco. You must not have to pay bills.
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Trillian 4 months ago
No but I also can't tell you what like 30% of them even meant?
Load More Replies... Lesbitarian Lady 3 months ago
SHOW THEM ALL BP ! These are all great, superb and hilarious. Why do you rob us of laughs when the entire world needs them. I'm in the US and if orange felon wins, there'll be no reason to laugh at all come Nov 6. Keep all of the laughter coming, please
Jude Laskowski 3 months ago
If the former president wins, hopefully we'll go back to 2.7% mortgage interest rate, lower grocery prices and $2.50/gal gasoline, instead of the $4.89/gal we have now in San Francisco. You must not have to pay bills.
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