X, formerly known as Twitter, has become a playground for everyone from politicians, to celebrities, comedians, companies, the guy or girl next door, and even their pets. The platform's limited characters and fast-paced nature make it the perfect platform for hilarious one-liners, sarcastic quips, dad jokes, and clever clapbacks.
There's never a shortage of funny posts on X, and November was no different. The sarky moms, funny dads, and the generally jokey human beings didn't disappoint. It was hard to single out the funniest tweets from this month. But after much deliberation, Bored Panda managed to do it. Keep scrolling for the November Dump of tweets that had us in stitches.
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My wife is pregnant, we find out the gender in 2 weeks. We will probably just text everyone--simple (can't stand the over the top reveals)
You're really not doing it right. You have to go to a local beauty spot dye the river either pink or blue fire off some confetti cannons of non biodegradable confetti, and dye some white doves either pink or blue with toxic dye that will probably end up killing them. Come on get with the program.
Load More Replies...Shouldn't gender reveals be postponed until the kid is old enough to tell us?
Didn’t want to find out the sex (not the gender!!) of either of our kids. It was the happiest moment welcoming healthy babies into the world. I didn’t look between their legs, just at their crumpled and beautiful little faces. My husband told me what their genitalia looked like after we’d had our first cuddles. Which sounds a bit weird!
I'm fine with it being done as part of a baby shower using a cake - because who doesn't love cake? But for the love of God stop using guns and explosives.
I'm a cake decorator and the good news is that over the past few years, I've seen "gender reveal" orders getting fewer and fewer. Also, I used to do huge elaborate cakes for gender reveals, but lately it's mostly just two cupcakes for the parents to have a special moment.
It's the sex you can reveal. Sex. Don't be shy of the word. Babies and animals: sex, not gender.
Gender reveal parties are stupid and sometimes dangerous. Either put on the baby shower invitations if it's a boy or girl, tell people or wait until the baby is born for everybody to find out.
Jimmy Carr joke: We're having a gender reveal for our kid, but we want to wait til it's 21, we want to be sure.
That's probably the first inoffensive joke I've ever heard attributed to Jimmy Carr. Are you sure??
Load More Replies...I would just wait until the child is born and sends out cards to close family and friends...
It'll be at least a few months before the child can write well enough to send out cards.
Load More Replies...My favourite is when the baby is born and the doctor announces the gender.
Wow! And I was sure that gender reveal parties were to inform guests about one's own gender perception...
When I was pregnant and people asked me if it was going to be a girl or a boy, I always said, "I HOPE so! ... I'd prefer that to an alligator ..."
When my wife was pregnant the doctor asked if I wanted to know the gender or if I wanted to be surprised and I said whenever you tell me it will still be a surprise
Some people -- including at least one father-to-be -- have been KILLED in these ridiculous show-offs.
I posted a pic of three pairs of shoes, the smallest ones were blue. That's it.
I just put random pictures of blue stuff on the family WhatsApp until somebody figured out. That was fun.
Or wait until the baby is born and then everyone has a wonderful surprise.
I miss the era when my son was born (early 80's) when they didn't do an ultrasound as a matter of course, only if there was a problem. (At least that's how my doctor worked.) I didn't know his gender until he was born. What difference does it make what gender your child is?
Ours was when our daughters came out. You can buy yellow and green clothes anywhere. They offered to tell us, we weren't having it.
You can buy blue or pink, too, even if you don't know the baby's sex. You know babies won't complain about colours, don't you? They are far more intelligent than the adults around them.
Load More Replies...But, but, but, what about finding out that there IS a gender?!?! Can't we do that? R/s
I (62) fell the other day, but not in an old man sort of way. It was in a tried-to-hop-into-sweatpants-and-wound-up-in-one-leg sort of way. 62 going on 6.
The gate is down and the lights are flashing but there is no train coming.
I was working as a filler substitute teacher at a high school. Walked into a chemistry class. After taking attendance one of the kids asked for a small white board because "I think we summoned a demon yesterday while the other sub was here." They needed the white board to communicate with it by making their own ouija board. I asked if they tried holy water. They said they were looking on Amazon for some. School is weird these days.
When I get out of the swimming pool and someone is just getting ready to get in the water I tell them "I warmed the water up for you."
He's been gone a long time but I still sometimes hold the door open shouting, "Look dad! I'm heating the entire neighborhood!"
I really hope this is more of a workaholic situation and not a she didn't have a choice situation.
