There are a lot of things that shape our way of life. On that list, family members arguably matter the most. But it’s not only about the parents; siblings are equally as important, and even the line of succession can be of influence. Firstborns and the third child, for instance, often live through completely different experiences, despite growing up in the same family.
Being the firstborn usually comes with quite a few responsibilities. They often act as the parents’ right hand with, well, nearly everything, in a way becoming the backbone of the family. This can be attested to by numerous firstborn children out there, and their Tweets prove it better than anything else. It’s time to hear the voices of the eldest daughters, and today, that’s exactly what we’re doing. We’ve found their Twitter posts that best describe all that being the oldest child and a daughter entails. Scroll down to find them and familiarize yourself with what it means to be the flag-bearer for your siblings.
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Having siblings can be a blessing and a curse at once. At times, there is no one more annoying than your little sister whining about some toy she didn’t get, or your brother being a typical stubborn toddler throwing vegetables at the kitchen wall. On the other hand, no one is as good of an accomplice for mischievous endeavors or providing a shoulder to cry on when you need one.
Oftentimes, no other person in the world can get you quite like your sibling does. Not only have you spent so much time together that you can finish each other's sentences, you also have gone through the same happenings in the household, both the good and the bad.
This...... hits hard. WHO'S BEEN SPYING ON MY LIFE????????? HOW DID YOU GET A DESCRIPTION OF ME???
Definitely. Also one of my siblings is a year younger than me so they won’t listen to anything I say. ALSO my parents are so much more lenient with my younger siblings but sooo strict with me!!! 😭😭
That is why unconditional love bonds most siblings; but one of them stands out as being particularly protective. And that’s the eldest one. They often help parents watch over the baby basically from the moment the younger sibling is born, which is how they become a safeguarding figure in the little bundle’s life.
Unsurprisingly, later in life, moms and dads are fast to jump on the train of using them as a nanny service, no matter how frustrating it might get at times. “Want to go meet your friends in the mall? Take your sister with you”, “Are you going to spend time outside? You are only allowed to if your brother is going, too”; anyone with a younger sibling knows the drill.
Actually, each oldest daughter would want to do things her way. 😁 (I know, I'm the eldest!)
However, even before the arrival of the addition to the family, firstborns have to deal with a certain set of challenges. In an article for Psychology Today, parenting expert and child and family therapist Meri Wallace, LCSW, pointed out that they often have to meet the high expectations of their parents.
As it is their first child, they’re learning the ins and outs of parenting as they go—often by trial and error—and might subconsciously put too much pressure on the kid. In a way, they want their kid to succeed, as that would ensure they're doing a good job of raising them.
Why is this so true. Especially if my mother is away then I’m stuck to do whatever’s there
Before the birth of their siblings, firstborn children are given parents’ undivided attention, which can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, the kid is surrounded by love and support in every possible way as moms and dads want nothing but the best for their little bundle of joy. On the other hand, such wishes might push them to enroll kids in one too many activities, make one too many comments about reaching for the stars, or encourage overachieving tendencies in some other way.
Family and marriage counselor Sarah A. Smelser, LPC, expanded on the way being a first-time parent affects their—at that moment—only child. In an article for Comprehensive MedPsych Systems, she suggested that because of the way mothers and fathers interact with their firstborn, the latter is often more goal-oriented, outspoken, stubborn, independent, and perfectionistic.
Parenting expert Ms. Wallace pointed out that the firstborn also has to deal with the sudden change of household dynamics when their baby brother or sister is born. That in no way means that parents love them any less; however, it often leads to a decreased amount of attention and one-on-one time. And that, as with any other major change in a kid's life, requires adjusting to.
Meri Wallace also emphasized that parents tend to seek help from their oldest offspring, no matter how big or small they are at that point. That might be the reason behind a strong sense of responsibility; however, it can also lead to them being rather controlling of their younger siblings.
If I'm the youngest child but the only girl, am I included? Asking for a friend
Im just happy my mum helps more as she knows what it’s like she the eldest daughter as well. So are all my friends but we all are also the second child all have older brothers, so if we were royal w would all be in the secret society for second born royals, if you get the movie reference
In addition to all that they do for their brothers and sisters, the eldest ones are often the reason parents let some things slide easier for the younger ones. For example, the firstborn’s wish to go to a music festival might be met with a definite no; but when the middle child asks the same question some years down the line, it is likely to become a more debatable matter or maybe even a “yes”.
When you’re a first-time parent, everything seems scary and dangerous. And it takes one person to go through life and turn out fine, so the succeeding ones can enjoy a little bit more freedom.
