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Getting drunk and stepping into that party zone is something that many of us have done at least once in our lives. Well, I'm being modest here - some of us do it every weekend. But it is not so hard for drunk people to lose control and cross the border from lubricated to morose, as it happened to the party animals below.
Usually, people try to forget their nights of alcohol abuse, but Jimmy Fallon has asked them to face the shame and share their funny stories. Maybe it was the chance to be featured on the Tonight Show, perhaps the desire to relate to others, but it worked. Fallon's fans quickly started tweeting about the crazy and cringe-worthy things they or their friends have done or written in drunk texts when they've had one shot too many.
From giving taxi drivers a hard time to getting a tattoo and remorseful, though at that time, funny drunk texts, these stories prove that our brains enter auto-pilot mode when our livers are working overtime. Scroll down to check out some of the most embarrassing posts under the #MyDrunkStory hashtag and upvote your most/least favorite ones!
P.S.: We do not advocate hard partying and alcohol abuse. If you or someone you know has a drinking problem, ask for help from professionals!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
stellermatt 7 years ago
so, was he still holding your hair back while you're walking around the yard? like some kind of drunk pony?
~Ravenclaw~ OwO 7 years ago
This is actually like that one song! Say You Won't Let Go! That's really sweet.
Ewa Buczek 7 years ago
He saw You vomiting and still married You. I wish I had met such a great guy
RELATED:
#3
Courtney Graham 7 years ago
Old enough to legally drink but you come home to your parent's house and get grounded??
Nadine Ducca 7 years ago
Well, you live under your parents' roof, you live under their rules. ;-)
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Katinka Min 7 years ago
This story will become part of the family legends till the day of her funeral :-D (May she live long and prosper!)
Euna Magbitang 4 years ago
He's older than 21 and still lives with his parents? Or maybe it's a fake ID.
#4
~Ravenclaw~ OwO 7 years ago
:'D That's funny. That happened to me once except I was at a concert. Also, I wasn't drunk.
We Were On A Break! 7 years ago
Reminds me of Jesse from Breaking Bad that Called Heisenberg "Mr white" throughout all the series, even after all the s**t they went through together.
#5
Just Amiable 7 years ago
I would have been that friend who would have mentioned he also has no lips just to see if she would have gotten more hysterical ... As you can see I don't make the best of friends 😂
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Useless Panda 7 years ago
I agree. Why does no one care about what happened to the person who got their birthday crown stolen?
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#8
Bunnies are better!! 7 years ago
It stands for John but Jasmine is so much better
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Gayle Bynum Cardosa 7 years ago
Oh my gosh there's a job I'd hate. Fielding public calls at the White House.
Jose Baeyens 7 years ago
Since then her house and all her activities are permanently on watch....
Rosemary Booth 7 years ago
Jasmine? Hmmm, maybe it is - I'm also pretty sure that Mitt Romney's real name is "Mittens".
#10
logical fallacy 7 years ago
Yeah... I've apologized to my reflection for bumbing unto it, and then apologised again by saying 'I'm sorry, I thought you were another person'. I was sober.
Gabi 7 years ago
Yesterday, while cleaning, I kicked some toy car and it turned itself on and yelled "HEY THERE!", to which I automatically replied "sorry"
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Andrea Devine 7 years ago
I apologize to inanimate objects all the time. It proves how well my parents raised me.
BarryAllenTheFlash 7 years ago
I have had a staring contest with someone across the room in a resturant for a soild ten minutes. It was my reflection (I won!) ;)
#11
lazy panda 7 years ago
It's like the episode of Parks and Rec where Andy and April go to the bar and see who can get more free stuff!
Nomadus Aureus 7 years ago
Something similar happened to me on my 21st birthday. I had enough money to buy entry tickets and a round for all of my friends. After one of them decided to get on stage and announce that it was my big day, everybody and their dog started to get me drinks, which I of course politely accepted. Somehow, next day I realised I now had more money in my wallet than the amount I've left with the day before...
bern Habubbi 7 years ago
Goes out - steals everyones stuff - admits to crime - people applaud. Welcome to 2018!
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Sandra Josefine Langvatznes 7 years ago
Really..? I might move. I love Ireland! The dialects, the nature and being able to pee anywhere; that's freedom.
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Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
for some strange reason, people not take kindly to pissing in the middle of the street. Same thing where I live.
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#14
BeNT- 7 years ago
At least drunk you didn't go to the mall and get stuck on a broke escalator. This one guy even kept showing me I could walk up it, but he said I kept crying and screaming for him to come back and rescue me.
