Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
It’s always a sad endeavor when someone kicks the bucket, but, looking at these funny last words, it might not be so sad if you’re the one keeling over. With all seriousness, though, it seems that some people do not cease being in good spirits even when they come to the point of cessation, so much so that their last words make it to the pages of history. From incredibly funny remarks to talks about farts, these famous last words will absolutely make your day. That is, if you scroll down below and read our collection!
So, what are the key topics of these last words of famous people, you might wonder? And you wouldn’t believe just how many of them talked about food before they took their last breath! Who thought that food was so important to humans? Certainly not us (lies, all lies - we’re sharing a hearty meal of bamboo shoots writing this). Another emerging topic among these memorable last words is “sticking it” to the proverbial boss. Be it your public enemies, your spouse, or all of the naysayers, it seems that at the time of croaking, you’re absolutely eligible to show them all their place. But hey, that’s exactly what makes these famous words as famous as they are - being truthful and the factor of complete unexpectedness.
Right-o, ready to take a look at the final words of these famous people? From Oscar Wilde to Humphrey Bogart, you’ll meet writers, actors, musicians, politicians, and other well-known names on this list and will get a chance to know their actual final thoughts. So, scroll down below, rank the submissions to your liking, and share this article with your friends!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
"I'm studying to be a pilot in school and my professor told us that if he was ever crashing and he knew he couldn't recover and would die, he'd say over the radios "Look at the size of those tentacles!" And the FAA and NTSB would be so confused."
RELATED:
#2
"Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!" - Groucho Marx
#3
"I'm pretty sure my grandfather's dying words were the funniest I've heard. He said 'Nä, nu skiter jag i det här', which roughly translates to 'Eh, I can't be bothered anymore.'"
#4
"My grandfather slipped into a coma before he passed, the last thing he said before he fell asleep and didn't wake was "Tell Laura (his wife) don't put me up top, I always get dizzy" he smiled a little. he was giving us instructions in what crypt to get him in the mausoleum our family gets entombed in. My grandfather was the ultimate dad joke guy, and I've always been glad he went out with a joke, I'm sure he was proud. My grandma wasn't there at the time, but we told her after he passed and even while crying she couldn't help but laugh, I knew then he did it for her."
#5
"Henrik Ibsen's made me laugh. Nurse: "Well you seem to being doing better today." Ibsen: "On the contrary." He then died."
#6
"When my grandfather knew he was dying he wanted his last words to be "Beam me up Scotty!" as he was a big 'Star Trek' fan. What he actually got out was "Man George bush is an a***ole." But we used the former in his eulogy."
Michael Smith 1 year ago
Bush actually admitted in a speech last year that the invasion of Iraq was “unjustified and brutal", corrected himself to say "Ukraine", then added "Iraq too".
JackOfSpades 1 year ago
Holy cow... if your grandfather felt that strongly, maybe you shoulda stuck with what he did say, instead of what you all wanted him to say. I would have shaken that man's hand with pride.
#7
"Why do you weep? Did you think I was immortal?" - Louis XIV
#8
"Fun Fact but famous author Roald Dahl almost final words were, "I'm not frightened. It's just that I will miss you all so much" to his family. After falling unconscious the nurse than injected him with morphine to ease his passing and he said his actual words: "Oh, F***"- Only real way to leave."
#9
“This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either it goes or I do.” - Oscar Wilde
#10
"I'm kind of partial to actual last words in history. I read one once where a commander was standing too close to a battle and someone advised him to back away, the commander said: "They couldn't hit an elephant from this distance." Then he got shot."
#11
"I have offended God and mankind because my work didn't reach the quality it should have." - Leonardo da Vinci
#12
“Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French fries.’” - James French
#13
“I love my family. Potato, potato, potato.” - Robert Charles Towery
#14
“I desire to go to Hell and not to Heaven. In the former I shall enjoy the company of popes, kings and princes, while in the latter are only beggars, monks and apostles.” - Niccolo Machiavelli
#15
"'This water isn't deep enough for sharks.' Someone said before being eaten by a crocodile."
#17
"'I left $50,000 in the...' - dies."
