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With 2017 rapidly coming to an end, we thought we'd update our hilarious list celebrating the funniest parenting tweets of the year. From moms getting accused of being horrible parents because they won't let them play with a chainsaw, to dads who try to solve all of their parenting problems with cookies, the funny collection of tweets compiled by Bored Panda is sure to resonate with sleep-deprived moms and long-suffering dads everywhere. Don't forget to vote for your favorite!

#3

Parenting Tweets

R_A_Dadass Report

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John Louis
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

remember as you kids hysterically run and play like maniacs, they are not burning energy, they are building it up.

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#8

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

copymama Report

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Mike Irwin
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

More importantly: can _you_ remember (without checking Google Calendar!) :)

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#11

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

tomgara Report

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David
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Time to cut the kid off of YouTube and spend some time with him, instead of letting the internet raise him. Our parents did it with TV, now parents are doing it with the internet

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#15

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

MyMomologue Report

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Evgeniya Khon
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people don't even have a thing they can look forward to, so you're lucky:))

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#18

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Lhlodder Report

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eyo too
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of my wife's first grade students brought in mom's book for silent reading: How to Become a Pole Dancer. "Apparently" it was a prank gift and the mom was horrified, but luckily had a sense of humor.

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#25

Parenting Tweets

tigermcleash Report

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Kathy Trites
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once my then 3yr old nephew convinced a gymnasium seat block he lost his chipmunk while his dad was coaching hs basketball. It was imaginary.

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#27

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

ComedicBust Report

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Ariana Jager
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's about the time. 7:00 is late for parents. Kids gotta go to bed soon after and strangers can't always put kids to bed effectively.

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#28

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

outsmartedmommy Report

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Zenozenobee
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There 's something even more frightening: a silent home when you have kids. It can only means that something terrible is on.

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#31

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Lhlodder Report

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DeAnna Anderson
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love how we are expected to know how to do all this new math and english stuff that they are teaching the kids these days. Nothing like how we were taught.

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#33

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Lhlodder Report

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Zenozenobee
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lately I came up with a new strategy with my 4 yo: "if I have to say it once again, I take a playmobil". I line up my little hostages on a top shelf he can't reach. The first time I had to punish 12 playmobils for an afternoon, after two weeks I have around 4 playmobils on the self every days (I dentify his favourit ones to target them first) but I'm beguinning to have success with the "threat" only ;p

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#38

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Cheeseboy22 Report

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Zenozenobee
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My man exactly... and then Disney bought Starwars licence and now he's buying action figurines for our son. Right, for our son ;p

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#39

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Discourt Report

#41

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

ksujulie Report

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BFFPanda
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s when you just have to sit down and say, “It was evil Ninja Turtles that came and stole my clothes. I was up later than you because I was tired from fighting them” 👍

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#42

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

TheCatWhisprer Report

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Chelle Belle
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my boyfriend does not have any kids, I have an 11 year old. every time he poops he has to immediately shower afterwards, turning a regular one hour man poop into a hour and a half.. i'm like, if we ever have a kid together, you are gonna have to get over doing that. you'll be lucky if you get the bathroom to yourself for five minutes.

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#46

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

OneFunnyMummy Report

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Elizabeth Mitchell
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or explain awkward story lines, like......why Prince Charming kissed a dead corpse, why Jack was seeing giant bean stalks, why Alice was tripping out, who created Neverland, how three bears managed to talk, and why a girl broke into their house.......

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#47

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

21stcenturysahm Report

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Kiss Army
Community Member
Premium
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't tell you how many jackets we have had to stop and buy before I got smart enough to leave one in the trunk.

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#50

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

effinghandbook Report

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Kenny Kulbiski
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had to do some repair work in an elementary band room once. In August. They were already practicing their Christmas program. Why that teacher didn't pursue a career in panhandling defies understanding.

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#54

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

MotherPlaylist Report

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#56

Parenting Tweets

PetrickSara Report

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Marnee DeRider
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know, it was just a dumb TV thing with kids talking about their parents coming to "all their games" or "never comes to watch me play" that started this off. Before that, it wasn't a thing, to my knowledge. Maybe watching the big game(s) at the end of the season was important, but I couldn't have cared less about my parents watching me play soccer for most of the season when I was in grade school. I think they just dropped me off. Parents demand too much of themselves based on fake TV parents.

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#58

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

LurkAtHomeMom Report

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Misterscooter
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And be there half an hour before for warmups, gotta leave house at 6:15, feed them and get them dressed by 6:10 so gotta start trying to wake them up at 5:20 which means I need to get up to get ready at...Dear God!!

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#59

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

LurkAtHomeMom Report

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olivia martinez
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mary popins voice* "come on kids lets go" 15 mins later Batman voice*" I SAID LETS GO!"

