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Crayon murals on walls, mud soup, and constant screaming at the decibel levels of aircraft, children pack a lot of activity into such a small package. As a result, parents are hard-pressed to keep them alive while safeguarding their possessions and their own sanity. So it’s quite understandable why they might want to vent a bit online. 

Netizens and parents all over the world share their hilarious stories, experience, and advice on raising kids through Twitter. We’ve gathered some of the best examples out there, so get comfortable as you scroll through, be sure to upvote your favorites and comment your own parenting stories below. 

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    #2

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    emilykmay Report

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    Yeet_girl360
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did the math, if she ate it everyday for 9 months(average time needed to birth a baby), and the average McDonald's meal cost $8 USD it would cost about. . . $2,184. (sorry, I'm just extra bored today. smh.)

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    TheMomHack Report

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    Ge Po
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes that actually does the trick. Start wailing as loud as them, with those long, sighing gasps in between. A crying choir can turn into a laughing choir and/or stun them out of their self-dug pit of sadness. (It is important to give the 3yo a chance to explain why he was crying though, which will help them learn to talk about it, next time. Crying is okay as a way to release the first gulf of emotion, but talking can help you work through it, where crying would only drain you further.)

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    As chaotic as kids are, it can be equally funny (or disconcerting) when you realize that many do not exactly understand the implications of their actions. For example, younger children do not really understand the concept of betrayal, and by extension, loyalty, although the situations where one would ask a four-year-old for loyalty are few and far between. 

    This also applies to imagination, as younger children can struggle to understand that something is imaginary or hypothetical. They can, however, easily attribute emotions and values to fully inanimate objects. So a plate that falls and smashes, causing a loud, scary noise can be called “bad” by a child that didn’t enjoy the experience. 

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    As they grow older, they start to realize that there are things a little bit further beyond their own understanding and perspective. Before it, they truly think they can get away with anything just by saying it wasn’t them. Logically, if they say it, other people can not have any other information, hence, they have gotten away from it. Most kids grow out of this period, called the preoperational stage, by the age of seven. 

    #8

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    dadmann_walking Report

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    Ge Po
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband got his hands on an old switchboard. Best (most quiet) three months we ever had, as long as we ignored the 'click-clack' sounds! (Helped to put it away and then take it out again a few months later as well.)

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    While partially, this is a result of a brain developing and the actually high cognitive load needed to imagine things, it also has an interesting side effect, as it helps children develop a very stretched and primitive logic. Kids think that if they tell themselves something enough times, it can become true. By extension, they believe, this also works on adults. Does this work? No. But it's a good foundation for developing other complex ideas. 

    #11

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    SatiricalMommy Report

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    Merrill N. Munro
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is where he'll learn the fine art of lying about not bingeing the entire season of a show they're supposed to be watching with their partner...

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    Positive reinforcement, many teachers and adults know, is a good tool as well, but it can, at times, happen accidentally. Take a birthday party for example, which most kids tend to enjoy at some level. They might start to mix the positive emotions with the event and as a result, actually believe that one grows older only after a party. At the very least, kids will attach a very ritualistic significance to birthday parties. 

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    #13

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    bessbell Report

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    Jason
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We live rural. My son knows where his food comes from. When he sees a scared chicken he tells them don't worry we aren't going to eat you yet.

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    #14

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    simoncholland Report

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    Feathered Dinosaur
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Chore charts sadly don't work. They make everything a -chore- and have the participants overlook other tasks that are not specifically on the chart for that specific day

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    #15

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    reallifemommy3 Report

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    Me
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My kids had giftcards for a bookstore and they both bought the same picture book because "we don't want to share and it's OUR gift!".

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    Once the imagination starts to grow, with it comes a deep, almost ceaseless curiosity. Many parents will recognize the experience of an ocean of questions, about why a year is 365 days, what is birth and inevitably, why do we die. And that’s just birthdays, after all. This curiosity is good but often exhausting, but it serves as a comical way for parents to assess just how much or how little about the real world they know. 

