I would like to join this coven! Perhaps we should start an unofficial one on BoredPanda.

I find a lot of times, turning around a passive aggressive statement or a creepy compliment or a double standard rule, turn it around on the person who said it to you, it's quite hilarious. They usually "get" what you're saying, they usually don't have a response, but at the very least, you can get really good at turning comments around. Practice makes perfect

Amen to that!

This is a fantastic idea. It could be implemented on a city wide level. Libraries for happy et companions. The adoption rates would inevitably go through the roof.

Pretty much yeah.

What are the stats like for Father's Day?

This is so true. And let's not mention entitlement.

I'm guessing that was Southwest Air. They have a lovely bunch of flight attendants

Or practical.

and it worked apparently :D

My nose is runny RN.

I am 100% behind a racoon navy. I volunteer for admiral....Full disclosure, I will take my Racoon armada to Nassau and re establish the Pirate kingdom there.....also, I will be drunk like , 85/99% of the time.

Cats aren't disrespectful. Humans are insubordinate.

Why do I feel like ur also HR and u just need a little drama at work

So Alexa said "screw this, I'm taking a nap"?

Awww

Love that teacher.

I would like to add the work place to this list, you should not have to pay to go to work

What I wanna know is how he got kicked outta the Jedi order

I'd be so much more well-adjusted if I'd had this. Having said that, I (on my own) made friends with as many adults as I could from a tiny age onwards. Ex: when I was 4 or 5 and the kids in school went onto the playground for recess, I went into the school kitchen, sat on a stool and ate toast and (maturely) chatted with the kitchen staff. Age 10 or 11 I would make friends and go out on outings with teachers (the young ones - probably student teachers in their 20s). Ha - I even remember when I was also about 4 or 5, riding the bus with my brothers (no parents) and making friends with whoever was seated behind me - I'd say something cheeky to kick things off - often this was the big HS kids riding in the back of the bus. One of them, a tall black guy, brought me a tiny troll doll, which totally kicked off my childhood collection of trolls (zero barbies). Good memories during kind of tough times. Thanks for reading.

It's not his fault, He's clearly under influence of Mushrooms

Sounds like a story I heard when I was pregnant: A woman showed up at the hospital in advanced labour. The medic wheeled her into the hospital lift and she started saying "I think the baby's coming out right heeeeeeeere!" After she calmed the woman down, the medic said "Don't worry love, we once had a lady give birth on the hospital lawn out the front!" And the birthing mother said: "I know! That was me!"

Sounds like legit adulting to me.

Even if it were 1894, it would be a new world record, as the oldest person ever to have lived managed to get to 122.

I hope you took a video to replay when they are teenagers.

Too many viewers without a PhD think, "learning makes you evil".

Those guys have potential

Happy?

😂😂😂

Can you imagine the kids face if this person wrote down the address, adopted the cat, then showed up at his house with the cat? Obviously not a good idea but the kids mind would be blown.

Popping a wheelie is the most appropriate way to give thanks.

Aw, that’s sweet. I, now in university, recently got a chance to say hi to my primary school headmaster. Don’t think he remembered my name (fair), but he seemed to recognise my face.

Don't knock it - you never know when you might need to integrate your way into dolphin social hierarchies at short notice.

Please tell me Roscoe's last name was Coltrane

You know you're living the highlife when you can see your pillow, TV, and kitchen sink from the toilet.

"Well, Boss, I know of one easy way to keep people from thinking you don't pay me enough..."

I bet the dog had a paw in this

I love that, I'm going to use it.

How to get fired in 10 Seconds or Less, in the Financial Services Sector

My Irish a*s is keenly aware of the suns hatred of me... I am wary of it...it stalks me...like an assassin.

It's also a good indicator of hair loss. In my mid 30's was poolside during family spring break, woke up the next day.."hmm ..got a little sun". Dragged a comb across my scalp..."OWWWWW!"

That’s when my ginger powers backfire

I somehow read this as "sideburns" and was very confused at first

But putting the lotion on the skin feels girly and greasy, I don't like greasy. Just cook me to medium well please. Nah I do the spray I'm not insane lol

BUT I'M STILL STANDING, BRO!

My partner has a 20 year old daughter, their bathroom has (at the last count) 4,783 different products in it for use in the shower / bath. If the local spa runs short of a cleansing product they can give them a call. Me? I have one bottle there, it’s got a label that’s says 75 in 1 on it, or something like that. It’ll do hair, face, body, car parts, glassware, kitchens and industrial spillages 😂

I would say this is fake, but having been a gym rat...yeah.. these guys exist.