#18
“Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something important.” — Pancho Villa
#19
“Oh, you young people act like old men. You have no fun.” - Josephine Baker
#20
"Supposedly this is a true story. Unfortunately I have forgotten most of the details but I think it is close enough. There were two comedians who were life-long rivals. Each one was always trying to top the other. One of them was on his death bed and his rival was in the room. He beckoned his rival over to his bedside, reached out to him and said with his last breath: 'Tag... you're it!'"
Dean Bernales 1 year ago
Richard Mellon and his brother Andrew played tag for over 70 years and those were his final words.
#23
"Given the choice of dying or listening to you one more minute I'd rather."
#24
"I'd like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my a**." - Johnny Frank Garrett
#25
“Thank god. I’m tired of being the funniest person in the room.” - Del Close
#26
“I’m going to the bathroom to read.” - Elvis Presley
#27
"Go to my computer and delete my browser history..."
#28
"Turn up the lights. I don't want to go home in the dark." - O. Henry
#29
"You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper." - Robert Alton Harris
#30
"As the priest performs the last rites and says: 'Do you reject satan and his ways?' Respond with: 'It's too late in life to make enemies.'"
#32
"Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel." - George Appel
#33
“Damn it! Don’t you dare ask God to help me!” - Joan Crawford
#34
“One last drink please.” - Jack Daniels
#35
“Oh god, I’ve been murdered.” - Spencer Perceval
Robert Trebor 1 year ago
He was British Prime Minister at the time, the only one to be assassinated in office.
#36
"'Tell the governor that he has lost my vote.' Some guy that was sentenced to death."
#37
"I've had a hell of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it." - Errol Flynn
#38
"You win again, gravity."
#39
"I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis." - Humphrey Bogart
#40
"Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking toward me, without hurrying." - Jean Cocteau
Rwby Couch 1 year ago
But he starts sprinting towards you, then it's like a race, you against Death, but Death always wins. He must be fast.
#41
"I knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room - and God damn it - died in a hotel room." - Eugene O'Neill
#42
"I love you all and if I'm lying may God strike me down."
#43
“Turn me over — I’m done on this side.” — Lawrence of Rome
#44
"With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg."
#45
“I did not get my Spaghetti-O’s; I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.” - Thomas J. Grasso
UltimateSwiftie 1 year ago
he was executed for the murders of two 87-year-olds though. let that be known.
#46
“I’ve had 18 straight whiskeys… I think that’s the record.” - Dylan Thomas
#48
"I know you are here to kill me. Shoot, coward, you are only going to kill a man." - Che Guevara
#49
“I’d like to thank the Academy for my lifetime achievement award that I will eventually get.” - Donald O’Connor
#52
"I have something to say, but not at this time." - Grover Cleveland Redding
#53
"I'm going out like I came in; naked, covered in blood, and crying."
Scrolling Panda 1 year ago
Ah, early 2000's dark humor, we meet again. For anyone who doesn't get this one, it comes from a comedic threat about not being afraid of going out the way you came into the world.
#54
“I am sorry to bother you chaps. I don’t know how you get along so fast with the traffic on the roads these days.” - Ian Fleming
Debby Keir 1 year ago
His comment was to the ambulance drivers taking him to hospital after another heart attack, age 56, on his son's 12th birthday.
#55
"That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted." - Lou Costello
JackOfSpades 1 year ago
"Who made this ice cream soda?" "Hu, made it." "I'm asking YOU who made it?" "HU, made it!" "I swear to God... WHO made it?!" "HU, MADE IT"!!!
#56
"Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." - George Sanders
#57
“I’m looking for loopholes.” - W.C. Fields
Rwby Couch 1 year ago
No loopholes in death, unless you knock him out and stuff him under your bed, but still
#58
“I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.” - Richard Feynman
#59
“I wonder why he shot me.”- Huey Long
#60
"I'd rather be fishing" - Jimmy Glass
#61
“And now for a final word from our sponsor.” - Charles Gussman
#62
"I did not know that we had ever quarreled." - Henry David Thoreau
#63
"Yes, I would just like to say I'm sailing with the Rock, and I'll be back, like Independence Day with Jesus. June 6, like the movie. Big mother ship and all, I'll be back, I'll be back." - Aileen Wuornos
#64
"That was a great game of golf, fellers." - Bing Crosby
Kersten Polena 1 year ago
He died after playing golf at a golf course in Spain. I think it was Spain. But that was it collapsed after walking off the course at the end of the game.