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#60

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Six_Pack_Mom Report

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Elizabeth Mitchell
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

School for my child meant a major shift from well behaved, to learning cuss words she never heard before.

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#63

Parenting Tweets

themessednest Report

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Sillyist
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know a lot of parents have troubles with this. But it's easily remedied. Just make the kids never want to be in the bathroom with you ever again. I recommend a nice giant bowl of French Onion Soup, with a side of caramelized onions garnished with green onions in an onion reduction sauce.

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#64

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

DadandBuried Report

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cassiereroni
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My 5 yr old daughter asked me one day if she could have an elephant. I explained to her that she couldn't because elephants are too big. She looked at me with bewilderment in her eyes and informed me we *had* some elephants and she just wanted one. I proceeded to tell her we didn't have any elephants and she came back with "Yes we do Mommy". So I asked her where the elephants were and she said "in the refrigerator Mommy". I then told her "Honey, there aren't any elephants in the refrigerator but she insisted there were so I took her to the fridge and we looked inside it. She got all excited that stated "See Mommy, there they are". She was pointing to the olives. I tried to hard not to laugh uncontrollably and gave her her elephant.

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#65

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

2questionable Report

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Misterscooter
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me: *Explains how to do math problem* , Me: *Walks away and double checks with Google* , Me: *Comes back to fix something I "forgot" to explain.*

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#68

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

MyMomologue Report

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serena
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is me every single night!! Falling asleep with my daughter, then waking up at 11:30 with a million things to do before I can go back to bed.

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#70

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

sarcasticmommy4 Report

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Evelyn Adele
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is when I made them start cooking for themselves. Finally heard it enough.

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#73

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

KateWouldHaveIt Report

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DeAnna Anderson
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oops! LOL. That is when you detour to McDonalds like you had it planned all along.

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#77

Parenting Tweets

MotherOctopusKJ Report

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Evelyn Adele
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or insists on wearing a heavy sweatshirt in 95 degree weather. In humid Florida!

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#78

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

LurkAtHomeMom Report

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This Is Me
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omigawd, I thought my children would be so well-behaved because I was very good at training my dogs. Boy, was I mistaken!

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#81

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

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Kristel Bijnen
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my sister was young, she was freaked out by seeing a teacher at a store. She really thought they lived at school. She did not understand it at all, haha.

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#82

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

MotherPlaylist Report

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Imperfekt
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well that goes right along with my earlier comment about finally giving in to my 3 year old who couldn't be convinced that pickle he was demanding was not a pickle but a pepper.

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#83

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

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Bonnie Alcorn
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My one-year old granddaughter puts her hand up to her ear every time someone's phone rings!

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#84

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

PerfectPending Report

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Elizabeth Mitchell
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Halloween. Good parenting strategy that reverses all the education about not taking lollies from strangers........

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#87

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

2questionable Report

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Elizabeth Mitchell
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is no better compliment than when your child gets home from school, smells the dinner cooking and drools while asking what’s for dinner tonight? Mmmmm.

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#90

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

ParentNormal Report

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#92

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Nicole_Cliffe Report

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Madeline Tuohey
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My aunt is pregnant. My cousin (2) says he has a baby in his belly named baby Lizzie.

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#93

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

dumbbeezie Report

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#94

Parenting Tweets

DraggingFeeties Report

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#97

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

FatherWithTwins Report

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Patty cake ;3
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why...why I wish I had my own bathroom (drops to floor and starts to sob)

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#99

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

HowToBeADad Report

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Laura Rudgers
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, Lewis Carroll was allegedly on LSD when he wrote Alice in Wonderland...I think it was just opium....

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#100

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

sarcasticmommy4 Report

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#105

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

AdamBroud Report

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Sadie Shapiro
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have some friends who are brothers named Dallas and Austin. Don't ask.

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#109

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

2questionable Report

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Nadia Corinna
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Literally me at the house my mum shares with my older sister the other day: "Why are all the dates on these photo albums before I was born?"

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#111

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

ksujulie Report

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#112

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Lhlodder Report

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Christine Cameron
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friend's kid would pitch a fit if you DID peel his apple slices because he liked to put a whole slice in his mouth, work the peel off with his teeth and pull it out to deposit on a plate while he chewed up the rest of the apple bits.

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#113

Parenting Tweets

tinyandtired Report

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DeAnna Anderson
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only on a 15 item or less shopping trip that does not require the purchase of dog food, toilet paper or paper towels. And you must know that everyone else is looking at you and thinking that you are so stinkin' cute for doing this with your child. Plus it is an awesome learning experience for shopping that your kids will not forget and it teaches them stuff about shopping that they need to know for later. Bless you.

