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The dreaded ex. Most of us have got them. There are millions of occasions when the situation is resolved with an amicable, mature ceasefire that can even blossom into a beautiful friendship. Sadly, there are just as many occasions when the asshole can frankly just drop dead for all you care, together with his savage text fails.

In these times of instant messaging and easy contact at the touch of your fingertips, it can be just too tempting for the eschewed ex to reach out and test the waters. An uncalculated text from your ex can end up causing an explosion of emotions with WW III proportions. Bored Panda had compiled a list of times when people came up with the perfect response to these unwanted advances, some of them are just deliciously devilish and undoubtedly funny texts.

Scroll down to check out the list of ex-texts and funny messages, and may the force be with you while dealing with your senseless ex.

#1

Worse Than A B*tch

Worse Than A B*tch

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    #3

    Slowly Suffocating

    Slowly Suffocating

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    WhiteFox
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH THAT WAS SO PERFECT 👌

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    #7

    Savage Burn

    Savage Burn

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    traduction: i date other people for one year and now that i'm single again, i can't stand it. So i texting you again so we can got back together.

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    #9

    It Reminds Me Of You

    It Reminds Me Of You

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    Neeraj Jha
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it's not much of a bothering, I would like to have that Pizza Place's number.

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    #19

    No Second Chance Here

    No Second Chance Here

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    #20

    Cheating Accidentally

    Cheating Accidentally

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    Virgil Blue
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Accident? Like "I tripped and fell and accidentally poked my dong into her. Then I had to move around vigorously to escape." Just replace some words if the other one cheated.

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    #22

    Fact Check

    Fact Check

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    Lucida
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husbands ex did that when he and I started dating. She: "Oh, I love your beautiful big blue eyes" Him: "My eyes are green..." Hahaha! Stupid girl!

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    #34

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    sh
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isn't pizza everyone's thing? Almost like saying, "I heard someone say oxygen today; made me think of the air we used to breathe together."

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    #37

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    #40

    Punch In The Face

    Punch In The Face

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    Echo
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jeez the down votes are kind of harsh on this reply. You just assume he is a looser I guess?

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    #48

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    #54

    Hint Hint

    Hint Hint

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    #61

    Not Keeping Tabs Here

    Not Keeping Tabs Here

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    #62

    That's Not A Possibility

    That's Not A Possibility

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    Robert Morson
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like would require more context to fully appreciate this person's douchebaggery.

    It's Caturday 2.0
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it’s oretty clear. He’s bragging about having an interview for a nice job he needs to wear dress pants for by asking her to help him iron.

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    CelSlade
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like my ex tbh... constantly got txts asking me to find him phone numbers for plumbers or what he should do cause he has problems with his landlord. 'Till I told him to grow the f**k up. Manchildren! Blech!

    Amaranthim Talon
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow- You see boys why you should learn how to do for yourselves??? Please moms, teach your kids to iron, wash, cook and replace buttons!

    Laura Sherman
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even though it's sad they can't iron their own f*****g pants there is this magical store called the DRY CLEANERS. They will be happy to take your money while giving great customer service lmao XD

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    #70

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    #72

    I Know

    I Know

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    Zenozenobee
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Oh, baby, give me one more chance To show you that I love you Won't you please let me Back in your heart...."

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    #74

    Should've Kept It To Yourself

    Should've Kept It To Yourself

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    Santino Aznar
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why would you dirty those bowls and dishes? How can you bring yourself to do that? That's just nasty!

    #76

    God Bless

    God Bless

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This was a semi-genuine attempt at getting her back... well played.

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    #77

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    Neb
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would understand if that was sunglasses, but this would be unacceptable (unless they only want to threaten a bit). Yet knowing some of the eyeglasses prices... nop, a bad idea

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    #78

    Sorting Things Out

    Sorting Things Out

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    Krusty Shakelford
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sick of people demanding their 'time' back. You made the choice to spend time with someone. You get what you pay for. No refunds.

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    #86

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    #87

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