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Of all the funny things kids say, their silly questions usually just take the cake. What should you do with a question like ‘Why do spiders run away when I fart?’ if not laugh at it? Admittedly, though, not all of the funny kids’ questions are hilarious in a ha-ha way, but rather baffling and confusing, evoking the only natural response to such nonsense - laughter. Still entertaining, but in a perplexing sort of way. And if your own kid’s funny questions aren’t enough for you or if you want to feel seen as being not the only one with a kid who has the most original ideas, this article is exactly right for you. Yup, this is our collection of the funny questions kids ask - do with it as you wish, but we can promise there will be laughter if you decide to read it!

You know what makes these questions truly hilarious? The fact that kids have no filter - they just go and ask about whatever pops into their minds. Add in the factor of childish naivete, and voila, you have a whole list of funny things kids say. And it seems that these funny kids never disappoint - from needing to know if rainbows are the food of plants to holding a firm belief that eyes don’t exist because you can’t see them, each question is funnier than the last!

So, the funny kids’ questions are just a bit further down, just where they are supposed to be. Once you are there, give your vote for the silly questions that tickled your funny bone and share this article with anyone who you think will find it relatable! 

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

"Why does Santa give poor children such c***py presents? They should get the best ones."

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#2

"My little brother was in kindergarten and he'd never seen his teacher outside of school before. We bumped into her in the grocery store one evening and he yelled to me, 'Who let her out?'"

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#3

“Why are you buying beer, Dad? Do you know how much candy we could get with that money?”

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#4

"My 8 year old cousin said to me, 'Since there are microscopic germs inside us, what if we are just some microscopic germs inside an even larger animal?' I was high at the time so it totally tripped me out."

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#5

"My 5 year old after I explained the concept of breastfeeding: 'Can you squeeze 'Capri Suns'outta those things or just milk?'"

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#6

"I was watching fireworks with my son sitting next to me. He calmly said, 'The sound is slower than the lights.'"

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#7

"My daughter asked me whether I realized that showers were just human sized sinks and this is why I don’t bother wasting my time talking to grownups."

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#8

"We were all in the car together and little brother (maybe 7 years old) pipes up with, 'How do we know we aren't just characters in a book someone is reading?'"

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#9

"Not so much a question, but the other day when we were in the car my 2 year old said, 'Guys, here's the deal: I need a penguin for a magic trick.'"

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Jan Olsen
Jan Olsen
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And if you believe that, I have an Eiffel tower for sale.....

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#10

"My 3 year old was walking out the front door without telling anyone. I saw him and asked where he thought he was going. He said: 'I'm just going outside to look at the world,' and kept on going."

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#11

"My 5 year old once told me, 'Where are you going with your life, daddy?' It hit me so hard I almost cried."

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#12

"My niece asked me: 'When I turn 4, what happens to my 3?'"

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#13

"Shopping at our local supermarket, my 3 year old (at the time) looks around, and suddenly asks, at the only volume he knows: 'Daddy, are these all those stupid people?'"

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#14

"My 3 year old daughter asked my extremely pregnant wife how the baby got the toys into her belly to play with. After explaining that he didn't have any she ask, 'Can I share some of my with him?'"

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#15

“Mom… my belly hurts… am I pregnant?” - asked by 5-year-old boy.

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#16

"My 3 year old son just asked me, 'Can you take me to the Vampire State Building?'"

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Kylie Mountain
Kylie Mountain
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a children's book called The Vampire State Building. The First Son of the United States befriends a bunch of bats, an anteater, and I forget what else, and I think in one chapter they have to get to the top of the Empire State building past a series of progressively larger vampire bats. A supremely weird bit of surrealism.

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#17

“Why can’t I see my eyes?”

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Hatred Pony
Hatred Pony
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My 4 year old son often asks me if his eyes are still there, like he just dropped them somewhere walking around.

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#18

“Why do spiders run away when I fart?”

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#19

“What did it feel like on your last day of being a child?”

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Headless Roach
Headless Roach
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Last day? How old do I have to be to reach that day? I *may* have missed mine 30 years ago.

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#20

"Why do people smoke if they know it will kill them?" - my stepson.

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#21

"My 6 year old daughter asks, 'If we stop thinking about someone, do they stop existing?'"

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#22

"Heard in my house today: 'Dad why do old people always look so creepy? Is it because they are decaying?'"

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Rich Cronshey
Rich Cronshey
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a borderline old person I can answer this in the affirmative

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#23

"A 10 year old once told me, 'I don't think there is a good or a bad. I think it's all perception.'"

