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People Are Exposing The Totally Unrealistic Behaviors Of TV Or Movie Characters In Funny Tweets (40 Pics)
When you think about it, TV Land is such a weird place. Characters never seem to finish their meals (and leave most of their food untouched in cafes which hurts me on a personal level), they don’t say ‘goodbye’ when they end their calls, and whenever they switch on the TV, there’s always a news segment on that’s relevant to their situation.
Really, life seems much more convenient on-screen. But it is raising some eyebrows. So much so that the people over on Twitter are posting example after example of how bizarre life is when you’re a film or TV character. Scroll down to check out these funny quirks and remember to upvote the ones that made you pause for a moment.
Pop culture and entertainment expert Mike Sington, who is a former Senior Executive at NBCUniversal, explained to Bored Panda that unrealistic scenarios and acting decisions are required to keep the plot moving on a TV show. "No one wants to see characters eat a full meal, that would bring a storyline to a screeching halt! Things like seeing a relevant news segment playing can immediately fast forward a storyline or emphasize a plot point. It’s a common tool that writers use," he said. And we fully agree. (Though the Joey Tribbiani in all of us is wondering how good the meal has to be to get featured from start to finish.)
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#2
Sarcastic Panda 3 years ago
And I don’t ever crash unless I’m the bad guy or I need more emotional scarring
#3
Sarcastic Panda 3 years ago
It’s the tablecloth that annoys me... we never use tablecloths except at Christmas
Mike was brutal but honest in his evaluation of how much excitement there is any single one of our lives. "I’d estimate 80% of your real life would have to edited or rewritten to make it compelling and interesting to watch on screen. That may sound harsh because your real life is interesting to you, but probably not so much to a mass audience."
He added: "Deep down you know it because you’re only posting the highlights on social media. You’re actually already self-editing your own life for your audience."
We rarely think about how peculiar people act in movies and on TV shows because we’re so used to things that we don’t notice the discrepancies between their behavior and our lives. In other words, we’ve fully absorbed the weirdness and we’re no longer bothered by it… unless somebody on social media reminds us of it.
The trend seems to have been started by Tom Cox, a British author who was born in Nottinghamshire. He has published nearly a dozen books so far and plans to release 2 more in 2021. Some of the themes that he repeats in his books have to do with cats, golf, folklore, wildlife, local history, rock, and rambling.
Tom’s thread, which he started on the 26th of February, got over 15k likes and soon spread like wildfire. In fact, if you’ve been browsing Twitter this weekend, you might have noticed at least one or two people sharing the weird things that characters tend to do that befuddle us.
However, there are plenty of good reasons why movies and shows are so far removed from our daily lives. In brief, living as a human being is… quite ordinary. There’s lots of downtime. Lots of unscheduled pee breaks that get in the way of dramatic moments. And plenty of dullness without anything exciting happening.
#10
Linus Nilsson 3 years ago
What? You guys needs to go to the toilet directly after waking up? I always have breakfast first
That’s why it’s so important to edit real life into something that’s fit for watching. Sure, there will always be some people who have the patience to watch paint dry/somebody working in their cubicle all day long only to go back home, microwave their dinner, and play video games. However, it doesn’t make for riveting TV for the vast majority of us.
By editing out inconveniences like needing to eat full meals (and the guilt of leaving so much food behind, as well as wasting food), showing people working and doing ordinary stuff like washing the dishes, scriptwriters, directors, and actors can get to the most exciting and interesting tidbits. The meat of things, so to speak. (Halloumi if you’re vegetarian, lettuce if you’re vegan.)
It probably won’t surprise you to learn that audiences tend to have very short attention spans. Digital Information World explains that back in 2000 we had an average attention span of 12 seconds. In 2015, this dropped to just over 8 seconds. Research has shown that our attention spans are dropping.
The media we consume changes how attentive we are which in turn changes the media even more. In a fast-paced world, there’s no time for patience, no place for slow storylines and buildup, and especially no room for boring things that regular people do in real life that would mess with the fast pace of the story.
#16
Birgit Merkentrup 3 years ago
Haha, yes, and I'm always like "Why doesn't he/she just tell... ah, it's a movie..."
#18
Linus Nilsson 3 years ago
Also, simply walk away after giving a snippet of information. "You should talk to X, I can't say anymore, I already said too much"
However, even though our attention spans might be decreasing, it’s not just that. They’re being fractured as well. One screen isn’t enough for us anymore. A recent Total Audience Report that was conducted in 2018 by Nielsen showed that a whopping 88 percent of adults living in the US used their digital devices while watching TV either rarely, occasionally, or frequently.
#19
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Well, cops think they should live that way for real, from what I understand. So.... Yeah. Not good.
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Neva Nevičica 3 years ago
...AND you find the love of your life who is the complete opposite of you while doing it.
