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Parenting is full of constant surprises. Some of them appear when you find qualities you didn’t know were in you. One example might be the unexpected inner peace in a moment of total chaos around the house. It might also be the Hulk-like strength when your kid is in danger or the ninja-like reflexes when they are asleep. In some cases, it is the sudden ability to write material good enough for a parenthood-themed comedy show.

Here at Bored Panda, we appreciate the creative input moms and dads provide for the online community. Therefore, we have created a list of some of their best humorous statements that perfectly portray life as a parent.

If you’re done scrolling through these Tweets from January, make sure to check out our December edition for more.

One of the most beautiful things about parenthood is witnessing the different stages of kids’ development. Despite their unique character, most of them have one thing in common—parents often say they grow up too fast.

Since they can not stop the Earth from turning, parents find alternative ways of freezing the moment. Some make baby scrapbooks, others grab their cameras. A few might even start journaling with great detail to describe every significant milestone of their baby’s life.

Luckily for us, there are parents who choose Twitter as their notebook and share their gems of family life with the rest of the world. As a matter of fact, 23% of moms and dads online use Twitter to state what’s on their minds.

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    #2

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-January

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    Mike Crow
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There was something I read that having three parents would be the best thing due to the fact you can have two of them working full time and have the third as a stay at home parent.

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    Parents can be sure they will never run out of content for their hilarious tweets. Mostly because there is never a dull moment with kids. They can turn something as mundane as grocery shopping into a performance when they decide to throw a temper tantrum on aisle two.

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    That is not their only forte when it comes to the day-to-day, though. Children also excel at rating the food that’s been served to them. And they make their evaluation clear, whether it’s a frown, a nod of approval, or dinner flying across the kitchen table.

    Some kids are more talkative than others, but most of them go through the phase of the million questions nevertheless. It usually starts with the good old why? as asking this is one of the regular steps of a toddler’s development.

    As they get older, the topics of questions can go in whichever direction. At times, there is no rhyme or reason for the things your offspring wants to know, but you better be ready with some answers. Otherwise, the interrogation might never end. 

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    #7

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    Mickysixxx
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahaha I tell my students "none of you are smart enough to be master criminals so probably best you just listen in class". I work in a school for at risk teens

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    Unless they’re sleeping blissfully, children seem to always be on the go. That makes unexpected moments of silence—one of the parents’ main causes for concern. Such pauses often mean that kids have done something they shouldn’t have, or they’re about to. Especially when they join forces with other children, as they often create their grand plans on the wavelengths of a whisper.

    Another power that kids have is manipulating their parents. It might be something as little as delaying bedtime, but they know all the right strings to pull to make it work. That provides even more material for these parents to share, as children’s methods of persuasion are usually very creative. Or absolutely hilarious.

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    #13

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    Mickysixxx
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    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha my daughter turned 6yrs old for an entire year she was asked by her uncle's "how old are you?" She'd say "six" then "Your sick? What's wrong?" When she turned 7yrs "you want some devon?" 8yrs "I know we're mates" haha drives her nuts but what are uncles for?

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    These Tweets cover nearly every aspect of parenting reality. The reality that lots of people imagined differently before having children. They might have said they won’t be doing things in a certain way, but once you become a parent, you just do what you got to do. Even if it means ice cream for dinner or an additional 15 minutes of TV in times of crisis.

    #15

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    Fxnglhl
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    head, shoulders legs and back, legs and back, head, shoulders legs and back, legs and back and eyes and hands and feet and neck, head, shoulders legs and back, legs and back!

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    When it comes to parenting practices, there is no one perfect method. Moms and dads find ways that work best for them, whether they’re similar to how they were raised or completely different. A recent study found that nearly as many parents choose the former as the latter. 43% of people say they raise kids the way they were cared for, while 44% take a different route.

    #18

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    Angela B
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My superpower as a Nurse is drinking my tea (or coffee)luke warm. Without pouring it down the sick when it is stone cold and there is no way I am reheating it in the microwave that is waaaaaaay down the hall in the break room.

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    ᶜʰᵃᵒᵗⁱᶜ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    don't let him see you break the spaghetti. actually, don't break it at all. Who does that? edit: if it's a small pot just let the bottom cook and it will slide in 😭

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    Children never cease to amaze their parents, no matter their age. From surprising (at times, nearly philosophical) questions coming from a toddler, to witty remarks of a teenager. As they grow, memory is filled with so many examples, it might become difficult to store them all. That’s why noting them down might come in handy, whether it ends up on Twitter, or not.

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    #23

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    Antonia
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My toddler was chatting all day long. When put to bed he said: Wait! I have to tell you something

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    Twitter and other social media platforms are not only a source of amusing material but a tool for expressing support as well. 74% of parents state that they receive it from their fellows online, which makes creating posts all the more enjoyable. 81% claim to respond to uplifting news they see on their feed, providing encouragement to those who share.

    #25

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    Stolas
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the real reason is the prince covered the stairs in pitch or glue depending on what you read

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    If you want your stories to go far and wide, Twitter is undoubtedly a great platform for that. It currently has nearly 354 million users, and the number is expected to rise to over 600 million by 2025. With an audience this big, tweeting is one of the easiest ways to reach parents all over the world.

    Parenting can be stressful and rewarding, and everything in between, and these tweets are here to prove it. Parents can assure that life with children is never boring from the very first second they enter this world. 

    #30

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    Thomas Bentley
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friend, Mansa Musa looks at the pile of gold your kids think you have in the bank, and thinks it would be ridiculous to have that much money.

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    #31

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    FakeOptimist
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can confirm. Out of observation of friends/siblings, thankfully, being an uncle can be tiring enough for me.

