Writing is a bit like alchemy. You take a bunch of separate elements—like grammar, style, flow, passion, creativity, story, characters, twists, and turns—and you mix them together to get the result that you want. Sometimes, your experiments pay off and you communicate your innermost ideas to your readers. Other times, you mess up and accidentally write hilarious things without meaning to.
And, boy, do people make funny blunders often! It usually has something to do with a lack of understanding of how things like the elements of punctuation work. For example, some individuals find it hard to grasp how quotation marks should be used. And when they mess up, we’re left with suspiciously-sounding sentences and unintended double entendres.
We collected some of the best such examples from the ‘“Suspiciously” Used Quotation Marks’ subreddit, so scroll down, enjoy, check out our interview with one of the community's managers, and upvote your fave sentences. Be sure to let us know which ones made you laugh the hardest!
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Very "Useful" Tutorial
Oh No, Timmy
Starbucks Is Offering Everything These Days
Bored Panda spoke with Searchlights, one of the moderators for the '"Suspiciously" Used Quotation Marks' community on Reddit. We wanted to find out more about the subreddit, as well as why people misuse quotation marks.
"Misused quotation marks are something I've often noticed in daily life, and after seeing some caught-in-the-wild examples posted to subreddits like r/funny I got to thinking that it's an example of absurdity that is prevalent enough to have its own subreddit," Searchlights said about the founding of the community. "The challenges I've had in growing the subreddit has largely been a matter of time. The sub gains 10 to 15 subscribers per day organically, but on days when a post makes the front page I'll see an influx of hundreds or thousands of new subscribers. That usually happens a half a dozen times a year."
"The persistent problem with the subreddit is quality control. There are a lot of submissions that are redundant or that people just don't find to be funny."
I Feel So Sorry For That Actor
A "Loving Tribute"
This Is What I Think Of Your So-Called Allergy
Bored Panda was interested to figure out why so many people find it hard to grasp how quotation marks should be used. Here's what Searchlights had to say: "I tend to think it's related to the challenge of finding nuance and tone in text. People want to emphasize a word, and for whatever reason they think putting it in quotations gets them there."
"Generally, the use of quotation marks (when they're not an actual quotation) carries a connotation of sarcasm, or of a tongue-in-cheek admission that the thing in quotes isn't actually what it's said to be. That's what has the effect of making the statement suspicious," they explained. "My favorite examples usually come from the food service industry. There's something alarming about chicken being written dubiously as "chicken" (what is it, really?)"
My Husband Was Given This Notepad At His New Job. Most Discouraging Use Of Quotation Marks
Suspicious Church
That Is Unsettling
According to the Macmillan Dictionary Blog, there are some very good reasons why people misuse quotes. Usually, quotation marks (aka inverted commas) are used for quotations (wow, what a shocker!), to denote the title of a book or movie or some unfamiliar words.
What’s more, we use quotation marks to show that we’re using a word with irony or to demonstrate our skepticism. After all, if you call someone a writer in your article, it’s a compliment; on the other hand, calling them a “writer” would be an insult! The Oxford Manual of Style calls these ‘scare quotes’ and explains that writers use them to distance themselves from the words in question.
You Might Want To Clarify Your Acronym A Bit
So Many Questions
I Don't Think I've Ever Been More Intimidated By A Piece Of Mail
Now, here’s the (geeky) fun part: whereas some people stress a certain word by bolding it, underlining it or writing it in italics, certain individuals do this by putting quotation marks around them. And that’s wrong. Because most other people know that using inverted commas this way opens up the door to hidden meanings, sarcasm, and moral judgments.
But quotation marks aren’t the only abused part of punctuation. Commas have it hard, too, you guys. In fact, they get so upset when they get ignored that they completely change the meanings of some sentences out of revenge.
Look at the sentence “Let’s go get a little Italian, baby,” courtesy of Your Dictionary. It’s clear that the speaker’s suggesting to their partner that they should go out for Italian food. But! Remove the comma and the sentence changes! Now, the speaker’s suggesting to their partner that they go find a small child from Italy. Whoops!
Don't Know How I Feel About This "Plastic Surgeon"
I Don't Know If I Want To Visit This So-Called "Church" Of Yours
Suspicious Quotes
So remember, Pandas, write Fresh Fish instead of “Fresh” Fish and I Love That Dress, Sweetheart instead of I “Love” That Dress, Sweetheart. Unless you want to lose customers or get into an argument with your spouse, that is. And remember to put commas where they’re supposed to go.
Sir This Is The "Police"
Should I Doubt The Safety Of My Holidays?
"Sober"
"Befriended"
I'd Rather Not Touch The 'Rock', Thanks
I Also "Love" My Job
Rightfully Suspicious Quotes
Stop Mom! Free "Face Painting"
I Always Buy My "Candy" At My Local Bowling Alley
Uh, What Kinda Teacher Again?