Rosie Hamilton 3 years ago
Not so much in the UK dramas... we had Morse but he didn't break the rules. Line of Duty is about catching those who aren't following the rules... so there's that I suppose.
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*insert funny name* 3 years ago
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Whawhawhatsis 3 years ago
And after I shoot somebody or even fire my weapon, I never have to go on admin leave, losing custody of my weapon temporarily in the process, and face a board to determine whether I behaved appropriately. Nope, I can just go straight out and shoot the *next* person!
Baby Panda 3 years ago
I'm from America and yes, that is exactly how the police here are, and they can also murder innocent people with little to no consequences.
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Caroline Overill 3 years ago
I am a person in a film. I am a good guy. I have a revolver. The bad guy has a machine gun which he sprays all over directly towards me. I shoot him, he misses me completely.
Eric Forster 3 years ago
......and that Internal Affairs cop has it in for me, because I slept with his wife.
Emyo Jennifer Nakayama 3 years ago
Looks like some police forces around the country are redefining themselves like the screen idol above.
Parker Kinsey 3 years ago
That’s because you’ve already been fired and now every case is personal!
Pezor Zass 3 years ago
And somehow, no matter what rules i break, my convictions are never overturned unless it's a very special episode...er, i mean case .
Shannon Oney 3 years ago
Am I the only one who is thinking of Hopper from Stranger Things? lolll
That means that a single screen is no longer enough to please viewers who are busy googling stuff related to what they’re watching, posting their thoughts about what’s happening on social media, or discussing the show with their friends. It’s a different form of engagement that doesn’t necessarily mean having your audience’s eyes glued to one screen.
Something else that we rarely think about (unless you’re a pro in the field) is how strangely people talk. When you’re chatting to someone (masked) face to (masked) face, everything sounds great. But if you happen to record or film the conversation, you might find a different side to the tale: the way that we speak in real life is often disorganized, broken, and unclear.
#26
Neva Nevičica 3 years ago
And always on some obscure instant message platform, nothing anyone has ever seen.
#27
M O'Connell 3 years ago
That implies they aren't aware of the muzzle energy of their particular firearm. For instance .38 Long Colt likely wouldn't come out the other side of their head. By comparison, 9mm Luger would have the aforementioned effects.
That’s why scriptwriters have no other choice than to write dialogue that people can actually understand. Sure, not many people speak this way IRL, but we have to think of what’s best for the audience. Do you want to listen to a guy or gal ramble on for 10 minutes or do you want a confident protagonist who enunciates well, argues well, and drops snappy one-liners?
#28
Perfumista Perfumista 3 years ago
and you will be an expert in pathology, fingerprints, and ballistics
#29
Neva Nevičica 3 years ago
And don't forget to victoriously announce: I'm in!' when you discover the password.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that ‘realistic dialogue’ has no place in filmography. It does, but it has to be skillfully crafted. Filmmakers like Woody Allen create realistic-sounding dialogue and it can be jarring to most of us who have grown up on a diet of delicately-curated sentences.
#32
Neva Nevičica 3 years ago
Hello, i am a boob in a TV drama. I am never, ever allowed to be seen because it's indecent and yucky. But if i grow on a leading female character, i am supposed to look perky and abundant through her clothes to make people know i'm there. My good friend nipple is allowed to be clearly seen if it grows on a male actor, of course.
#34
Rissie 3 years ago
Yeah, well, you can't actually put everything in now can you? You also don't see people actually walking/driving/biking somewhere the whole way. Or sleeping from beginning to end... That's not something you see that is actually not happening in real life. Like table cloths and turning your head for ten seconds at a time while driving...
#35
Neva Nevičica 3 years ago
Showers in the movies are there for crying or having sex. Not for washing.
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What do you think ?
troufaki13 3 years ago
Hello, I am a person in a movie and some police officers visit me to ask me about a case that happened 20 years ago. And of course I remember everything with every small detail (whereas I can't even remember what I ate last week!)
Bored Birgit 3 years ago
And I never hesitate if asked for an alibi, I know exactly what I have done every hour of days, weeks or months ago.
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Mrs_ Possum 3 years ago
Hello, I live in a movie. I can take days off work with no notice, and can instantly afford first class plane tickets on the first flight out of here to tell someone something that I apparently can't tell them on the phone, and that I spent the whole rest of the movie not telling them.
YoyoSthlm 3 years ago
Also, there's always an available seat on the plane.
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Lu Mxmo 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a person in a horror movie and, no matter what kind of ghost / demon / murder is in my dark house, I will never turn on the lights or buy new brighter lamps. And when I listen to something suspicious, I will say a "HELLO?!" out and loud to check if everything is ok.
Bored Birgit 3 years ago
I always ask in the dark downstairs " Who is there?" And the answer sadly never is "Just we pea cans".
