Maybe that's how they met their fathers

Ah. See, I just don't exercise 🤷‍♀️

So that's what the f**k is going on, knew there was a way to blame the English (joking before anyone gets offended!)

That must be in MY DNA, too!

I have a friend whose mom says God only gives you so many heartbeats, and if you exercise you use them up quicker so...

I snortlaughed. Recovered my composure. Reread it and snorted again. It works perfectly in a Scottish accent.

Utterly hysterical!!! 😂 Yes! It’s feast or famine and I can be the feast for myself during the famine….

What dialect is that supposed to even be exactly?

Siblings of different parents

It’s like you are starving, and you find a fish, some seaweed and dandelion greens and you make a meal and still manage to gain weight!

My Russian ancestors felt the same way about the Czar. Thanks for clearing that up.

Love it

I've seen this before but as someone who is British and 50% Scottish and 50% English, it makes no sense to me, European peasant makes me think of European mainland and then the Scottish accent... So it just makes me roll my eyes and think it must have been written by an American

Me with my irish and welsh DNA

But I read this in a Scottish accent!!

You’ve never been to Scotland have you? Love from a Scottish person

You won't lose weight with exercise. You need to eat less calories than you burn. Exercise will keep you fir and tone you up as the weight comes off.

🤣

*hysterically clicking the cancel subscription button*

Now that's funny!

Hoot.

I want to fly with this pilot forever

Once when was 4 when I woke up and started crying, my mother asked if I had a bad dream and I said no, I woke up. Sometimes I still feel like crying when I wake up.

Try a size 12

Best. Explanation. Ever

Does it have pockets?

And when we cough, stand up, sit down, dance, trip, laugh, jump on trampolines, walk, run, exercise, get frightened, live, breathe........

Her breasts were the size of watermelons, and were perky and all natural despite her small frame.

Love this one!!

woah, a tad bit close

She was hiding under a trailer, I saw him on the side of the road, I chased him up a hill and pulled him out of the brambles. (All true cat rescue stories)

This age difference isn't going to work out

He's gonna go places. Not sure where, but places

Rich people call this a "personal assistant".

"uhhh- a blade of grass?"

🤣🤣🤣

My daughter

Same.

Every flight should have a Roscoe 🐶

And how is the apprenticeship going?

Hello toilet my old friend

oh yes

Um…. You’re not supposed to do that either.

What about making an L with your index finger and thumb to help you remember which way is left?

WISH DENIED

My mom was Miss 'take off those earphones and put away that Walkman' years 1982 to 1990.