Lauren Shields 7 years ago
I've absolutely done this. Even recorded a "goodbye message" for my family before someone outside pressed the up button...
#15
Gayle Bynum Cardosa 7 years ago
I love how she barely gets off the ground. In her mind she's doing parkour but in reality? Not so much.
#16
MauKini 7 years ago
Lets hope it was a nokia... (Did they have airplane mode? Cant remember..)
Abraham Marshall 3 years ago
Little known fact that airplane mode has 4 different things it can do, including, turn into an airplane.
Just Amiable 7 years ago
....I want to do this to my cell phone all the time ... Not because I'm drunk but because it's a POS
#17
~Ravenclaw~ OwO 7 years ago
O-O Let's hope he knew that you were drunk. Otherwise he might show up at your door with chocolates and flowers to take you on a date.
LittleGrayMouse 7 years ago
Ok no wait, I just realised how awfully awkward that must be... Maybe even worse than telling your crush...
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#18
Tiffany Zhu 7 years ago
I feel like the drunk person was the person who asked "Who's cooking a sock?!" because you can't really cook a sock. A better question would be "Who is microwaving a sock?!"
Rebecca Anderson 7 years ago
I feel bad for the poor drunk dude who thought he was getting some yummy food.
Phil The Computer 7 years ago
In the state of hogwarts academy localized completely inside dumbledore's office, socks are eaten, and even celebrated. Socks in drawers, in cabinets on shelves. Everywhere, and only on one day socks are not celebrated, and that is on national sock day, because if you're going to celebrate something every day, don't celebrate it on the day it's actually celebrated, let that be the one day you don't. sometimes, students even turn socks into food and eat them. So it's not so absurd, if wizards do it
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stellermatt 7 years ago
surprised they didn't shave it first, but I guess that's not top of the list of things questionable about this whole thing...
Bored Fox 7 years ago
Maybe they shaved the armpit first and this is just a new photo of an old tattoo. But anyway many tattoo shops only make tattoos for the sober people and that is the best policy.
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Alusair Alustriel 7 years ago
Yeah right, and they haven't shaved the area + no foil etc. Cmon.
Lenah Hedéen 7 years ago
Be glad that you did it in English - in Sweden "Pitt" means d**k and that Brad-tattoo would have been sooo much worse. At least more painful!
#22
Gayle Bynum Cardosa 7 years ago
gross. I'm not buying used luggage, dishware, etc. You never know what people do with it.
Jessamyn Zolczynski 7 years ago
Why the downvote? I wouldn't either after reading this
Load More Replies... Jill Rhoads 7 years ago
Of course the ”we’re married now” makes it MUCH less embarrasing...wink wink. My husband wont let me live down any of my stupidity while drinking.
Danny Sever 6 years ago
I was on tour with two bands in bc and Alberta. One of the guys parents got us a hotel room juts outside Edmonton. The singer of my band peed on our partner bands bassists who was sleeping on the floor. I was like " hey man you gotta go to the wash roo. You cant pee there" He stopped and responded "ah huh ya oh ok", then went back to peeing on the bassist who was passed out solid. Best tour story I have yet.
Cody Eriksen 7 years ago
My husband did this to me. Except, he lifted the mattress and peed in between the box spring and mattress. Then there was the time in our old place the closet door and bathroom door were next to each other....
Cody Eriksen 7 years ago
Then there was the time in the corner thinking he was at a BBQ.This was at least 10 years ago.
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Gayle Bynum Cardosa 7 years ago
How many female friendships are made in bathrooms in bars across the world? Women have this weird bond don't we? We can just look at each others and grab hands and that's it, we're friends. Guys just can't do that - or can they?
blugeagua 7 years ago
Anyway yeah I agree with you that there is this disgusting and untrue stereotype that women only compete with each other which is just f*****g ridiculous. It's another form of misogyny that people use against women and it needs to stop.
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#26
Barbara Cooke 7 years ago
Yep too much tequila and there is video of me on the floor watching the walls breathe.
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Tiffany Zhu 7 years ago
That bouncer probably wished that every drunk person was as polite as you.
#29
Hazel Macmillan 7 years ago
I had this bad habit of taking my watch off and putting it in the fridge when i got home from drinking. Almost every time. I don't even remember doing.
#30
Phil The Computer 7 years ago
Finally a lesser known r&m reference because it's not overused. Finally. Not pickle rick!