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    #18

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    maryfairybobrry Report

    At the end of the day, a child's imagination should be encouraged and developed, as at some point they will start to seek out answers themselves, a vital step on the road to adulthood. At the same time, a child's imagination can often exceed an adult's, but this is a double-edged foam sword. On the one hand, childlike joy, on the other, they will create the sorts of messes professionals will gawk at in wonder. If you want to see our other collections of parenting tweets, click here and here

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    #19

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    MomWithNoPlan Report

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    Feathered Dinosaur
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No 2 year old would choose to sleep by themselves. In the African savanna little kids sleeping by themselves out of sight of grown-ups got eaten.

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    #20

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    Feathered Dinosaur
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I dread having to go through homework one day with the chick. I literally forgot about everything I learned at school

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    #24

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    Jason
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I solved this with a game. It's called the sneaky game and we talk like 1940s mobsters and use our fingers as fake mustaches. Then we do mildly naughty things. People just think I'm a weird parent but it works.

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    #25

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    AnAppleHat Report

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    Jason
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still better than most of the healthcare here. At least he spent time with you

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    #29

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    oneawkwardmom Report

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    Jason
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son loves doing this after rolling in mud puddles and having wrestling matches with our long haired dog

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    #30

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    TheMomHack Report

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    Me
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yesterday I wondered why it takes so long to keave the house, then I realised I have to think ahead for three people

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    #31

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    IHideFromMyKids Report

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    Jason
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh the moist whispers. Before children I didn't know what a mildly damp ear canal felt like

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    #33

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    RodLacroix Report

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    cartoon.ghostss
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My house is ancient so the walls and doors are super thick which means I can't hear anything ever at all through it and that plus my APD pisses off my parent hugely. It's really useful for sleeping in tho

    #35

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-June

    copymama Report

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    Yeet_girl360
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friends and I used to glue google eyes to pine cones and name them random things. My was apple for obvious reasons.

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    #37

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    missmulrooney Report

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    Lauren S
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They go to Rebecca Rabbits “burrow” and are pretending to be rabbits. I can picture the episode. But it’s been a good 3 or 4 years since we watched Peppa so I couldn’t tell you season or episode name…

    #38

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-June

    oneawkwardmom Report

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    Trisec
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *snort* My brother and I were little when "A New Hope" came out. My father had a big bench vice in the workshop at the time. We went through a lot of Star Wars action figures re-enacting the trash compactor scene.

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    #40

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    michimama75 Report

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    Feathered Dinosaur
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a mom myself now and I still need my mom! I don't want to think about a time when she's not here anymore 😢

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    #42

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-June

    kevinthedad Report

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    Kim Charles
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The second week of school for kindergarteners always has the most criers.... they realise they have to keep going to school

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    #45

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    itssherifield Report

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    Feathered Dinosaur
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was watching SpongeBob way before I had kids, and way after turning an adult

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    #46

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    daddygofish Report

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    #47

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    IHideFromMyKids Report

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    Katie Lutesinger
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey, I was in my twenties when I happened to be outside my mother's office at work, saw the name of her coworker on the door, and loudly said "DOUCHEtte? What an embarrassing name! Guess who was inside at the time and heard every word.

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    #48

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    kristabellerina Report

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    #49

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    kevinthedad Report

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    #50

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    Chhapiness Report

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    #52

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-June

    michellecyca Report

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    Ace
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You've spelt it wrong, should be Chalmondley, pronounced the sane, Seriously,

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    #53

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-June

    TheMomHack Report

    #55

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-June

    TheMomHack Report

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    Lene
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 4 year old can't help with putting toys away because her fingers are too short and also, Aysha from kindergarten hit her on the shoulder last Thursday.

