Haha

I do this more often than I would like to admit...

Only time will tell...

Nice

A: "This tastes like synonym!" B: "Are you trying to say 'cinnamon'?" A: "It's another word for the same thing, isn't it?" B: "..."

I hear the AOL voice ring up after she gave birth...You got male!

😄😄

As my drill instructor would say if someone said "I'm sorry" *ahem* "I know you are! I didn't ask for a character reference!"

Oh, yesssssss 🥰🥹👍

The fact that worthless and priceless sound like they should mean the same thing but they're complete opposites.

OK, it's true. Sent from France.

Nerd alert

I don't know if I even carrot all

Yes but capacity should care factor

As true today as when it was written.

Looks like a sign a crocodile would make

*bold italic

Powerful.

AC/DC aren't even electricians! ⚡️

That's because coop-erate is how baby chickens are made.

Instaounce?

As is every "A" in Australia.

👅

Smart

Oof. This one's personal.

He learned it from a booooook

"Windy isn't it" "No it's Thursday" "So am I, let's all go and have a cup of tea" :D

Photosynthetic.

"No one will now"

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

My friend rubbed two quarters against her ear and told me she was listening to 50 cent

No, but we WILL remember you.

"I'm so broke I can't even pay attention."

Scotland

Not UK. Only Eliza Doolittle.

What we have here is a "tines table". ;-)

A notice like this is how I learnt the Danish for skidmarks is literally brake/tyre tracks (bremse spor). LOL

Cooorrect!

Especially on the internet as the person you are trying to correct could very well have English as their third or fourth language, and you only speak one, and badly at that.

I think that door is a lush.

In the US, we still tend to hang on to the "en" on a word, like eaten, gotten, bitten, etc. But I'm noticing more and more people are cutting off the "en". "I was bit by the dog" instead of "I was bitten by the dog" or "He hasn't got it yet" instead of "He hasn't gotten it yet" (and we're seeing "got" used in place of "have", that is, "Does he got it?" instead, of "Does he have it?") What this means is we're pretty much in the middle of a subtle language change and no one seems to realize it. Think about this today, because in 40 or 50 years from now, I doubt anyone will hear the words "bitten, gotten, eaten," etc. It's sort of spooky, like being back in time when people quit saying words like "Zounds!" and "flivver".