LOL

Take that bob manning 😆

This should be number one. Really funny and so accurate.

There is no enough aloe vera for this one.

Rich people: Working for your money is something to be grateful for. Also Rich people when they have to work for their money: Can’t someone else do it?

Announcers? Like at a sporting event? Or a doctor giving a family a medical update on their family members who just underwent a serious medical procedure? Hmmm.

Outlook is new software? And if after six months you still do not understand it I will get a technophobic elderly relative to explain it.

Re-started. The OG Great Reset. Once in a while. Like a good clean up you know...

Tripped over by their own lying tongue

My pitbull would have had a party with that!

Nailed it!

You will never catch me using pronouns, I stand firmly against their use.

Men and women cannot exist without each other. End of. And electricity has existed since the world was created, naturally. Our own bodies generate electrical impulses.

🙂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

If you want "good" music look up William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody.

Heath Lerr sounds very much like H1tler when you say it out loud....

I will from hereon call people upper class crumpets. Or lower class crumpets, depending on how foul of a mood I am in.

"I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way!" -- Cecil Terwilliger.

.. of which there should be many many more in the US.

The bank of the creek near your house. Go bury your money in it.

Oh that's precious and I SO agree with this.

What's so good about playing kick about with an inflated pigs bladder? Give me Lego any day.

And alcohol

See, I hate people who go to someone else and expect them to go real cheap because it’s “easy work”. If you’re gonna ask other people to do your chores, you should expect to have to pay for it. It’s clearly not work you *want* to do, which is why you’re not doing it.

Yeah, Eddy's family tree is a trunk.

I'm not sure how your teeth could be a narrow body of water connecting two larger bodies of water.

Soon to be 20, bodycount at 0 and I'm perfectly fine ! Don't let other people tell you that your worth is defined by your bodycount, high or low.

Honestly, I kinda want this.

I'm stealing that line

British Broadcasting Corporation, not Company.

Ouch! That must hurt.

Don't apply to be on any cookery shows.....

N the mustache

What was the name of that from Men in Black? Edgar? Or ...?

I'm probably about 3,5% neanderthal by the results in the extended family so I'm gonna appropriate the cave painting chique

Just covering a -18 comment. Have a nice day, and enjoy yourself!

BURN!!!!!!!!!!

Says right there on the box: "Do not leave in direct sunlight. Do not give to children under 36 months. May contain nuts. Not tested on animals. Please email us if you would like the vegan-friendly alternative."

Love this. Poor wife, though, being married to this guy.

And so does debt.

You're the kind to bring the piano closer to the stool. OR : You look like you'd know what markers taste like.

This is painful . . . . .

At least it was taken well and with good humour.

My experience of various nerdy conferences is that the staff love them because the people tend to be polite, friendly and funny,

Can someone translate this into proper English for me?

Don't be stupid. An hour at the most.

Sure, that's the only time people grind their teeth...Mind you, it's a bit of a self-burn if this is made up

I feel bad for OP, looks like Marfan syndrome to me.

"Don't always believe prefixes" would make a great t-shirt !