I don't have time for feelings, I'm responsible for making sure everyone else is okay first. There is no time for me, and yes I am a first born and a daughter who held her mother's hand for three months while she lay dying while my younger sister who only live 60 miles away and could certainly afford it, only came once. But I ruined the funeral for her because my family and I were on the front row and her family was in the 2nd row. That is just how it worked out, not planned. Because of that, she has not spoken to me in 10 years. Okay, I'm finished venting. Thank you for the opportunity.
Even though they can be irritating at times, siblings are usually the ride or die kind of partners. Having them not only makes life more entertaining (there’s always someone to play games or take part in activities with), but helps to get through difficult times as well (they are there for you no matter what). Reader’s Digest pointed out that having a sibling can even improve your health and mental well-being.
According to Reader’s Digest, siblings can make you more charitable and empathetic. Research has found that having one can also increase your chances of a happy marriage and lead to a healthier lifestyle. When it comes to the eldest siblings, their younger hell-raisers can even make them slimmer.
And it seems that quite a few people benefit from one of these positive influences, as according to US Census Bureau’s 2022 data, roughly 80% of children have one or more siblings.
Story as old as time... I will now appreciate my oldest daughter, who is also the oldest child; as a single mom i did depend on her so much!
Yeah except I can’t fix the problems so I kind of just paint them over or hide them under my bed where they whisper to me at night
These pictures cover what it's like to be not only the eldest kid in the family, but also a sister, who should be cherished at all costs. According to Reader’s Digest, sisters can prevent their siblings from experiencing strong negative emotions such as feeling guilty, unloved, lonely, self-conscious, and fearful, and that’s the kind of support we all need in life.
Okay now 364 more takes to go... than we can start the next year of takes and repeat until we go off to college
As difficult as it often is, being an older sister—as well as having one—is rewarding in so many ways. If you feel like browsing more sister-related content all of a sudden, make sure to check out these sister quotes to express their love for each other or these adorable illustrations by a Korean artist depicting her memories of growing up with a sister.
Being the eldest daughter in a military home guarantees it. I don't care that my brother was born 5 years later. I was still the oldest son.
Yeah if I cook it has to cater for my brother as well and seeing as he’s got so many allergies, it’s a great feeling when I make something he can’t eat
“A son’s a son ‘till he takes a wife. But a daughters a daughter for the rest of your life.” A proverb that must have been written by eldest daughter.
I feel sorry for my eldest child - eldest daughter whose mother was an eldest daughter and grandmothers were eldest daughters, as was at least one GGM.
Yeah, my mother used to use my youngest sister as a way to get back at our cheating father. Even literally told me she sees no reason my sister's happiness should be more important than hers. As the oldest I tried my best to protect my little sis. Tried so hard to get in between and get the emotional trauma instead. Didn't always work anyway.
Many of these tweets are basically talking about parentification. Which is a sign of terrible parenting. Good parents don't make their child responsible for their other children.
Honestly, I'm the oldest of three daughters and wouldn't expect how much I relate to these. I love my sisters, we have a great relationship, my parents never showed favoritism. But still - I am the one who's expected to care for others, to make sure things are done and people are heard. It hit me like a cannon this list.
me too. i have a younger brother and a younger sister. i sat in the middle seat of anything so they wouldn't fight with each other. i always got the yellow cup because they wanted red and blue. i was the one who never asked for anything, because i saw the pain it caused my mum when my siblings asked for things we couldn't afford. I'm still the one who gets the calls when someone is having a breakdown. meanwhile, i'm the only one in our family who has ever actually been in a mental hospital. LMAO how TF does that work.
Load More Replies...I am the youngest and 13 and the only girl. This makes for a weird family dynamic. I am the eldest daughter so I am the glue, the fixer, the worker, the organizer, but I am also the youngest so my older brothers feel like they need to "protect" me while simultaneously relying on me for everything.
If your old people have enough bias you can be the eldest while also being the one who needs to be protected :3
Load More Replies...I'm supposed to do EVERYTHING but I'm the oldest. That's my moms reasoning. If one of my siblings clean a room and it's terrible, oh it's fine hehe haha. But if I have the AUDACITY to forget one tiny thing on the floor, I'm screamed at.
For all you still young or young-ish eldest daughters. Wait until your parents need caretaking. Guess who gets that job too.
Yes. I'm dreading the day. They're in their late 70s now. I'm already tech support and travel agent and online representative, lol.
Load More Replies...Being the eldest daughter generally sucks. My sister always complains that I get to do everything before her and I was like “yeah that’s the problem”. I have to go first with everything - homework, puberty, just growing up in general - sometimes I feel like the test run. Also, yes I think I may be the living embodiment of Luisa from encanto
I will carry my trauma to my grave. I surf my pain like a wave. I have forgiven, though I haven’t healed. I have accepted, though it still hurts. No one’s fault; no one knows. I steer clear to cope. I embrace myself in the dark, until I’m recharged. I come back out and take it all over again. No one will understand.