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    #57

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    #58

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-June

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    #59

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    #61

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    RezFidel
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Since smart scientist found out that onlinedevices are not suited for kids under the age of 6 this story is not so funny as you think it is... "Ages four to six The experts are unequivocal: Kids in this age group shouldn’t be using smartphones (or other mobile devices), period. " https://www.todaysparent.com/family/parenting/an-age-by-age-guide-to-kids-and-smartphones/

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    #63

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-June

    daddygofish Report

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    Jason
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had this really cool giant tiger hand painted scroll thing in my entryway. They oddly detail painted the balls. Every single person that came in. "oh that's an awesome painting, wait are those his balls"

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    #65

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    LizerReal Report

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    Merrill N. Munro
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Note to self: remove "taint" from mental dictionary and replace with "botch". Need to keep my profanities fresh!

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    #66

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    reallifemommy3 Report

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    #69

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    Bored Trash Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    omg right!! I can't go a damn day without saying "tie your shoes before you trip" then his smartass says "I haven't tripped yet"

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    #71

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    SnarkyMommy78 Report

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    #74

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-June

    TheMomHack Report

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    Phyzzi
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why I have trackers on a lot of stuff and try and keep all our devices charged.

    #76

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-June

    MediocreMamaa Report

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    Kathy
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Oh, I always looked like this before you came along! I just wanted to remember how it felt to wear 'normal' clothes..."

    #77

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-June

    dadmann_walking Report

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    Lynn Morello
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tried teaching my 5 y/o's to fold towels. It didn't work until they turned 11.. I have no idea why it took so long.

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    #78

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    FatherWithTwins Report

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    #80

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-June

    RYGdance Report

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    #81

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    #82

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    petridishes Report

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    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I looked at the first panel, I thought that was a cemetery fence, and grandpa was dead, and that’s “where he was” XD

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    #84

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    TheMomHack Report

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    #85

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    oneawkwardmom Report

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    #86

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    #87

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    reallifemommy3 Report

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    #89

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    RYGdance Report

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    #90

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    mommeh_dearest Report

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    Kathy
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sign them both up - that way "6yo" (unusual name, by the way!) doesn't have an unfair advantage!

    #91

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    DadSetAgainst Report

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    #92

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-June

    TheMomHack Report

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    Feathered Dinosaur
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's probably due to the Tetanus shot being in combination with Pertussis, and pertussis needs to be refreshed shortly before every birth. Sadly the pertussis vaccine only lasts up to 4 years, if at all

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    #93

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    mommeh_dearest Report

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    Jason
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Person explaining something on screen Son interrupts: Daddy what are they saying, I can't hear them. What's happening. Why are they done talking

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    #94

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    simoncholland Report

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    Lene
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or searching for 2 water bottles on Thursday morning with the kids finding it "too boring" to help you look.

    #95

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-June

    KatieDeal99 Report

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    #96

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-June

    TheMomHack Report

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    #97

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    bennettleigh Report

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    Feathered Dinosaur
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't wait for the live action Little Mermaid movie! The little Mermaid was my absolute favorite Disney movie ever

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    #98

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    KatieDeal99 Report

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    Karen Lyon
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, I had it worse, and as auntie, yet! When my youngest nephews were kids, I'd often spend weekends with their family. One night, I decided to pick up the living room and struggled with getting one in particular (and it wasn't that hard, had maybe 10 pieces). Middle nephew watched me fiddle with it for awhile, then said "Here, Aunt Karen, I do it." Oy. He was just over two, at the time.

    #99

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    Chhapiness Report

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    #100

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    itssherifield Report

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    IHideFromMyKids Report

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    #103

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    ericamorecambe Report

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    #104

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    itssherifield Report

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    Kristof De Smet
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    no, because there is a chance you get to the finish line without stumbling in that marathon

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    #105

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    oneawkwardmom Report

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    #106

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    nikalamity Report

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    Lene
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My oldest will start school in August. I feel like.... when the youngest start school I can start to relax a bit. Haha.

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    #108

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    PerezSays_ Report

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    Brenda
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As soon as they can talk. As soon as they can talk. Then Faithfully

    #112

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    IHideFromMyKids Report

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    Catherine Maven
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually, because *I* said F**k, my kids thought they SHOULDN'T; I call this a parenting WIN! ;)

    #113

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    oneawkwardmom Report

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    #114

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    itssherifield Report

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    carrielsmith37 Report

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