LOL

Take that bob manning 😆

This should be number one. Really funny and so accurate.

There is no enough aloe vera for this one.

Announcers? Like at a sporting event? Or a doctor giving a family a medical update on their family members who just underwent a serious medical procedure? Hmmm.

Except for when the father faints from watching and hits his head on the floor.

The baby could be born without the father even noticing it. They are not the ones pushing out the baby but here they are wanting CREDIT? For ... existing?

Hellcaste's Wife

Hellcaste's Wife

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My husband almost died...when I saw him shoving a Reese's cup in his mouth rather than helping me count my breathing! A*****e was almost ended right then and there! LOL

My wife is still annoyed at the midwife & nurses frequently asking me if I wanted a sandwich or coffee while she was in labor.

Tired maybe, but usually not tired enough to die.

the father was present.

TBF..there have been fathers who have been known to pass out during childbirth...or after realizing they are having triplets! LOL

No they don't die just faint like wusses! 😜

Envious new fathers are insane. Step aside for a moment, dumb idiot, now mother and baby are the priority.

Yeah, wonder if he's yet recovered from jizzing 9 months ago.

New fathers might have had their hands painfully wrung by the birth-giving mom, but that's about i.

Rich people: Working for your money is something to be grateful for. Also Rich people when they have to work for their money: Can’t someone else do it?

Nailed it!

Tripped over by their own lying tongue

Outlook is new software? And if after six months you still do not understand it I will get a technophobic elderly relative to explain it.

Re-started. The OG Great Reset. Once in a while. Like a good clean up you know...

My pitbull would have had a party with that!

You will never catch me using pronouns, I stand firmly against their use.

Men and women cannot exist without each other. End of. And electricity has existed since the world was created, naturally. Our own bodies generate electrical impulses.

🙂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

If you want "good" music look up William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody.

I will from hereon call people upper class crumpets. Or lower class crumpets, depending on how foul of a mood I am in.

Heath Lerr sounds very much like H1tler when you say it out loud....

"I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way!" -- Cecil Terwilliger.

.. of which there should be many many more in the US.

And alcohol

The bank of the creek near your house. Go bury your money in it.

Oh that's precious and I SO agree with this.

See, I hate people who go to someone else and expect them to go real cheap because it’s “easy work”. If you’re gonna ask other people to do your chores, you should expect to have to pay for it. It’s clearly not work you *want* to do, which is why you’re not doing it.

Yeah, Eddy's family tree is a trunk.

What's so good about playing kick about with an inflated pigs bladder? Give me Lego any day.

I'm not sure how your teeth could be a narrow body of water connecting two larger bodies of water.

Soon to be 20, bodycount at 0 and I'm perfectly fine ! Don't let other people tell you that your worth is defined by your bodycount, high or low.

Honestly, I kinda want this.

I'm stealing that line

Ouch! That must hurt.

British Broadcasting Corporation, not Company.

Don't apply to be on any cookery shows.....

BURN!!!!!!!!!!

Just covering a -18 comment. Have a nice day, and enjoy yourself!

N the mustache

I'm probably about 3,5% neanderthal by the results in the extended family so I'm gonna appropriate the cave painting chique

What was the name of that from Men in Black? Edgar? Or ...?