ADVERTISEMENT

A recent study showed that about nine in ten Americans (88%) see love as the most important reason to get married. And it totally makes sense. With butterflies running errands in your stomach, making this most important decision of your life just feels like the right thing to do.

But as soon as you tie the knot, the game changes, the cards turn, and a new world of married life opens up to you. Both the biggest blessing, and occasionally a solid curse, living in a family unit with your significant other is full of hilarious little moments.

From finding out your husband eats spaghetti with a spoon, to 79% of your marriage being about texting each other the shared passwords, these are some of the brutally honest tweets from people who know it all too well.

#1

Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

lmegordon Report

Add photo comments
POST
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband cannot look behind the orange juice. It's like some sort of law of physics. He cannot move the OJ to find something else. So I hide chocolate there.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
RELATED:

    It’s no secret that married life is one heck of a task. Because it’s one thing to meet the love of your life, and another to actually commit to a lifelong healthy relationship.

    In a previous interview with Bored Panda, Suzann Pileggi Pawelski and her husband James Pawelski, the authors of "Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts," said that one of the biggest challenges that most newlyweds face is how someone can be sure that they're ready for marriage.

    Moreover, most newlyweds put all their energy into wedding preparations and totally forget what it’s all about. "A wedding is a magical day, no doubt, and of course something to celebrate, but what about planning for all the days to come in our marriage which is intended to last a lifetime?”

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #4

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    BattyMclain Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Nicole Tomme
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    New boredpanda article idea: Questions You Will Regret Asking Your Spouse.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu

    The book authors claim that most newlyweds believe that happily ever after happens naturally, but that’s wrong. “Research shows it’s healthy habits that build long-term love," they said. Without our effort, a successful marriage is hardly possible.

    “Popular culture seems to romanticize marriage, making people think that once you get married, you can merely ride off into the sunset together. That’s obviously not the case. It takes work." The couple concluded that healthy relationships take hard work, just like everything that's worth going for in life.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #15

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    survivingmommy_ Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Alexandra Lewis
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is brilliant. Why didn't I think of this? I have to rely on being able to recognise the sound of my partner's car as he pulls into the drive and a speedy reaction with the TV control.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #27

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    sarahcpr Report

    #29

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    TheNYAMProject Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Donny Gerdes
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a friend that whenever his wife gets mad at him he tightens the jar of pickles as hard as he can to force her to come to him to open it forcing her to speak to him lol married 60 years

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #31

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    maryfairybobrry Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #32

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    dlicj Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now imagine what would have happened if he mentioned that super tan lady they saw walking down the street last week....

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #33

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Thenatural
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This guy posts a lot...about his wife,his kids...and it seems his entire life is played out with a dialogue from a sitcom...seriously..I can almost hear the canned laughter with every tweet!

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #35

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    mommajessiec Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Scagsy
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My wife says I don't listen. The other day she was going on about eating healthy and some other stuff.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #36

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    WillemPenn
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does this include what the other person did in your dreams? Cause last night in my dream my husband went on vacation without me but this morning he refuses to apologize like "I don't even know why you are mad at me!" Oh you know why, Bob. You know why.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #37

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    David Martin
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My girlfriend will randomly return from the gas station with a 32oz soda for me if I haven't gone with her that time. Not every time, like two out of three, so it's a surprise when it happens. It's a small thing, but to me, that's a part of the love language; It says she loves me and was thinking of me

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #39

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    MetteAngerhofer Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Mark Serbian
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should have claimed it was not intended for him ... THAT gets things moving

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #40

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    mom_ontherocks Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Kate Yeti
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    😆 A few months after moving in to our home, our elderly neighbors were out working in their yard when the wife yelled ""OH, SHOVE IT UP YOUR #$%!" and stomped inside, slamming the door. My husband and I looked at each other lovingly and agreed that we want to be just like them when we grow old.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    Continue reading with Bored Panda Premium
    Unlimited content
    Ad-free browsing
    Dark mode
    #42

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    sarabellab123 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Borgia 137
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Warning: TMI Well, honestly i wear them all year long except for my period(when i use normal pads). Not for urine, but a discharge. I hate it on panties. But that's the price for being "ready" all the time, so i don't. complain.

    #43

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    mom_ontherocks Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Tabitha L
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not sure that parents can be blamed for people being messy. I had to make my bed every day as I child. Now, I never make the bed, and the first thing I do in a hotel room is to tear the bed apart. Made beds are oppressive to me.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #45

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    IndecisiveJones Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Pau Tea
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True. I always feel like my partner is not on my side when he doesn't hate the things/people I hate. Oh, the betrayal!

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #46

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    Social_Mime Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #48

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    Roy_oh_Roy Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #50

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    simoncholland Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Harold Summer
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This year I thought I remembered before she did and texted her "Happy Anniversary". Only to find out she had emailed me "Happy Anniversary" 30 minutes earlier. So close.

    #51

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Scagsy
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *Wakes up halfway through* Wait.. pause it. What did I miss? Must have nodded off there for a sec.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #55

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Just JoLynn
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why I take pictures of items I know my husband won't remember and text them to him.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #56

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    RodLacroix Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    AntiNutjob
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some people really do walk loudly. Trust me, we have floorboards.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #58

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    KentWGraham Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    BG
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She has no idea where her phone is, it's in silent mode... (it's in her bra).