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    #34

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    Jason
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same here too. Along with being closed for holidays that may be made up

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    #37

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    Zane Lumagrowl
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm 27 and I still have this conversation with my mom! Love you mom but also I have a space heater in my office so I think I can avoid frostbitten ankles lol

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    Betta Fish
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was 3 I released the parking brake and ended up in our across the street neighbor's driveway. I could drive! (Only if there is another driveway perfectly parallel to ours but still)

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    Telepathetic
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They'll just Spoil them Rotten and send them back for YOU to deal with' ("But Grandma Lets us.....)

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    #40

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    Marvelous Rex
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister and I were both in college when she was setting up my dad's first email account. She was like, we should put his display name as something funny since you really don't notice it when you log in, but it will show up on outgoing emails. He went 6 months before he realized his display name was "Weiner Toucher". The best part was, we knew he had sent some emails to my aunt so we told her the story and she goes "OH, that's what those were! I thought it was some kind of porn, so I deleted them." LOL

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    Betta Fish
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks for the remote in their hands after walking downstairs and not even picking up the remote. "It's lost we all gonna die"

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    #48

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    Peppy
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’d be happy to hear a child singing while I shopped, keep up the good work

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    #49

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    mommajessiec Report

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    Marvelous Rex
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh been there. One time, both parents forgot I stayed after school for football practice and I had no access to a phone (no pay phone, coaches had already locked up and left.) I waited around for 3 hours, until finally one of the lunch ladies who knew my parents and didn't live far from me, gave me a ride home. My sister always said how happy she and my brothers were when I got my license, because they didn't have to be embarrassed by being the last ones to leave or having to get a ride from a coach because no one picked them up. I knew how much it sucked, so I always got there on time.

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    #50

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    Mickysixxx
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    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Comedy gold right there! I had an elderly teacher in the school i work in try to explain to the class why its NOT funny to draw penis' on everything lol I did step in for the kids and say "well, there is graffiti in many ancient cultures where they drew them people have found them funny for a long time". Im not encouraging this but the kid in me giggles, She sees the funny side now lol

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    #52

    Funny-Relatable-Parenting-Tweets-January

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    Jason
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was my birthday and my son did this for me. He also was cute and offered his friends to come over and join my birthday party with me so they can wish me happy birthday.

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    #54

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    #55

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    Katy McMouse
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's been seventeen years and I'm still working with that playbook.

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    #57

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    #58

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    #62

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    mcdadstuff Report

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    3 Trash Pandas in a Trenchcoat
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We have family breakfast on Saturdays, then again, my brother and I are past the Chaotic Little Kid stage

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    #63

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    Nurichwersonst
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe he has thrown something in the trash that he don't wants you to know and now he brings the trash down himself immediately so you won't find it... 🤫🤷‍♀️ (sorry if my grammar is bad - it's not my native language 😅)

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    #66

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    Mars
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some kids, my mom tried this with me a few times and I'd just have an anxiety attack until I knew what was happening lol.

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    #67

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    #68

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    #69

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    Got Myself 4 Pandas
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was just getting over the last disease they brought home that I suffered through over Xmas, then they go back and I've been sick about 90% of January - it's been delightful

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    #73

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    oneawkwardmom Report

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    Little Wonder
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    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My laser tech says she often has people fall asleep during laser hair removal. I said "But it HURTS" and she shrugged and said people are tired which fair.

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    #74

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    What does this button do?
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We have an easy system - the teenager is tasked with folding them when the laundry is done. My wife takes the folded towels and rolls them. I stay out of the way and do what I'm told (which doesn't involve towels). It's simple, but it works!

    #75

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    #80

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    #85

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    Jesse
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother, with her third: "this one has boy clothes, I don't care about the age"

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    #89

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    Jason
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son loves broccoli but hates bread and potatoes. If I can figure out how this happened I can probably write a best-selling advice book

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    OnAFreakingRollercoaster
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Consider yourself lucky you got a warning. My kids go from sweet to a**holes in about 3 seconds

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    Jason
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please don't look in the couch. Can probably make a couple meals

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    #100

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    KDav
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom had to buy me a second set of my favorite outfit because I refused to wear anything else. Light teal sweatshirt and darker teal sweatpants. One of the sweatshirts had a tiny iron-on animal right over the heart, but I can't remember if it was a bear (which would have made sense since that's my favorite animal) or a raccoon. It's been a really long time.

    #101

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    Sad Quokka
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mmmmm, pasta... Random fact - I eat 17 X more pasta than the average person. Upvote for pasta 🤣

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    #104

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    Michelle Brandt
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I"m constantly asking my kids "are you sure?" because I had this same situation last Thursday.

    #105

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    Benita Valdez
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My nephew absolutely hated to sleep. He would fight with every fiber of his being to stay awake. Like kid, your jumper and Bubbleguppies will still be here as will all your other toys; I swear you're not missing out on anything. He's gotten better and finally has a decent sleep schedule; he turns 5 in March

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    Thomas Bentley
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The dead listen to you. They are not sentient, so cannot ask the question "WHY?".

    #109

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    #110

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    FloralDangerNoodle
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Baby Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo Baby Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo Baby Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo Baby Shark...

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    Jason
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son every single time. Me: you need to do x tomorrow. Son: is today tomorrow?

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    #112

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    Jason
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One thing I wasn't prepared for as a new parent was the amount of poop and butt discussion

    #114

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    Little Wonder
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to work in a library and I remember a Mum coming in all shocked and she said "These are on time, they were all in the book bag where they're supposed to be". We assured her it probably wouldn't happen again.

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