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Jodi Adams 3 years ago
What about the actress who wakes up in bed at the crack of dawn wearing full make up, with false eyelashes (not crushed) and a shiny lip-glossed mouth?
Vanta Black 3 years ago
Hello, I am the protagonist/deuteragonist/other minor good character in a movie who has just bashed the serial killer over the head with a heavy object, and instead of hitting them again to make sure they're dead, or tying them up/locking them away until the police show, I question if they're dead, and lean over/touch the body, enabling the killer to grab me because they were fine the whole time.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Why only hit them once? Why not bash the s**t out of them to make damn sure they’re dead?
Load More Replies... Brivid 3 years ago
Hello I am almost any female character, other than grandmothers, and I like to wear impossibly short skirts that just cover my butt when standing. I never have to sit or bend down for anything!
MN 3 years ago
Hello, I am a scientist in a scifi movie and I'm going to take off my helmet on an alien spacecraft/planet because O2 readings are normal, without doing any further data collection and regardless of potential biohazards, pollutants or other alien nasties that might turn me inside out with one whiff.
JitkaBlitka 3 years ago (edited)
Hello, l am in a movie and I have sex with a guy I just met and it's really hot and no one is nervous, we both know what the other likes and we both have insane orgasm. Also no one laughs or talk, it's dead serious all the time. Oh, and we don't need to wash afterwards (or before), we just fall asleep naked covered in bodily fluids - but with modestly covered private parts.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Or use birth control, because we’re that damn confident the other person is completely healthy and doesn’t sleep with strangers. Oh. Wait.
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Wendillon 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a movie villain. I have perfect aim except when I'm trying to hit the protagonist even though he's running in a straight line and keeps poking his head out of cover.
Among Us 3 years ago
I'm a professional hitman who can kill many trained police, etc but when it comes to the hero, I'll miss my shot and get killed by him instead.
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Amy Dodds 3 years ago
I am a minor baddie in a movie. As soon as I receive a flesh wound to the arm, I fall down, instantly dead.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
I am middle-aged in any film or TV drama, and therefore of no value except as background as the aunt/teacher/deadbody even tho' in real life I am the same age as the actress playing the lead *teenager*.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Or actually young enough to be the ancient male lead’s daughter in real life, but in the movie he ends up with the 20 year old playing my granddaughter instead.
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Hollysmom 3 years ago
I am the hero in an action movie or tv show. Whenever I am near an explosion the force pushes me to safety with no injuries.
Winx 3 years ago
Hello, I am a person in a crime tv show. I will only appear to be mildly upset when I am told my husband/wife/best friend/roommate has been murdered and will immediately begin answering questions. I will also be rude to the cops at some point for no apparent reason.
Robert Brenneman 3 years ago
I am an actor shooting a weapon, it's never as loud as a real one, and there's no gunpowder smoke.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Hello, I’m an asshole haunting the comments section of this Bored Panda article, and I keep downvoting everybody, just because I’m an asshole. And I think no one is going to call me out on it. Tee-hee-hee! (You can now consider yourself called out, asshole!).
Thenatural 3 years ago
Hi..I'm a sci fi character...my ship travels across billions of miles at light speed to random planets where I will bump into people I know...
Crowley 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a madman with a blue box and I go around London luring young women into my box and telling them they can see every time and space reply if you know what series I'm talking about :)
Catlady6000 3 years ago
And the young women are all like "Seems reasonable " and go right along
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Maximum Ride 3 years ago
Hello, I live in a movie. I have 2 minutes to start the computer program to save the world! I type in password and open up program without internet issues or software updates.
Piet Puk 3 years ago (edited)
Hello, I am a person in a movie and when I am taken hostage and when my blindfold is removed I will not need to blink or adjust to the light. I am also a killer and instead of a headshot I will shoot at the protagonists torso and not check if I my bullet managed to kill.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Ever notice that no one who is tied up ever has an itchy or runny nose or hair falling into or tickling their face and driving them batshit crazy because their hands aren’t free and they can’t scratch or blow their nose, or get that damn hair out of their face?
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Joeshar 3 years ago
Hello I am a lonely house on the hill waiting for a lonely family to show them some surprises in my attic or basement. Did I say a child has been murdered and wants his/her soul to get free?
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
And no one ever tells them until they start experiencing strange s**t, what happened in that house. Because I believe, in most states at least, that realtors are required to advise prospective buyers that a property has the reputation of being haunted, and whether there have been verifiable reports of paranormal activity. Also if any horrific crimes were committed on the property. That way, if people still decide to move in, they can’t say they weren’t warned. I think it stems from the Amityville case, where it’s still kind of up in the air whether the reports of paranormal activity was credible, or were used to either make money or back out of the sale. Apparently, no one told the family, who was from out of town, about the DeFeo murders that happened there several years prior.
