ADVERTISEMENT

The dads of Twitter have some of the funniest stories and belly-aching jokes to share with us from their everyday family lives. So we here at Bored Panda thought it’d be the perfect way to brighten up your day. You’re bound to relate to a lot of these parenting posts if you’re raising any munchkins of your own at home. Don’t worry, you’re not alone!

Psst, after you’re done scrolling through this list and upvoting your fave dad tweets, check out our earlier posts about hilarious fatherhood tweets right here.

Bored Panda wanted to learn more about being a dad and the challenges that it presents, so we reached out to the Fatherhood Institute, the UK's fatherhood think-and-do-tank and one of the most respected fatherhood organizations on Earth. Dr. Jeremy Davies told us that what children need more than anything is your time. "And time can be hard to find, if you’re focused on earning money—which is part of what you need to do as a parent, but only part of it. So finding time when you’re out at work is the biggest challenge," he said. Read on for the rest of Dr. Davies' insights.

RELATED:

    According to Dr. Davies from the Fatherhood Institute, the trick for new dads is to find ways of organizing their lives so they get to do "a good chunk of the hands-on caring" early on. "If that’s tough because of the job you do, maybe there are ways you can tweak your working week to free up more time? If not, and that feels like a problem, maybe you need to think about a different career?" the expert mused.

    He advised new dads to get "stuck in" and help out with the childcare. "Don’t hang back like she’s the boss," he said. "Men are biologically primed to look after children, just like women are, and practice makes perfect. If mum seems better at this stuff, it’s almost certainly because she does more of it. The more you do the better you get."

    ADVERTISEMENT

    So if you want to get better at changing nappies, bathing your child, putting them to bed, singing to them, and reading bedtime stories, you have to carve out the time to do so. There are no shortcuts. "That’s how you’ll build the bond with your baby, and from that you’ll build a wonderful, lifelong relationship with him/her."

    #5

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    HenpeckedHal Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Wendillon
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How dare you make the bath too wet? How is the poor kid supposed to enjoy it?

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #6

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    HenpeckedHal Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Ruth Mayfly
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope, parents can install themselves as voices in your head so you have to listen to them FOREVER. Checkmate, toddler.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu

    Fatherhood is absolutely a blessing. But there’s no easy way to say this—your life will change. For the better, of course. But there will be plenty of new challenges. Financial, for starters. However, something as simple as getting enough sleep or alone time with your partner might just quickly become your number one priority. That’s why you’ve got to learn to use every moment that your children are asleep or out of the house. Life doesn’t have to stop when you’re a dad; but you’ll have to adapt.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Even though we like to think of our dads as superheroes who can do anything, they’re as human as anyone else. And fatherhood isn’t done in isolation: you have to know how to work as a team.

    Coming up with a system where dads share the responsibilities of caring for their kids with their partners by taking turns means everyone can get some much-deserved rest. And once you've made childcare a part of your daily routine, it's way easier on you because it's now a habit.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Dads also have to learn to reach out and ask for help when they’re struggling. Ask your family members, your grandparents, your friends, and coworkers to babysit once in a while so you can recharge if you have to.

    Parenting’s a marathon, not a sprint. And, even though we might feel alone and utterly knackered sometimes, it really does take a whole village to raise a child, so we need to learn to be humble and ask for support.

    Once you’re recharged and amped up about parenting after some R&R, you can go back to being the best dad that you can be. Playing with Legos? Check. Reading bedtime stories that you’re enjoying as much (if not more) than your kid? Check. Monkeying about on the monkey bars in the playground? Check. Fighting the monster hiding under your kid’s bed? Check!

    #10

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    ullr52 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Foxxy (The Original)
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha, love the dad joke but that aside, burial pods sound like a great idea.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #11

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    mcnees Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Some Cool Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hitch hikers guide to the galaxy taught me that space is big. Like really really big.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #13

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    mrdanwalker Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Potato patato
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But the thing with that is that people who hate kids, and wouldn't help teach at all would decide to be a teacher to get that big pay check.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #19

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    HenpeckedHal Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Foxxy (The Original)
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a video of my daughter going through my underwear drawer and putting on about 20 or so pairs all over herself including around her neck like a necklace and on her head lol.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #20

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    bhgreeley Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Brett
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It says a real one like dad pranked them and got them a fake one last time

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #25

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    DadandBuried Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Aleksandra Elias
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought the second part starts when you can leave your children alone at home without worrying about them dying

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #29

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    RodLacroix Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Katherine Boag
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Eh sometimes it isnt so much growing up as developing undiagnosed mental illnesses, ask me how i know

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    Continue reading with Bored Panda Premium
    Unlimited content
    Ad-free browsing
    Dark mode
    #31

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    JoshRadnor Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #33

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Calum Sanderson
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well just get into the time machine in every classroom and make it the old days

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #35

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    NewDadNotes Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Something
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It really is terrible of today's children not to automatically know everything about technology that they have never used or even seen.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #39

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    courosa Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    あんぱんまん
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but wouldnt it be easy... i would just play mind tricks on them and then let them do wht they want... ill make sure they will think alot abt what i say before they do anything dumb! hahahhaaa.... then again, i have other plans for life xD

