Canada may be known as one of the best countries to live in, but when it comes to their neighbors south of the border, they're pretty much as savage as the funny roast Blake Lively's delivered to Ryan Reynolds on his birthday. What the Canadian culture lacks in legal firearms and super-sized fast food, they make up for in sass and maple syrup. Now, although the best country in the World has never been one to brag about their universal health care, stable economy, and near-spotless diplomatic relations, there comes a time every so often that the boot comes down - and we don't mean 'out and a-boot.' Here at Bored Panda, we've rounded up the top moments from Canada vs. USA quarrel while the rest of the globe was left literally yelling. Canada's immigration site may crash again by the end of this post, so get started on your application beforehand.
Now scroll down below to check the politest Canadian memes and best roasts in the Canada vs. America dispute!
This post may include affiliate links.
I am from the US and I so agree with the Canadian in this situation. Also, a moose if more likely to gore you than gore your enemies.
Actually has a good point there. The U.S. has so many enemies because we think we have the right to police every other country.
A good follow up would be underlining how said american army is used to stir up said s**t.
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Eat that Uncle f*****g Sam! *Middle Fingers In The Air*
Well, you’re certainly neither Canadian nor British.
Load More Replies...Canada’s population is 10% of Uncle Sam’s. However, when it comes to war, Canada hits way above its weight. For example, at the invasion of Normandy on D Day, the Americans had 2 of the beaches as responsibilities, Omaha and Utah. The Canadians had one, Juneau Beach.
Cocky Canadians kicking the U.S when we're down really is destroying your reputation for being polite--which is high on the modest list of Canadian assets. We know Trump and Putin stole the election, and we know the right wing and GOP are shot to Hell because they voted for him and still allow him to run his ignorant mouth and try to destroy us. The recent election lost the GOP 17 seats to Democrats, and Special Investigator Bob Mueller is closing in on the traitor trump. Canucks who assume America has slipped below them in stature better realize that we will be back stronger than ever when we show the world our system deals with ratfucks like trump in a Democratic, but severe manner. Remember, your dollar is worth only 79 cents against ours, and your nation doesn't make cars or have any major international industries. Your military is tiny, and your musicians, actors and comedians run South the moment they gather enough loonies to afford the bus ticket. Back off, eh?
Haha. Canadians pay 75$ a month for health care. Which isn’t bad, but it’s not free. Cheap health care is all we have. Housing is sky high. Food is sky high. It’s nearly impossible to live here. People go to America just to go shopping lol. And u guys just show all the dumb asses of Canada. No wonder why americans hate us lol.
75$ a month? are you crazy? The half of my pays goes in taxes. and from this half, half goes in heathcare... so basically 1/4 of my pays goes in healtcare system, wich is horrible by the way... wait 23 hours in emergency for seen a doctor? and we don't talk a 15% taxe on everything we bought
Load More Replies...Except your comedians......Except they have to become famous in the USA to "stir things up"...LOL
Just because someone doesn’t want violence doesn’t mean that they’re wimps. maybe they’re just logical.
Load More Replies...And we thank you for your speedy "saving" during both of those wars... Date Canada entered WWI - 4th of August, 1914 Date USA entered WWI - 6th of April, 1917 Date Canada entered WWII - 10th of September, 1939 Date USA entered WWII - 7th of December, 1941
Load More Replies...for what its worth, the reason that lawsuit happened is because McD's was found negligent for superheating coffee in order to hold it longer. They handed someone a cup of near boiling coffee and she was burned badly in her *lap* area. It wasn't simply a case of duh coffee is hot. The story has been co opted by corporate interests to try to steer the blame from negligent practice to make it seem like it was frivolous; it wasn't.
Seriously, I don't get why OTHER PEOPLE getting married really matters to them. Oh, we've got a religion where priests and preachers often abuse kids? Oh, that doesn't matter - the two guys across the street are getting married and God hates that! Pick your battles.
This is honestly vaguely disturbing. What kind of person thinks: Look, a robot! Let's go break it into pieces! And people wonder why others think Americans are violent.
Still having problems with just the man and woman thing......or anything!
American money being all the same colour DOES screw me up. It's not that I CAN'T read them, it's that it's way easier to pay for something quickly when you DON'T HAVE TO. Also, this is another thing where the U.S. is the odd one out, since most of the money I've ever seen from other countries is also in different coloured bills.
I think saying "Bill Nye the Science Guy" would be even more effective.
The good thing is that you can save 175$ by a DIY achievable by an kid and still look "elegant". The teachers should repalce the traditionnal "mother's day noodles necklace" by a "mother's day paperclips necklace"!
The American government is too busy trying to get people like Bill, who teach real things, out of school in favour of the Bible that most of them don't even read so they don't know how awful and b******t it is.
