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“Farting In Front Of A Partner Leads To A Stronger Relationship.” “Crying Can Help You Lose Weight.” If these headlines sound like enough of the internet for you today, let me tell you, we've only started.

Thanks to the “Funny News Headlines” Instagram account that collects some of the worst, most bizarre and plain stupid news headlines, we have quite a collection to facepalm at today. Beware not to drink any beverages while scrolling through, since the chances of spit-take are really high.

With 231k followers, the account is gaining popularity every day, and you can see why. For anyone who appreciates the absurdity of our everyday life, this one is a treat you’ve been waiting for. Psst! More of the worst newspaper headlines await in our previous post.

#1

This Is Beautiful

This Is Beautiful

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Don Golosso
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe he was really bad. In Dutch we'll call off key singing or playing "kattengejank" or cats crying. So maybe that's how he got his new audience...

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    After scrolling through this post, you may wonder what on earth the journalists, writers, and content creators were thinking to come up with such absurd headlines. Some of them are surely made out of pure bluntness, but others… they make you wonder. So in order to find out more about the art of headline making, we spoke to Lina Survila, an editor in chief of “Abstract Stylist” online magazine who has years of experience of working in press.

    Lina started off by saying that getting your headline clicked is hard work. “Unfortunately, editors are often pressured to bring better results with each article, so headline wars have become the real deal today."

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    It turns out that there's a fine line between an informative headline and a fake one, Lina argues. “First, we all need to know that headlines play a big role in Google's ranking magic. Every editor has a wish for their article to reach the top position, meaning more clicks if a user is often searching for it.”

    “So because an editor wants to reach more people, they end up using trendy keywords which result in misleading headlines,” Lina explained and added that it happens more often than you’d think.

    #7

    Legend

    Legend

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    Buren
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hope there is a way for him to do things he loves. Nursing home shouldn't be prison

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    Meanwhile, the news headlines sometimes “sound a little harsh sometimes, as they're spoiling all articles for everyone. But poetic, beautiful headlines often don't capture the essence of the text, so people who are used to reading their news fast don't take time to appreciate it or click to see if this article is something in their interest.”

    The problem is that nowadays, anything can be called news, according to Lina. “An elephant giving birth is news, a funny story about a chicken is news. It gets people's attention. You can’t blame them. If this is the content they read and actually click on it, editors will have to produce more of it.”

    #12

    Awww

    Awww

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    Spock's Socks
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think duck costume therapy for anxiety attacks should be mandatory. "I am so cute I forgot about crying"

    Sofie
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My therapist did suggest using a weighted blanket or vest to ease anxiety, for real. The vest you could for example wear before an exam. When I tried the vest on it felt like someone was holding me which was comforting but also made me feel even more lonely 🤣 But anyway I can understand why this goat feels safe wearing that costume.

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    However, fake news is something that should be taken more seriously. Lina explained that “clickbait headlines often mislead people, and those who do not bother to open the article might mislead other people too by spreading the wrong message. For example, recently, I read that K. Reaves is married to Winona Ryder, well, it was stated in the headline, and actually, they were married in the movie.” Lina said it’s a good example of how misleading a headline can be, and in fact she would call it a case of “fake news.”

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    #13

    He Just Respects Mother Nature

    He Just Respects Mother Nature

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    cybermerlin2000
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The boss nods with admiration and says, "You have to come in after the kids have gone to school. I'm doing the same"

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    #18

    This Kid Is Ahead Of The Game

    This Kid Is Ahead Of The Game

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    #19

    Get Me There

    Get Me There

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    Don Golosso
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Simpsons did this too! But they added barber floor hair when people came to the fire to get high.

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    #23

    Oooof

    Oooof

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    September Meadows
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After this happened several people, who climbed Everest, and happen to be vegan, came forward and said it's been done, not realizing themselves it was such a big deal. Her autopsy showed she died of starvation. She wasn't consuming enough calories to keep up with what she was burning. You have to be eating constantly doing such things.

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    #26

    Same

    Same

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    J. F.
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She changed clothes and forgot that the description fitted her previous outfit IIRC

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    #27

    Got To Make Sure

    Got To Make Sure

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    #33

    No Wonder They Taste So Good

    No Wonder They Taste So Good

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    Rijkærd
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love the websites name. THEREISNEWS.COM well theres news for real.

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    #36

    I Don’t Think That’s How It Works...

    I Don’t Think That’s How It Works...

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    Dorothy Parker
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Genetically possible even if parents appear White. Mom's response, though...oh my.

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    #37

    That’s A Lot Of Divorce Papers Right There...

    That’s A Lot Of Divorce Papers Right There...

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    #38

    Hey Panini

    Hey Panini

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    Robert T
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If he looks like a panini, why did they use a picture of a cheese and ham toastie made with sliced white bread?

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    #40

    That Cat Must Feel Like A King

    That Cat Must Feel Like A King

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    #44

    Not All Heroes Wear Capes

    Not All Heroes Wear Capes

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    Paul Macdonell
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The ham and Pineapple pizza or known as an Hawaiian pizza was invented 40 years ago in Windsor Ontario. I love it but don't know why.....

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    #45

    Imagine

    Imagine

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    Daniel (ShadowDrakken)
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, you'd think you'd have figured it out by 6 months: "Hey, how come my puppies aren't growing? Shouldn't they be almost full size by now?"

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    #46

    I Like His Jeans

    I Like His Jeans

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    Robert T
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well she got to keep Rambo, but I can't find any footage of Rambo on the quadbike. https://twitter.com/i/events/812031134632509440

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    #48

    Very Helpful Drawing

    Very Helpful Drawing

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    #49

    Ironic

    Ironic

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    September Meadows
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Blood doping is unfair in sports but it's a boon when traveling! Did it in the military, no jet lag, super easy time zone adjustments, and getting climatized to a tropical environment from a winter temperate one was no problem, barely an inconvenience.

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    #53

    I Don’t Think Anyone Would Respond Well To This

    I Don’t Think Anyone Would Respond Well To This

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    #58

    There Goes My Hero

    There Goes My Hero

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Morgue employee dies from a heart attack after seeing one of his clients came back to life, then wakes up at work and gets back to work."

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    #63

    The Choice Of Pictures Is Killing Me

    The Choice Of Pictures Is Killing Me

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    cybermerlin2000
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why we have so many variations now that we can only read them in a flick book

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    #68

    Ffs

    Ffs

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    Raven Sheridan
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    While I disapprove of his actions, I can't help but admire his commitment. 🤔

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    #70

    Why Are They Always From Florida Tho?

    Why Are They Always From Florida Tho?

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    Raj Kuthrapali
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes. Picowaves are easily agitated and will absolutely bring the roof down.

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    #73

    Tag A Ginger Who Should Try This

    Tag A Ginger Who Should Try This

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    A B C
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So that's what they mean by "sunday sport"? What did he do the other days?

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    #76

    Why Am I Not Surprised?

    Why Am I Not Surprised?

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    Atero
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Funny, cause here it is constantly sold out pretty much everywhere.

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    #79

    This Is Not Going To End Well

    This Is Not Going To End Well

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    #83

    The Most Relatable News Headline I've Ever Read

    The Most Relatable News Headline I've Ever Read

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