Ok that's oddly specific 🤔 😂

This is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....??

Well, what had happen was...

Well there go my chances

Love it. Passive aggressive and you get a nice turtle to color..

Don't forget to branch out!

double it and give it to the next person

*Establishes dominance*

u know those doors where theres one set of doors, walk a few feet, another set of doors? yeah. so um... i pulled the first ones open, walked, and tried to push the doors. it was very embarrasing

Garbage can’t

Just make sure the glasses are plastic and the bottom enclosed so you don't end up with a tub full of sharp glass

Come here snake pizza, get in mah belly!

Instructions unclear. Removed pants, and am now stuck in a bin.

GLORY-ious advice for a HOLE in one

🎶 Don't you go where the huskies go and don't you eat that yellow snow 🎶 Frank Zappa

Some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug.

Oka-ZZZZZZ

there was a chalkboard in your bathroom? I guess that’s one way to combat graffiti

That's exactly how my ex found out why a snapping turtle is called a snapping turtle.

*reconsiders life choices* *starts twerking like never before* "OMG IT WORKS"

They? Who’s they? Now I’m even more afraid

Not a problem for women for once

this would absolutely complete my valentines day

Mom really knows best

Why should I ignore this part? What secrets does it hold?

🐧

EIther avoid Uncle Mike 100/100 or stay with Uncle Mike 100/100

If only it were true... I'd stay at home all day stuffing my face

“Hey y’all, watch this. I’m going to eat cereal”

Totally doesn't sound dangerous

Is it "for f**k sake," "for f**k's sake," or "for f***s' sake"? It's for a work email, so it should be correct.

she should have signed it "Layla the Great"

A lot of people don't realise if you click on the dinosaur, you get to play a little offline dino-game. :)

GPS is my God and I'll stupidly follow it to the pit

That's strange advice 🤔

Yes, that is a fart squirrel. It's a beautiful being, isn't it?

**facepalm**

*sits on crocodile* Who's gonne stop me?

Then i’ll sit on the alligator i guess

🎶dumb ways to die🎶

Standing is still okay I guess.