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As you probably know, unless you live under a rock, Twitter and its newfound CEO, Elon Musk, have been the talk of the town over the past few weeks. Since Elon Musk’s takeover, we have seen everything from high-profile departures to a massive layoff. Last but not least, a whole new verification system that seems to have backfired like lighting a matchstick at a gas station. In a job market more and more made of flexible schedules, work-life balance, and remote working, Elon Musk hit his now ex-employees in the face with a big “nope.”

Countless Twitter memes later, the world is now split into those who believe Twitter’s era is over and those who think the company will be able to make it through this rough patch. We’re no visionaries here, so we’ll refrain from making predictions. But one thing is certain: Tweeters have delivered high-quality comedy over the years, and funny tweets are all we’re here for today.

If you’re looking for a good laugh, this is our “best of Twitter,” a place to come back to over and over again, in loving memory of what Twitter was in case everything goes down the drain. Here we’ve rounded up what we’re positive are some of the funniest tweets of all time — the ones that make us laugh every time we read them!

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    #3

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    Diamond_Jax Report

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    Patrick John Haskins
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm pretty sure that the coffee myth has been debunked. In 2015/2016, my wife's OB said it was okay to drink caffeine, but maybe not in excess. Alcohol and cigarettes are still a no-go.

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    #4

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    silence__kit Report

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why does the alphabet have an order any way? The abc's is not a word, there is not a correct way to spell it.

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    #11

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    alextumay Report

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    K W
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love French Bulldogs. Unfortunately they're $4500. I can literally buy a Tiger for $1000 (USD). Blows my mind that a dog costs 4.5 tigers.

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    #13

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    Kyle1092 Report

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jerome K Jerome, Three men in a boat, reads the medical dictionary once and sees he has every ailment except Housemaid's Knee.

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    #18

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    ahahamina Report

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    Headless Roach
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine referring to a USB dongle by 'dingle' in a business presentation. Do I take the podium today, even though I stopped before 'berry'?

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    #23

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    laurajlovette Report

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    Some black giirrrrllll
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meanwhile in a parallel universe: Can you imagine how awkward it would be if you went on your pet's phone and found the 1000s of pictures they have of you sleeping.

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    #29

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    bugposting Report

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    Autistic apricot
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why put it there if you don’t want people to tick it? I hardly think a baby’s going to fill in the list

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    #32

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    OctopusCaveman Report

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    Some black giirrrrllll
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The turkey's vlog: so guys, **gobble gobble, don't forget to like and subscribe.

    Sylvia Dunaway
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now I want to find out...thank you sooooo much random 5 year old child

    Marek Čtrnáct
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Something in Andy Riley's "Great Lies to Tell Small Children" was like this.

    K W
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The questions never come when you expect them lol. Like that time my kid asked where humans came from and I was trying to explain something about matrilineal stuff and he thought I said mammoths so he thought humans came from girl mammoths. Anyway turkey life questions definitely stumping but trying to distil human evolution into something simple enough for a 4 year old to understand with zero prep was pretty impossible.

    Bryn
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    strange, I've seen the same thing about ham... from a child...

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I watched it, I might feel guilty and never eat turkey again.

    David A Paterson
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The correct answer is "no, that only works for trees", because you can read a tree's whole life from a slice.

    Mary Smith
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds interesting, but I hope the movie would have subtitles. Because I don't speak TURKish *obnoxious laughter* *knee slap*

    R Dennis
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back in the day, I had a flatscreen tv (early days) with a built-in DVD player. One day, it just stopped working. A couple years later, I was moving it and a Canadian townie fell out. Apparently my child put it in there thjnkingbit was a dvd...

    Resheph Bloodthorne
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can imagine the only problem with the movie would be all the words are "gobble gobble" and none of the closed captions are in English, just French and Italian.

    Giobemo
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think your son just came up with a blockbuster vegan children's movie! The guys over at big tofu are gonna go wild over this.

    Giyuuu3
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looll I remember my sister putting a cookie in there and it stopped working🥲😂😂

    Ann M Clinkscales
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great imagination 5y.o.!! We all must think this way more often! Plus, might as well try it! The DVD player is about out anyway!

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    #33

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    aardvarsk Report

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    stardrop loves you
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it just me or are birthday calls the worst. Like srsly I'm trying to enjoy and then my great aunt who I've never seen in my life calls like nooo i wanna eat cakeeeee

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    #40

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    sarahschauer Report

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    Cara G
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my dog barks, his bûtthole protrudes a little bit each time. As if he's barking out an ànal Morse code.

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    #59

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    CarelWillemse Report

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    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one actually made me laugh out loud. Which is probably a shout-out to the current state of my mental health.

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    #61

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    ch000ch Report

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    JB
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "yeah she dropped me off, she loves me and so on, but b*tch you sad cause you ain't got no one!"

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    #63

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

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    stardrop loves you
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My neighbors build custom cars for the fun of it, real rich kid stuff, they also put anime stickers on it :P

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    #67

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    ristolable Report

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    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a whole closet of clothes. Here is the thing though, I have favorites. I wear one for every day of the week. Less laundry, comfortable, easy!

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    #96

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    KimmyMonte Report

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    stardrop loves you
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What (pls dont get mad at me i dont think I'm dumb but they say apartment more than flat here where i live in the US but maybe im just stupid)

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    #98

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    stevententacion Report

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    Vix Spiderthrust
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Edgar Allan Poe. Kim Newman wrote a short story about how the imposter Edgar Allen Poe was stalking the author.

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    #102

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    AdulteRus Report

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    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me whenever I justify drinking too much diet soda: water is the first ingredient!

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    #110

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    justinbieber Report

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    Linda's friend Ginger
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of Coffee Talk with Linda Richman. "I'm getting verklempt! Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic, Rhode Island is neither a road nor and island....Discuss!"

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    #116

    Funniest Tweets Of All Time

    cher Report

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    Cara G
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's being heavily sarcastic. The blue background/white egg shape is the default Twitter profile pic and often indicates troll or bot accounts. She's fake apologizing to a fake Twitter. As if mf-ing CHER cares what some rando thinks, bye.

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