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Gilda Farrell 3 years ago
Hello, I am a cop in a movie. Someone has just called me to their home. I knock on the door but nobody answers. I just throw my shoulders against it a couple of times and it flies open. Hello, I am a person who gets punched or slapped hard on the face. My face never swells. Even if my nose gets broken it will look as pretty as before I was hit. Hello, I am a woman who goes to bed each night in full makeup. I awake the following morning with my make completely intact and as fresh as when I first put it on. In fact you will never see me putting makeup on. I look like that always.
Among Us 3 years ago
Hi! I'm in a Movie/TV show and a lot of murders have just happened. Instead of calling the police (which I assume is an offence for failure of reporting bodies), I'll investigate this peculiar crime scene with two of my rookie friends. F**k the police when you have me!
Biljana Malesevic 3 years ago
Hello, I am a mom of 5 year old in a movie, who is much smarter and wittier than me. My preschool child says things you would expect from at least 60 year old and has sense of humor as 45 year old stand up comic (and a good one). Also, as a woman, I eat only salad and nothing else.
Marianne Luginbuhl 3 years ago
Hi, I'm a TV dr and I just shocked asystole cuz everyone knows you must jump start your heart. Also, 75% of these patients survive with no neurological deficits.
Casey McAlister 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a person in a movie who goes to bed and I never get more than 10 seconds of sleep. And thank god for that, nobody wants to see an 8-hour scene of somebody sleeping. It's okay to skip irrelevant details, especially when they involve really long and monotonous processes.
YoyoSthlm 3 years ago
Hello. I'm an alien in a movie. We have unlocked doors/vents you can open and then crawl around the whole ship in/gun ports you can open from the outside; but even if we are more advanced than you we have no security system whatsoever.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
And human computer systems can not only link with our more advanced—-and ALIEN—-systems, but also send us a virus that completely obliterates all our operations, basically rendering us utterly vulnerable to human attack and annihilation.
Load More Replies... Linus Nilsson 3 years ago
They forgot the police detective who has an assistant just so he/she will think out loud
Jennie Doyle 3 years ago
Hello I am a woman in a movie I can walk perfectly in stilettos and no matter how much danger I am in or what is chasing me I don’t take them off when I am running for my life.
Kimberly Reetz 3 years ago
I am in a movie and I just woke up from my 4 month coma wide awake, bright, alert, and with perfect hair & makeup. Then I jump out of my hospital bed and run down the hallways chasing the person who tried to kill me.
Robert May 3 years ago
I'm a doctor in a movie and always available to accompany another actor, any time, any where - never need to make rounds or see patients.
Dee Stern 3 years ago
I'm in a movie and just spent the night with some hot guy I met. We wake up and my hair looks awesome, makeup perfect, and we look at each other and kiss. What? No gross morning breath? No bladder ready to burst? And for the record we both look like death warmed over. Gotta love the movies.
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
Hello, I work the nightshift in a crime lab, so it’s always dark. Also in the lab, where I strain to see the evidence, because there is NO light. Dark in the interrogation room too. And in the hotel, where the murderer is making a phonecall with a streak of light only falling on his eyes. It’s dark everywhere, all the time and I need to use a torch to check things out, because the lights are also all broken/electricity is out.
Mandy Mortimer 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a person driving a car in a film or TV series. I have to constantly adjust the steering wheel left and right even though I'm driving on a road that's dead-straight.
Truth Monster 3 years ago
I am a person in a movie. I don't get to say hello, because whenever someone needs to die but you don't want the audience to care, I'm a security guard. Or a maid.
Sleazy Weaver 3 years ago (edited)
Some of these are valid complaints, but most of them are just silly. Why do you want the movie to include characters going to the bathroom, sleeping for 8 hours, finishing a full meal, searching for a parking spacd for ten minutes, etc? That would be so incredibly dull. Who on earth would watch that? Also, why are people upset that characters don't deescalate situations properly? There's supposed to be drama! There's supposed to be conflict! It's a movie! Where do you think the plot comes from? A lot of these are nitpicky for no reason & if there was a movie made to fit the tastes of all these complainers I can guarantee they'd still complain because it would be such a boring movie.
Catlady6000 3 years ago
I actually want to see the movie with most of these
Load More Replies... jay gerhard 3 years ago
I'm in the jail in Dodge city and Mr. Dillon and Festus are 'in the office'. There's a large window in my cell with a few bars on it. Lots of fresh air and plenty of room to pass in a loaded gun or rifle.
jay gerhard 3 years ago
I'm in the jail in Dodge city and Mr. Dillon and Festus are in the "office". There's a large window high up in my cell with just a few bars on it. Plenty of room to pass me a loaded gun or rifle.