Most Americans can't conceive of laughing at themselves. They're so earnest that cracking a smile about some silliness makes them think they're about to explode or something. Canadians know better.
I think because it's pounded into our heads from such a young age the whole greatest country in the world nonsense. That good old 'Murrican pride gets bruised pretty easily.
Load More Replies...No need. You South Canadians so the best you can with limited resources.
Load More Replies...I'm American and this is the funniest thing I've read in a long time
I'm not butthurt about it. I think it's funny. Not all Americans are the same ya know. 😂😂😂😂
Seth Rogan, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, Mike Myers, Ryan Reynolds, Russel Peters, John Candy, Leslie Neilson, Catherine O'Hara, Tommy Chong, Samantha Bee, Michael Cera, Will Arnett, Lorne Michaels and the Kids In The Hall weren't able to convince you, but these tweets did?
Load More Replies...I'm American and I thought those were freaking hysterical. That 'Cotton-Eyed Joe" one damn near gave me a hernia from laughing so hard.
Don't look now Canada, but all this bragging and eye poking makes you sound very... American.
"Extremely rare cases of racism" I'm sure the first nations and Inuit agree with this.
As an American I found this offensively hilarious. I laughed out loud in the doctors waiting room I got a few funny looks. But it’s okay I am paying a small fortune here because out health care isn’t free, so I will laugh as loud as I want.
Canada, you forgot Neil Young in the list of "awesome" things you have. THIS is unforgivable.
YOu know what canada, we gave up defending ourselves about November 8th 2016. Now we just apologize.
Shame about all the first nations people living without water and electric though....
american broadcast on marine channel, I am an American war ship, veer to the right, Canadian reply, no you veer to the right, American reply, I am the biggest naval vessel in the U.S. , I repeat, move to the right. Canadian reply this is the Canadian lighthouse, your move.
Very funny, and I think very true. It makes me think of the way France considers Belgium. I am Belgian, and have often felt the French to be loud and arrogant, and thinking they have invented all the best things in the world - while we Belgians go along quietly and excel in achieving great things without drawing attention to ourselves. We also have a great sense of humour, and are very good at making fun of ourselves!
It honestly took me a few readthroughs of #25 to get it, and that's one of my guilty pleasure songs lol
I love Canada and I love the US. When I was growing up going to Canada was like going to another state. There were no border issues and we all got along. The same with Mexico. When did that change?
I can smile and laugh at most of these, but the Cuba one confuses me. Just because it lacks Americans doesn't mean it's a good place..
Yeah, make fun, and yes, they are funny, but every Canadian I know, and there are quite a few, would rather live here than Canada. go figure!
I'm not butthurt about it. I think it's funny. Not all Americans are the same. 😂😂😂
Embarrassed to be an American...but still love my country. I know...a damn mess of a contradiction, right?
Cannot remember too many Americans I've met and not liked...had an American girl friend along time ago...she was very sweet.
Load More Replies...Ummm... #19 - for the record, Wolverine is a Canadian Comic Book character, played by an Aussie actor. Does that really count as a Canadian celebrity? Yes, I'm American. Don't judge me! I was just born here. I wanted to be born in Middle Earth!
Yay Maple Syrup, Neil Young, Gordon Lightfoot, Bob & Doug McKenzie!!!!!
if z is pronounced zed why isnt it zedebra or zedipper... its zee cuz thats thats how the letter is pronounced in words
#19 - Wolverine is a Canadian celebrity? If you're talking about Hugh Jackman, he was born in Sydney Australia. If you mean Jeffrey James "Wolverine" Lippold or Brian "Wolverine" Dawkins, they're both from the USA.
they mean wolverine, the comic book character played by hugh jackman, who is canonically canadian.
Load More Replies...Sorry, guys, but when it comes to gratuitous Yank bashing, I lost my sense of humor a long time ago. I'm all out of patience with people who seem to think we're all ignorant yahoos who watch Fox News and drive gigantic gas-guzzling pickup trucks festooned with Confederate flags and Trump stickers.
As if we Americans don't have it bad enough with that (bleep) idiot the other 48% voted for. Let's just add salt to the wound. Thanks, all.
But some of those aren't even good burns. If your GDP is that small, at least be funny.
Some of those weren't even good. If your GDP is that small, at least be funny.
Wow, always had a soft spot for Canada. Not so much anymore. These "roasts" weren't funny. Stay where you are and do some growing up, eh?
Anna Paquin is from New Zealand, not Canada. I can understand the confusion though, they have free healthcare, legal marriage for all and aren't run by an oompa loompa.
She has dual citizenship but she was born in Winnipeg Manitoba Canada.