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#115

Parenting Tweets

Discourt Report

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#117

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

LurkAtHomeMom Report

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Angel
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

HAHA NKOTB Beach towel!! Pretty sure I still have one of those :-)

#118

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

ramblinma Report

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#122

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

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#125

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

momTruthBomb Report

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Willow
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is there water all over the floor? Why is the entire counter covered in granola dust? Why is Spiderman riding a unicorn?

#126

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Ygrene Report

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Nadine Ducca
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, considering that "Malone" already has the "m", the name should be "Hoe." :-O

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#127

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

jnyemb Report

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German Rottweiler#16
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

or a surivial pack with tissue, paper towels, baby wipes, and a plastic bag for wet clothes or barf, mostly for barf. all thats in my moms car

#128

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

AndyHerald Report

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#129

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

FatherWithTwins Report

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#131

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

simoncholland Report

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#132

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

HonestToddler Report

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#135

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

ValeeGrrl Report

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#136

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

moooooog35 Report

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#137

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

sarcasticmommy4 Report

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#138

Parenting Tweets

simoncholland Report

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#139

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

simoncholland Report

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Madeline Tuohey
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once my daughter was at a friend ends house, they made slime, decided to throw it in the air. Stuck to the ceiling made a stain. Same slime, same week ruined our carpet.

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#140

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

sarcasticmommy4 Report

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#141

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

WalkingOutside Report

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Kwj
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or the cardboard roll from the toilet paper.. My 5 yr old have like 20 of them lying around his room.

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#142

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

moooooog35 Report

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#143

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

2questionable Report

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#144

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Lhlodder Report

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#146

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

MotherPlaylist Report

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#147

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Parkerlawyer Report

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Jan Stevenson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is a really weird feeling when you have recently adopted a dog, and something happens and you indicate you are upset, they come to comfort you.

#149

Parenting Tweets

Six_Pack_Mom Report

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Kathleen Van Zandt Bye
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We had friends who worked for Kimberly Clark and got all their "products" free of charge. One night when they had the pastor over -- of course -- the kids came down the hallway with the "telescopes" they found in the bathroom trash.

#150

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

lifeattiffanys Report

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#151

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

MotherOctopusKJ Report

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#154

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

outsmartedmommy Report

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#155

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

DraggingFeeties Report

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#157

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

OneFunnyMummy Report

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#158

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

LetMeStart Report

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#159

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

UnfilteredMama Report

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#161

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

MotherOctopusKJ Report

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#162

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

sarcasticmommy4 Report

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#163

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

OneFunnyMummy Report

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#165

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

yenniwhite Report

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John-Michael Mustchin
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They'd probably be very specific about what toys, too. Whatever you can't get.

#167

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

outsmartedmommy Report

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#168

Parenting Tweets

momTruthBomb Report

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#169

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Dadpression Report

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#170

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

sarcasticmommy4 Report

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#171

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

difficultmommy Report

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#172

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

EverydayGirlDad Report

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#173

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

jnyemb Report

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#175

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

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#176

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

KimmyMonte Report

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#178

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

LaGuardiaCross Report

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#179

Parenting Tweets

Parkerlawyer Report

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Annie Horton
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Give your kid the $20 and tell them the tooth fairy left an advance. Then you're done. Unless this is the last...

#181

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

brittanyherself Report

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#182

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

hammbone84 Report

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Jan Stevenson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, similar happened to me- with my Mother... I tried to explain, she's difficult sometimes.

#184

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

NoSleepInBklyn Report

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#185

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

yenniwhite Report

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#186

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

JohnRossBowie Report

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Qwertykeala
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Haha lol just watch “murder on the orient express” cuz that’s real!

#187

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

realtonihammer Report

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Gloria Gonzales
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My baby is almost 45 and she still chooses to have a conversation with me when I'm on the phone like I'm not on the phone.

#188

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

ramblinma Report

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#189

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Lhlodder Report

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Jan Stevenson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My hubby does similar; he refuses to go to bed until 1 or 2 am- put him in the car, out like a light.

#192

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

HowToBeADad Report

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#194

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

outsmartedmommy Report

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#195

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

PinkCamoTO Report

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#196

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-2017

Carbosly Report

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Kris Ruddy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's called "backwash". My husband learned about it when our oldest was a little over a year old and done with a glass of milk. He took a big swig to finish it... and got his first (and last) experience with backwash!

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Candi Ulrich
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We totally have a 'bag of bags' too... my kids think it's hilarious when I tell them to use those for their little bedroom garbage cans.

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m. b
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't do coffee, but ever microwaved your breakfast troughout the day till late after your own bedtime?! Is that Art already? Coz it won't pass visually AS food.

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serena
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't give a c**p what my kid thinks. I sing every day in the car with her.

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