I worked for this hotel chain! Had them all at one point as every hotel had a different one :)

Nope it doesn't. It doesn't even have the same mouth feel.

But we all know the glass bottles are best!

I should not have read that with a mouthful of coffee

i think an award ceremony for the best toasts of the year we can call it the toasties the award will be a golden toaster with toast sticking out the top

Or these days, a smart car.

Math vandals

I would just mumble "you're welcome" if that was me.

They knew what you were doing!

You might want to move to another country. Just to be sure.

I need mine to be light in colour and have thin rims and thicker bottom.

My favorite is "Food weapons" for knife and fork.

I've bin there

I have toasties quite often, The machine is ridiculously easy to use, and ridiculously easy to clean. Unlike most of my small appliances.

They will find out soon enough.

No sense of humour these bankers.

I can do this without leaving the house

You taught me, Kenny!

Worse grammar I ever sawed Kenny

The best part about driving a fire apparatus, there certain times that I got to say to entitled individuals, "Yes, that is where I parked, and no I am not moving it so you can get by."

Must've been a blast being Kenny's student.

I don't get it

"Been busy" ?

No sugar OR MILK, M**********R!!!

Finishing the speech with "Thank you, and till the next time." won't help either...

we have its called a bacon sandwich

It is not a tree, it is a tr

Yeah, nah...school sucked.

Sharing is caring.

Even though "anywhere here" is about 10 miles away from your actual destination!

Order failed successfully.

😂😂

You're including the Irish, Scot's, and Welsh? I 100% think you're right. We did start as a land for Puritans.

Our house was newly built when we moved in and it was two years before any delivery places acknowledged we existed and would accept our order!

I still eat them once a day, one a day then or one pack a day now, just a matter of semantics…

Yes. My cat.

That's ruff.

Being overly literal (meaning: this is a joke), I have to point out it depends on where your flight's heading. ;) If you're flying in to a major hub like Paris or Munich, you might be connecting to go somewhere else. But it you're on a Ryan Air heading for Malaga, then fair to laugh at your mum. :)

Thst is the way, isn't it? 😂

We didn't have real ladders when I was growing up. I was brought up by my step-ladder.

But it is though - signed, a Tesco club card holder

I have 4 pairs. My feet swell and recede like the tide. Crocs are the answer. Shies make my feet unhappy, and I want happy feet.

Are you joking? The gherkin is the best bit!

Sometimes I hang a measuring tape around my neck and have a pencil behind my ear. That way they will know I was BUSY. My sewing machine broke around four months ago...

And why when it's the other way around they don't appear awkward at all

...and the one down the road from me is chav Tesco. People turn up in their dressing gown

Now you have it within a single day

And that's exactly why more and more companies are ending free returns.

Or, the flight leaves at 0700 and free breakfast is from 700-830

You're OK so long as you acknowledge it. I always say morning/afternoon handsome maggers.

Some people just don't pay the last month before moving because they know they're not getting the deposit back no matter how pristine the apartment is. Not saying you should do that but also not saying you shouldn't.

It's when people refer to you as "the old man" that it gets really depressing!

"Fukking problem sorted innit. Was I the best or what, ya muppet"