Load More Replies... Barbara Cooke 7 years ago
My son-in-law did that to my gnome (it held my spare door key). He handed me the pieces telling me there had been a catastrophic accident and hoped it wasn't fatal. I gave him points for saying catastrophic in his condition.
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#33
alwright 7 years ago
IDK maybe it could have been a weird spelling like Raune XD
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Signe Manat Hansen 7 years ago
It does work, you just gotta answer "duh, I meant your last name".
Just A Banana. 3 years ago
When I was in school, there was a game where we had to talk to everyone in the class by name. I just asked how to spell when I couldn't n remember. This same thing happened with John.
#34
BarryAllenTheFlash 7 years ago
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...
Clinton Yew 7 years ago
If you are my son, I would tied you on top of the car and drove home... with camera recording how you "swim" back home and that video will be his birthday present.
#35
Anja Henriksen 7 years ago
I've been cutting my shoe laces many times; luckily they are way cheaper :D
#36
#37
Just Amiable 7 years ago
Sorry but every time I hear Idaho I think of potatoes so I know if given enough drinks... And someone saying they were from Idaho, I'd probably tell them they were the prettiest potato I've ever seen. 😂 If this pops in my head when I'm sober, I know never drink with someone from Idaho.
#38
Fabian Fäbs 7 years ago
You seem a litte biased towards men, eh? He actually reacted quite funny!
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~Ravenclaw~ OwO 7 years ago
Who wants to bet this is a canadian? I do! Canadians are so nice. XD
Jenny Lorenz 7 years ago
I'm american. If I bump into someone, I say "excuse me." Or "sorry"
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#41
Furious_Lover 7 years ago
How can one get made and divorce a person if the say something drunk?
Clinton Yew 7 years ago
Because when a person is drunk-speaking, it is usually what they really had in mind. When you are sober, you put too many things into consideration and might not be saying your true feeling.
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JillVille Child Care 7 years ago
So close to what hubs did the other night. He managed to turn the fan for the microwave exhaust on, so it sounded like the microwave was on... except he was still trying to get the leftovers out of the bowl. Found him on the floor too. Thank goodness he didn't actually turn on the microwave empty! Not sure how much it likes that.
Hamlets twin 7 years ago
It wouldn't matter to the microwave if it were empty. Maybe existentially ... anyway you'd just be wasting power
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JD Cassavaugh 7 years ago
I actually did this sober at a school dance, because the DJ put on Bon Jovi. Ripped my new stockings all to Hell. Oh, well it's my life...
Willem Groenewald 7 years ago
My friend did a similar slide on his stomach at a foam party. Unfortunately it was a very rough concrete floor. I think he still has scares 15 years later. It was the same night we lost him, police then dropped him off, but unfortunately he showed them the wrong house. He eventually showed up the next morning.
Isaura Scarlet 7 years ago
I did the same with my new pants when I was 8. Don't drink too much apple juice, kiddos.
#46
Weeping Willowz (WeepingWillowz) 7 years ago
He didn’t have to make fun of you, you were drunk!
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#51
JD Cassavaugh 7 years ago
Mixed with pool water by the time she swam to him
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#52
Just Amiable 7 years ago
Better yet, why did the other person just sit there while a stranger sat their in their lap? Someone coming towards me like that, it's an auto-a*s punch, no questions asked.
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#53
Just Amiable 7 years ago
Omfg this story just reminded me of one of the 1000 ways to die episodes.. There was this woman who purchased a carrot 😬
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#56
Just Amiable 7 years ago
In that situation it probably brought back many fun memories for him when he was young, people don't want to think about it, but our elders had just as much fun as we do, and some still do 👍
#57
#58
Just Amiable 7 years ago
Right!? So glad this wasn't me, I don't think people would appreciate an apology coming from someone who just vomit all over them who is also laughing hysterically 😂
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BarryAllenTheFlash 7 years ago
To me, the worst part about that story is the loss of a perfectly good cupcake.
#60
GlassOfWater 7 years ago
I have a MINI Cooper S and I do that all the time with added racing (NEOW) sounds XD
Long Joan Silver 7 years ago
It happens. Sometimes people cannot handle their emotions after a funeral, and they try to mask their grief with alcohol. I did that on the day that I found out that my cousin had passed away. Almost filled an entire large glass with rum, and put a tiny bit of coke in. It was a coping mechanism for that night. I didn't handle that loss well at all.