Load More Replies...Most Americans can't conceive of laughing at themselves. They're so earnest that cracking a smile about some silliness makes them think they're about to explode or something. Canadians know better.
I think because it's pounded into our heads from such a young age the whole greatest country in the world nonsense. That good old 'Murrican pride gets bruised pretty easily.
Load More Replies...No need. You South Canadians so the best you can with limited resources.
Load More Replies...I'm American and this is the funniest thing I've read in a long time
I'm not butthurt about it. I think it's funny. Not all Americans are the same ya know. 😂😂😂😂
Seth Rogan, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, Mike Myers, Ryan Reynolds, Russel Peters, John Candy, Leslie Neilson, Catherine O'Hara, Tommy Chong, Samantha Bee, Michael Cera, Will Arnett, Lorne Michaels and the Kids In The Hall weren't able to convince you, but these tweets did?
Load More Replies...I'm American and I thought those were freaking hysterical. That 'Cotton-Eyed Joe" one damn near gave me a hernia from laughing so hard.
Don't look now Canada, but all this bragging and eye poking makes you sound very... American.
"Extremely rare cases of racism" I'm sure the first nations and Inuit agree with this.
As an American I found this offensively hilarious. I laughed out loud in the doctors waiting room I got a few funny looks. But it’s okay I am paying a small fortune here because out health care isn’t free, so I will laugh as loud as I want.
Canada, you forgot Neil Young in the list of "awesome" things you have. THIS is unforgivable.
YOu know what canada, we gave up defending ourselves about November 8th 2016. Now we just apologize.
Shame about all the first nations people living without water and electric though....
american broadcast on marine channel, I am an American war ship, veer to the right, Canadian reply, no you veer to the right, American reply, I am the biggest naval vessel in the U.S. , I repeat, move to the right. Canadian reply this is the Canadian lighthouse, your move.
Very funny, and I think very true. It makes me think of the way France considers Belgium. I am Belgian, and have often felt the French to be loud and arrogant, and thinking they have invented all the best things in the world - while we Belgians go along quietly and excel in achieving great things without drawing attention to ourselves. We also have a great sense of humour, and are very good at making fun of ourselves!
It honestly took me a few readthroughs of #25 to get it, and that's one of my guilty pleasure songs lol
I love Canada and I love the US. When I was growing up going to Canada was like going to another state. There were no border issues and we all got along. The same with Mexico. When did that change?
I can smile and laugh at most of these, but the Cuba one confuses me. Just because it lacks Americans doesn't mean it's a good place..
Yeah, make fun, and yes, they are funny, but every Canadian I know, and there are quite a few, would rather live here than Canada. go figure!
I'm not butthurt about it. I think it's funny. Not all Americans are the same. 😂😂😂
Embarrassed to be an American...but still love my country. I know...a damn mess of a contradiction, right?
Cannot remember too many Americans I've met and not liked...had an American girl friend along time ago...she was very sweet.
Load More Replies...Ummm... #19 - for the record, Wolverine is a Canadian Comic Book character, played by an Aussie actor. Does that really count as a Canadian celebrity? Yes, I'm American. Don't judge me! I was just born here. I wanted to be born in Middle Earth!
Yay Maple Syrup, Neil Young, Gordon Lightfoot, Bob & Doug McKenzie!!!!!
if z is pronounced zed why isnt it zedebra or zedipper... its zee cuz thats thats how the letter is pronounced in words
#19 - Wolverine is a Canadian celebrity? If you're talking about Hugh Jackman, he was born in Sydney Australia. If you mean Jeffrey James "Wolverine" Lippold or Brian "Wolverine" Dawkins, they're both from the USA.
they mean wolverine, the comic book character played by hugh jackman, who is canonically canadian.
Load More Replies...Sorry, guys, but when it comes to gratuitous Yank bashing, I lost my sense of humor a long time ago. I'm all out of patience with people who seem to think we're all ignorant yahoos who watch Fox News and drive gigantic gas-guzzling pickup trucks festooned with Confederate flags and Trump stickers.
As if we Americans don't have it bad enough with that (bleep) idiot the other 48% voted for. Let's just add salt to the wound. Thanks, all.
But some of those aren't even good burns. If your GDP is that small, at least be funny.
Some of those weren't even good. If your GDP is that small, at least be funny.
Wow, always had a soft spot for Canada. Not so much anymore. These "roasts" weren't funny. Stay where you are and do some growing up, eh?
Anna Paquin is from New Zealand, not Canada. I can understand the confusion though, they have free healthcare, legal marriage for all and aren't run by an oompa loompa.
She has dual citizenship but she was born in Winnipeg Manitoba Canada.
Load More Replies...