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#24

"I once heard a kid ask his mom, 'Where does a circle end?'"

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#25

"Daddy, does 'blue' look the same to everyone else as it does to me, or could my 'blue' be your 'red?'"

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Lauren S
Lauren S
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve wondered this same thing buddy. Best answer is look up that dress. Edit: I mean google the gold vs blue dress. Don’t actually look up girls’ dresses! Yikes! I could have phrased that better huh?

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#26

“What is the name of the space between the bits that stick out on a comb?”

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#27

"My son just asked me how I know his name. I'm not in the mood today."

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Michael Largey
Michael Largey
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Your father told me Ask him." (Good parenting means sharing the load.)

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#28

"What happens if you throw a tomato at the sun?"

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#29

"My little 5 year old brother asked me, 'If the sun is on fire, why is there no smoke?'"

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Hono Klatuu
Hono Klatuu
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just play him "Why does the sun shine?" By They Might be Giants. So catchy and fun plus science.

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#30

"Waiting to pay for groceries. My 5 year old: 'Did the tooth fairy get my balloon from Albertson's?'"

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#31

"My younger sister: 'When I grow up, will I still be Hannah?'"

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#32

"When I was 4 years old, I asked my mom, 'When Daddy was a little boy and you were a little girl, who were my parents?'"

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#33

"Oh my God, why are you so obsessed with clothes?!" - my 6 years old, when I asked him to hurry up and get dressed for school."

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Michael Largey
Michael Largey
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I (now 71) had begun a sentence to my parents with "Oh my God", those would have been the last three words of my life.

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#34

"As we were sitting at our table, I said 'Why are we here, daddy?' 'Well, we're here to have lunch!', he replied. 'No, no. Why are we here on this earth?'"

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#35

"My 5 year old sister once came up to me, and out of the blue asked, 'Is death just sleep? And going to heaven means you're dreaming and going to the underworld means you're having a nightmare?' Never been more stumped in my life."

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Myriah Fields
Myriah Fields
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i once heard that when your body does that fake fall thing before you sleep, it means the angels carrying you to heaven have dropped you

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#36

"My 4 year old son: 'Why do we only live for a short time, but when we die, it's forever?' I did the best I could with that one. Wasn't easy."

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Michael Largey
Michael Largey
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell him that life here on earth contains many eternities - like when that person in line ahead of you insists on trying to pay with exact change.

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#37

This kid was about 6 years old: "If you open a window when it's cold inside and warm outside, does warm air come in or does cold air go out?"

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#38

"Is time real, or just measured on clocks?"

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#39

"My little boy came home from school and said that they had been learning about Jesus and God, I seem to recall it was around Christmas time. I asked him if he believed in God. He replied 'No, I just believe in myself.'"

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Lizard Queen
Lizard Queen
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have nothing against people who believe in gods and goddesses but that is a great attitude!

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#40

"I teach swimming lessons. My favourite question has been: 'When do we learn how to breathe underwater?'"

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DancingPanda
DancingPanda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m a lifeguard, apparently my missed out on receiving my gills, my coworker on the other hand….

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#41

“Why did swear words get invented if we’re not allowed to say them?”

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#42

"Daddy, is everything made of atoms?"
"Yes honey, everything."
"Even dreams and shadows?"
"Bedtime."

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A_scalene_triangle
A_scalene_triangle
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well shadows are just the absence of light (or something like that) and dreams are thoughts so no?

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#43

"If Santa was a pirate, does that mean all the presents he gives are stolen?"

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#44

"What would you do if you were born naked?"

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#45

“How do I know that I’m real and not just a dream of someone else?”

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#46

"My 4 year old once asked, 'Daddy, if we have November, then when is yesvember?'"

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#47

"If God is so great then why won't he let us talk to people in heaven?" - my 5 year old cousin to her very religious mother.

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#48

"When I was a child I went up to my aunt and said, 'How thick are your human eyelids?'"

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#49

“If plants need rain and sun to grow, and rainbows are made of light and water, are rainbows plant food?”

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#50

"My kid asked what day it is so I told him Wednesday and he said, 'I don’t agree with that.'"

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#51

"If you want a front row seat for a temper tantrum, my 3 year old just asked me for warm ice."

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#52

"My 4 year old nephew looked out the window when we were driving cross country: 'That's my world out there, isn't it?'"

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#53

"If God is so big, why can't I see him?"