Logic and Reason 3 years ago
A lot of these had good reasons behind them. I don’t understand what the fuss is. Your suspension of disbelief can stand up to something like Avengers: Endgame but the second someone looks over while driving your immersion is shattered?
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Depends though. If the movie is trying to replicate real life to some extent, then it should make a certain amount of sense, both to the character and in general. Not everyone lives in a Ambien-induced waking dream.
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Bindivid Ual 3 years ago
Hello. I am a person in a film or TV show whose phone vibrates in my pocket with the same sound it can only make if it vibrated on a hard surface, like a table. Also, my phone ringtone and message notifcation is the same as everybody else's ringtone and notification sounds across my film universe and every other film universe.
Norman van Druten 3 years ago
Hello, I am drinking a beer in a movie. I can open the beer and take a quick swig then slam it down without it frothing and foaming all over the counter/table and onto the floor.
Stan Chung 3 years ago
Sniper closing their sniping eye to aim. LMAO. Silencers, they are not that silent!
Gilda Farrell 3 years ago
Hello, I am a cop. If I approach the door and find it locked, but no one will open it and I don't have a key I will throw my shoulder against it a couple of times and the door will pop open. Hello, I am a woman who wears full make-up to bed. I wake up in the morning and my make-up is still as fresh as when I first put it on. In fact you will never see me putting it on. This is just how I look, always.
Bill Hart 3 years ago
I work in an office and talking to my boss about some project or problem we're working on when someone rushes into the office and tells us we have to turn on the TV. They don't mention the channel or what we need to see, but the TV we turn on goes immediately to a channel covering what we were talking about and somehow we've missed only the first few seconds of the broadcast.
Bill Evs 3 years ago
Someone orders food (usually in a diner) and as soon as it arrives they get an urgent call so get up and leave without taking a bite. Sorry, whoever is calling can wait a sec whilst they bag it up for me. Or a group are in a dangerous situation but none of them have a phone signal to call for help. Seriously, not a single one of you has got even a tiny bit of signal? Also why do ghost hunters (and I don't even mean in movies but on "reality" ghost hunting shows) walk around in the dark? Do ghosts only come out in the dark?
Gary 3 years ago
I'm the target of a murderer, I run, trip over and then hide whilst the murderer is strolling along and mysteriously knows which way I have gone. Just keep running for 10 minutes in sort of a straight line and they will never catch you because you will be a mile away whilst they are taking a stroll.
Firefoxy3121 3 years ago
Hello, I'm home alone but with competent robbers who aren't stupid enough to fall for a little kids trap attempts
Pusfarm 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a bad guy in a movie/TV show. Me and my large team of bad guys trained by terrorists are armed to the teeth with weaponry and endless ammunition, trying to kill the good guy. Despite our copious weapons, ammunition and training, and collectively firing hundreds of rounds per second, the good guy running hundreds of feet across an open area with no protection is never touched by the fusillade. We are apparently the worst shots in the world's history of firing weapons.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
Hi! I’m a woman in a movie who has had to fight hard to get to the top of my game and achieve high rank and power, in business and/or politics. Even though I’m old and experienced enough to know better, I just willingly jeopardize all my hard won accomplishments, totally debase myself, and just fall into bed with the absolute worst person possible, resulting in a scandal and disgrace that could’ve been so easily avoided by using the both my common sense and critical thinking skills—-which I should have if I’ve been able to come so far and be so successful. This can also apply to a man, but the person he falls in bed with has to be way more extremely wrong. Like raping his own underage daughters wrong, not just sleeping with a gigolo who is at least a consenting adult who’s not also your own child.
William Teach 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a car salesperson in a movie/TV show and I'm always out to screw my customer, which would totally get me bad reviews and lose myself and my dealership referrals and repeat business
Anthony Goldstein (female) 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a really ambitious woman. I just found out I am pregnant. This child will ruin my career, as I'm still in college and I would have to drop out, but of course i'm going to continue with it!
CatWoman312 3 years ago
Can we please limit posts to like 50? Honestly after 30 I’ve gotten the point. It just gets redundant.
selioraxemaia 3 years ago
Hello I'm trying to watch a movie and all of the people around me with apparently no imagination can't enjoy the movie because they are so focused on things that really aren't important.
troufaki13 3 years ago
Hello, I am a person in a movie and some police officers visit me to ask me about a case that happened 20 years ago. And of course I remember everything with every small detail (whereas I can't even remember what I ate last week!)
Bored Birgit 3 years ago
And I never hesitate if asked for an alibi, I know exactly what I have done every hour of days, weeks or months ago.
Load More Replies... Mrs_ Possum 3 years ago
Hello, I live in a movie. I can take days off work with no notice, and can instantly afford first class plane tickets on the first flight out of here to tell someone something that I apparently can't tell them on the phone, and that I spent the whole rest of the movie not telling them.