A voice from the Heavens that sounds a lot like the dungeon master bellows, "Well, open the wall, idiot!" as thunder crashes and arrows begin to rain down.
I miss not staring at someone like they just stabbed a baby because they coughed.
On BP ee don't seem to have so many Marketing Bots anymore. That's nice. ("My name is Anastasia Cybertron and I make $10 million a week without even breathing...")
little hack for that - if it's a pack that doesn't have the hard plastic support at the opening, snip the opening about 15mm bigger on one side then you'll only get one - if the pack has a hard plastic support, put a hair band over the packet at each end, then you'll only get one (btw, they do this on purpose so you'll use more)
I’ve not heard one hummingbird complain and they’re way smaller than us and doing all the work themselves, as for geese I haven’t heard them complain my guess is they take it out on us
That's why I quit writing those things down. "Smrga doff Dunkin' overboard lass."
Two brooms leaning against each other would be like a romcom poster
It was a cruel Bastard who termed obsessive compulsion a DIS-order... Order is everything to obsessive compulsives
I’d call this list mostly confusing with a sprinkling of faint smiles. Maybe it’s a culture thing - I’m co-writing a script with an Indian guy and there’s a noticeable difference in what we both think is ‘hilarious’.
I thought it was brilliant - very funny, very diverting. Yes, much of it was completely incomprehensible without the comments, but that didn't seem to matter. I'd like more like this.
Load More Replies...What was funny here? I don't get it. I finally gave up on reading it.
I think you need the right kind of warped humour. I seem to have it. Middle aged Brit if that helps. I think StarCrossedFriday is right - it's a culture thing.
Load More Replies...What was the actual point of this eclectic collection of mostly meh?
Instead of Google Translate, we needed BP Comments translate to decipher half of these depending on what generation you are in.
That's part of why I love BP and its community. We have all ranges of ages, cultures, locations, etc. so usually SOMEONE can translate for us and then we all can share in the humor, even if some of the initial presentations thereof are frustrating XD
Load More Replies...This is the tabloid version of "downright hilarious", ie one or two mildly amusing.
Maybe, but a lot funnier than lists of awful parenting or arguing over airline seats.
Load More Replies...Think I must have had a stroke towards the end because some of them made no sense whatsoever.
Some of the comments seemed to indicate that you need to be under the influence of strong, possibly illegal, d***s to understand them.
Load More Replies...I thought it was fine, BUT WHY DO I NEED A SUBACRIPTION TO ENJOY BORED PANDA FURTHER
My twitter account got suspended within a week for violating some policy. Still have no idea what I wrote that made the bots mad, and haven't bothered to get back on it since. Glad I never bothered now that the South African menace owns it. That said, the Iron Sheik made the best insane tweets.
On the other hand, now I know what to do with the bottle of Worcester sauce I bought on a whim.
I’d call this list mostly confusing with a sprinkling of faint smiles. Maybe it’s a culture thing - I’m co-writing a script with an Indian guy and there’s a noticeable difference in what we both think is ‘hilarious’.
I thought it was brilliant - very funny, very diverting. Yes, much of it was completely incomprehensible without the comments, but that didn't seem to matter. I'd like more like this.
Load More Replies...What was funny here? I don't get it. I finally gave up on reading it.
I think you need the right kind of warped humour. I seem to have it. Middle aged Brit if that helps. I think StarCrossedFriday is right - it's a culture thing.
Load More Replies...What was the actual point of this eclectic collection of mostly meh?
Instead of Google Translate, we needed BP Comments translate to decipher half of these depending on what generation you are in.
That's part of why I love BP and its community. We have all ranges of ages, cultures, locations, etc. so usually SOMEONE can translate for us and then we all can share in the humor, even if some of the initial presentations thereof are frustrating XD
Load More Replies...This is the tabloid version of "downright hilarious", ie one or two mildly amusing.
Maybe, but a lot funnier than lists of awful parenting or arguing over airline seats.
Load More Replies...Think I must have had a stroke towards the end because some of them made no sense whatsoever.
Some of the comments seemed to indicate that you need to be under the influence of strong, possibly illegal, d***s to understand them.
Load More Replies...I thought it was fine, BUT WHY DO I NEED A SUBACRIPTION TO ENJOY BORED PANDA FURTHER
My twitter account got suspended within a week for violating some policy. Still have no idea what I wrote that made the bots mad, and haven't bothered to get back on it since. Glad I never bothered now that the South African menace owns it. That said, the Iron Sheik made the best insane tweets.
On the other hand, now I know what to do with the bottle of Worcester sauce I bought on a whim.