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#54

5 year old son: "Did Santa Claus live in the time of the dinosaurs?"

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#55

"My 3 year old son asked recently, 'Mom, why did you make me?'"

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Lauren S
Lauren S
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To make the world a more beautiful and loving place. 🥰

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#56

"As I was driving my little cousin to and from school, he peers out the window and says, 'How do we know that the car's moving? How are we not sure that the world just moves around the car?' I promptly pulled over so my head could blow up."

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Marek Čtrnáct
Marek Čtrnáct
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the Galilean relativity: no absolute notion of either rest or motion.

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#57

"Is Daddy having a baby too?"

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#58

"On this day July 23, 2018, at approximately 6:45 am, my 4 year old bulldozed onto my bed until our foreheads touched and she asked, 'Are you excited for Christmas?!'”

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#59

"My 3 year old asked me if she could shave the window and it took me a couple minutes to figure out that she wanted to use squeegee."

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#60

“How did people make the first tools, if they didn’t have any tools?”

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#61

Out loud and in public: "What's wrong with your face?"

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#62

"After hearing, "That's what she said" from people over and over again my 9 year old niece asked, "Who is this girl everyone keeps talking about, and what did she say?" It was adorable."

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#63

"Did you know god can't even kill ghosts? What's up with that?"

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#64

"My 4 year old brother: 'Do people die like flowers do?'"

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#65

“Where do thoughts come from?”

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Headless Roach
Headless Roach
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some say that if you hold farts for too long, they will turn into stupid ideas.

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#66

"I know who God is, but who's 'God dammit?'"

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#67

"Why don’t they make vegetables tasty?"

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#68

"What are those? Is this the morning when we wake up? What's a planet?" - asked all at once then he ran off and pretended to be a super hero.

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#69

"Britney Spears's music video 'I'm not a girl not yet a woman' was on and my 4 year old little sister is singing along, then suddenly stops and asks me, 'Well what is she then a boy?'"

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Michael Largey
Michael Largey
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone who is no longer a girl, but not yet a woman, is a teenager - a temporary but entirely separate species.

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#70

"When God was little, was the world small?"

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Martin König
Martin König
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like if they did not say it in the Bible. Very small. Just a piece of Africa.

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#71

"My 6 year old cousin asked me, 'What life was like in the olden days?' I'm 24."

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DancingPanda
DancingPanda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bro, I’m 16 and kids (mainly my brothers and kids I babysit) don’t believe me when I say I’m older than the iPhone

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#72

"Driving by a cemetery, my 4 year old son saw a couple of people with watering cans. He asked, 'Dad, will your family grow back if you water them?'"

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Robert Trebor
Robert Trebor
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Quick glance: I saw "a penguin with a watering can" Don't know where I left my brain.

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#73

"3 year old daughter asks, 'Why do you go to work if work makes you sad?' I answered, 'For you.'"

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Nenya
Nenya
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So… You told the child that because of her, you have to go to work, which makes you sad? As in kind of her fault?

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#74

"Why is the sun following me?"

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#75

"Do women get their periods on weekends too?"

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#76

3 year old: "Do you know what pregnant means?"
Me: "What?"
3 year old: "It means you can't bend over."

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#77

"My son just asked me when I was little if I had to stay inside for Covid."

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#78

"My nephew asked my grandma if she was a slave. I left the room."

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#79

“Why do I have two eyes if I only see one thing?”

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#80

“Why do we have to be born young and grow old, why can’t we be born old and get young?”

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#81

Son: "Daddy, what is the first day?"
Me:" Sunday or Monday, depending on the calendar."
Son: "No daddy, what is the first day?"
Me: "Ever? Oh. oh."

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Nenya
Nenya
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Must have been a Monday and I’m still waiting for the weekend..

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#82

"What shape is your soul?"

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Karen Johnson
Karen Johnson
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was little, I visited a hospital with my parents, where they had a huge mural of a caduceus on the wall. Knowing that the hospital is where some people die, and that the soul leaves the body upon death, I thought the caduceus was a drawing of a soul! Even decades later, when I see one, I still think that.

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#83

"My son asked me if the letter 'W' starts with 'D' and I can’t stop thinking about it."

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Paddling Panda
Paddling Panda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ay, Bee, See, Dee, Eee, Eff, Jee, Aitch, Eye, Jay, Kay, Ellen, Em, En, OH, Pee, Kue, Are, Ess, Tee You, Vee, Double-You, Ex, Why, and Zee/Zed.