#65
"Hold my beer."
#66
"I buried all my life savings at the..."
#68
“Remember, Honey, don’t forget what I told you. Put in my coffin a deck of cards, a mashie niblick, and a pretty blonde.” - Chico Marx
#70
“Now why did I do that?” — Sir William Erskine
#71
"10/10 would live again."
#72
“Good. A woman who can fart is not dead.” - Marie Thérèse Louise de Savoie-Carignan
#73
“This is no time to be making new enemies.” - Voltaire
I'm.Just.A.Girl 1 year ago
Isn't this the second half of the previous post?? Pretty sure someone confirmed it was Voltaire
#74
“Am I dying, or is this my birthday?” - Lady Nancy Astor
#75
"I am about to - or I am going to - die; either expression is correct." - Dominique Bouhours
#76
"I'm going to just pretend I died like 6 times before I actually do."
#77
“What the devil do you mean to sing to me, priest? You are out of tune.” - Jean-Philippe Rameau
#78
"I am not the least afraid to die." - Charles Darwin
Terra Raizor 1 year ago
Not afraid of death, just disappointed in not doing everything I wanted to do.
#82
"I am curious to see what happens in the next world to one who dies unshriven." - Pietro Perugino
Glenna Hawkins 1 year ago
his name sounds like peter petigrew if you know this name you know so no questions
#83
"Holding your loved ones hand: "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you earlier, just head to random coordinates." Have generations of people searching for nothing."
#84
"'I'll be back' in Arnold voice would be terrible candidate."
#85
“What do you think I am going to do blow my brains out?” - Terry Kath
#86
“This is no way to live.” - Groucho Marx
#87
"It's beautiful, it's perfect, oh wow... just kidding."
Janet Howe 1 year ago
I would love to disprove that others are calling you to "go towards the light."
#88
“All right, then, I’ll say it: Dante makes me sick.” - Lope de Vega
#89
"This is the last of Earth! I am content." - John Quincy Adams
Janet Howe 1 year ago
If you think you've done right by the world, those are great last words.
#91
"Who farted?"
#93
"Check out my Soundcloud."
#95
"Remember to drink your Ovaltine."
#96
"Warden, murder me. I'm ready to roll. Time to get this party started." - James Lewis Jackson
kelly walker 1 year ago
As long as we're on the subject of murderers confronting capital punishment, may as well include Carl Penzram's "Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard! I could have hanged twenty men while you've been prattling on!"
#97
“Oh Lord, forgive the misprints!” - Andrew Bradford
Janet Howe 1 year ago
It makes me angry when newspapers misspell names in the obituary. Your obituary is the last thing you have when you leave this earth. And some basta*d screws it up.
#98
"My only regret is that I have boneitis."
Jennifer Hay 1 year ago
My Dad died on Thanksgiving night after dinner (it wasn't the turkey) and my Mom always maintained his last words were "Dreama don't let the pies burn." He was a foodie.
What do you think ?
Deborah Harris2 1 year ago
Reminds me of one of our sadly deceased British comedians Spike Milligan , his actual epitaph on his Grave says ' Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite', it's Irish for 'I told you I was ill!' :D
Ian The Person 6 months ago
I want my final words to be, “Y’know, after all this time……… Ebony is still a-“
Deborah Harris2 1 year ago
Reminds me of one of our sadly deceased British comedians Spike Milligan , his actual epitaph on his Grave says ' Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite', it's Irish for 'I told you I was ill!' :D
Ian The Person 6 months ago
I want my final words to be, “Y’know, after all this time……… Ebony is still a-“
You May Like 50 Funny Final Words People Would Say If They Had The Choice, As Shared In This Online Thread “Die In A Minute”: 40 Times Autocorrect Made A Mess From A Normal Text 50 Times Google Street View Caught Pure Comedy Gold In Real Life
Žydrūnė Trukanavičiūtė
Ilona Baliūnaitė
Mariia Tkachenko
Related on Bored Panda
