lol makes sense to me

Covering up yet ANOTHER hateful comment from David Patterson... He seems to be enjoying all the attention. Have a great day, everyone! ❤️

Why is this so true though?

Technically it was the fruit of a tree…

Imagine what a person looks like after eating a dozen donuts a day for two years.

wt omg true

A true and sad story of two chicks fighting for the fancy shoes

Except for the fact that some pay more than others and some earn a metric EFF TON more than others. In a subscription service everybody pays the same. A basic subscription to Comcast is about $25 a month. That is a lot more to me than a billionaire.

they really think the victorians couldn't have moved the pyramids if they wanted too? this is the generation that ate the mummies for dinner.. they had no limits

The lifelong sorority/fraternity

I am a 'why is the rum gone'-pirate

"Why am I here? What is my purpose in life?"

That's the sense of proprioception.

He's a funny guy, can always count on him.

No reaction? What was that screaming about then? 😂

Literally until your last breath.

If a moon isn't actually a planet, and it's the moon to our planet, does that still make us aliens to the moon? Or are we technically native to the moon considering it "belongs" to earth? Lol

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My man have you seen the nature in Oregon and the bordering states? I'd accept in a heartbeat.

You're hired

That's one way to put it

Here's a paradox for you. Pinocchio says my nose is growing. Will this make his nose grow? Is he lying or telling the truth?

True. But then when he told the truth, his nose *wouldn't* grow and everyone would think he was lying.

well lies can be revealed in other ways, e.g. by walking in on someone committing a deed that they deny happens

This would work. Because people would see his nose grow as he said this, and they would say he spoke the truth. Because come on man, did you ever see someone's nose grow?

Uh what a paradox.

Here's something she doesn't know. People who pose like that and take selfies in public restrooms have a significant mental/emotional problem.

It's not a sin whatever we call it.

I'm not sure why David got so many downvotes (on this specific comment) since, unless I'm reading his comment wrong, he was trying to make a joke? It wasn't necessarily offensive or anything imo?

“Hello, you’ve reached the Department of Redundancy Department.”

this hits hard at 2:43 AM

But what if my messing around is actually exactly what it sounds like, which happens to be messing around

"Appreciating" "and "attracted to" are two very different things.

I'm surprised this is here as a surprise. "Liquid bread" is an old expression.

This is the greatest dad joke ever

At the rate I'm going, I'll have to live forever to fill the first row.

...of anxiety

Good example of how people use privately owned 3D printers.

The amount of times I've seen this tweet on BP is insane

I will never unsee this.

How did he do that so fast?

Now that you put it that way, it sounds kind of romantic 🥰

well technically we still don't know.

Why i add "ish" to my times. ..... "Be there at 4:23-ish"

Well if it wasn’t for my crippling anxiety, my therapist wouldn’t have a job either!

Actually it's mostly fat. No muscle tissue in there.

This made me laugh

Big deal! I have never starred in a show rated under 99% on Rotten Tomatoes.

But guess who's paying the bill!

But the soap smells better.

George Burns said, "I want to live to be 100 because hardly anyone dies when he's over 100."

This should be #1.

Actually, since the tomatoes are fruit, it makes ketchup a smoothie.

Does anyone else love love love water chestnuts... they crunch in the best way