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#84

"Is cereal a soup?"

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#85

"Since your eyes are blue, does that mean you see everything in blue?"

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Livingroom Panda
Livingroom Panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

unless the upvote button is an obscure shade of brown, sorry kiddo. that is not how it works.

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#86

While cookies are baking, “Are the cookies loading?"

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#87

"My son once asked me, 'What does purple do?'
I have yet to come up with a reasonable answer."

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#88

"Dad, why don't fish get water in their eyes?"

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#89

"While driving to the store, my daughter asked if we were inside the car's stomach. What a terrifying way to see the world."

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#90

"6 am question from my 4 year old, 'Mommy how deep is your brain?'"

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Michael Largey
Michael Largey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some brains are so deep that they're bottomless. Anything you put in them will fall right out.

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#91

"Hey mom, what's the difference between a landline and a real phone?"

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#92

"Do you think mermaid's fingers prune from being in the water for so long?"

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#93

“Did ants invent the world’s first social network?”

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#94

"Do boats ever have wheels?"

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#95

"Can you buy me a girlfriend for Christmas? Everyone else has one and I feel left out..." - my 9 year old cousin.

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#96

"Do you have any ninja stars, or metal, or anything else you think would be appropriate for me to throw at my brother?"

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#97

"My 6 year old sister once said, 'Wouldn't it be cool if we had invisible eyes and we could see all the invisible things?' I just thought how scary that would actually be."

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#98

"When my son was 4 years old, he asked me, 'What number is right before infinity?'"

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#99

"Why do some people make rubbish packed lunches? Why don’t they make them like you, mummy?"

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#100

"Kids are great if you like being asked at 6 am why doesn't Moana get sand on her feet when she walks on the seafloor after the ocean splits."

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#101

To a person with medical tape over their eye, “Are you a pirate?”

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#102

"Who's the boss, Jesus or Santa?"

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#103

"I live in Florida where in the summer it will sometimes rain while still being sunny outside. My son was 3 years old at the time and asked, 'Daddy, why is the sun crying?'"

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#104

"My 5 year old just asked me a couple of days ago: 'Dad, why am I me? Why am I who I am?' Then he comically slapped his hands up on either side of his head."

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#105

"My little cousin asked me, 'If we were in real life or if we were some kind of TV show?'"

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#106

"I was lecturing my then 4 year old daughter for some transgression (don't remember now what it was) when she looked at me thoughtfully and said, 'You don't know what I'm thinking in my head, do you?' It was a little creepy."

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#107

"My cousin asked me, 'When the music plays, does the rhythm flow through our ears, and into our brains, and then do our brains have special parts that choose if we like the music or not?'"

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Rich Cronshey
Rich Cronshey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

accurate though. Who is it that likes what we like? When I like something it's more like I discovered than did anything.

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#108

"How do birds whistle if they don't have lips?"

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#109

"Not especially deep, but my 3 year old used to ask, 'What does my nose smell like?', when she caught a whiff of something. Interesting perspective."

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#110

"Why do I have to eat broccoli when Daddy doesn’t eat his?"

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#111

"My son just asked me why spiders don't get stuck in their own webs, and now I'm questioning everything."

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Marek Čtrnáct
Marek Čtrnáct
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Spiderwebs are sticky because spiders attach droplets of glue to them. The webbing itself is not sticky. Spiders don't get stuck because they know where the sticky parts are -- they are the ones who put them there!

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#112

"My son just asked why the 'Death Star' wasn’t called a 'Shooting star' and I honestly couldn’t answer him."

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#113

"My 3 year old just asked what kind of stuffed animal I am, and now I'm questioning everything."

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#114

“In the olden days, was everything black and white?”

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#115

"Daddy? How is space made?"

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#116

"Why can't I see myself? How do I know if I am real or not if I can't see myself?"

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Michael Largey
Michael Largey
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's just a mirror, young Dracula. No use getting your blood stirred up like that. Don't be a pain in the neck.

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#117

5 year old son: "Dad, what are rats made of? Meat?"

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Arliss Speace
Arliss Speace
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Charlie didn't get too much USO. He was dug in too deep or moving too fast. His idea of great R.and R. was cold rice and a little rat meat..." Captain Willard ..

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#118

"How will we know when it's the future?"

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Michael Largey
Michael Largey
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know the future has arrived the moment you have to say "It's too late to ..."

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#119

"Does real freedom exist or is it just an illusion?"