YoyoSthlm 3 years ago
Also, there's always an available seat on the plane.
Load More Replies... Lu Mxmo 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a person in a horror movie and, no matter what kind of ghost / demon / murder is in my dark house, I will never turn on the lights or buy new brighter lamps. And when I listen to something suspicious, I will say a "HELLO?!" out and loud to check if everything is ok.
Bored Birgit 3 years ago
I always ask in the dark downstairs " Who is there?" And the answer sadly never is "Just we pea cans".
Load More Replies... Jodi Adams 3 years ago
What about the actress who wakes up in bed at the crack of dawn wearing full make up, with false eyelashes (not crushed) and a shiny lip-glossed mouth?
Vanta Black 3 years ago
Hello, I am the protagonist/deuteragonist/other minor good character in a movie who has just bashed the serial killer over the head with a heavy object, and instead of hitting them again to make sure they're dead, or tying them up/locking them away until the police show, I question if they're dead, and lean over/touch the body, enabling the killer to grab me because they were fine the whole time.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Why only hit them once? Why not bash the s**t out of them to make damn sure they’re dead?
Load More Replies... Brivid 3 years ago
Hello I am almost any female character, other than grandmothers, and I like to wear impossibly short skirts that just cover my butt when standing. I never have to sit or bend down for anything!
MN 3 years ago
Hello, I am a scientist in a scifi movie and I'm going to take off my helmet on an alien spacecraft/planet because O2 readings are normal, without doing any further data collection and regardless of potential biohazards, pollutants or other alien nasties that might turn me inside out with one whiff.
JitkaBlitka 3 years ago (edited)
Hello, l am in a movie and I have sex with a guy I just met and it's really hot and no one is nervous, we both know what the other likes and we both have insane orgasm. Also no one laughs or talk, it's dead serious all the time. Oh, and we don't need to wash afterwards (or before), we just fall asleep naked covered in bodily fluids - but with modestly covered private parts.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Or use birth control, because we’re that damn confident the other person is completely healthy and doesn’t sleep with strangers. Oh. Wait.
Load More Replies... Wendillon 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a movie villain. I have perfect aim except when I'm trying to hit the protagonist even though he's running in a straight line and keeps poking his head out of cover.
Among Us 3 years ago
I'm a professional hitman who can kill many trained police, etc but when it comes to the hero, I'll miss my shot and get killed by him instead.
Load More Replies... Amy Dodds 3 years ago
I am a minor baddie in a movie. As soon as I receive a flesh wound to the arm, I fall down, instantly dead.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
I am middle-aged in any film or TV drama, and therefore of no value except as background as the aunt/teacher/deadbody even tho' in real life I am the same age as the actress playing the lead *teenager*.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Or actually young enough to be the ancient male lead’s daughter in real life, but in the movie he ends up with the 20 year old playing my granddaughter instead.
Load More Replies... Hollysmom 3 years ago
I am the hero in an action movie or tv show. Whenever I am near an explosion the force pushes me to safety with no injuries.
Winx 3 years ago
Hello, I am a person in a crime tv show. I will only appear to be mildly upset when I am told my husband/wife/best friend/roommate has been murdered and will immediately begin answering questions. I will also be rude to the cops at some point for no apparent reason.
Robert Brenneman 3 years ago
I am an actor shooting a weapon, it's never as loud as a real one, and there's no gunpowder smoke.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Hello, I’m an asshole haunting the comments section of this Bored Panda article, and I keep downvoting everybody, just because I’m an asshole. And I think no one is going to call me out on it. Tee-hee-hee! (You can now consider yourself called out, asshole!).
Thenatural 3 years ago
Hi..I'm a sci fi character...my ship travels across billions of miles at light speed to random planets where I will bump into people I know...
Crowley 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a madman with a blue box and I go around London luring young women into my box and telling them they can see every time and space reply if you know what series I'm talking about :)
Catlady6000 3 years ago
And the young women are all like "Seems reasonable " and go right along
Load More Replies... Maximum Ride 3 years ago
Hello, I live in a movie. I have 2 minutes to start the computer program to save the world! I type in password and open up program without internet issues or software updates.
Piet Puk 3 years ago (edited)
Hello, I am a person in a movie and when I am taken hostage and when my blindfold is removed I will not need to blink or adjust to the light. I am also a killer and instead of a headshot I will shoot at the protagonists torso and not check if I my bullet managed to kill.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Ever notice that no one who is tied up ever has an itchy or runny nose or hair falling into or tickling their face and driving them batshit crazy because their hands aren’t free and they can’t scratch or blow their nose, or get that damn hair out of their face?
Load More Replies... Joeshar 3 years ago
Hello I am a lonely house on the hill waiting for a lonely family to show them some surprises in my attic or basement. Did I say a child has been murdered and wants his/her soul to get free?