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#63
Stannous Flouride 7 years ago
There's a guy who lives in my same Congressional district who has the same 1st & last name and 1952 date of birth. It's not a common name and it took us a while to figure out why when either of us moved we got de-registered to vote and I once had my passport cancelled. It still pops up every once in a while but we have different middle names.
#64
Caitlin Smith 7 years ago
I have done this, on more than one occasion, sober. Minus the exclamation of my wizardly-ness
JD Cassavaugh 7 years ago
Yes, usually for my art locker at school, but no booze to blame.
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bern Habubbi 7 years ago
I did this but to a hotel next to the one i was staying in, i spent 2-3 hours asking for directions (to pretty much next door) in 5 min intervals as i couldn't find the right hotel. I was found helping opening a cafe with no idea what the hell was going on, fun night
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#71
Willem Groenewald 7 years ago
Someone tried to play a prank at a party by putting fake poo (coffee and wet toilet paper) on the toilet seat. My now wife was the first to go in. No shreak, no comment when she came out and the toilet was clean. I asked her about it, and she said she thought someone had an accident and she didn't want to make it awkward for them.
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Hugo Raible 7 years ago
I mean, they are all stories of heavy drug abuse, so...
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Magpie 7 years ago
That was actually quite kind. Could have been a LOT Worse things she could write on there.
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Hollie Newton 7 years ago
1. Why didn't police take her to a safe place 2. What a d******d driver idc if she don't have money she's drunk take her to where she needs to be and work out the money side of things after I know they loose business to drunk people but the police trusted him to make sure she was safe...
#85
Thomas Turnbull 7 years ago
I took my jeans off after been caught in the rain to have a bath when I saw how blue my legs where I thought I had some circulation problems and started to worry once I got in the bath it all washed off much to my relief and the sad thing is I was sober
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BusLady 7 years ago
Why do so many ppl have problems with this? You are is hyphenated into you're, like Taryn said.
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#91
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Megan Spainhour 7 years ago
So you were driving drunk.... awesome idea, great thinking... idiot.
Gayle Bynum Cardosa 7 years ago
David F. Deluca, making himself look like a douche bag for driving fully drunk.
Irene Lundrigan 7 years ago
Dominos keeps electronic records of your phone number that include your address.
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Ender Newfie 7 years ago
Even though he was DWI he had a really good idea of following the driver to his house.
Rebecca Cote 7 years ago
And how did you order a pizza without telling the driver where you lived...
Mohd Sharif 7 years ago
probably fake but if this this really happened confessing about a DUI on twitter probably not a good idea
#93
BusLady 7 years ago
If she goes, she'll never come back. Then Mom would know
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Stannous Flouride 7 years ago
A misconception among the public is that you can’t drive if you can’t hear. But it’s been shown that being deaf has no negative impacts on your ability to drive. There are many ways that deaf drivers do so safely. Drivers who are deaf utilize special devices that alert them when emergency vehicle sirens are nearby. Car horns can also be detected using this system and give deaf drivers the notification they need to proceed with caution. Some devices are able to distinguish the sound using a panel with multiple indicators.
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#99
WeWillJustSeeAboutThat 7 years ago
Curious if there is any websites out there to "undrunk yourself"... now I away... to Google!
#100
Nikki D 7 years ago
Yeah a lot of these people are really lucky that things didn't turn out worse..
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Jill Rhoads 7 years ago
I think the evening was going to be interesting from the start..”dressed as banana”..yeah, thats normal.
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Cynthia Allard 7 years ago
OMG, what!!!!?? I really hope your neighbours consent that you kept her, otherwise you are a real garbage person. And you should return that dog to her righteous owners, they must be so heartbroken!!! ):(
Mariano Ciriaci 7 years ago
but, why!? why would you do that!? the owner must be really sad :(
Kayla renee 7 years ago
that's complete s**t >:( if some drunk idiot did that to me id be angry... I think anyone could agree if that happened to them.
Kenyatta Harmon 4 years ago
What unless the neighborhood were bad owners or agreed to this, then you suck.
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Danny Lakowski 7 years ago
When I was freshly 21, there was once I was at a house party and drank too much. Knowing I was too drunk, and not being capable of finding the bathroom, I went out to puke on the street in front of their house... like a gentleman. Somehow I got turned around and puked onto their grass instead of into the gutter. The circle of sad burnt out grass where I puked remained for the rest of my stay in that state.
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Ben S. 7 years ago
Sad isn't it? I know it a real problem in the U.S. People seem to think it's no big deal but thousands die every year because of it.