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Robert Trebor
Robert Trebor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it didn't exist people wouldn't try so hard to take it away from others.

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#120

"My 3 year old niece once asked me why people fall out of love."

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#121

"My 5 year old neighbor was recently at my house and posed this question: 'What do teenagers really think about?'"

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#122

"Why humans don’t have tails?"

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Michael Largey
Michael Largey
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some of us do - the FBI, the CIA, the NSA, the local vice squad (in my case), ...

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#123

"My 3 year old daughter asked me if I could grow sausages in the veggie garden."

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#124

"But why can’t we have lollipops/chocolate/beer for breakfast?"

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#125

"My kid asked why 'I'm up for it' and 'I'm down for it' have the same meaning and my attempt at an answer frustrated both of us."

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#126

"4 year old daughter just asked how mermaids go potty. I'm stumped as well. Any ideas?"

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Jocie (she/they)
Jocie (she/they)
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THIS WHOLE POST IS GIVING ME SO MANY EXISTENTIAL CRISES SFGIHFDJKFGFRGLBTNRTUHHSDGHTFERGTHY&U/IK:BGFV

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#127

"Why doesn’t the sky fall on us?"

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#128

"My 5 year old niece fell asleep on my stomach while lying on the floor, when I woke her up she asked, 'I think I come out of your belly. Are you my mommy?'"

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#129

"Is it adults that like Justin Bieber? Because none of my friends like him." - 14 year old.

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Michael Largey
Michael Largey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I hear that name, I always think of "and Jerry Mathers as The Beaver." Would a name like "Beaver Cleaver" ever be allowed on network TV today?

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#130

"If you were somebody else, would I still be me?"

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Michael Largey
Michael Largey
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You might as well be yourself. Everyone else is taken." - Oscar Wilde (supposedly)

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#131

"What part of us thinks?" - 5 year old girl.

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#132

"My nephew asked me the other day if I play with my own poop. Am I missing something?"

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#133

"My 5 year old son asked me earlier today if animals have belly buttons, and if not, then why... I will have to look into that one for him. What a great question!"

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#134

"Why do you need money to buy things?"

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#135

"My 3 year old asked me if quesadillas grow on trees and I was just like, 'Not yet, girl, but dream big. Dream big.'"

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#136

"Can I drive the car?"

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#137

"Why is it windy in the tree?"

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#138

"My daughter asked me if cheese is a vegetable, so...yeah, she's an optimist."

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#139

“Why don’t crabs have eyebrows?”

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#140

"What language do they speak in England?", asked by a 14 year old boy in Kansas after I told him I was from England.

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#141

"Is that lady fat or does she have a baby in her tummy?", said very loudly next to the woman in question. She was most definitely not pregnant.

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#142

"Is God a person or a robot?"

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#143

"My sister was on the bus with my mom next to a man with dreadlocks when she asked loud, 'Mommy, is that a stranger?'"

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#144

"If we get rid of the cat can we get a dog?"

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#145

"At the age of three, I asked my mom, 'How much does our house weigh?'"

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#146

"Just today my 3 year old niece asked me, 'What does .com mean?'"

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#147

"Where does the sun go when it is dark?"

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#148

"Why do sheep and cows sleep standing up?"

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#149

"How does Santa get in when there’s no chimney?"

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#150

"Mummy, is there really a man in the moon?"

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James016
James016
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There was but now it’s just Moonbaby. According to my son.

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#151

"Are there more trees than buildings?"

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#152

“What is faster? Fire or dust?”

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#153

"Checking out one day at a store, my 4 year old daughter looks at the cashier and (rather loudly) asks me, 'Dad, is that a man or a woman?'"

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#154

"My 7 year old son" 'Dad, when is the world going to end?'"

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#155

"I was taking a walk with my 5 year old nephew when he asked me, 'How can we see the moon if it's not in Earth?'"

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#156

"Why did we used to be monkeys and why aren’t we still monkeys?"

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#157

"Why does God let people die?"

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#158

"If you go to heaven when you die, how come skellingtons live in graveyards?"

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#159

"Did you swallow the baby?"

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#160

"Can my doll eat your finger?"

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#161

"My younger sister once asked my mother: 'What color is God?'"

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#162

"Does God sleep?"

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Michael Largey
Michael Largey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With some of the things attributed to Him, the question is "How could He?"

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#163

“Why do I’ve to eat three times a day?”

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#164

"How come your eyes are round?"

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#165

"Does God have a wand?"

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