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
And no one ever tells them until they start experiencing strange s**t, what happened in that house. Because I believe, in most states at least, that realtors are required to advise prospective buyers that a property has the reputation of being haunted, and whether there have been verifiable reports of paranormal activity. Also if any horrific crimes were committed on the property. That way, if people still decide to move in, they can’t say they weren’t warned. I think it stems from the Amityville case, where it’s still kind of up in the air whether the reports of paranormal activity was credible, or were used to either make money or back out of the sale. Apparently, no one told the family, who was from out of town, about the DeFeo murders that happened there several years prior.
Load More Replies... Gilda Farrell 3 years ago
Hello, I am a cop in a movie. Someone has just called me to their home. I knock on the door but nobody answers. I just throw my shoulders against it a couple of times and it flies open. Hello, I am a person who gets punched or slapped hard on the face. My face never swells. Even if my nose gets broken it will look as pretty as before I was hit. Hello, I am a woman who goes to bed each night in full makeup. I awake the following morning with my make completely intact and as fresh as when I first put it on. In fact you will never see me putting makeup on. I look like that always.
Among Us 3 years ago
Hi! I'm in a Movie/TV show and a lot of murders have just happened. Instead of calling the police (which I assume is an offence for failure of reporting bodies), I'll investigate this peculiar crime scene with two of my rookie friends. F**k the police when you have me!
Biljana Malesevic 3 years ago
Hello, I am a mom of 5 year old in a movie, who is much smarter and wittier than me. My preschool child says things you would expect from at least 60 year old and has sense of humor as 45 year old stand up comic (and a good one). Also, as a woman, I eat only salad and nothing else.
Marianne Luginbuhl 3 years ago
Hi, I'm a TV dr and I just shocked asystole cuz everyone knows you must jump start your heart. Also, 75% of these patients survive with no neurological deficits.
Casey McAlister 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a person in a movie who goes to bed and I never get more than 10 seconds of sleep. And thank god for that, nobody wants to see an 8-hour scene of somebody sleeping. It's okay to skip irrelevant details, especially when they involve really long and monotonous processes.
YoyoSthlm 3 years ago
Hello. I'm an alien in a movie. We have unlocked doors/vents you can open and then crawl around the whole ship in/gun ports you can open from the outside; but even if we are more advanced than you we have no security system whatsoever.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
And human computer systems can not only link with our more advanced—-and ALIEN—-systems, but also send us a virus that completely obliterates all our operations, basically rendering us utterly vulnerable to human attack and annihilation.
Load More Replies... Linus Nilsson 3 years ago
They forgot the police detective who has an assistant just so he/she will think out loud
Jennie Doyle 3 years ago
Hello I am a woman in a movie I can walk perfectly in stilettos and no matter how much danger I am in or what is chasing me I don’t take them off when I am running for my life.
Kimberly Reetz 3 years ago
I am in a movie and I just woke up from my 4 month coma wide awake, bright, alert, and with perfect hair & makeup. Then I jump out of my hospital bed and run down the hallways chasing the person who tried to kill me.
Robert May 3 years ago
I'm a doctor in a movie and always available to accompany another actor, any time, any where - never need to make rounds or see patients.
Dee Stern 3 years ago
I'm in a movie and just spent the night with some hot guy I met. We wake up and my hair looks awesome, makeup perfect, and we look at each other and kiss. What? No gross morning breath? No bladder ready to burst? And for the record we both look like death warmed over. Gotta love the movies.
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
Hello, I work the nightshift in a crime lab, so it’s always dark. Also in the lab, where I strain to see the evidence, because there is NO light. Dark in the interrogation room too. And in the hotel, where the murderer is making a phonecall with a streak of light only falling on his eyes. It’s dark everywhere, all the time and I need to use a torch to check things out, because the lights are also all broken/electricity is out.
Mandy Mortimer 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a person driving a car in a film or TV series. I have to constantly adjust the steering wheel left and right even though I'm driving on a road that's dead-straight.
Truth Monster 3 years ago
I am a person in a movie. I don't get to say hello, because whenever someone needs to die but you don't want the audience to care, I'm a security guard. Or a maid.
Sleazy Weaver 3 years ago (edited)
Some of these are valid complaints, but most of them are just silly. Why do you want the movie to include characters going to the bathroom, sleeping for 8 hours, finishing a full meal, searching for a parking spacd for ten minutes, etc? That would be so incredibly dull. Who on earth would watch that? Also, why are people upset that characters don't deescalate situations properly? There's supposed to be drama! There's supposed to be conflict! It's a movie! Where do you think the plot comes from? A lot of these are nitpicky for no reason & if there was a movie made to fit the tastes of all these complainers I can guarantee they'd still complain because it would be such a boring movie.
