According to John Kenny, a relationship empowerment coach, host of The Relationship Guy podcast, and author of The P.E.O.P.L.E. Programme: How to Overcome Your Blocks to Success, there are several reasons why our partners would try and embarrass us, either when we spend time alone or are in the company of others.

"Firstly, we need to consider if they are actually trying to embarrass us, or if they are just innocently joking and we are taking what they do or say personally, leading to embarrassment," he told Bored Panda. So if they create discomfort on purpose, these behaviors are usually about putting themselves in a position of control, power, or whatever it is they are trying to meet, the relationship coach explained. If this seems to be the case, our partners may lack tolerance for things that don't fit into their "window of comfort", so they may "seek to make you feel bad because they are unhappy. Redress the balance as it were," Kenny added.

If spouses embrace negative behaviors in public as well, Kenny argued they may wish to appear to be a certain way in front of others. Unfortunately, that can also mean they want you to be seen as incapable, stupid, or simply beneath them. Then, partners may start to pick on things that they know will unsettle you. "They may want others to agree with them in order to validate themselves. What better way than to try and make someone else appear lesser than them?" Moreover, Kenny added to be mindful of gaslighting type behaviors here too, which are cruel and often hidden emotional manipulations in toxic relationships. "[They could try] to get you to back off from a topic or make you feel that your opinion, behavior is questionable," he added.

But as you’re scrolling through this list, you’ll notice that the actions of our loved ones can cause us secondhand embarrassment. After all, serious relationships sometimes make us see our partners as a part of us. When they do something positive and worthy of applause, we feel a boost of self-esteem too. So naturally, when they do something we see as embarrassing, we quickly feel our cheeks turning bright red.

According to the relationship coach, we feel ashamed of someone's actions when their behaviors are embarrassing and unacceptable to us. "You may not necessarily agree with, support, or condone their actions, but to feel embarrassed comes entirely from within you." Kenny stated that we can feel thrust into the spotlight when our partner’s behavior is inappropriate and especially if we can tell this from the reaction of those around us.

"For example, if your partner flirts with someone else in front of you and your friends, everyone will probably see this as unacceptable behavior and it will be an embarrassing situation for you, even though it is them that are behaving inappropriately," he explained.

Well, it looks like the possibilities for spouses to embarrass one another are virtually endless. While on certain occasions we might laugh it off, constant feelings of embarrassment can lead to restless arguments and even more serious problems in the relationship. But Kenny argued that it does not always have to be the case. He explained that these behaviors would only carry on as normal when we fail to address the issue and give our permission for them to continue.

We have to communicate with our partners about problems that bother us to create an even stronger and more resilient partnership. However, they might not always agree with our observations. "This can lead to heated arguments if this is the dynamic of the relationship," Kenny noted. "Heated arguments can also ensue if things are allowed to build up, as it isn't just about the one incident and emotions have built up inside, only addressed when ready to burst. It can point to bigger issues within the relationship — lack of openness, codependency, poor communication, power imbalances, and so on."

Of course, there are always ways to become better at handling these situations and prevent them from spiraling into long-lasting disputes. "Firstly, when we are embarrassed, we need to check in with ourselves: 'Do I need to feel this way about this situation?' If I do, then there is clearly something I am uncomfortable with or unhappy about and it needs to be addressed. Don't let it go, don't allow your negative emotions about this type of reaction to grow so that you suffer it or explode when you have had enough."

Instead, he advised saying something like, "I don't think/feel that it is appropriate/acceptable to …". Then, explain to your loved one how you would like them to act in the future and have a discussion about behaviors that you would be more comfortable with.

"This is a 'pink flag' type of issue and will become a red flag if you address it and their actions do not change. If you find that you are easily embarrassed by things, then you may be struggling from self-worth issues and your sense of self is easily undermined," he added. "Shame could be an underlying emotion you have never dealt with and so you can embarrass more commonly than others you know," Kenny concluded by saying this could lead to you taking on too much responsibility on others' behalf and could have a toll on your emotional wellbeing.