"Nothing" In Car
Of Course. I Mean, What Else Would You Even Put In There
There is a shop that has bongs but sells them as “essential oil pourers” and another place advertises them as “vases”.
Uhm?
Yours? Hmm
Hate It When You "Accidental" Salmon
Mom, Are You Proud Or Not?
Yes, Officer, I'm "21"
21 feet tall? 21 deaths in Super Mario 64? 21 Kirby Plushies they sleep with?
"If" You Catch My Drift
It's Written On Police Cars
"Specialized In Various Specialties"
Mechanic Wanted
When Looking Up What McNuggets Are Made Of
Found This At A Secondhand
What... is even happening with this thing?! It looks like it came from Engrish.com or something. My favorite part is the ominously bold font for "LAUGHTER."
I've got the whole thing being read by Terry Pratchett's Death.
Load More Replies...Laughter should be in parentheses. That’s what you would do after reading that.
A What Now
Just Seen In A Microsoft Presentation. Yeah, It Sure Is
Chinese uses quotes to "emphasize" words. Maybe some of these were written by someone whose first language is Chinese. But I still think Timmy should steer clear of "Officer" Sandusky.
Interesting, that could explain a lot of those mistakes. Or alternatively, "explain" those "mistakes" XD
Load More Replies...There are many other ways to emphasize words without possibility of opposite meaning - bold, italic, **, uppercase.
Annoyingly can't use bold and italics on Bored Panda in the comments.
Load More Replies...Looks like most people don't know what quotes are for and how to use them. I laughed a lot :D
My friend put quotation marks where the apostrophe goes on his business cards for attention. He knew everybody who saw it would say something. People still remember and use his cleaning service
Nice use of a deliberate mistake! I suspect many online articles have glaring mistakes written into them so people complain and it ups their interaction stats.
Load More Replies...I can't get the vision of Dr. Evil saying these things and doing the quotation marks with his fingers
Many keyboards and websites don't offer any way to underscore words or letters so people use quotes, unaware that it traditionally means 'so-called.' I use have used underscores at each end of the word to _emphasize_ it without resorting to all CAPS. On some things, like FB and What'sApp that makes the letters go italic but that works too.
That's a good idea. I've always just put asterisks on either side of the words to *emphasize* them.
Load More Replies...These HAVE to be American. The only country where their mistakes make sense.
These would be funnier if some of them weren't obviously fake, like the Sandusky one. There are others, too.
The creator of the sub Reddit AND this article seem to interpret EVERY use of quote marks As "sarcasm". Pretty simpled minded.
I really love these, some of them are really "Priceless" and in the case of Timmy, Very "dodgy".
I think people were just trying to emphasize the words. In the children's book though, just a typo
In olden days of the typewriter, when there was no bold or italic option, an underline was used for emphasis not quotation marks.
People want to emphasize the point of the post or ad, but can't underline or italicize so they quote.
But most of these aren't online posts. The writers may be dumb as posts, though.
Load More Replies...Chinese uses quotes to "emphasize" words. Maybe some of these were written by someone whose first language is Chinese. But I still think Timmy should steer clear of "Officer" Sandusky.
Interesting, that could explain a lot of those mistakes. Or alternatively, "explain" those "mistakes" XD
Load More Replies...There are many other ways to emphasize words without possibility of opposite meaning - bold, italic, **, uppercase.
Annoyingly can't use bold and italics on Bored Panda in the comments.
Load More Replies...Looks like most people don't know what quotes are for and how to use them. I laughed a lot :D
My friend put quotation marks where the apostrophe goes on his business cards for attention. He knew everybody who saw it would say something. People still remember and use his cleaning service
Nice use of a deliberate mistake! I suspect many online articles have glaring mistakes written into them so people complain and it ups their interaction stats.
Load More Replies...I can't get the vision of Dr. Evil saying these things and doing the quotation marks with his fingers
Many keyboards and websites don't offer any way to underscore words or letters so people use quotes, unaware that it traditionally means 'so-called.' I use have used underscores at each end of the word to _emphasize_ it without resorting to all CAPS. On some things, like FB and What'sApp that makes the letters go italic but that works too.
That's a good idea. I've always just put asterisks on either side of the words to *emphasize* them.
Load More Replies...These HAVE to be American. The only country where their mistakes make sense.
These would be funnier if some of them weren't obviously fake, like the Sandusky one. There are others, too.
The creator of the sub Reddit AND this article seem to interpret EVERY use of quote marks As "sarcasm". Pretty simpled minded.
I really love these, some of them are really "Priceless" and in the case of Timmy, Very "dodgy".
I think people were just trying to emphasize the words. In the children's book though, just a typo
In olden days of the typewriter, when there was no bold or italic option, an underline was used for emphasis not quotation marks.
People want to emphasize the point of the post or ad, but can't underline or italicize so they quote.
But most of these aren't online posts. The writers may be dumb as posts, though.
Load More Replies...