Catlady6000 3 years ago
I actually want to see the movie with most of these
Load More Replies... jay gerhard 3 years ago
I'm in the jail in Dodge city and Mr. Dillon and Festus are 'in the office'. There's a large window in my cell with a few bars on it. Lots of fresh air and plenty of room to pass in a loaded gun or rifle.
jay gerhard 3 years ago
I'm in the jail in Dodge city and Mr. Dillon and Festus are in the "office". There's a large window high up in my cell with just a few bars on it. Plenty of room to pass me a loaded gun or rifle.
Logic and Reason 3 years ago
A lot of these had good reasons behind them. I don’t understand what the fuss is. Your suspension of disbelief can stand up to something like Avengers: Endgame but the second someone looks over while driving your immersion is shattered?
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Depends though. If the movie is trying to replicate real life to some extent, then it should make a certain amount of sense, both to the character and in general. Not everyone lives in a Ambien-induced waking dream.
Load More Replies... Bindivid Ual 3 years ago
Hello. I am a person in a film or TV show whose phone vibrates in my pocket with the same sound it can only make if it vibrated on a hard surface, like a table. Also, my phone ringtone and message notifcation is the same as everybody else's ringtone and notification sounds across my film universe and every other film universe.
Norman van Druten 3 years ago
Hello, I am drinking a beer in a movie. I can open the beer and take a quick swig then slam it down without it frothing and foaming all over the counter/table and onto the floor.
Stan Chung 3 years ago
Sniper closing their sniping eye to aim. LMAO. Silencers, they are not that silent!
Gilda Farrell 3 years ago
Hello, I am a cop. If I approach the door and find it locked, but no one will open it and I don't have a key I will throw my shoulder against it a couple of times and the door will pop open. Hello, I am a woman who wears full make-up to bed. I wake up in the morning and my make-up is still as fresh as when I first put it on. In fact you will never see me putting it on. This is just how I look, always.
Bill Hart 3 years ago
I work in an office and talking to my boss about some project or problem we're working on when someone rushes into the office and tells us we have to turn on the TV. They don't mention the channel or what we need to see, but the TV we turn on goes immediately to a channel covering what we were talking about and somehow we've missed only the first few seconds of the broadcast.
Bill Evs 3 years ago
Someone orders food (usually in a diner) and as soon as it arrives they get an urgent call so get up and leave without taking a bite. Sorry, whoever is calling can wait a sec whilst they bag it up for me. Or a group are in a dangerous situation but none of them have a phone signal to call for help. Seriously, not a single one of you has got even a tiny bit of signal? Also why do ghost hunters (and I don't even mean in movies but on "reality" ghost hunting shows) walk around in the dark? Do ghosts only come out in the dark?
Gary 3 years ago
I'm the target of a murderer, I run, trip over and then hide whilst the murderer is strolling along and mysteriously knows which way I have gone. Just keep running for 10 minutes in sort of a straight line and they will never catch you because you will be a mile away whilst they are taking a stroll.
Firefoxy3121 3 years ago
Hello, I'm home alone but with competent robbers who aren't stupid enough to fall for a little kids trap attempts
Pusfarm 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a bad guy in a movie/TV show. Me and my large team of bad guys trained by terrorists are armed to the teeth with weaponry and endless ammunition, trying to kill the good guy. Despite our copious weapons, ammunition and training, and collectively firing hundreds of rounds per second, the good guy running hundreds of feet across an open area with no protection is never touched by the fusillade. We are apparently the worst shots in the world's history of firing weapons.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
Hi! I’m a woman in a movie who has had to fight hard to get to the top of my game and achieve high rank and power, in business and/or politics. Even though I’m old and experienced enough to know better, I just willingly jeopardize all my hard won accomplishments, totally debase myself, and just fall into bed with the absolute worst person possible, resulting in a scandal and disgrace that could’ve been so easily avoided by using the both my common sense and critical thinking skills—-which I should have if I’ve been able to come so far and be so successful. This can also apply to a man, but the person he falls in bed with has to be way more extremely wrong. Like raping his own underage daughters wrong, not just sleeping with a gigolo who is at least a consenting adult who’s not also your own child.
William Teach 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a car salesperson in a movie/TV show and I'm always out to screw my customer, which would totally get me bad reviews and lose myself and my dealership referrals and repeat business
Anthony Goldstein (female) 3 years ago
Hello, I'm a really ambitious woman. I just found out I am pregnant. This child will ruin my career, as I'm still in college and I would have to drop out, but of course i'm going to continue with it!
CatWoman312 3 years ago
Can we please limit posts to like 50? Honestly after 30 I’ve gotten the point. It just gets redundant.
selioraxemaia 3 years ago
Hello I'm trying to watch a movie and all of the people around me with apparently no imagination can't enjoy the movie because they are so focused on things that really aren't important.
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