(Almost) every one of these is so true. This thread has given me new insight into why I am the way I am. My only sibling, my sister 18 months younger, was difficult as a child. Me, in first grade, getting called to the kindergarten class to calm down my sister. The rest of my childhood and young adulthood, "can you try to talk some sense into your sister? ".
My sister was the eldest daughter. But we were over a decade apart in age and my parents never made her take care of me in any long term way since she moved out when I was 6. Even so. She's tried to 'be my mom' and control every aspect of my life and me as a person and now I have Trauma as an adult. :) kudos to oldest sisters (except mine)
Or...! Ooor...! When your eldest granddaughter is a carbon copy of your daughter and you think to yourself: „That’s what you call karma baby girl!“ ******laughs uncontrollably in Grandad******!
I see your oldest daughter, and raise you the oldest daughter of immigrants
This is true for my Mum, but definitely not for my older sister; almost the opposite.
I didn't realize eldest daughter syndrome was a real thing!!! I feel so much better about things.
I'm an only child, was the first grandchild for both sides of the family, and am now the oldest of us all because every one in the previous generations has passed on. But nobody bothers because they're all in the old country and we emigrated so I'm the breadth of a large country and an ocean away from them all. I don't get much respect. 🤷
Many of these tweets are basically talking about parentification. Which is a sign of terrible parenting. Good parents don't make their child responsible for their other children.
Honestly, I'm the oldest of three daughters and wouldn't expect how much I relate to these. I love my sisters, we have a great relationship, my parents never showed favoritism. But still - I am the one who's expected to care for others, to make sure things are done and people are heard. It hit me like a cannon this list.
me too. i have a younger brother and a younger sister. i sat in the middle seat of anything so they wouldn't fight with each other. i always got the yellow cup because they wanted red and blue. i was the one who never asked for anything, because i saw the pain it caused my mum when my siblings asked for things we couldn't afford. I'm still the one who gets the calls when someone is having a breakdown. meanwhile, i'm the only one in our family who has ever actually been in a mental hospital. LMAO how TF does that work.
Load More Replies...I am the youngest and 13 and the only girl. This makes for a weird family dynamic. I am the eldest daughter so I am the glue, the fixer, the worker, the organizer, but I am also the youngest so my older brothers feel like they need to "protect" me while simultaneously relying on me for everything.
If your old people have enough bias you can be the eldest while also being the one who needs to be protected :3
Load More Replies...I'm supposed to do EVERYTHING but I'm the oldest. That's my moms reasoning. If one of my siblings clean a room and it's terrible, oh it's fine hehe haha. But if I have the AUDACITY to forget one tiny thing on the floor, I'm screamed at.
For all you still young or young-ish eldest daughters. Wait until your parents need caretaking. Guess who gets that job too.
Yes. I'm dreading the day. They're in their late 70s now. I'm already tech support and travel agent and online representative, lol.
Load More Replies...Being the eldest daughter generally sucks. My sister always complains that I get to do everything before her and I was like “yeah that’s the problem”. I have to go first with everything - homework, puberty, just growing up in general - sometimes I feel like the test run. Also, yes I think I may be the living embodiment of Luisa from encanto
I will carry my trauma to my grave. I surf my pain like a wave. I have forgiven, though I haven’t healed. I have accepted, though it still hurts. No one’s fault; no one knows. I steer clear to cope. I embrace myself in the dark, until I’m recharged. I come back out and take it all over again. No one will understand.
(Almost) every one of these is so true. This thread has given me new insight into why I am the way I am. My only sibling, my sister 18 months younger, was difficult as a child. Me, in first grade, getting called to the kindergarten class to calm down my sister. The rest of my childhood and young adulthood, "can you try to talk some sense into your sister? ".
My sister was the eldest daughter. But we were over a decade apart in age and my parents never made her take care of me in any long term way since she moved out when I was 6. Even so. She's tried to 'be my mom' and control every aspect of my life and me as a person and now I have Trauma as an adult. :) kudos to oldest sisters (except mine)
Or...! Ooor...! When your eldest granddaughter is a carbon copy of your daughter and you think to yourself: „That’s what you call karma baby girl!“ ******laughs uncontrollably in Grandad******!
I see your oldest daughter, and raise you the oldest daughter of immigrants
This is true for my Mum, but definitely not for my older sister; almost the opposite.
I didn't realize eldest daughter syndrome was a real thing!!! I feel so much better about things.
I'm an only child, was the first grandchild for both sides of the family, and am now the oldest of us all because every one in the previous generations has passed on. But nobody bothers because they're all in the old country and we emigrated so I'm the breadth of a large country and an ocean away from them all. I don't get much respect. 🤷