    #59

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    PoodleSnarf Report

    #60

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    Divergentmama Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #62

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    mommajessiec Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Brenda
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband would SO say that! He can turn the most innocent comment into a sexual innuendo. Or is that all men?

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #63

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    smerobin Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #64

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    Peauxtassium Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #68

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    mommajessiec Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    *sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    no her 10 year old child coincidentally has the same name as the baby that she was going to have at her baby shower 10 years ago, and it is completely by coincidence that they would share the same birthday. That baby that she was supposed to have is hidden in the void now. There is no return.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #69

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    Lhlodder Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I started asking my husband directly to not leave dirty socks all over the house in 1993. It's 2020. He still does it, then says he "forgot". I had his doctor check his hearing, sense of smell, an deyesight. All good. He just apparently likes the "dirty sock" home decor.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #70

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    TheNYAMProject Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #73

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    RodLacroix Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    BG
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's 85F, you'll probably need to bring a sweater. My wife keeps a blanket in my convertible for summer drives.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #75

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    maryfairybobrry Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #79

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    simoncholland Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #84

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    graceupongracie Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They'd be able to find them if they hadn't moved in 68 million years like the triceratops skull. Just stop moving things!!!

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #86

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    RodLacroix Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Mewton’s Third Paw
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the number one funny argument I have with my fiancé all the time!! Why are you putting the dishes in that way!? How can he think pots could go on the bottom? Just let me do the dishes then! But no. Even after years, he always did his share of dishes but still puts them in the WRONG WAY!

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #87

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    simoncholland Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #88

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    simoncholland Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #89

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    SladeWentworth Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Dl B
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In our house it is one degree colder. She needs an extra blanket for every degree I turn it down.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #93

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    _troyjohnson Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #94

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    RodLacroix Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #95

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    thedadvocate01 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #96

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    daddydoubts Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #98

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    RodLacroix Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #101

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    lmegordon Report

    #102

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Lsai Aeon
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do this with my son, except he's in his room and I'm in the living room...

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #103

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    thedad Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Our plates are round, yet somehow I manage to put them with the wrong side up in the dishwasher.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #104

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    SladeWentworth Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Lsai Aeon
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my husband doesn't understand this concept, which is why he sleeps in the recliner in the living room...

    #106

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    3sunzzz Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #107

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    mommajessiec Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #108

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    bexley_lucy Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #109

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    pro_worrier_ Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #112

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    RunOldMan Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #113

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    3sunzzz Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #114

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    mommajessiec Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Scagsy
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'm Fine" is the equivalent of lighting the blue touch paper. Keep your distance

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #116

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    dadmann_walking Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #117

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    Lhlodder Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #118

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #119

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    bartandsoul Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    chi-wei shen
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Marriage: Someone else is taking over at least half of your life.

    #120

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    ThugRaccoons Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #123

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    thedadvocate01 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #124

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    pro_worrier_ Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Mark Serbian
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ex-wife did that. Twice. When I complained, she said, "You ALWAYS" say that!"

    #125

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    simoncholland Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a dangerous skill, especially when you do it while she's talking.

    #126

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #129

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    sarcasticmommy4 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #131

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    Chhapiness Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    NMN
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and stay really quite while doing that cos I also left it on vibrate only

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #132

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    RodLacroix Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #133

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    thedadvocate01 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #134

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    RachelNoise Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    NMN
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thats why the remote was also know as *the power* in my home when growing up

    #135

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    Darlainky Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #137

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    BigJDubz Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #138

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    BunAndLeggings Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #139

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    MarkAgee Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #140

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    R_A_Dadass Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Tiny Dynamine
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    That username tells me there's a lot of insecurity going on in his head!

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #141

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    sixfootcandy Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #143

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    maryfairybobrry Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #145

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    KarmaPolice238 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #146

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    RodLacroix Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #148

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    simoncholland Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #149

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    maryfairybobrry Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #155

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    sixfootcandy Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #157

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    FatherWithTwins Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #158

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    divergentmama Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #159

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    SvnSxty Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #160

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Mewton’s Third Paw
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah well.. stop watching such complex and complicated stuff! It’s not that serious!

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #161

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    chi-wei shen
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've offered it once and my wife accepted. Then she drove erratic on purpose so I never would do it again. It took her 10 years to confess what she's done.

    #163

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    Beagz Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #166

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    dadmann_walking Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #168

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    JustMeTurtle Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Annett Nyrud
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But normally she is probably thinking economy or compromise (what she thinks the other person(s) would enjoy), and for her birthday she chooses where she would really want to go (within economic reason)...

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #169

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    sarcasticmommy4 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #170

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    maryfairybobrry Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #171

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    Chhapiness Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #173

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #174

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    RodLacroix Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Katherine Boag
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Learn to do laundry properly jesus christ everything has care instructions on it.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #175

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    TheBoydP Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #176

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    SnarkyMommy78 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Tiny Dynamine
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I see she put the word 'sorry' in there. I guess she's addressing men, right?

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #177

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    daddydoubts Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #178

    Funny-Relationship-Marriage-Tweets

    3sunzzz Report

    Add photo comments
    POST