Load More Replies... karen snyder 7 years ago
Where does it say he was driving at all? I have never driven in my life but I've been stopped by cops twice in one night.
#124
Pi... 7 years ago
But I just couldn't stop in time! I knew where this was heading!
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Mariano Ciriaci 7 years ago
i did it sober.. yeap i know, im the worst. idk what i was thinking..
#126
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What do you think ?
Pamela 7 years ago
I don't drink any more, because I make an awful drunk. One time I was very drunk and I remember seeing this cute cat and thinking I wanted to pet it. My ex said I came back to the house party with the cat in my arms and it turns out I took it from some ones yard and they saw the whole thing. The owner came looking for me and everyone had to apologize I stole their cat lol
Shana 7 years ago
I rarely drink, and even if I do, I never get drunk. Reading some stories in here, I guess that's a good choice :P Also drunk drivers, please go hand in your license before you kill someone.... -_- I I don't care if someone likes getting blackout wasted or whatever, but get a cab or walk and get lost for all I care, but you shouldn't endanger anyone.
Ladies and Gentlemen 7 years ago
#MyDrunkStory - Umm what we are talking about here? #Blackouts
Sam shoo 6 years ago
Never get drunk again, it’s not worth the guilt, the sheer remembering what you said last night truly isn’t worth it. Everyone has a different personality when drunk, I’ve discovered mine isn’t a very nice one. I don’t agree with these thoughts in any way shape or form, I was a horrible guy to my girlfriend who ultimately did nothing wrong, I called her ugly and said I don’t even know why I’m with her, if that’s not bad enough it was at a party and I still cannot remember at all, it’s what I was told in the morning. This could’ve been the end to our relationship, Ik some people would’ve drawn the line but she didn’t and I’m so lucky. My advice is drink but drink responsibly, it’s not worth the morning after, you’ll say something you regret and that’s it could have long lasting effects you’ll never change, ever.
Marnee DeRider 7 years ago
So, then there was the time when I made my (non-drunk) friend pull the car over when I saw some ducks. I then spent 5 minutes giving a heart-felt sermon in a loud southern Baptist preacher drawl (I'm from MN) about how "These ducks are our friends. We must honor and protect them, and keep them in our good graces..." on and on. My friends were on the lawn rolling with laughter. "These ducks are our friends," became a code phrase for us after that.
Miroslava Simeonova 7 years ago
Midland - Drinkin' Problem https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7f6HiQ2LuU
Pamela 7 years ago
I don't drink any more, because I make an awful drunk. One time I was very drunk and I remember seeing this cute cat and thinking I wanted to pet it. My ex said I came back to the house party with the cat in my arms and it turns out I took it from some ones yard and they saw the whole thing. The owner came looking for me and everyone had to apologize I stole their cat lol
Shana 7 years ago
I rarely drink, and even if I do, I never get drunk. Reading some stories in here, I guess that's a good choice :P Also drunk drivers, please go hand in your license before you kill someone.... -_- I I don't care if someone likes getting blackout wasted or whatever, but get a cab or walk and get lost for all I care, but you shouldn't endanger anyone.
Ladies and Gentlemen 7 years ago
#MyDrunkStory - Umm what we are talking about here? #Blackouts
Sam shoo 6 years ago
Never get drunk again, it’s not worth the guilt, the sheer remembering what you said last night truly isn’t worth it. Everyone has a different personality when drunk, I’ve discovered mine isn’t a very nice one. I don’t agree with these thoughts in any way shape or form, I was a horrible guy to my girlfriend who ultimately did nothing wrong, I called her ugly and said I don’t even know why I’m with her, if that’s not bad enough it was at a party and I still cannot remember at all, it’s what I was told in the morning. This could’ve been the end to our relationship, Ik some people would’ve drawn the line but she didn’t and I’m so lucky. My advice is drink but drink responsibly, it’s not worth the morning after, you’ll say something you regret and that’s it could have long lasting effects you’ll never change, ever.
Marnee DeRider 7 years ago
So, then there was the time when I made my (non-drunk) friend pull the car over when I saw some ducks. I then spent 5 minutes giving a heart-felt sermon in a loud southern Baptist preacher drawl (I'm from MN) about how "These ducks are our friends. We must honor and protect them, and keep them in our good graces..." on and on. My friends were on the lawn rolling with laughter. "These ducks are our friends," became a code phrase for us after that.
Miroslava Simeonova 7 years ago
Midland - Drinkin' Problem https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7f6HiQ2LuU
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