    #40

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    Tired_Dad_of_2 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Katherine Boag
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What age is this most effective on? I dont remember my parents doing this with us

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #44

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    thedadvocate01 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Katherine Boag
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, you *can* do whatever you want once you're an adult, but you also get to deal with the consequences.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #46

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    NewDadNotes Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #49

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    R_A_Dadass Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Colin Allcars
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oompa Loompa do-be-de-do, you should listen to what your dad tells you.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #50

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Julius Martin
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this happened to me when my cousins came over two weeks ago, but it was in german

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #51

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #54

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    R_A_Dadass Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Ty Stratton-Quirk
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me: says nothing while playing back recording of conversation from twenty minutes ago.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #55

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    dadmann_walking Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Steven Essex
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The phrase, "Be good to your kids; they choose your nursing home." comes to mind.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #58

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    thedadvocate01 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Luisa Vasconcelos
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me to my kids, after they hide their backpack as a prank. Guess who started with pranks first.?

    View More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #61

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    fowlerism Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Tabitha L
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not sure why dad was confused. Ghosts of my feet = shadows. Obvi.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #65

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    simoncholland Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #69

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #73

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    Average_Dad1 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #74

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    HomeWithPeanut Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Blinding_Darkness
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Child: *hugs parent*. Parent: what have you broken, what have you lost, what do you want me to do, and no, we can't have chocolate cake for lunch.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #76

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #78

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    thedadvocate01 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why I see solo parents in pajamas and robe at ASDA at 2am. Stealth shopping

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #84

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Marcellus the Third
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In 2020 the kid is right. "Not true! It's... May? August? April? ... I'm sure..."

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #85

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    #86

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    lukeplusone Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Blinding_Darkness
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe she was saying 'whine whine whine', because that's what she was doing? Idk anymore

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #88

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #90

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    GrantTanaka Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #91

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    HomeWithPeanut Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Blinding_Darkness
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's a cockapoo. I'm twelve, but I have a sister. Who likes paw patrol. And making my life a misery. She's cute tho, I'll give her that.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #93

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    dad_on_my_feet Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #94

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    TwinzerDad Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #96

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    nyquills Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Chris
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son starting crying yesterday when I said, for the eleventy hundredth time, "hi hungry, I'm daddy".

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #97

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    threetimedaddy Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #98

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    daddydoubts Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #99

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    byclintedwards Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #101

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    thedadvocate01 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even works when the "child" is furry. My dog trapped my brother in his seat in a hire van. However well I wrapped her in her blanket, she still managed to have the release right up her bum when it came time to leave the vehicle

    #102

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    DataArchDad Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Kip Otter
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was how my brother and I were! One time I duct taped pillows to my younger brother and then punched his stomach (lightly as I was weak) Then he got to do it to me!

    #103

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    CrockettForReal Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Luisa Vasconcelos
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think I should do this to stop both of them from coming to my bed in the middle of the night.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #105

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    HomeWithPeanut Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #107

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    bvorwerk Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #110

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    Tired_Dad_of_2 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Luisa Vasconcelos
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's ready for life. She not gonna have problems finding excuses for work or not meeting friends.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #111

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    hermanntrude Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #112

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    RodLacroix Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Something
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A degree in history can lead to a really great career as a history professor.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #113

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    SladeWentworth Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #116

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    RodLacroix Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Pansexual-Pancake
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can drive better than that with a dually truck in a forest and I'm eleven(just don't rely on soft stops :))

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #118

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Bardhi's Dad
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's good to start with testing as early as possible. Later you may go out of control

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #123

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    threetimedaddy Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aged 5 I could pick up my 10 stone mum. By 7 I could swing her round.

    #124

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Parents used to take us to Stonehenge, Old Sarum (iron age? fort) and similar places. They could set up a picnic in the middle and let us run round and round , hoping we would get tired. No picnicking on the stones now, or parking inside the fort. They only had to watch us if one or more of us stopped making noise

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #125

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    stevehowey Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Ruth Mayfly
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sod that. I have no kids precicely because I know it's really hard.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #126

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But why always 3 times in a row and into the sink (over the clean washing up)?

    #129

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    simoncholland Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Blinding_Darkness
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I got told that my pictures were good when I was little. While they were being put in the recycling bin. Hey, at least my parents recycle. They're good tho, not mean.

    #130

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    dad_on_my_feet Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As long as she hasn't mastered the art of delayed procrastination you have nothing to fear.

    #132

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    thedadvocate01 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Foxxy (The Original)
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wish that was the case for my kids, well my son now as my daughter has calmed down a bit since becoming a teen. My son is on the go from as soon as he wakes up until he zonks out at bed, doesn’t matter what he eats. Even his therapists and my mum have mentioned that he just does not stop. I wish I had some of his energy.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #133

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    truegritrumble Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #134

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    simoncholland Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #135

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    thedadvocate01 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #136

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    daddydoubts Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #137

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    FunnyBison Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #138

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    Chhapiness Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #139

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    louisvirtel Report

    #141

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    HomeWithPeanut Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #142

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    aotakeo Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We had imaginary pets. I even took mine to school so I didn't have to play with the other kids. Did get myself a pet rock that has been a faithful door stop for 35 years.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #144

    Funny-Dad-Tweets-Jokes

    TomFletcher Report

    Add photo comments
    POST